Originally Posted by noturningback2

i tried many times to quit before joining here and finally truly meaning I would quit. Before I realised I wasn't really trying to quit,i still danced with the idea I could drink normally. By the next weekend or evening I had forgotten the trauma of it and my promise to quit and opened the wine again. I came on here believing that my issue with alcohol started a couple of years ago, when in reality, I was always a harmful drinker, I had been doing it for 20 years. for 20 years it brought me nothing but misery in hindsight, every wrong choice I made that lead to my biggest regrets, was whilst drinking.

The only thing that changed this time, and I am only sober for 68 days, so not long, but the longest for me. Was when I joined here, was I admitted defeat into trying to moderate. I had accepted I am a person that cannot drink ever again in my life if I want some quality of life and happiness.

The key to have staying stopped so far for me? Well, I haven't done meetings, for my own reasons. I found once you accept something isn't in your life anymore, you don't have the everyday mental fight. Its actually very freeing.

ive worked on making a life for myself I don't want to escape in a haze of booze anymore. I am building a life that has no place for alcohol in it, it truly has nothing to offer me anymore. This, for me, has whats been crucial. I had to tackle why I was drinking in the first place, and learn to manage those feelings in different, positive and rewarding ways.

You will( or possibly are) reach a point where you eyes are truly open, it could be a moment, or a process. But when you have made the choice you have fully committed to, do everything you can to support that choice with all your might. Good luck to you!