Ken, you just put into very eloquent words what I have been feeling and thinking lately. At times, I feel like it's too late. Other times, I have hope that it isn't. I try to accept that I made this bed, it's mine, and I have to either lie in it or kick the covers off and re-make it in a new and different way. I'm trying to do that, but it's hard. It's lonely work. I'm working now on forging new and healthier habits and relationships. Patience. In short supply but I have to realize it took years to mess things up, might take years to clear the debris.