Relapse Prevention Weekender Dec 18 Part 2
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,810
Thank you everyone. Holy c r a p this has been a challenging couple of days. Tomorrow I need to shift gears toward Christmas, which has fallen by the wayside. I don't have tons to do, but enough that I might not just wallow all day. Goodnight, all. I'm so very very grateful you are here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Well today is going to be fun - was woken at 2.45 and wide awake, wife was too - we decided to watch a movie but I was still wide eyed throughout, wife back to sleep and no work today, I've been reading here etc for the last hour and a half now starting to feel tired again but up for work in 15 mins - in laws arrive today for Christmas which will be good but have a feeling I may not be the most attentive and chatty later tonight, will make the effort tho - shattered now !!
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, gang.
Fell aspeep immediately yesterday, though had the worst posssible nightmare - saw my brother and his wife. Yep, he is my worst possible nightmare. Long story and my worst soul-wounds.
Cold turned into coughing, need to do something to prevent its futher development. Cant gargle sage tea at work, so just drinking it) blah.
Made it at work at little it earlier - progress, not perfection.
Still unbelievably worm here - more like end of March. But I checked forecast - it threatens with -25C on January 1. Yeeeek.
Going to catch up with ypur posts during breaks at work. I had time for a couple of posts in the morning - Ih, I have a lot to say about nosy people and no kinds topics.
See you later.
Fell aspeep immediately yesterday, though had the worst posssible nightmare - saw my brother and his wife. Yep, he is my worst possible nightmare. Long story and my worst soul-wounds.
Cold turned into coughing, need to do something to prevent its futher development. Cant gargle sage tea at work, so just drinking it) blah.
Made it at work at little it earlier - progress, not perfection.
Still unbelievably worm here - more like end of March. But I checked forecast - it threatens with -25C on January 1. Yeeeek.
Going to catch up with ypur posts during breaks at work. I had time for a couple of posts in the morning - Ih, I have a lot to say about nosy people and no kinds topics.
See you later.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,235
Beautiful morning here in London
Whew! So much to catch up on. Marty, what MM said about being prepared, as much as you can be, is good advice. Maybe get the police phone number on speedily (I don't mean 911). Hopefully he won't be able to spoil your Xmas
Really enjoyed last night at the Clove Club. Some people were ordering bottles of wine in the £50+ range so I was super glad not to be drinking when the bill was settled
World's luckiest skier
Whew! So much to catch up on. Marty, what MM said about being prepared, as much as you can be, is good advice. Maybe get the police phone number on speedily (I don't mean 911). Hopefully he won't be able to spoil your Xmas
Really enjoyed last night at the Clove Club. Some people were ordering bottles of wine in the £50+ range so I was super glad not to be drinking when the bill was settled
World's luckiest skier
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
Good for you, Sao. Glad you enjoyed yourself and the night wasn't as expensive as it might have been (in more ways than one) :-)
We're watching 'Making a Murderer.' The pilot is on youtube and the rest on Netflix. So far it's brilliant, if you can withstand the whole 'gross miscarriage of justice' thing. That aspect is hard to watch.
We're watching 'Making a Murderer.' The pilot is on youtube and the rest on Netflix. So far it's brilliant, if you can withstand the whole 'gross miscarriage of justice' thing. That aspect is hard to watch.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Domhan
Posts: 1,974
Morning all!
My, what a lot to catch up on this morning!! I hope everyone is well.
Get well soon HAF - plenty of rest and hot liquids are the order of the day.
Sorry to hear you have had a bad run of events Marty. Well done on managing a frighting situation really well. Lots of good keep safe advice given here, some of which I will consider adopting. I do keep a "hurley" stick at home, a tool I could handle with considerable dexterity when I was younger. I do like the idea of having bug spray to hand.
I hope everyone else is keeping well?
We had a difficult evening and night. I think junior has a build up of erratic bumtrons in his digestive system, which he figured that constantly feeding and squirming would placate. We are all exhausted. Just need to get through today and get all the Christmas shopping done.
A sleep deprived Pop's doing the Christmas shopping alone - what could possibly go wrong? What child, male or female, or Adult for that matter, not love some Star Wars paraphernalia? Mrs B will be beside herself with the surprise.
The sky is threatening blue, but storm Eva is on the horizon.
I can't see or post tunes in work, blast.
B
My, what a lot to catch up on this morning!! I hope everyone is well.
Get well soon HAF - plenty of rest and hot liquids are the order of the day.
Sorry to hear you have had a bad run of events Marty. Well done on managing a frighting situation really well. Lots of good keep safe advice given here, some of which I will consider adopting. I do keep a "hurley" stick at home, a tool I could handle with considerable dexterity when I was younger. I do like the idea of having bug spray to hand.
I hope everyone else is keeping well?
We had a difficult evening and night. I think junior has a build up of erratic bumtrons in his digestive system, which he figured that constantly feeding and squirming would placate. We are all exhausted. Just need to get through today and get all the Christmas shopping done.
A sleep deprived Pop's doing the Christmas shopping alone - what could possibly go wrong? What child, male or female, or Adult for that matter, not love some Star Wars paraphernalia? Mrs B will be beside herself with the surprise.
The sky is threatening blue, but storm Eva is on the horizon.
I can't see or post tunes in work, blast.
B
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
Originally Posted by Behan 
A sleep deprived Pop's doing the Christmas shopping alone - what could possibly go wrong? What child, male or female, or Adult for that matter, not love some Star Wars paraphernalia? Mrs B will be beside herself with the surprise.
B
I hope the digestive bumtrons settle down and you guys manage to get a bit of kip (sleep, in case anyone is wondering). It's a tiring but wonderful Christmas :-)
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,810
Good morning, peeps!
Not going to text Don today. Okay, so he does have a name. Normally, we texted each other first thing in the morning. Reached for my phone upon waking, out of habit. We will see what he does.
I signed up for a service that will call me when SIL is released from jail. So I'll know if I need to be on the lookout. Went over again with my son the procedure to follow if he shows up at our house when I'm not home. Call the police, lock himself in his room, call me. He can't get in to the house without breaking in. I changed locks and all that. So fingers crossed for an uneventful Christmas.
Not going to text Don today. Okay, so he does have a name. Normally, we texted each other first thing in the morning. Reached for my phone upon waking, out of habit. We will see what he does.
I signed up for a service that will call me when SIL is released from jail. So I'll know if I need to be on the lookout. Went over again with my son the procedure to follow if he shows up at our house when I'm not home. Call the police, lock himself in his room, call me. He can't get in to the house without breaking in. I changed locks and all that. So fingers crossed for an uneventful Christmas.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, all.
The Internet on the phone had mercy and let me logged in after lunch. Not feeling cool - cold is sitll taking toll on me and I am exhausted.
Speaking of nosy people. A colleague just asked me why I wash banana and tangerine since I will peel them anyway. Because I want it like this , for crying outloud. But that is a light stuff.
I got scared with nosy people as a kid when other kids started asking me where was my Daddy. Some girl , whom I honestly answered that he died, shot another question "Oh, is he in a coffin".
Oh, kids, for sure. I especially like when i do something that other people think they "dont have time or whaterver" for , here goes an inevitable question "Do you have kids? No? Ohm that surely explains all".
Among other things - some poky elderly people who question me about my parents , and when they get to know they are both gone , gave their "opinion" - Oh, that is bad. WTF?
I remember somewhat 6 months after my mother died, we paid visit to the ex's parents. Anticipating all kinds of question I distinctly asked him to talk to them and explain that I was having very hard time emotionally and had no intentions at all to discuss anything related to this. So we are having dinner. Everything was ok. My ex went out to have a smoke. His mother - nice lady overall - making small talk with me and then asking why I decided didnt bury my mother at the same cemetery as my father. curtain, please.
See you all, weekenders.
The Internet on the phone had mercy and let me logged in after lunch. Not feeling cool - cold is sitll taking toll on me and I am exhausted.
Speaking of nosy people. A colleague just asked me why I wash banana and tangerine since I will peel them anyway. Because I want it like this , for crying outloud. But that is a light stuff.
I got scared with nosy people as a kid when other kids started asking me where was my Daddy. Some girl , whom I honestly answered that he died, shot another question "Oh, is he in a coffin".
Oh, kids, for sure. I especially like when i do something that other people think they "dont have time or whaterver" for , here goes an inevitable question "Do you have kids? No? Ohm that surely explains all".
Among other things - some poky elderly people who question me about my parents , and when they get to know they are both gone , gave their "opinion" - Oh, that is bad. WTF?
I remember somewhat 6 months after my mother died, we paid visit to the ex's parents. Anticipating all kinds of question I distinctly asked him to talk to them and explain that I was having very hard time emotionally and had no intentions at all to discuss anything related to this. So we are having dinner. Everything was ok. My ex went out to have a smoke. His mother - nice lady overall - making small talk with me and then asking why I decided didnt bury my mother at the same cemetery as my father. curtain, please.
See you all, weekenders.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I am having a very emotional week. Sucks to be honest. But only if I let it.
You probably know I like to write to sooth myself. Rather than post a new thread I just figured I would share here.
I am rather young to think that so much c r a p has happened in my life that it has left no room for doubt that we come into this world alone and we leave it alone.... Alone.
Do we create loneliness or is it a by product of something unseen in us? An invisible wall where people can see in and I can see out, but light bends somehow where I become invisible the closer one comes to me. That seems to make sense should I choose to accept it.
Drinking and drugs has left a desolate landscape. Like a forest fire that chars it cannot fully destroy. It merely changes. Life lies beneath. It just takes decades to come back. I don't have that kind of time.
I surrender to that which is and be thankful I came out of my stupor when I did. I guess time will tell if it was too late or not. We shall see.
You probably know I like to write to sooth myself. Rather than post a new thread I just figured I would share here.
I am rather young to think that so much c r a p has happened in my life that it has left no room for doubt that we come into this world alone and we leave it alone.... Alone.
Do we create loneliness or is it a by product of something unseen in us? An invisible wall where people can see in and I can see out, but light bends somehow where I become invisible the closer one comes to me. That seems to make sense should I choose to accept it.
Drinking and drugs has left a desolate landscape. Like a forest fire that chars it cannot fully destroy. It merely changes. Life lies beneath. It just takes decades to come back. I don't have that kind of time.
I surrender to that which is and be thankful I came out of my stupor when I did. I guess time will tell if it was too late or not. We shall see.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,810
Ken, you just put into very eloquent words what I have been feeling and thinking lately. At times, I feel like it's too late. Other times, I have hope that it isn't. I try to accept that I made this bed, it's mine, and I have to either lie in it or kick the covers off and re-make it in a new and different way. I'm trying to do that, but it's hard. It's lonely work. I'm working now on forging new and healthier habits and relationships. Patience. In short supply but I have to realize it took years to mess things up, might take years to clear the debris.
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