I need help
Five years is a big milestone.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Samsheppard64 
Five years three months sober. Is sobriety what I'd hoped it would be? Not in the beginning but today, yes very mush so. I turned 59 last month and quite possibly in the best physical shape I've been in sense my 20's. Okay granted, I not as flexible as I was in my 20's, but I was also not always sober. So there is that. I'm living life on life's terms and pushing and pulling where needed. My Wife's Niece has moved close to us and she is so happy her joy feels the house with laughter and light. It is truly a miracle she stayed with me through it all. I'll never stop appreciating how important that is to my sobriety. I'm not cautiously stepping through life. I'm certain in my resolve and confident in my actions. I am the man my father always wanting me to be. I will remain sober today. Sam
what a great report.
congratulations and thank you for helping me stay sober today.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Missouir
Posts: 109
Dropped in to share my thoughts at this point in my sobriety. Five years plus eight months give or take a few days. I’m not struggling with wanting to consume alcohol but I’m finding it difficult to recall positive memories from before I stopped drinking. My years drinking far exceed my years sober and while I’m building positive memories now. When I reflect on my life from before. All I’m getting is painful cringing emotional memories. All those moments I can now see vividly where I was totally out of control and completely mad by all normal standards. I’d welcome thoughts on the matter if anyone has similarly shared experience. As always, I am grateful for this forum. I will remain sober today, Sam
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,880
Just keep building sober memories and time, Sam. The old memories will fade with time and continued sobriety. Have you considered a volunteer activity? Volunteering can be very healthy for the psyche.
Very well done on your sober time.
Very well done on your sober time.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
Hi Sam—great job on your sober time!
Sometimes I also ruminate on the “pre-quit” negative memories I made plenty of whilst still drinking. I don’t ever want to take my sobriety for granted or forget how much I paid spiritually, mentally, and physically for my alcohol addiction.
I am not an AA person, but I did choose to make amends where possible and without causing any more harm, and I spent a good amount of time reflecting and writing about the lessons I learned, hard as some were, that helped me to grow exponentially at times.
These days I do occasionally think back, but not often. The most important step for me in that reflective process was the last one—to forgive myself for the past, and only hold myself accountable for all present and future actions. I can’t change those cringy moments, plus at the time, I was using the poor tools I had, among them drinking, to deal with childhood trauma and some very difficult life circumstances.
So that’s done and dusted—can’t change it, no use digging it up over and over. Now I focus on learning new things, being kind and helpful to people as I can, and appreciating the little joys and beauty around me plus setting the stage for some new and exciting chapters of my life now that I’m retired. Volunteering is a big part of that as is travel and a new career I’m studying for now.
I think the most helpful thing for me now is dropping the heavy cross of judgement I have carried for myself, and others, in favor of grace.
Please give yourself that gift—it frees so much energy to put back into your precious life. You’ve paid enough. Let it go
Sometimes I also ruminate on the “pre-quit” negative memories I made plenty of whilst still drinking. I don’t ever want to take my sobriety for granted or forget how much I paid spiritually, mentally, and physically for my alcohol addiction.
I am not an AA person, but I did choose to make amends where possible and without causing any more harm, and I spent a good amount of time reflecting and writing about the lessons I learned, hard as some were, that helped me to grow exponentially at times.
These days I do occasionally think back, but not often. The most important step for me in that reflective process was the last one—to forgive myself for the past, and only hold myself accountable for all present and future actions. I can’t change those cringy moments, plus at the time, I was using the poor tools I had, among them drinking, to deal with childhood trauma and some very difficult life circumstances.
So that’s done and dusted—can’t change it, no use digging it up over and over. Now I focus on learning new things, being kind and helpful to people as I can, and appreciating the little joys and beauty around me plus setting the stage for some new and exciting chapters of my life now that I’m retired. Volunteering is a big part of that as is travel and a new career I’m studying for now.
I think the most helpful thing for me now is dropping the heavy cross of judgement I have carried for myself, and others, in favor of grace.
Please give yourself that gift—it frees so much energy to put back into your precious life. You’ve paid enough. Let it go
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,241
Thank you, Sam, for returning to share some positive steps
in your own quest for continuous sobriety. Sober recovery
has helped and continues to help and support many in all
stages of recovery.
Stay connected as what you share on your journey can
definitely help another needing support just like you and
all of us each day.
Awesome achievement.
in your own quest for continuous sobriety. Sober recovery
has helped and continues to help and support many in all
stages of recovery.
Stay connected as what you share on your journey can
definitely help another needing support just like you and
all of us each day.
Awesome achievement.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
You're not alone. The "what ifs" that come with sobriety are pretty common, I think. I hit the 10-year mark this year and experience what you describe from time to time. The bad stuff can still be vivid and have a grip on me.
It's sort of like looking back through a time machine and seeing you could have invested in Apple when it was some iffy start-up running out of a garage. It didn't happen but there were riches of another kind enjoyed in the time between then and now. When I struggle withe the "what ifs," I stop to remind myself that even though it was pre-sobriety, I still found awe in looking at an ocean and felt joy in the hugs of my family. And more. There were still good times. I've no doubt there are snapshots like that in your life, too.
Don't underestimate your life before sobriety. It helped you build your new foundation and live for today.
It's sort of like looking back through a time machine and seeing you could have invested in Apple when it was some iffy start-up running out of a garage. It didn't happen but there were riches of another kind enjoyed in the time between then and now. When I struggle withe the "what ifs," I stop to remind myself that even though it was pre-sobriety, I still found awe in looking at an ocean and felt joy in the hugs of my family. And more. There were still good times. I've no doubt there are snapshots like that in your life, too.
Don't underestimate your life before sobriety. It helped you build your new foundation and live for today.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Missouir
Posts: 109
From my first post almost seven years ago. "My life is out of control. Alcohol appears to be my god and god hates me". This truly was the way it was for me. Alcohol or how alcohol made me feel was the most important thing in my life at that time. At the very same time I hated who I was and the way I acted. How my wife found the strength to faithfully stand by my side is still a mystery to me. This weekend marks six years sober and I'm thankful for every single day. As ubiquitous as alcohol is in society the voice calling me to imbibe has been muted. It didn't happen over night but with each day living life on life's terms rebirth did happen. If you are reading this and looking for a reason to stop drinking then you are in the right place. Read the stories and if you can, find support. You are worth it and your life has meaning. I will remain sober today, Sam
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,012
Sam, I love that you keep coming back and reviving this thread. The story it highlights is inspiring.
I hit 6 years next August and I'm 61.
Because of people like you, I quit drinking before it got too bad. I will be forever grateful to everyone of you known and unknown who let me know what it was like further down the drinking road so I could decide to get off that highway.
Peace to you good person.
I hit 6 years next August and I'm 61.
Because of people like you, I quit drinking before it got too bad. I will be forever grateful to everyone of you known and unknown who let me know what it was like further down the drinking road so I could decide to get off that highway.
Peace to you good person.
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