Winslow

Thanks everyone I'm sitting here thinking about all of this and something has to be triggering the daily thoughts that I've had lately, I'm starting to go over all of the supplements I'm taking and doing research on which one could possibly cause cravings, I know that sounds like an excuse but if some antidepressants can cause alcohol cravings, then perhaps a supplement that increases serotonin can do the same,or one that lowers it,just trying to piece it together

sugarbear1

Or it could just be cravings. I just quit cigs. 5+ years off alcohol and I quit the cigs. I used Chantix for several weeks and then stopped that. I get cravings for smoking.

I think it's just years of habit mixed with nicotine dependence.

Sometimes a craving is a craving.

Winslow

True Sugarbear,I realize I just need to get my head straight and quit making excuses period

Midwest1981

Winslow- I think sugar can sometimes cause alcohol cravings. I think eating healthy and often will help.

Winslow

Day 7(again)feel sort of depressed today it's like this last relapse sucked the wind from my once strong sails and I feel defeated, it's worse when it comes out of nowhere, now I could see if I was out at casinos or at a wedding or something and caved but no,I was working and the thought popped in about how I missed the kids and how lucky everyone else on the planet gets to drink and who cares,blah,blah, blah, damn AV!! Midwest, I do think that sugar keeps addiction going too,also low blood sugar, dehydration,etc but then I haven't been sticking to a healthy diet cuz food makes me too darn happy! I feel like a mess,shake it off and keep going right? Right!!!!

Dee74

You will feel better again Winslow - congrats on your week

D

Winslow

Thank you Dee the blues I felt this morning have gone thank goodness, I actually feel pretty darn good now,more secure and determined that I can make it stick again, the first few days I felt like a failure and was really talking down to myself, I can't be like that! Last night I did a self hypnosis on YouTube for alcohol and the guy said"you have to love yourself and realize that you don't need to punish yourself with alcohol" so I'm trying to overcome and learn to love myself, let go of some guilt and let go of dumb booze

Midwest1981

I am glad you are feeling better Winslow. You are right ...you can walk right out of this! The first week is always the toughest.

Winslow

Tired today but worked and got in nearly11,000 steps so far,think I just didn't sleep that great and iit's overcast here,that always zaps my energy, making a salad and chicken for dinner, easy,other than the fatigue I feel fine on day nine

Crestline

Hi Winslow,

I have 9 days today as well.

I was driving around doing errands this morning and out of nowhere I gave myself permission to drink later. I got so excited. My whole attitude changed - I felt happy, almost giddy.

I finished my errands and went out to lunch. I was at The Olive Garden, so I could have started my drinking then but it was 11:00 am, and I was far from home. I'm sooooooo fearful of getting a DUI - not drinking while I was out was not a problem.

As soon as I was finished eating my desire to drink left. I came home, took a 3-hour nap!!, got up, steamed some veggies and started reading your story.

I'm SO happy that I didn't drink today.

Unfortunately I left my Fitbit at home on the charger, so none of my steps today counted... dang!

Keep up the good work and keep posting.

Winslow

Crestline,I hate when I'm not wearing my fitbit and get so many steps in! I have friends that I compete with so I bugs me more haha,I totally understand that feeling you described,it's almost like you decide to drink and your whole entire body responds,I'll get dizzy,shaky,just weird and that's why I try not to let the thoughts take hold, I'm learning also not to fight the thoughts so much because if I fight too hard,seems like they dig in worse! I'm just gonna realize that they're just thoughts and will pass,the first day of this last bender there was plenty I could have done instead but I dunno if I really wanted to tbh,not that day anyway, I've got to change that thinking too

Winslow

Couldn't sleep great last night, up really early cuz I'm stressed about my oldest daughter who left for FL with some new boyfriend we barely know, I was nervous from the get go about her going and seems I was right to be! She called last night in distress and wants to come home, problem is that he's taken her phone and ID so if I bought her a ticket, she can't get on the bus anyways, I knew when they left the day after Halloween that it was a stupid idea,I swear these grown kids drive me crazy!

Dee74

I hope you can work out how to get her home safe and sound asap Winslow. Prayers for you both .

D

tomsteve

im glad ya see that!
I used to make excuses for my actions,early in recovery. friends( those real,true friends) knew I was lieing to myself. they would say something like,"to thine own self be true" or "good luck with that" when they heard me make an excuse or blame something or someone for what was goin on in me.
eventually I got the humility to admit and accept I am responsible for my actions and it was going to take T.I.M.E. for my thinker to straighten out.
I drank for quite a few years. the mental obsession wasn't going to leave in a week.

Midwest1981

Winslow- has she went to the police? I would hope they would help her get the ID and phone back.

I hope she gets home soon.

Winslow

Midwest, I don't know what is going on, hubs talked to this guys' mom but she sounded as high as they do,she kept pushing hubs to send money to get my daughter home! He said he would buy a one way ticket for her period, this is so much drama, I'd hate to get the police involved knowing how flaky my daughter is anyways, guess I just wait and see if she calls again today,I just want to stay in bed but hafta go to work with a fake smile on, yippie

Winslow

Flaky daughter is right! Hubs talked to her yesterday and she and the boyfriend are"working it out" meh I ain't got time for that! Went to the doctor yesterday and we talked about the binge drinking, she wants me to try naltrexone but I'm a bit scared of the s.e's anxiety, insomnia, etc are some of the reasons that I felt like drinking before, ugh,there's no magic pill,maybe it would help, maybe it won't, just kinda scared of it and if I do try it,it'd be a microdose

Midwest1981

Winslow- I am glad you went to the doctor...its good to know what options you have!

I hope things work out okay for your daughter in Florida.

Winslow

Bleh,I don't want to look at turkey for a looooong time! It was too good so of course I ate like a horse,slept really deep but couldn't wake up today, then I had leftovers for dinner tonight, meh,at least there was no room for creepy alcohol my daughter and I tried to do some shopping and of course everything we wanted was picked clean,ate lunch at Cafe Rio it would have been good if I weren't still full from last night haha

Winslow

Decorated for Christmas around the house yesterday, it feels nice and peaceful, maybe I should keep it up year round haha, the holidays seem to bring out a little sadness in me I think it's reflecting on the year,money is tight, not eating right, meh,then thinking of the coming year and what will happen, doing my self hypnosis before bed,last night was about a positive attitude but I don't think it took,I like the addiction one better I think, for some reason the guys voice is more relaxing and I feel more guided or something, just trying to find the positive and good stuff in each day,each day I'm not drunk or recovering from drinking is wide open and I can do things, it's freedom.