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When it finally *CLICKED*

Old 09-25-2017, 11:23 PM
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When it finally *CLICKED*

Can some of you guys please share some unique things you did for yourself once you knew you were all for long-term sobriety.

I would love to hear from people that have tried RELENTLESSLY (countless times) to get clean willingly and had an "aha" moment to what wasn't working for them and how they fixed it.

Just one of those weeks where your stories would be much appreciated.

Thank You.
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Old 09-26-2017, 12:01 AM
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I'm not sure that I did anything unique - I just finally gave up on trying all kinds of ways to still drink and not having my life stolen from me.

I also looked for support and found it here at SR.

My story, and a lot of other people's stories, are in our Stories of Recovery forum

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Dee74's story - Part One)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html (Dee's Story Part 2)

D
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Old 09-26-2017, 12:16 AM
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Hi Sky90,
After quite a few attempts 2 years being my longest sober and a 5 months ,3 months and some week long sober this time round I started my latest sober journey on 1st Aug . For me this time I realised that my mind and body can't take it any more especially my mind . I DO NOT WANT TO DIE THIS WAY .
I have a more solid commitment than all of the previous times put together although I have said each of those times " I will never drink again " . This time I have a true acceptance that I CANT DRINK and that I WONT DRINK . Acceptance in a way that I have never had before. I have a KNOWING that alcohol destroys my very soul ,my body and mind . I would never consider drinking bleach mixed with rat poison yet alcohol is for me just as fatal , it would kill me slower or put me in a psychiatric ward .
I have a wonderful wife and family to live for and at age 61 ( today) I WILL NOT waste another day of my precious life through drinking poison . Total Honesty , having a good plan ,education on addictions and of course coming here are tools that I have .
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Old 09-26-2017, 03:20 AM
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After many attempts ranging from rehab to repeated trying to stop just for today, and failing, I went for total immersion in AA with a 90 day misery back guarantee.

By total immersion I mean sponsor, steps meetings, helping others. What clicked? The realisation that I was out of options. It was either AA or an alcoholic death before age 23. I did the work and never drank again.
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Old 09-26-2017, 03:34 AM
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For me.... I'm not sure it actually "clicked" so much as I finally made the actual honest choice and became willing to stick with the work and the action.

The willingness came from a combination of:

Being truly TIRED of being belabored by addiction

Being 'caught' in my addiction - by the law, by my family, by my friends

FEAR - of losing everything (most importantly my children)

FEAR - of falling further out of control

A general awareness there was a better way to be had
SEEING others in sobriety through enough repeated attempts and through SR and AA meetings and generally observing that there were people in the world living GOOD lives in sobriety

So the combination of those things finally added up to the day when I was once again beaten down by a binge and I went to an AA meeting with the true feeling that I was CHOOSING SOBRIETY.

And with that choice, and with that AA meeting (I'd been to many before) - I had a new start. It wasn't easy. I had a LOT of work ahead and well over a year of challenges to my sobriety, to my emotions, to my energy and my sense of self. I was to encounter depression, anxiety, exhaustion, frustration, sexual problems, anger, sadness, irksomeness and all sorts of other crap - but I remained committed to my choice this time.

I used all the tools I'd been exposed to and learned about others. I kept at it. RE-making the choice of sobriety every day. RE-committing to the work every day. Taking action. ACTION was key. I had previously said "I HAVE to get sober....." or "I HAVE to stop drinking" or "THIS HAS TO STOP" or even "I WANT TO BE SOBER". But this time I relentlessly said "I CHOOSE SOBRIETY" and acted on that choice.

It was a subtle but monumental difference.

I built a vision of a life I truly wanted. I purposely and consciously put forth effort to find examples of sobriety and why I chose it. Role models. Gratitude lists. Positives. All the reasons that sobriety was in fact a BETTER WAY OF LIFE...... always focusing on that. Never allowing the idea of drinking or doing drugs to be something romantically enchanting or to allow it to creep in as "better than". Banishing the notion that I was 'broken' or 'missing out' by not drinking.... instead, changing the narrative to myself that DRINKING was in fact the broken thing. DRINKING was the missing out.

It was a process and it took work, work, focus, focus, EVERY DAY CHOICE....

But after a year or so things shifted. I still choose and act. I still use the tools. But today it's just my life, it's just who I am, it's not WORK - it's living! And it's grateful and happy and joyful and it's FREE from the enslavement, the shame, the despair, the hoplessness, the out-of-control spiral.....

You can do it.

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Old 09-26-2017, 05:02 AM
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I tried over and over again to be sober, and couldn't make it past a few weeks. I would day dream about being sober, but when actually faced with the idea of no more booze, I would become fearful.

What changed? Like others, it wasn't an aha moment, rather I finally took some action to educate myself about alcoholism, about the deadly effects of drinking (something I knew, but didn't want to confront), and address my own issues. SR is my outlet, I never did AA. I did read several books though, ones that address the issue at hand. The Naked Mind: Controlling Alcohol, this book completely opened my mind, and was exactly what I needed to jump start my sober journey.

Also listened to lots of podcasts, youtube stories, documentaries, etc., and would reflect after doing so. I think that is an important point: I had to reflect and assess my situation and how it related.

Over days, then weeks, then months, the learning, and reflection, and the simple feeling of no hangovers and sickness, helped to cement the fact that I made the right decision.

It takes work. Start now.
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Old 09-26-2017, 05:09 AM
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i tried many times to quit before joining here and finally truly meaning I would quit. Before I realised I wasn't really trying to quit,i still danced with the idea I could drink normally. By the next weekend or evening I had forgotten the trauma of it and my promise to quit and opened the wine again. I came on here believing that my issue with alcohol started a couple of years ago, when in reality, I was always a harmful drinker, I had been doing it for 20 years. for 20 years it brought me nothing but misery in hindsight, every wrong choice I made that lead to my biggest regrets, was whilst drinking.

The only thing that changed this time, and I am only sober for 68 days, so not long, but the longest for me. Was when I joined here, was I admitted defeat into trying to moderate. I had accepted I am a person that cannot drink ever again in my life if I want some quality of life and happiness.

The key to have staying stopped so far for me? Well, I haven't done meetings, for my own reasons. I found once you accept something isn't in your life anymore, you don't have the everyday mental fight. Its actually very freeing.

ive worked on making a life for myself I don't want to escape in a haze of booze anymore. I am building a life that has no place for alcohol in it, it truly has nothing to offer me anymore. This, for me, has whats been crucial. I had to tackle why I was drinking in the first place, and learn to manage those feelings in different, positive and rewarding ways.

You will( or possibly are) reach a point where you eyes are truly open, it could be a moment, or a process. But when you have made the choice you have fully committed to, do everything you can to support that choice with all your might. Good luck to you!
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Old 09-26-2017, 05:19 AM
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Truly, I was older and once again in trouble with my drinking. In collision with everything and everybody. It was getting harder each time to come back from the alcoholic wasteland to sobriety. I was truly sick and tired of being sick and tired, it had caught up to me for the last time and I knew that. Made a firm decision to not drink again.
M-Bob
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Old 09-26-2017, 05:23 AM
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Seeing it simply...

Originally Posted by sky90 View Post
Can some of you guys please share some unique things you did for yourself once you knew you were all for long-term sobriety.

I would love to hear from people that have tried RELENTLESSLY (countless times) to get clean willingly and had an "aha" moment to what wasn't working for them and how they fixed it.

Just one of those weeks where your stories would be much appreciated.

Thank You.
I have tried so many times to stop drinking, used drugs before drink became the "sensible choice". When I look back things could have been so different, I would not be so alone, as I am today. This forum has given me hope and the "click" which brought me here is that stopping.drinking is a simple choice. I made so many stories about my life and had so many imaginings, but understanding the action necessary is the key for me. I am grateful, so grateful, to have everyone at SR who wants the same thing...
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Old 09-26-2017, 08:37 PM
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Awesome thank you for the link. I am glad for SR too!

SR is great because there are so many resources on here and someone is usually always up when those late night cravings occur!


Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm not sure that I did anything unique - I just finally gave up on trying all kinds of ways to still drink and not having my life stolen from me.

I also looked for support and found it here at SR.

My story, and a lot of other people's stories, are in our Stories of Recovery forum

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Dee74's story - Part One)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html (Dee's Story Part 2)

D
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Old 09-26-2017, 08:54 PM
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Ah yes the effect drugs and alcohol have on our minds is the absolute worst! Having a plan is a very very good idea!

thnx!

Originally Posted by Thomas59 View Post
Hi Sky90,
After quite a few attempts 2 years being my longest sober and a 5 months ,3 months and some week long sober this time round I started my latest sober journey on 1st Aug . For me this time I realised that my mind and body can't take it any more especially my mind . I DO NOT WANT TO DIE THIS WAY .
I have a more solid commitment than all of the previous times put together although I have said each of those times " I will never drink again " . This time I have a true acceptance that I CANT DRINK and that I WONT DRINK . Acceptance in a way that I have never had before. I have a KNOWING that alcohol destroys my very soul ,my body and mind . I would never consider drinking bleach mixed with rat poison yet alcohol is for me just as fatal , it would kill me slower or put me in a psychiatric ward .
I have a wonderful wife and family to live for and at age 61 ( today) I WILL NOT waste another day of my precious life through drinking poison . Total Honesty , having a good plan ,education on addictions and of course coming here are tools that I have .
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Old 09-27-2017, 05:12 AM
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I checked in here and saw some one's quote that said something like "When i realized I could continue drinking like I am and live for a few more years or give it up and have a chance of living a few more decades, the choice became clear"
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Old 09-27-2017, 06:22 AM
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My "aha" "moment" occurred over a period of a few months. First, I tapered down to zero alcohol and on the very day that I reached complete sobriety, I saved a guy's life. It was as if the universe was confirming that sobriety was the answer for me. But that very night, with the stress and elation of being in that moment, I drank (a lot). I knew then that I couldn't quit on my own. Then, about five weeks later, the lies and deceit of my drinking reached a point where I was, without question, going to lose my fiance and probably more. That was my bottom and I chose to get off the elevator and start rebuilding my life.
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Old 09-27-2017, 02:13 PM
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My ah-ha moment was when I finally got honest with myself that absolutely nothing or no one external was going to fix my alcoholism. I had to change internally and take action to do so.
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:30 AM
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"I found once you accept something isn't in your life anymore, you don't have the everyday mental fight. Its actually very freeing."

^ That is wonderful.

Thank you. I am glad you have made a life worth staying sober for. It gives hope to those of us that are still searching for meaning and purpose.


Originally Posted by noturningback2 View Post
i tried many times to quit before joining here and finally truly meaning I would quit. Before I realised I wasn't really trying to quit,i still danced with the idea I could drink normally. By the next weekend or evening I had forgotten the trauma of it and my promise to quit and opened the wine again. I came on here believing that my issue with alcohol started a couple of years ago, when in reality, I was always a harmful drinker, I had been doing it for 20 years. for 20 years it brought me nothing but misery in hindsight, every wrong choice I made that lead to my biggest regrets, was whilst drinking.

The only thing that changed this time, and I am only sober for 68 days, so not long, but the longest for me. Was when I joined here, was I admitted defeat into trying to moderate. I had accepted I am a person that cannot drink ever again in my life if I want some quality of life and happiness.

The key to have staying stopped so far for me? Well, I haven't done meetings, for my own reasons. I found once you accept something isn't in your life anymore, you don't have the everyday mental fight. Its actually very freeing.

ive worked on making a life for myself I don't want to escape in a haze of booze anymore. I am building a life that has no place for alcohol in it, it truly has nothing to offer me anymore. This, for me, has whats been crucial. I had to tackle why I was drinking in the first place, and learn to manage those feelings in different, positive and rewarding ways.

You will( or possibly are) reach a point where you eyes are truly open, it could be a moment, or a process. But when you have made the choice you have fully committed to, do everything you can to support that choice with all your might. Good luck to you!
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Old 09-28-2017, 02:52 AM
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My first attempt at sobriety lasted about 5 months, but it was for all of the wrong reasons. I was doing it to "prove" I wasn't an alcoholic and could quit. A bad relationship where my S.O. stole lots of money from me while I was wasted all of the time (mainly because I was miserable with him) spurred that on. I went to see a friend one weekend and..........there went that.
This time I know it will last. I took a hard look at how alcohol was affecting my life. I was calling into work a lot, lying to those I love, hiding my habit, spending way too much money at my local bar etc. For me, personally, I need to "mentally prep" for big life decisions. So around November of last year, I set a quit date of Feb 2017. I went and saw my gf for one last boating/party weekend, came home, and was done. I'm 8 months in and it has NOT been easy. But I'm becoming more and more comfortable in my "sober skin". Sobriety is becoming more natural, now, versus just getting by "one day at a time". I'm truly looking forward to the future, now. I recently found out I'm going to have to move due to a rent raise, and where as before while drinking I'd be freaking out and procrastinating, this time I'm actually excited and looking forward to moving.
Life's challenges when sober become much easier to navigate. My mind is clear, I have goals and can think ahead, and I just KNOW that I'll be okay no matter what, because I will be present in every moment.
I wouldn't say sobriety has been "fun", but the alternative, being drunk, hungover and ashamed, just isn't an option anymore. It is NEVER worth it.
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Old 09-28-2017, 03:28 AM
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AA is currently working for me - though I know it isn't for everyone.

What felt like struggle and effort and fighting suddenly began to feel like a gentle, very gradual surrender. I realised that while alcohol was causing me huge amounts of problems, the actual problem was me and I had to get at the root of things. It hasn't been an easy process. But I have inched along, following suggestions from my sponsor and others at meetings, and I am eight and a half months without a drink. That feels like a kind of miracle to me.
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Old 09-28-2017, 06:11 AM
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I did have an "aha" moment - I was sitting in the police station, being booked for my third DUI (I had run into a parked car while texting my best friend, lying to him that I was already home), and a feeling of total despair and surrender washed over me. After I got picked up from the police station and was back home, I called a friend I knew was sober and in AA and asked for help. He took me to my first meeting and recommended a treatment program, which I began one week after the arrest.

Surrendering and admitting I was out of control and needed help was the first step. When I went to that meeting and saw Step 1, I knew I was in the right place. A feeling of relief and joy washed over me when I realized I didn't have to do it alone and that there was hope.

Has it been easy? No. It's been a lot of work and there's been a lot of pain along the way as I worked to repair the damage I had done to my life and the people in it. But as time goes on, I know absolutely that nothing good ever came from my drinking and that I will never go back to that old life. It's over and done with. Life is so much better now, and just keeps getting better.
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Old 09-28-2017, 08:59 AM
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There was nothing that really clicked for me, it was simply a matter of putting the plan of action in motion. Just like I've done with other things in my life. Things like reaching a financial goal, or getting my body in shape or tackling a large project. I rolled up my sleeves and got to work on sobriety. It was the most important thing in my life for at least 4 months. It controlled my every moment. Now, I just live my life. Rarely does the pull of booze enter my mind. Not sure if that helps you, but it has been my experience.
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Old 09-29-2017, 12:35 PM
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
There was nothing that really clicked for me, it was simply a matter of putting the plan of action in motion. Just like I've done with other things in my life. Things like reaching a financial goal, or getting my body in shape or tackling a large project. I rolled up my sleeves and got to work on sobriety. It was the most important thing in my life for at least 4 months. It controlled my every moment. Now, I just live my life. Rarely does the pull of booze enter my mind. Not sure if that helps you, but it has been my experience.
That clicks with me too on many levels... If we can get ourselves into a mess we must be able to get ourselves out of one... Apply antidotes to problems I find helps, such as if I find myself bored or time which would have lent itself to drinking do something else... Live!
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