PeacefulRain

nmd that was awesome!!! I literally LOL!

Day 4, I'm just finishing up my morning coffee. I'm hoping to finish up the Everest sized mountain of laundry I let pile up. We were all on the verge of being nudists! Also hoping to get my kitchen back in order. My kids have sports tonight then we will be going out for dinner. Yay a night off from cooking! I hope you all have a great day!!

Bobbieka

Wish I could take credit for 2 weeks sober. Today will be my 8th day in a row. Longest since.....I don't really know. Years. The dreams are weird. I didn't know that was a normal thing. The sleep has been deep. My family seems hopeful yet hesitant. I don't blame them. Every day I'm earning more trust. This morning I got up, took care of the dogs, trash and dishes before work. 2 weeks ago, I stumbled out of bed, threw up and barely made it to work. I'm not sure what was stopping me before, a fear of letting go of the alcohol. But I'm so glad I finally made the leap. SR has really saved my life.

Siesta

Hi everyone. Checking in on day 3. Day 2 was a tough one but I made it through. It wasn't that I was wanting to drink yesterday, but I just felt depressed all day. I'm not very mobile because of a back injury about a week ago and it's still keeping me from exercise. The most I'm able to do is walk the dogs (slowly). Exercise has always helped my mood so I'm struggling without it. Even housework is difficult. Thinking of seeing a doctor but not sure what they could do anyway. I'm usually good at being positive and grateful and the fact that I'm not able to get there right now is also depressing to me. Ugh, sorry to vent.

Hope everyone is doing well.
Incontrol, thanks for the HALT tip.
Welcome to all the newcomers.

KiKi0615

Well crap! Day 1 again. It's crazy...this disease has a mind of its own!!! I was at the post office yesterday morning & all of a sudden I had a craving, drove to buy beer, drank it & went to a bar like "oh well...who cares!" REALLY?!?

I need to change my plan!!! I'm like Jeckle & Hyde!

I'm not giving up...just need to build some momentum! It's like every 3-5 days I crash & burn again. It's exhausting & getting old! :-(

Hope everyone else is doing better than me,

lein

I'm like Jeckyle and Hyde too Kiki. I can easily seperate the "drunk me" from the "sober me"...but it's the bloody sober me that buys me the drink to get drunk with!!??
1stepup..I know this work programme is a killer! I go in 4 days a week to clean an office that doesn't need cleaning..spend the whole day alone. Monday mornings I sign on, Monday afternoon is 5 hours enforced "jobsearch" at a centre and I have to do another jobsearch on a Saturday...If you need to be absent, you have to ring up before you are due at the place..so cant do that...and Ive already used my 2 "sick" times up (one when they made me take a sick day to go to the dentist!). This life is so depressing..and YES I do often get drunk just to get to these depressing places...At least when they sanction me..I won't have any money at all...so won't be able to buy drink haha..or food for that matter come to think about it..I'll have to get a voucher for the food bank! Fun...the amount of crap I get myself into while drinking defies belief.

Surrender2win

Congrats on Day 9! I should check into AA meetings to get the face-to-face support lacking at home. Hubby is a drinker and I think he misses his drinking buddy more than anything.

It would be nice to have face-to-face support along with the online support from everyone here.

Surrender2win

Sucks doesn't it? Just remember that you should never become too comfortable with sobriety in the early days/months. It does help though when we realize we're not alone in this.

Surrender2win

Great job on 8 days! SR has been a lifesaver for me too.

lein

It's 8 o'clock and I'm off to bed on this awful Day 1. I'll probably be awake and sweating all night, hearing music that isn't really there and hoping I don't die in my sleep. I wonder why I don't think about the "coming down" part when I start a binge? At least this time I don't need to go to hospital...that is THE ultimate shame..walking into A&E and admiting that you have been drinking yourself stupid, and "can I have some pills please so I don't have a siezure while I am detoxing"

Surrender2win

(((lein))) Hope you feel better tomorrow.

nmd

I've had those moments, glad you came right back.

Plans have everything to do with those moments of unexpected cravings. Cravings will come, but how are you going to act when they come?

I do think momentum comes with time, but we have to get some sober time first. The first couple months I think really take a lot of work. Stick with us!

Anna

Lein, there is so much shame attached to alcoholism that it destroys our souls. I'm glad you are here on Day 1 and getting through it. You can be the person you want to be.

Kiki, what can you do to change or add to your plan? What can you do next time you get a craving?

Siesta, sorry about your back injury but good that you can walk the dogs slowly so at least you can get out. Is there anything you are doing to help your back heal?

nmd

feel better tomorrow lein!

MovingForward1

Hi class! Made it through a day at work, back home safe and sober. Lots of drinking thoughts today which is CRAZY considering how I felt less than 24 hours ago. I need to change, not just Not Drink, but change. Something to ponder.

Keets

Made it to another aa meeting today, was a little different if was a big book aa meeting which I really didn't know what that ment. Well I was a little shy and Sint read but maybe I will in the near future. I need to keep on track though so the new experiences may benefit me. Not a big talker so defenatly out of my comfort zone. Nobody is forcing me to go but I feel if I go I may stay on track a little better.
So what now? I keep coming on here and chatting but day 9 the craving for a buzz is getting to me. I can't put my life on hold to talk about it all night I need to figure something out.
Like everyone kph saying I need a plan I suck at that I can't follow through with much and don't have any hobbies so not sure where to do from here

Dee74

OK I just lost my post so I'm liable to miss out names but welcome or welcome back Chinaski, Surrender2win, Elizke, Facing Future, Kiki, Magnetic and ColoradoMan

A big congrats to anyone hitting a milestone today too

D

ralatty

closing out Day 3 here!!

Missy7

Hang in there Kiki. I am another one who has gone back-and-forth many times. And I completely understand what you're going through. It is a very very difficult disease. But keep coming back, no matter what. I think it's the attempt that matters. If we don't try to stop, then we've completely given in.

I somehow forgot to post this morning, but I have now finished day 10. I feel terrific. I have gotten a couple of prescriptions to help me. My doctor was absolutely fabulous. I have never been so impressed with the doctor my life. She actually had always refused to give me sleep aids, but this time she said that obviously I needed them since I was self-medicating. And I'm telling you, having something to help you sleep seems to reduce cravings. I know that if it gets difficult in the evening I can just take my sleeping pill. That might sound like another kind of cop out, and maybe it is. But it has always been hard on me that I don't sleep all night long. I sleep one or two hours but I'm up for one or two that I sleep for one or two. It's stressful and part of the cycle it I got into because of the drinking.

But tonight was my group meeting, I was late because of traffic, but I was really glad to be there and I think that Sharing this ride with others is very important.

Mrskw

Hello everyone I hope you are all well.

I'd really like to stick with this March class!

lein

Hi everyone..made it through the night (obviously, or I wouldn't be sitting here typing) Surrender, nmd, Anna thanks for your thoughts.
Anna, you are right about the shame being soul destroying, I have suffered hallucinations before and would rather take my chances than go to the hospital and ask for help. I don't even think the visual ones were as bad as the time I had autidtory ones and had to "listen" to Disney movie tunes in my head for hours!
I just read "Under the Influence" and that book makes lots of sense to me.
That alcoholics aren't "character flawed" or "morally bankrupt" or any "weaker" than the next person..until they begin losing control to alcohol.
I know lots of "morally bankrupt, character flawed" people who never drank.
The book makes sense to me in that alcoholics have one simple "flaw" as compared to "normal" people. Our livers cannot proccess the ethanol that is alcohol properly, I won't go into a massive biology lesson, the book explains how.
And, reckon these sceintists..that is why alcoholism is a physiological disease..and its been proven, not a psychological one..and therapy can make things worse!
This fact is useful to me because I know I will NOT, by sheer willpower be able to make my inherited "liver glich" work normally. I will NEVER be able to process ethanol properly. It doesn't matter how many times I try it...the accumulation of acetaldehyde in my blood that my liver can't break down will ALWAYS make my brain malfunciton when I drink and I will ALWAYS drink more and more once I start.
It strikes true to me anyway
Stay strong everyone (and me haha)