Class of May 2016 Support Thread Part 3
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 973
Originally Posted by ben83 
Well I made it! no alcohol not even a sip to toast the wedding. very awkward environment my parents introducing themselves to my son as grandma and grandad he doesn't know them not fair on the kid. Still I did it. Very proud of myself cheers guys for the support 
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Alberta
Posts: 48
I just sent an email to my Aunt and Uncle who occasionally come for dinner, bringing with them a bottle of wine that we always share together. In the past I have had a week or two sober and then when they come I am too embarrassed to say anything about my alcoholism and so just give up my sobriety and share the wine.
They come for dinner tomorrow night. Yesterday I finally had the courage to give sobriety another honest go - I knew I had to do something about not allowing any alcohol in my home at this point. So I just sent them an email simply stating that I am dealing with an alcohol issue and am abstaining so please don't bring any wine to dinner. That was actually really hard to do and something I would have never been willing to do in the past. My relationship with my Aunt and Uncle is still quite new and we don't really get into personal stuff, so I felt really embarrassed to have to share this part of my life with them but if I didn't I would have been drinking wine with them tomorrow night. And I am almost through day 2 so I don't want to give that up (again).
Don't want to be in this prison anymore.
Blue
They come for dinner tomorrow night. Yesterday I finally had the courage to give sobriety another honest go - I knew I had to do something about not allowing any alcohol in my home at this point. So I just sent them an email simply stating that I am dealing with an alcohol issue and am abstaining so please don't bring any wine to dinner. That was actually really hard to do and something I would have never been willing to do in the past. My relationship with my Aunt and Uncle is still quite new and we don't really get into personal stuff, so I felt really embarrassed to have to share this part of my life with them but if I didn't I would have been drinking wine with them tomorrow night. And I am almost through day 2 so I don't want to give that up (again).
Don't want to be in this prison anymore.
Blue
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: England
Posts: 446
Originally Posted by strangeangel
Awful day here. My husband is out of town. Was using his computer and found text messages from some girl he (a friend, he's met her twice) that he took out for drinks last night. I'm livid and want to drink so bad. I dumped out two bottles of remaining booze and really want to dump out all of his expensive whiskey and beer. I took an Antabuse too so I can't drink but I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. I want to crawl out of my skin. I am so angry and don't feel like I have an outlet. He's done this to me before and I'm just so vulnerable right now. I'm trying to take my mind off of it and I can't. I'm feeling really anxious and really terrible
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Originally Posted by Bluejay71
I just sent an email to my Aunt and Uncle who occasionally come for dinner, bringing with them a bottle of wine that we always share together. In the past I have had a week or two sober and then when they come I am too embarrassed to say anything about my alcoholism and so just give up my sobriety and share the wine.
They come for dinner tomorrow night. Yesterday I finally had the courage to give sobriety another honest go - I knew I had to do something about not allowing any alcohol in my home at this point. So I just sent them an email simply stating that I am dealing with an alcohol issue and am abstaining so please don't bring any wine to dinner. That was actually really hard to do and something I would have never been willing to do in the past. My relationship with my Aunt and Uncle is still quite new and we don't really get into personal stuff, so I felt really embarrassed to have to share this part of my life with them but if I didn't I would have been drinking wine with them tomorrow night. And I am almost through day 2 so I don't want to give that up (again).
Don't want to be in this prison anymore.
Blue
They come for dinner tomorrow night. Yesterday I finally had the courage to give sobriety another honest go - I knew I had to do something about not allowing any alcohol in my home at this point. So I just sent them an email simply stating that I am dealing with an alcohol issue and am abstaining so please don't bring any wine to dinner. That was actually really hard to do and something I would have never been willing to do in the past. My relationship with my Aunt and Uncle is still quite new and we don't really get into personal stuff, so I felt really embarrassed to have to share this part of my life with them but if I didn't I would have been drinking wine with them tomorrow night. And I am almost through day 2 so I don't want to give that up (again).
Don't want to be in this prison anymore.
Blue
Proud of you too, ben83. You did all the right things today!
It's day 70 for me. This is now the second longest period of sobriety I've had since I took that first drink back in April 1999. SR in general and my classmates in the Class of March 2016 in particular have been the difference maker for me this time. Stick close to each other, ask for help as soon as you need it, and help others as much as you can even if it's just to say "hello" or "I'm listening" to someone who's hurting. You all are doing wonderful and I look forward to continue cheering you on in our journey of recovery.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you who are struggling today. I promise it gets better with a little time and some work on our parts. Remember that you don't have to take that first drink today no matter what. It's a false solution to all of our problems.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: England
Posts: 446
Strange feeling I just want to share with you guys. After a very stressful day where I would usually get completely wasted to get through and wake up in the morning feeling a little embarrassed. I'm experiencing a similar feeling right now even though I stayed sober and didn't do anything stupid. My mind is going over the events of today picking out things where I looked a fool or said something stupid. Dealing with reality is almost as bad as the embarrassment the morning after I honestly have never felt like this before. And I don't like it my mind is all over the place. My Mrs tried to talk to me about how it went today and I snapped at her and said I don't want to talk about it. my head is just a mess at the minute I think. Seeing my family after so long was uncomfortable to say the least I didn't even recognise one of my brothers. And asked him if I was at the right place when I walked into the hotel. I said I was the grooms brother. He said "yeah me to hi Ben" how embarrassing is that. 
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: TX
Posts: 235
Originally Posted by ben83
Strange feeling I just want to share with you guys. After a very stressful day where I would usually get completely wasted to get through and wake up in the morning feeling a little embarrassed. I'm experiencing a similar feeling right now even though I stayed sober and didn't do anything stupid. My mind is going over the events of today picking out things where I looked a fool or said something stupid. Dealing with reality is almost as bad as the embarrassment the morning after I honestly have never felt like this before. And I don't like it my mind is all over the place. My Mrs tried to talk to me about how it went today and I snapped at her and said I don't want to talk about it. my head is just a mess at the minute I think. Seeing my family after so long was uncomfortable to say the least I didn't even recognise one of my brothers. And asked him if I was at the right place when I walked into the hotel. I said I was the grooms brother. He said "yeah me to hi Ben" how embarrassing is that.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Originally Posted by ben83
Strange feeling I just want to share with you guys. After a very stressful day where I would usually get completely wasted to get through and wake up in the morning feeling a little embarrassed. I'm experiencing a similar feeling right now even though I stayed sober and didn't do anything stupid. My mind is going over the events of today picking out things where I looked a fool or said something stupid. Dealing with reality is almost as bad as the embarrassment the morning after I honestly have never felt like this before. And I don't like it my mind is all over the place. My Mrs tried to talk to me about how it went today and I snapped at her and said I don't want to talk about it. my head is just a mess at the minute I think. Seeing my family after so long was uncomfortable to say the least I didn't even recognise one of my brothers. And asked him if I was at the right place when I walked into the hotel. I said I was the grooms brother. He said "yeah me to hi Ben" how embarrassing is that.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,476
Congratulations to all those who made it through Friday 
Bluejay - I'm proud of you for taking that stand
Ciongrats on day 70 Casey!
I'm glad you made it through Mcfearless - and you too Ben.
you did great Ben. Learning to socialise sober is a skill...you did well today and you;'ll do even better in times to come
The sneaky side of your AV will try and get you riled about things you did 'wrong' or felt uncomfortable with..the net stage will be to convince you that a drink to loosen up can't hurt.
Bollocks, and that goes for you too McFearless - you guys are doing well because you're not drinking - not because you suddenly gained control over alcohol. Abstinence and control are two different things.
It's the first drink that starts the trouble, not the last.
It's the engine that hits you not the caboose.
Strangeangel - I'm sorry for what you found but a drink wouldn't have helped anyway.
I hope you can talk to your husband and sort this out soon
D
Bluejay - I'm proud of you for taking that stand
Ciongrats on day 70 Casey!
I'm glad you made it through Mcfearless - and you too Ben.
you did great Ben. Learning to socialise sober is a skill...you did well today and you;'ll do even better in times to come
The sneaky side of your AV will try and get you riled about things you did 'wrong' or felt uncomfortable with..the net stage will be to convince you that a drink to loosen up can't hurt.
Bollocks, and that goes for you too McFearless - you guys are doing well because you're not drinking - not because you suddenly gained control over alcohol. Abstinence and control are two different things.
It's the first drink that starts the trouble, not the last.
It's the engine that hits you not the caboose.
Strangeangel - I'm sorry for what you found but a drink wouldn't have helped anyway.
I hope you can talk to your husband and sort this out soon
D
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 83
This is night 7 under my belt. I know how Ben feels though, I have become socially inept when I don't have a glass of alcohol in my hand to give me courage. I'm taking socializing sober one day at a time. Luckily I don't go out too much but when I do, I'm usually totally trashed at the end of the night that I have no idea who I spoke to nor what I said. This is hugely embarrassing when I apparently spent hours talking to a neighbor , promised to show them around, then cannot remember who the heck they are.... Passing them on the street and not recognizing them. Just a humiliating situation all round. But, tonight I am sober and will shortly retire to bed. Will wake up tomorrow without a hangover....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Feel rubbish. Its the middle of the night and I'm feelng anxiety all over. Staying busy with DIY is okay but I'm still just passing time. Do we get to feel happy again? Yes I know it'll get better after a while but right now I'm in pain. Don't want to drink but early sobriety is really hard and I feel like a loser..... sorry guys just having a little crisis moan xxx
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Originally Posted by Wtbaf16
This is night 7 under my belt. I know how Ben feels though, I have become socially inept when I don't have a glass of alcohol in my hand to give me courage. I'm taking socializing sober one day at a time. Luckily I don't go out too much but when I do, I'm usually totally trashed at the end of the night that I have no idea who I spoke to nor what I said. This is hugely embarrassing when I apparently spent hours talking to a neighbor , promised to show them around, then cannot remember who the heck they are.... Passing them on the street and not recognizing them. Just a humiliating situation all round. But, tonight I am sober and will shortly retire to bed. Will wake up tomorrow without a hangover....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Bath
Posts: 47
Day 4 for me.
Still early days but glad most of the physical side of things has calmed down.
The mornings are so good sober. It's amazing how much one can get done before 10am. Just wish the evenings would smooth out a little.
Still early days but glad most of the physical side of things has calmed down.
The mornings are so good sober. It's amazing how much one can get done before 10am. Just wish the evenings would smooth out a little.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 194
Originally Posted by joandmelandhan
Socially inept. Yes that's how I feel too. To the point where I'm just staying at home. Don't even feel like calling my mum which I normally do every day. From reading other posts I think it's normal (yes?) but it's still very hard. At least we have our sobriety to be proud of no matter how short it is. Take care 😊
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,476
Like I said in another thread today learning to socialise is a skill...most of us learn it as children and teenagers, some of us are better at it than others.
Some of us muddy the waters by introducing chemical agents and so we have to relearn the basic skill sober.
Like any skill it takes time to get good at it
D
Some of us muddy the waters by introducing chemical agents and so we have to relearn the basic skill sober.
Like any skill it takes time to get good at it
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 262
I'm not so into socialIzing right now either. I think it's ok. I'm just trying to keep myself safe and make it through each day. The more I'm out the more alcohol is screaming in my face. It's literally everywhere. I think it's ok to stay home and take of yourself. I'm happy being with my dogs and reading. I'll get there eventually, and if not what am I really missing out on? I don't really think a whole lot. I'm less interested in social media since I've been sober and am noticing how much I like being alone. I feel a little lonely sometimes, but I think it's good. The world is so stressful and negative and intense. By staying home I can limit that and thus limit my triggers. I get it tho. It's hard.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: England
Posts: 446
Morning gang big thanks for everyones posts yesterday they do help a lot. After yesterday I feel much better equipped to deal with my birthday on Thursday which I had in some ways assumed would be the day I would fail. But if I can get through yesterday sober I can get through anything now. Happy Sunday everyone. Feeling good for day 22.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
Good Sober Sunday, y'all...it's only my second (tomorrow is three weeks), but I already know how much calmer I will be, playing and singing for church services today, based on last week's experience.
I'm in the "no need to socialize unless absolutely necessary" camp right now. I have a best friend (seriously, not just a drinking buddy) who I haven't seen since I sobered up. We've talked, he's supportive, and respects my decision enough to stay away from my house when he's stupid drunk; I'm glad, because I didn't relish having to ask him to leave if he showed up! (But I would have...)
And alcohol really IS everywhere: very small town here (>1K population), and in the past couple of years, our only grocery store and our only gas station have both gotten their liquor license! They're just trying to keep up with the nationwide trend...gross...
Staying dry today in TinyTown,
Arp
I'm in the "no need to socialize unless absolutely necessary" camp right now. I have a best friend (seriously, not just a drinking buddy) who I haven't seen since I sobered up. We've talked, he's supportive, and respects my decision enough to stay away from my house when he's stupid drunk; I'm glad, because I didn't relish having to ask him to leave if he showed up! (But I would have...)
And alcohol really IS everywhere: very small town here (>1K population), and in the past couple of years, our only grocery store and our only gas station have both gotten their liquor license! They're just trying to keep up with the nationwide trend...gross...
Staying dry today in TinyTown,
Arp
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