Went to the gym, went to the book store, went to Yankee candle, went in to Spencer's just to look around and aside from t-shirts all there seemed to be was things to drink out of. Big drink cups, novelty wine glasses, beer bongs, shot glasses, flasks, you name it. Took a quick gander around (at other stuff), but high tailed it out of there. And then every tshirt says something about getting wasted. Or the f word.
Cravings pretty minor today.. able to drive to school and go shopping without being at all pre-occupied with buying wine.. in fact it didn't cross my mind on the way home which is strange to me. I only had one moment of desire to drink today, when I began to obsess a bit over a male who I have had an on and off attraction two over the past two years.
I understand that people don't trigger me to want to drink, but rather I want to drink, and I find people whose behaviors I can focus on and react to, thus giving me a reason to justify my wanting to drink.
I still have not cleaned or put laundry away, I have three baskets of clean laundry, and dirty stuff on the floor I have to do. So I guess my goal for the night is to get that done and put away and I'd like to read myself some Big Book. As much as I should study for this test coming up on Monday.
I want to check up on one of my best buds who had to have his beloved daschsund put to sleep today. I checked up on 3 classmates who didn't show up to lab, all dealing with difficult things in their personal lives. They appreciated me reaching out. I don't reach out to people as often as I'd like and frankly don't think about it when I'm not sober.
My very best friend in the whole world (the one I spoke to last night who understands and has been sharing my struggles again lately) is getting married tomorrow. Small ceremony with only two witnesses, and I live a 9 hour drive from there, but I will be there in spirit.
