I am utterly defeated
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I've decided to try something new with this attempt at sobriety. I tend to lean toward the negative so I've decided to challenge myself with checking in each night with something positive and what I am grateful for. It is the end of yet another day 3 for me and I am Grateful to wake up in the morning not hung over and I am grateful that without the alcohol I am Less depressed and able to clean my house. That's it for tonight. Thanks for listening.
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That's great idea Lost! Gratitude is really important. I remember, years ago, times when I'd be so pissed off that I couldn't drink. I thought "Gratitude, screw that"! Always feeling so sorry for myself. But I now know that were there is gratitude, resentment has little fuel to grow. There is ALWAYS something, if not many things, to be grateful for.
Have a great day.
Have a great day.
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I woke up this AM at 6:15 thinking, why didn't my alarm go off? Shoot I only have an hour before leaving for yoga. Gotta slam the coffee and get moving.....then remembered I needed to turn the clock back....ah that's why my alarm didn't go off. So I woke at 5:15....perfecto. Now I can take my time.
Have a happy Sunday SR. Feeling good and its supposed to be a nice day! Yay.
Have a happy Sunday SR. Feeling good and its supposed to be a nice day! Yay.
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What a beautiful day today is. Sun is shinning. Practiced yoga, did house work. Now dog walk.
I had my tests done yesterday. Geez I don't remember so much pain 7 years ago. And I was just kind of maxed out yesterday. It hurt to move around so I just parked it on the couch. I actually watched Dr. Phil. But by 8pm or so I was feeling much better and today I'm right as rain. I won't have results for 7-10 days so its the waiting game. So I am resigned to not fret, worry, feel sorry for myself, whine and complain. What good does it do but put stress on my body, which then in turn compromises my immune system. And a strong immune response is pretty darn important right now. I realized that by letting go of all the crap I can't control I really do feel better. There is almost a 'high' in getting all worked up and feeling sorry for myself. But that is sick thinking and I cannot afford that. Plus, I want to be happy. I don't want to be all stressed out. So after saying to my HP 'Thy will be done' I felt better. Not immediately but after a couple of days. Cool deal.
Daughter is home sick. Poor kid. Well have a great day sr..think I'm 83 days today. Yay.
I had my tests done yesterday. Geez I don't remember so much pain 7 years ago. And I was just kind of maxed out yesterday. It hurt to move around so I just parked it on the couch. I actually watched Dr. Phil. But by 8pm or so I was feeling much better and today I'm right as rain. I won't have results for 7-10 days so its the waiting game. So I am resigned to not fret, worry, feel sorry for myself, whine and complain. What good does it do but put stress on my body, which then in turn compromises my immune system. And a strong immune response is pretty darn important right now. I realized that by letting go of all the crap I can't control I really do feel better. There is almost a 'high' in getting all worked up and feeling sorry for myself. But that is sick thinking and I cannot afford that. Plus, I want to be happy. I don't want to be all stressed out. So after saying to my HP 'Thy will be done' I felt better. Not immediately but after a couple of days. Cool deal.
Daughter is home sick. Poor kid. Well have a great day sr..think I'm 83 days today. Yay.
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Yeah it did go by fast Jeff. Creepy really.
So I picked up my 90 day chip at AA today. For those who don't know its customary to pass the chip around and everyone gives it some mojo or something (germs maybe? JK). Well about 10 minutes before the meeting is ending I'm thinking "where's my chip?". I didn't really know what to do so I just mutter to the guy next to me 'I wonder where my chip is?'. So he pipes up and says 'who's got the 90 day chip?'. Everyone is kind of ackwardly laughing and looking around. No chip. So I get another one, which seemed kinda weird. Meeting closes. This girl, who I've seen often, comes over to me and sort of says in a mousie voice "the chip fell in my lap and I didn't know what to do with it". Walks away. Still no chip. So I follow her thinking she wants me to, ya now to get the fricken chip, and she just sort of ignores me. I say to her 'uh did you want to give it to me?'. She kind of freaks out, grabs her purse, fishes it out and gives it to me. I'm like, what was that? I handed the chip back to the chip lady, having gotten a replacement anyway. Geez I wish she had just said she wanted my damn chip.....it was so confusing....not to mention weird. She's been in the program for years. She knows the deal with the chips. She just really musta wanted my chip. Haha. It was hilarious.....and creepy. Gotta love AA.
So I picked up my 90 day chip at AA today. For those who don't know its customary to pass the chip around and everyone gives it some mojo or something (germs maybe? JK). Well about 10 minutes before the meeting is ending I'm thinking "where's my chip?". I didn't really know what to do so I just mutter to the guy next to me 'I wonder where my chip is?'. So he pipes up and says 'who's got the 90 day chip?'. Everyone is kind of ackwardly laughing and looking around. No chip. So I get another one, which seemed kinda weird. Meeting closes. This girl, who I've seen often, comes over to me and sort of says in a mousie voice "the chip fell in my lap and I didn't know what to do with it". Walks away. Still no chip. So I follow her thinking she wants me to, ya now to get the fricken chip, and she just sort of ignores me. I say to her 'uh did you want to give it to me?'. She kind of freaks out, grabs her purse, fishes it out and gives it to me. I'm like, what was that? I handed the chip back to the chip lady, having gotten a replacement anyway. Geez I wish she had just said she wanted my damn chip.....it was so confusing....not to mention weird. She's been in the program for years. She knows the deal with the chips. She just really musta wanted my chip. Haha. It was hilarious.....and creepy. Gotta love AA.
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Hi Phoenix
Well I used to love drinking. It's the pesky alcoholism that sucks
. But seriously, yes it does hurt. But there's a solution right? There's hope. I just don't drink.....simple. Not always easy!
Well I used to love drinking. It's the pesky alcoholism that sucks
. But seriously, yes it does hurt. But there's a solution right? There's hope. I just don't drink.....simple. Not always easy!
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Nope. Not like I'm going to ask her. I told my sponsor about it because I thought it was funny and she said that this gal is just a bit different. Hey, different strokes for different folks. I just thought it was really funny!
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