Long Days Long Nights We Can Stay Sober Weekender 16-18 June
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
Originally Posted by Nonsensical 
Alcohol Induced Anhedonia is a real thing. I was loaded with it. I didn't know it for a long time, so I kept running back to the bottle thinking I don't like how sober feels.
Problem was - I didn't actually know how sober felt because I wasn't sober long enough to get past the alcohol induced anhedonia.
I'm not a 12-stepper, but the AA crowd advocates 90 meetings in 90 days, and I think that's a damn good rule of thumb. Give yourself a chance to actually feel what it's like to be sober.
If you haven't started yet, the best day to start your 90 days is today!
Good to see you posting Lunar and congratulations on the 253 days plus the time you have now. Even though you relapsed for a time they are not wasted.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Great opener Sao, thank you! Congrats on shotgun MB!
So true! I think the thing that's helped me (outside of the no excuses mentality) is remembering that as pissy and irritated as I feel during a craving that it will not last forever. It's now been 10 days since I've had a cigarette and it amazes me how a craving is a craving is a craving. Doesn't matter if it's alcohol, drugs. nicotine. food. or what it is. It's a learned reward system. I was really amazed at how my mind will follow that pathway at certain times and I forget that I am not a smoker now. In the morning with coffee, after a meal, after a task has been completed at work. I even had it down to a stopping point on a list of invoices I create weekly. There was a specific client I'd get to in the list and that would be cig time. I never realized just how much time smoking sucked out of my day.
Just like I learned with alcohol the removal of that reward system may start out as a source of irritation but with some extreme commitment it turns into freedom!
I don't have to worry anymore things like if I had to find a new job how many breaks they allow and how often. I actually shied away from applying at certain places knowing they have a smoke free campus. I now get to work earlier in the morning because I don't spend half my morning on the front porch smoking. Finally, and I know how bizarre this is going to sound, I am no longer concerned about doing my 3 days of alternative sentencing next year. I had no clue how on earth i was going to make it through three days without a cigarette. I am actually looking forward to giving back to the community for those three days now.
Ok, so back to the alcohol. It's the same result. You start out scared and worried about how you'll ever live your life without alcohol. How you're ever going to have any fun, how it feels like life is going to be over.
Completely untrue, if you do recovery right you'll find that it was alcohol that was keeping you from living life as it's meant to be lived. You will experience REAL joy.
Have a great weekend everybody!
once you can really get your head around the fact that cravings are just a bit of broken neurology it does make them easier to dismiss.
Just like I learned with alcohol the removal of that reward system may start out as a source of irritation but with some extreme commitment it turns into freedom!
I don't have to worry anymore things like if I had to find a new job how many breaks they allow and how often. I actually shied away from applying at certain places knowing they have a smoke free campus. I now get to work earlier in the morning because I don't spend half my morning on the front porch smoking. Finally, and I know how bizarre this is going to sound, I am no longer concerned about doing my 3 days of alternative sentencing next year. I had no clue how on earth i was going to make it through three days without a cigarette. I am actually looking forward to giving back to the community for those three days now.
Ok, so back to the alcohol. It's the same result. You start out scared and worried about how you'll ever live your life without alcohol. How you're ever going to have any fun, how it feels like life is going to be over.
Completely untrue, if you do recovery right you'll find that it was alcohol that was keeping you from living life as it's meant to be lived. You will experience REAL joy.
Have a great weekend everybody!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,327
In.
Thanks Saou and heloooo everyone.
AV was active tonight as Mr P said "on holiday you can have a drink to remember the last time we were there"(Not there yet we go in a while). Really!!! I mean Mr p I thought I'd made my position on this quite clear! Looks like it's time for another chat 😂
Night all xx
Thanks Saou and heloooo everyone.
AV was active tonight as Mr P said "on holiday you can have a drink to remember the last time we were there"(Not there yet we go in a while). Really!!! I mean Mr p I thought I'd made my position on this quite clear! Looks like it's time for another chat 😂
Night all xx
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
I just realised that Sunday is Fathers Day in the US as well as the UK. I dunno why but I thought they would be on diferrent days (Mothers Day is)Is it also FD in other countries? I might of mentioned it in my OP if I had known although I am hardly dad of the year material. Anyway best wishes to any dads out there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
I wasn't long at my current job - about a week - when my consultant came to me and said he was bringing in a patient for a major operation. This gentleman had cancer and they would be taking out half his tongue. It was a huge procedure, involving several different doctors, bags of blood from the blood bank and up to 12 hours in theatre. It was up to me to make the arrangements. I remember halfway through the day. The registrar came down as he needed a break at around 4 PM, I asked how it went and he said "we are still working on him".
About two weeks passed and I forgot about it until there was a knock on the office door. I got up to open it and nearly collapsed from shock. It was the patient himself, struggling talk and even breathe. He handed me a piece of paper with my name and job title on it. I wasn't sure who was going to pass out first: him because he was clearly extremely ill or me because I had never seen someone so close to death before.
Today again there was a knock on the door. Again I got up to open it to be greeted by the same gentleman, this time nicely dressed. This time I was able to "talk" to him in a more positive manner. Also, although his speech is not brilliant it's 100 times better than it was. I had to really focus on what he was saying to be able to understand but at least we could communicate without him writing things down. The last time I had to send for one of the nurses as I was so "uncomfortable" for want of a better word.
Anyway he is going on a trip with a local church group and the organisation want a letter from my consultant to say he is ok to travel. I have read many of the letters about him which come my way as my consultant is...well a dinosaur basically. He doesn't open his mail or read his emails. I have to open everything and print it all off.
Truthfully I'm not sure how much more time he has left on this planet. But to see him looking so well today left me in complete awe of the strength of the human body and the human spirit. In many ways we are extremely fragile but in other ways we are powerful beyond belief.
No matter how bad things may seem, there is always hope. You just have to know where to look for it.
About two weeks passed and I forgot about it until there was a knock on the office door. I got up to open it and nearly collapsed from shock. It was the patient himself, struggling talk and even breathe. He handed me a piece of paper with my name and job title on it. I wasn't sure who was going to pass out first: him because he was clearly extremely ill or me because I had never seen someone so close to death before.
Today again there was a knock on the door. Again I got up to open it to be greeted by the same gentleman, this time nicely dressed. This time I was able to "talk" to him in a more positive manner. Also, although his speech is not brilliant it's 100 times better than it was. I had to really focus on what he was saying to be able to understand but at least we could communicate without him writing things down. The last time I had to send for one of the nurses as I was so "uncomfortable" for want of a better word.
Anyway he is going on a trip with a local church group and the organisation want a letter from my consultant to say he is ok to travel. I have read many of the letters about him which come my way as my consultant is...well a dinosaur basically. He doesn't open his mail or read his emails. I have to open everything and print it all off.
Truthfully I'm not sure how much more time he has left on this planet. But to see him looking so well today left me in complete awe of the strength of the human body and the human spirit. In many ways we are extremely fragile but in other ways we are powerful beyond belief.
No matter how bad things may seem, there is always hope. You just have to know where to look for it.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Went to the gym, went to the book store, went to Yankee candle, went in to Spencer's just to look around and aside from t-shirts all there seemed to be was things to drink out of. Big drink cups, novelty wine glasses, beer bongs, shot glasses, flasks, you name it. Took a quick gander around (at other stuff), but high tailed it out of there. And then every tshirt says something about getting wasted. Or the f word. 
Cravings pretty minor today.. able to drive to school and go shopping without being at all pre-occupied with buying wine.. in fact it didn't cross my mind on the way home which is strange to me. I only had one moment of desire to drink today, when I began to obsess a bit over a male who I have had an on and off attraction two over the past two years.
I understand that people don't trigger me to want to drink, but rather I want to drink, and I find people whose behaviors I can focus on and react to, thus giving me a reason to justify my wanting to drink.
I still have not cleaned or put laundry away, I have three baskets of clean laundry, and dirty stuff on the floor I have to do. So I guess my goal for the night is to get that done and put away and I'd like to read myself some Big Book. As much as I should study for this test coming up on Monday.
I want to check up on one of my best buds who had to have his beloved daschsund put to sleep today. I checked up on 3 classmates who didn't show up to lab, all dealing with difficult things in their personal lives. They appreciated me reaching out. I don't reach out to people as often as I'd like and frankly don't think about it when I'm not sober.
My very best friend in the whole world (the one I spoke to last night who understands and has been sharing my struggles again lately) is getting married tomorrow. Small ceremony with only two witnesses, and I live a 9 hour drive from there, but I will be there in spirit.
Cravings pretty minor today.. able to drive to school and go shopping without being at all pre-occupied with buying wine.. in fact it didn't cross my mind on the way home which is strange to me. I only had one moment of desire to drink today, when I began to obsess a bit over a male who I have had an on and off attraction two over the past two years.
I understand that people don't trigger me to want to drink, but rather I want to drink, and I find people whose behaviors I can focus on and react to, thus giving me a reason to justify my wanting to drink.
I still have not cleaned or put laundry away, I have three baskets of clean laundry, and dirty stuff on the floor I have to do. So I guess my goal for the night is to get that done and put away and I'd like to read myself some Big Book. As much as I should study for this test coming up on Monday.
I want to check up on one of my best buds who had to have his beloved daschsund put to sleep today. I checked up on 3 classmates who didn't show up to lab, all dealing with difficult things in their personal lives. They appreciated me reaching out. I don't reach out to people as often as I'd like and frankly don't think about it when I'm not sober.
My very best friend in the whole world (the one I spoke to last night who understands and has been sharing my struggles again lately) is getting married tomorrow. Small ceremony with only two witnesses, and I live a 9 hour drive from there, but I will be there in spirit.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Originally Posted by Lascaux
I'm on for the weekend -once I get home from the office tomorrow I intend to not leave the house during any hours that the liquor stores are open.
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