Journey of Hope
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
Thanks so much!
I am working myself up to the strength again.
I once had 3 months free of cocaine but had a relapse and almost got stuck back in the nasty arms of addiction. The cycle started over again but i was able to step off and kick the gear out of drive.
I'm here again and embracing sobriety with all that I have in me. Meetings are working too. I'm so fortunate that I am getting out of this terrible storm and into the warm arms of recovery.
I'm grateful that I did not die while out there using.
I am working myself up to the strength again.
I once had 3 months free of cocaine but had a relapse and almost got stuck back in the nasty arms of addiction. The cycle started over again but i was able to step off and kick the gear out of drive.
I'm here again and embracing sobriety with all that I have in me. Meetings are working too. I'm so fortunate that I am getting out of this terrible storm and into the warm arms of recovery.
I'm grateful that I did not die while out there using.
old enough to know BETTER!!!!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 396
the fierce CONTROL of that drug!
I'm grateful that I did not die while out there using
that drug is evil. It has control over you .... and more you have, the more you want.
Good for you that you're going to meetings. Atleast you are doing something positive and HELPFUL for yourself. I haven't yet taken that second step. I've only taken a BABY step .... admitting I'm an addict!
Yes, I too, do not know how I survived my highs from that drug .... all I can say, is that there has to be SOMEONE WATCHING OVER US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs to ya!
Keep up the great work!
that drug is evil. It has control over you .... and more you have, the more you want.
Good for you that you're going to meetings. Atleast you are doing something positive and HELPFUL for yourself. I haven't yet taken that second step. I've only taken a BABY step .... admitting I'm an addict!
Yes, I too, do not know how I survived my highs from that drug .... all I can say, is that there has to be SOMEONE WATCHING OVER US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs to ya!
Keep up the great work!
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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Posts: 3,384
Originally Posted by beginanewme
I haven't yet taken that second step. I've only taken a BABY step .... admitting I'm an addict!
It isn't easy, but so worth it to jump into recovery. A whole new life is waiting.
BIG HUGS FOR YOU! Keep walking this wonderful journey and know that we are all here for you.
-Love, Hope
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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Posts: 3,384
So full of gratitude today...
I think for the first time, I feel like I can actually do this program.
It is simple.
Meetings, use phone numbers, DON'T PICK UP NO MATTER WHAT, always remember that no matter how bad things are, picking up will only make it worse. And no matter how appealing that first drink/drug looks, IT IS ONLY DECEPTION.
I will read the Big Book and LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN. Like someone told me once, "JUST SHUTUP AND LISTEN." But I thought I knew it all then, landed right back on my @ss. So here I go again, with my head held up and ears fully open. I'm ready to take on this new journey.
And I don't need to use to have fun. There is so much more to life than that.
I don't know what happened to me today, but I am overcome with positive hopes for my next days..
Kinda really nice, to feel a little bit better.
I think for the first time, I feel like I can actually do this program.
It is simple.
Meetings, use phone numbers, DON'T PICK UP NO MATTER WHAT, always remember that no matter how bad things are, picking up will only make it worse. And no matter how appealing that first drink/drug looks, IT IS ONLY DECEPTION.
I will read the Big Book and LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN. Like someone told me once, "JUST SHUTUP AND LISTEN." But I thought I knew it all then, landed right back on my @ss. So here I go again, with my head held up and ears fully open. I'm ready to take on this new journey.
And I don't need to use to have fun. There is so much more to life than that.
I don't know what happened to me today, but I am overcome with positive hopes for my next days..
Kinda really nice, to feel a little bit better.
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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Posts: 3,384
I'm trying to get myself out there for a nice 30 minute run but I'm apparently lazy today. hehe. I have to get out there,,, ahhh...........I'm so tired, LOL. been trying to get enough sleep at night.
I wake up all hours of the night and then have to go back to bed. I've been clean for 5 days now and tomorrow will be 6. Yay, this better be the last time I detox from my poison.............don't want no more..................NO.
LOVE, LIVE, DREAM
I wake up all hours of the night and then have to go back to bed. I've been clean for 5 days now and tomorrow will be 6. Yay, this better be the last time I detox from my poison.............don't want no more..................NO.
LOVE, LIVE, DREAM
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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It is 7:13 on this beautiful evening and my cravings are horrible. I want to use SOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad... but I won't..
I just wish the cravings would go away. My addict voice is talking loudly to me speaking lies to my mind. I won't use but this is very uncomfortable having to go thru.
I HATE BEING AN ADDICT!!!!!!! :mad
Ok, I just had to vent. I'm staying clean a minute at a time now....grrr..this is horrible.
I just wish the cravings would go away. My addict voice is talking loudly to me speaking lies to my mind. I won't use but this is very uncomfortable having to go thru.
I HATE BEING AN ADDICT!!!!!!! :mad Ok, I just had to vent. I'm staying clean a minute at a time now....grrr..this is horrible.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
It helps me to play the tape all the way through.How will I feel after I use?When I come down?The guilt,depression,etc.What other consequences will come from using? Personally for myself,I can think of plenty.What good will come from using? For me,NOT A DAMN THING! So,I choose to end my day today clean and sober.If I can do it.So can you Hope.
Keep on keepin on.One day at a time.Play that tape through,cravings will come and go.Second chances wont always be there.
If I can do it.So can you Hope. Keep on keepin on.One day at a time.Play that tape through,cravings will come and go.Second chances wont always be there.
being me
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 252
New to all this
Hi Hope,
I am still new to this site and have not posted yet. I have been reading your thread for a few months now, and I know you have a lot of strength. I think you are an amazing person, and I wish you well on your journey.
I am having a rough morning. I have managed to quit smoking pot for 15 days, but then the drinking starts to become a problem. I thought I was keeping it at bay, but I really need a day 1 without the drinking. I will work on this today. The journey is so tough, but I am glad to not be stoned 24/7, and now i need to focus on not drinking every night. I am not hung over, but I feel bad today.... Irritable, dissapointed and the like...
Everyone on this site is such a blessing, and your journey is inspiring, I hope this thread can stay alive.
~need a full day 1~
I am still new to this site and have not posted yet. I have been reading your thread for a few months now, and I know you have a lot of strength. I think you are an amazing person, and I wish you well on your journey.
I am having a rough morning. I have managed to quit smoking pot for 15 days, but then the drinking starts to become a problem. I thought I was keeping it at bay, but I really need a day 1 without the drinking. I will work on this today. The journey is so tough, but I am glad to not be stoned 24/7, and now i need to focus on not drinking every night. I am not hung over, but I feel bad today.... Irritable, dissapointed and the like...
Everyone on this site is such a blessing, and your journey is inspiring, I hope this thread can stay alive.
~need a full day 1~
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
Welcome grrrr!!!!!
For me i had to accept i'm an addict, nothing I do is going to change it...only a ham i cured...
next came surrender....one day at a time
just for today don't drink and drug!!!
you're worth the fight!!!!
and yes it is a tough journey...hardest thing i've ever done in my life...but i want to live!!!! But it's sooo worth it!!!! I promise!!
\\// Wendy
For me i had to accept i'm an addict, nothing I do is going to change it...only a ham i cured...
next came surrender....one day at a time
just for today don't drink and drug!!!
you're worth the fight!!!!
and yes it is a tough journey...hardest thing i've ever done in my life...but i want to live!!!! But it's sooo worth it!!!! I promise!!
\\// Wendy
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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Hey, I'm just getting this out of the basement. Whew, I got some cobwebs, LOL!!
I am exhausted today and still trying to push myself probably a little too hard..trying to stop that though. Happy to be back in the land of the living..
I am exhausted today and still trying to push myself probably a little too hard..trying to stop that though. Happy to be back in the land of the living..
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
hi Hope!!!!!!!!!
you've been very missed here!!!!
I saw your reply on my how to love yourself thread...are you ok??!!
Glad to see you back my friend, like i saw in a reply on here,,,instead of keep coming back, why not just stay??
hugs & hugs, Wendy
you've been very missed here!!!!
I saw your reply on my how to love yourself thread...are you ok??!!
Glad to see you back my friend, like i saw in a reply on here,,,instead of keep coming back, why not just stay??
hugs & hugs, Wendy
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
Day 1
Ok, so back at the start. But, I am not going to let this get me down.
I want to feel better soon but I want to remember how painful I am feeling at the moment.
Shaking, aches & pains is parts of my body that I didn't even know I had, major depression, rollercoaster emotions, nausea, upset stomach, exhaustion, insomnia, mental fog, and more.
So, that short term high was not worth all of this. If you are thinking of going back out there, DON'T DO IT!!
Ok, so back at the start. But, I am not going to let this get me down.
I want to feel better soon but I want to remember how painful I am feeling at the moment.
Shaking, aches & pains is parts of my body that I didn't even know I had, major depression, rollercoaster emotions, nausea, upset stomach, exhaustion, insomnia, mental fog, and more.
So, that short term high was not worth all of this. If you are thinking of going back out there, DON'T DO IT!!
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
Note to self:
No matter how much I try to beautify (is that even a word??) how it would feel to use and how good it would feel to escape from my problems,
I will always remember how the end result will be and will not give in.
No matter how much it hurts to go thru those cravings, I have to remember how much it hurts to go thru withdrawals.
I can put it this way: I can either suffer thru cravings or withdrawals.
The cravings are unpleasant, but will pass soon after they begin. Withdrawals ARE A thousand times worth than cravings and take longer to suffer thru.
I JUST HAVE TO REMEMBER THE PAIN THAT USING DRUGS WILL LEAD TO. I don't want to buy a ticket on that train.
No matter how much I try to beautify (is that even a word??) how it would feel to use and how good it would feel to escape from my problems,
I will always remember how the end result will be and will not give in.
No matter how much it hurts to go thru those cravings, I have to remember how much it hurts to go thru withdrawals.
I can put it this way: I can either suffer thru cravings or withdrawals.
The cravings are unpleasant, but will pass soon after they begin. Withdrawals ARE A thousand times worth than cravings and take longer to suffer thru.
I JUST HAVE TO REMEMBER THE PAIN THAT USING DRUGS WILL LEAD TO. I don't want to buy a ticket on that train.
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