Behappy1

Frick - Do you have any YouTube yoga recommendations? I have done yoga before, but want to incorporate it into my recovery. Day 8 for me!

I want to add it into my running, so I don't want something 2 hours long. The shorter the better. Great job by the way!

entropy1964

Ya know, I cannot recommend yoga (doesn't have to be hot) to anyone in recovery...especially if you're struggling with anxiety and depression. There is nothing like it to support a recovery plan, IMHO.

So my daughter calls "Mom I can't handle school today". So she's home. One of her friends is currently in the psych ward (we were there until 8pm last night) after her 3rd suicide attempt. I want to have compassion, and I do. But I do not want my kiddo associating with this gal. But my girl is smart (unlike her Mom) and she knows that this is losing deal for her so she is 'de-emphasizing' this girl. BUT it was still a rough night for her. The girls parents are Mormon (nothing against Mormons) and are just not at all equipped to handle their daughter. She is on about 4 different meds....2 benzo's. Count em 2. Horrible. She may need meds, but benzos? No. And of course that's what she od'd on. Yikes. And she drinks and smokes weed. This poor girl is only 18 and she's SOL. She talks to me because she knows I'm nuts too and can relate. Breaks my heart.

So now teenager under foot "Mom lets go shopping". GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM!. Have a great day guys.

My mantra today "Universe, show me my purpose".....while gardening!

entropy1964

Hi there
Ya know, I don't. I do use yoga journal a lot to focus on certain poses that I know I'm not doing properly...and I'll practice them over and over until I get them right. Check out Yoga Journal online and see if they recommend anything. If you are a runner and want short but effective I would look into Vinyasa flows....they focus on warrior poses, balance and strength. Work all areas of the bod and get your heart rate going. Practice adding chaturanga's between poses and that will really work your upper body. But of course don't forget the meditative poses like childs pose and corpse pose.

I love yoga so much I want everyone to experience what I do!

entropy1964

Day 9 closing. Thought it was day 8....bonus day! All good. Sugar hangover was cured in yoga, planted some new plants with my kid (who kept running around like an idiot every time she saw a wasp.....I'd look up from shoveling to see only her discarded sandals.....pretty funny), ate healthy sans sugar.

I know this sense of peace will morph into something else at some point but for now, I'm very grateful. Gnite.

fantail

Yoga Today has free daily videos, I've found some good ones there.


Frickaflip good work, glad you're hanging in!

entropy1964

Thanks Fantail. Yup hanging in just fine.

entropy1964

Day 10 in SR's most uneventful accountability thread. I feel like I should be complaining, or having some problem, or being resentful, but I'm none of those things. Pink cloud I suppose. But really, I have nothing not to be happy about. I mean, I have all the typical problems that we all face. I'm a single Mom, totally self sufficient financially and in all other ways, but I guess I'm used to that. I don't know. Life if good. I'm healthy (pretty much I think), my daughter is amazing (she was just born that way), my dogs are dorks but I love them, my cat is just an angry old man (perfect), my yard is actually looking kind of ok, my house is a dump but everything works. The weather is gorgeous, gonna be in the high 80's today. Gonna go for a run. Have a hair apt after that. Life is good.

Cravings. For me anything can make me crave. I mean there are definite physical cravings that almost always come from some other physical need. But my habituated brain says 'drink'. When really I may just be hungry, or bored, or lonely or whatever. The psychological cravings? Directly from crappy thinking. I cannot afford, at all, to let my thinking spiral. As someone with anxiety and obsessive thinking it is so easy for me to indulge (and it IS an indulgence) in negative, distorted, self defeating thinking. It is my job to change that thinking. Or if I'm worrying about something and just procrastinating, it is my job to take action. I cannot afford to engage in alcoholic thinking. It is effort and doesn't come naturally for me. But today I choose to be happy, or at least at peace, and I will not fight the world. Not my job.

Have a great day SR.

entropy1964

I was reminded today at my AA meeting of a couple of things about sharing. For those of you who know AA, most meetings (unless a speaker meeting or a big book study) are a topic discussion meeting. The person running the meeting may come with a topic or they put it to the group for someone to throw out a good topic for discussion. Today was the latter.

Anyway, in AA cross talk is not allowed. So a person can't speak directly to a previous share, for the most part. People are to share THEIR experience, strength and hope as it pertains to the topic. People share in the first person....so there is no WE or US. Its 'I' or ME. People don't give advice...you should do this, do that , do what WE do. Its 'this is what I did and this is how it helped'.

Such a powerful way to share. I know I learn best from those that share their own experience, sharing in the first person. I guess in a way it gives me a choice (as opposed to 'advice' which can feel condescending.....you know, a little) and when I share in the first person, there is ownership, accountability. And I think it helps those in the group feel less alone.

I don't know. I was just thinking about that. Hope everyone is having a good day.

entropy1964

Day 11 in soberville. Woke up bright and early...kind of a restless sleep but that's ok. Seems whenever the seasons are changing I don't sleep well. Too warm in the house or something. Not enough for AC....and I hate AC so I wait as long as possible. I think I'm an Eskimo or something...if its 45 F in the house I'm happy

Getting that sort of 'lost' feeling. My sense of purpose and direction is a little clouded. Not in the 'I want to drink' sense, but the 'wait, what?' sense. Its so silly but it helps me so much to write down, everyday, exactly what I'm going to do. Even if its completely banal stuff like 'clean out sock drawer'. I realized I haven't done that for a couple of days. So its back to the list.

No desires to drink at all. I can remember times in the past where I'd almost temp my addiction. "Hey, you there?". I'm watching The Walking Dead right now (holy crap) and its like playing with a zombie or something. Ok, rambling. I know better....Just leave that zombie alone, deprived of its sustenance. Wonder if the zombie ever dies? Probably not. It just lays there in suspended animation waiting for its moment to strike. Yikes.

So hot yoga at 8am. Gardening. Housework. Errands. Kiddo coming home probably around 4pm. Think I'll take her to dinner.

I have an impending visit to the family in July. The scene of the crime, ground zero, the source of evil. Haha. Masterminds of the zombie. I'll have to start mentally preparing for that. My poor ole Mom forgets, every time, that I have no relationship with one of my brothers (she has forgotten that he molested me) and always says 'oh we'll have to call....'. Good lord. I don't even remind her anymore, haven't for years. Last time I did she called me a sick liar. Nice! Just the mention of his name can send me into a ptsd episode. I have to secure my boundaries and walls for the onslaught. If I do that I'm ok. Its when I forget to put on my Kevlar. That's when I'm in danger.

Have a great, sober day.

thomas11

Thinking of you Frick, sounds like a good day is planned. You'll be ready for the family thing. You're already preparing. Smart.

entropy1964

Thanks Thomas/Jeff It'll be a good day. Yoga kicked my arse this AM....it was 110 in the room...simply too hot but I know as an instructor its hard to control the heat. Lots of smelly people...too much garlic and beer last night for many. Its funny how I can smell the alcohol on people. Bleck.

I hope your job hunting is going well. You are getting a life! Good on ya.

PennyLane76

You are doing great Fric. Day 3 again here after a nasty binge . I read your posts start to finish. Your progession day by day gives me hope.

entropy1964

Aw Sadie I'm sorry. And thanks for the support. Gawd I just don't ever want to go through withdrawal again. Duh. Who does? That is the insanity of my drinking. I hope you are doing ok.....day 3 is great.

Right now I have a wasp in my house. My daughter gets home in a couple of hours and she'll freak! Grrrrr. I hate bugs that sting. So that's as bad as it gets today! Maybe I'll call the fire dept. Maybe I'll get the same hot guys that watched me hacking uncontrollably 11 days ago. Haha. Just kidding. Would be nice to see those guys, who were so nice, when I don't look like I just crawled out of a gutter. Ahhh, memories ��

Wolfbane

Utterly defeated sounds like where I'm at. I am fine during the week but binge on Friday and feel shame and regret the next day. Rinse, repeat.

Dee74

What are you guys going to do differently this time?

D

Sodifficult

Oh honey, do I feel you. In the same boat. ((((Hugs))))

entropy1964

Well I guess it's time to quit huh? 11 days ago I simply had no choice. It was quit or die.....or worse, lose my mind completely. If you are that defeated, you will quit. You can do it.

entropy1964

Hi Sodiff
Are you trying to quit? I'm sorry you're hurting.....

entropy1964

So day 11 closing. Really fighting sugar cravings which ticks me off but that's ok. I know what to do but man I can eat Nutella like it's going to be discontinued or something. "What else can I put Nutella on?" She thinks as she stands in front of the pantry, spoon in hand.......

Ok so I got a PM from a person who will remain anonymous. The question was basically, when I say I'm a hot yoga instructor am I saying I'm a 'hot', as in an attractive, yoga instructor? Hahahaha. Belly laugh out loud! No. What that means is I teach yoga in a hot azz room. Ok. So in case there was any confusion there.....my dogs do stare at me all the time so I'm pretty sure I'm hot, at least in my dogs' eyes. Ok I think I need to shut up now.

Gnite.

KarleenM

"Its so silly but it helps me so much to write down, everyday, exactly what I'm going to do. Even if its completely banal stuff like 'clean out sock drawer'." Writing down lists is not silly. It helps me, the unfocused, get a little bit of focus and structure. Today, I wrote down a list of things to accomplish which I got halfway through. It helped. the other part of my list was more of using my brain to write a resume and go through finances, both of which I didn't really want to do. But tomorrow those get done. Lists are good.