Heel beat weekender Nov 6th
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
Happy Friday everyone! Having a slow morning as heading in for a physical in a few hours. I DO NOT LIKE going to the doctors. I think it is because I'm a no-touchy girl. I'm good if we have the same last name but other than that, no touchy. Plus I've got a hitch in my giddy-up; sacroiliac joint dysfunction....I just like saying that word sacroiliac because it sounds fun....but it is painful but my chiro will whip me back in to shape.
Taking a little emotional break from the crazies in my life. Their enabling and active using behavior is getting a bit much for me. I hope everyone has a happy sober day
Taking a little emotional break from the crazies in my life. Their enabling and active using behavior is getting a bit much for me. I hope everyone has a happy sober day
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Soberclover, I don't like going to them either. Not one bit. It's hard enough going every six months to the dentist. I have to go to the orthodontist every six weeks. I've not gotten used to it in over two years. Kind of a pain each time.
G'morning gang. Woo hoo, coffee time. And then I'm off to pick up the SUV from the mechanic. Nothing was wrong with it. Weird. Oh well, guess I can ride easy now.
More arguments last night. He swatted at the dog's behind again to keep her from running out the front door. I don't really want a barrage of comments saying "Don't hit dogs" and such. I know, I know. It kills me. More than you can imagine. He isn't hitting the dog, he is swatting her gently to get her attention, but I completely disagree, and so this is hard to take, knowing I can't physically restrain him. He adamantly disagrees that it's wrong. He insists that this will save her life one day when she's running off into the woods and there's a car coming toward her. She stops in her tracks when he yells, and he thinks it's because of the swatting at her behind.
I just see all kinds of wrong with it. She mostly listens when we call her to us, but she is a beagle, and beagles by nature are stubborn, and so it takes a minute to get their attention when they are sniffing (they are hounds, led by their noses).
Understand that I am not condoning this. I am trying to logically deal with this until I can figure out what to do. This is the way I have to deal with it so that I won't go off the deep end. He is not leaving me much room here. This enrages me and I'd rather just knock him out cold over this one, to be honest. That's how upset I am that he's completely defying my wishes.
Not to mention the fear he's instilled into the dog. She loves him so much, and is very loyal to him of course, but I have seen a change in behavior. He thinks this is what it takes to keep her alive. I think it's a poor choice in training.
So, because I'm dealing with beagles who are naturally stubborn, he wins. He f***ing wins this one. And there's nothing I can do.
He has actually threatened to take the dogs from me if I make him leave the house.
It appears I'll be forced to court over this. I am willing to do whatever it takes, but I hope he becomes more reasonable when the time comes for the actual parting of ways.
G'morning gang. Woo hoo, coffee time. And then I'm off to pick up the SUV from the mechanic. Nothing was wrong with it. Weird. Oh well, guess I can ride easy now.
More arguments last night. He swatted at the dog's behind again to keep her from running out the front door. I don't really want a barrage of comments saying "Don't hit dogs" and such. I know, I know. It kills me. More than you can imagine. He isn't hitting the dog, he is swatting her gently to get her attention, but I completely disagree, and so this is hard to take, knowing I can't physically restrain him. He adamantly disagrees that it's wrong. He insists that this will save her life one day when she's running off into the woods and there's a car coming toward her. She stops in her tracks when he yells, and he thinks it's because of the swatting at her behind.
I just see all kinds of wrong with it. She mostly listens when we call her to us, but she is a beagle, and beagles by nature are stubborn, and so it takes a minute to get their attention when they are sniffing (they are hounds, led by their noses).
Understand that I am not condoning this. I am trying to logically deal with this until I can figure out what to do. This is the way I have to deal with it so that I won't go off the deep end. He is not leaving me much room here. This enrages me and I'd rather just knock him out cold over this one, to be honest. That's how upset I am that he's completely defying my wishes.
Not to mention the fear he's instilled into the dog. She loves him so much, and is very loyal to him of course, but I have seen a change in behavior. He thinks this is what it takes to keep her alive. I think it's a poor choice in training.
So, because I'm dealing with beagles who are naturally stubborn, he wins. He f***ing wins this one. And there's nothing I can do.
He has actually threatened to take the dogs from me if I make him leave the house.
It appears I'll be forced to court over this. I am willing to do whatever it takes, but I hope he becomes more reasonable when the time comes for the actual parting of ways.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,245
Soberwolf, I didn't see the Panorama programme but I did read an article saying that under the secretive Investigatory Powers Tribunal (IPT) our electronic data is the least private in the free world
Lol! Behan - a never thought of the Sopranos as a male parenting advice show
Aah that must be really infuriating Soberpotamus - sorry that your patience is being sorely tested
Hi Petals
Ken - glad you are ahead of the pack, I wish I was
Roll on 5:30 I have had enough of this week
Lol! Behan - a never thought of the Sopranos as a male parenting advice show
Aah that must be really infuriating Soberpotamus - sorry that your patience is being sorely tested
Hi Petals
Ken - glad you are ahead of the pack, I wish I was
Roll on 5:30 I have had enough of this week
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Here's a great example of how my husband "fights" me. I bought vitamins yesterday. I guess he saw the purchase on the ipad, the notifications. So at 6am I awake and look through my phone notifications ... three emails from him (sent around 4am!). All with links to articles on why vitamins and either harmful or unnecessary, and one on how they're "lazy" and a cop-out. It's always AFTER I make a purchase, or make a decision, or take whatever action, rarely before.
This is typical behavior from him. It's passive-aggressive and insidious. He constantly fights me over any decision I make.
Just imagine, some shadow following you around, whispering in your ear you've made the WRONG decision any time you initiate something or have to come to a decision over anything.
Meanwhile, he avoids decision making. He forces me to decide what we're going to do everyday, it's all on me. So that if anything goes wrong, it's "I told you so" from him. See how he works?
I caught on rather quickly after I got sober. So nowadays I don't communicate my intent to him, I just do things. And then he finds out later. When he calls from stores to ask how much of X food or product to buy, I say "I dunno. It's your call." I've tried to put it back on him, because he needs to make these decisions for himself. If I give him a list, he still calls. He used to call me ALL DAY LONG until I had enough of it. Then it was texts.
With the dogs, it was all put on me to read and learn how to train. And then when I put my foot down and make a choice, he undermines me.
I needed to give you all pertinent backstory so you'll understand how crazy this has been for me the past four years.
It was actually easier to deal with him drunk.
Now that I have my brain back on straight, it's been like walking through a minefield.
This is typical behavior from him. It's passive-aggressive and insidious. He constantly fights me over any decision I make.
Just imagine, some shadow following you around, whispering in your ear you've made the WRONG decision any time you initiate something or have to come to a decision over anything.
Meanwhile, he avoids decision making. He forces me to decide what we're going to do everyday, it's all on me. So that if anything goes wrong, it's "I told you so" from him. See how he works?
I caught on rather quickly after I got sober. So nowadays I don't communicate my intent to him, I just do things. And then he finds out later. When he calls from stores to ask how much of X food or product to buy, I say "I dunno. It's your call." I've tried to put it back on him, because he needs to make these decisions for himself. If I give him a list, he still calls. He used to call me ALL DAY LONG until I had enough of it. Then it was texts.
With the dogs, it was all put on me to read and learn how to train. And then when I put my foot down and make a choice, he undermines me.
I needed to give you all pertinent backstory so you'll understand how crazy this has been for me the past four years.
It was actually easier to deal with him drunk.
Now that I have my brain back on straight, it's been like walking through a minefield.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Morning, 'Enders-
Love, love this thread. I hope you all don't mind me jumping in....the positive and just plain cool vibe it has is something I need.
In this SR world, which I adore and no doubt is a mainstay of my sobriety- I have found if I'm reading a thread where 'slips' are the norm it adds a small crack in my psyche where I may think....if they can, why can't I?
Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!
So. Thank you 'Enders!
Love, love this thread. I hope you all don't mind me jumping in....the positive and just plain cool vibe it has is something I need.
In this SR world, which I adore and no doubt is a mainstay of my sobriety- I have found if I'm reading a thread where 'slips' are the norm it adds a small crack in my psyche where I may think....if they can, why can't I?
Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!
So. Thank you 'Enders!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Huh. Just lost a post. That hasn't happened in a while.
Cannot rewrite it now.
Casual Friday. Ridiculously easy commute (10 minutes). Sipping "Night of the Iguana" tea. Black tea, cardamom, clove, lavender and chocolate.
Take care all.
Cannot rewrite it now.
Casual Friday. Ridiculously easy commute (10 minutes). Sipping "Night of the Iguana" tea. Black tea, cardamom, clove, lavender and chocolate.
Take care all.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
Good morning eveyone!
brrrrrrrr it's getting cold outside.
Soberpotamus. ..nothing would get between me and my dogs. You have a difficult situation.
behan...The Sopranos is a great show. One of my favorites.
Ruby...ribs atmidnight? Wow, what an indulgence. Hopefully you will have some left for friday nightdinner!
Which reminds me. ..what do I do when cravings hit? Unfortunately, I eat. That always does the trick. I never did like to drink after I ate.
I also see avoiding stress as very important. I try to keep my life somewhat balanced. I have even cut back on my work to reduce stress. When life is calm and manageable, I get less cravings. Nothing like a long, difficult day at work to make cravings come on.
so...I'll be working at home this morning and then head to the office this afternoon. Dog walk sometime in between.
See you all later -
brrrrrrrr it's getting cold outside.
Soberpotamus. ..nothing would get between me and my dogs. You have a difficult situation.
behan...The Sopranos is a great show. One of my favorites.
Ruby...ribs atmidnight? Wow, what an indulgence. Hopefully you will have some left for friday nightdinner!
Which reminds me. ..what do I do when cravings hit? Unfortunately, I eat. That always does the trick. I never did like to drink after I ate.
I also see avoiding stress as very important. I try to keep my life somewhat balanced. I have even cut back on my work to reduce stress. When life is calm and manageable, I get less cravings. Nothing like a long, difficult day at work to make cravings come on.
so...I'll be working at home this morning and then head to the office this afternoon. Dog walk sometime in between.
See you all later -
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Originally Posted by Dharma33 
Morning, 'Enders-
Love, love this thread. I hope you all don't mind me jumping in....the positive and just plain cool vibe it has is something I need.
In this SR world, which I adore and no doubt is a mainstay of my sobriety- I have found if I'm reading a thread where 'slips' are the norm it adds a small crack in my psyche where I may think....if they can, why can't I?
Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!
So. Thank you 'Enders!
Love, love this thread. I hope you all don't mind me jumping in....the positive and just plain cool vibe it has is something I need.
In this SR world, which I adore and no doubt is a mainstay of my sobriety- I have found if I'm reading a thread where 'slips' are the norm it adds a small crack in my psyche where I may think....if they can, why can't I?
Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!
So. Thank you 'Enders!
This is a happy thread. But I hope everyone knows that if something is not happy to still speak up!!!
That's why we are here!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
famous last words: "We'll be there between 8 and 9..."
I got an hour of yard work done and collected flower seeds for next spring.
Pulled out beans and cucumber skeletons etc.. now it's leafy time!
here you go SP
I got an hour of yard work done and collected flower seeds for next spring.
Pulled out beans and cucumber skeletons etc.. now it's leafy time!
here you go SP
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Dharma you certainly are welcome here. This thread is here for everyone.
As for what Mecanix wrote about Friday plans. I'm planning to attend a meeting tonight at 7:00. It's a beginners AA meeting but it's different than the regular meetings. I also plan to take the train into the office instead of driving. Driving this week has been deleterious to my mental health and sobriety. So no thank you. I don't want to arrive home feeling like I want to bang heads or tear my hair out. Mr. Ruby is supposed to bring his paycheck home but I'm going to let go of my fear that he'll cash it and go out. My sanity of stress free commuting is more important.
SoberP, in reading what you wrote I understand the craziness involved with your husband second guessing every decision you make. I've often felt that from my husband and it's insidious. He's insecure. And the insinuating second guessing he conveys is acid. If everything else were fantastic in your marriage the dog swatting would be something you can't accept but it would be something you'd work on. It's a symbol for all that's going on. Hugs. Keep making your plans.
I've arrived at work. Hang in there everyone.
Dharma, keep coming back. Same for everyone who is new here or worried about posting. About two years ago I found this weekend thread and jumped on, sort of feeling like I was sort of butting in on a private conversation. But I stayed and kept posting and now I'm rock solid in knowing that people here have my back.
OK gotta go
As for what Mecanix wrote about Friday plans. I'm planning to attend a meeting tonight at 7:00. It's a beginners AA meeting but it's different than the regular meetings. I also plan to take the train into the office instead of driving. Driving this week has been deleterious to my mental health and sobriety. So no thank you. I don't want to arrive home feeling like I want to bang heads or tear my hair out. Mr. Ruby is supposed to bring his paycheck home but I'm going to let go of my fear that he'll cash it and go out. My sanity of stress free commuting is more important.
SoberP, in reading what you wrote I understand the craziness involved with your husband second guessing every decision you make. I've often felt that from my husband and it's insidious. He's insecure. And the insinuating second guessing he conveys is acid. If everything else were fantastic in your marriage the dog swatting would be something you can't accept but it would be something you'd work on. It's a symbol for all that's going on. Hugs. Keep making your plans.
I've arrived at work. Hang in there everyone.
Dharma, keep coming back. Same for everyone who is new here or worried about posting. About two years ago I found this weekend thread and jumped on, sort of feeling like I was sort of butting in on a private conversation. But I stayed and kept posting and now I'm rock solid in knowing that people here have my back.
OK gotta go
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Bingo, yes. Ruby, you got it. It's the symbolic manifestation of the larger problem going on here. Thank you.
I'm taking deep breaths.
I will get through this craziness.
Thanks, you all.
I know sometimes it can't be all happiness on the thread. It's just the nature of our real lives, and I do hope you guys know I don't mean, in any way, to dampen the mood around here. I just want to speak up and speak out, because it helps others to know that all of us struggle.
I'm taking deep breaths.
I will get through this craziness.
Thanks, you all.
I know sometimes it can't be all happiness on the thread. It's just the nature of our real lives, and I do hope you guys know I don't mean, in any way, to dampen the mood around here. I just want to speak up and speak out, because it helps others to know that all of us struggle.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Mesa, ha. I actually had started eating this bread with poppy seeds and then remembered that false-positive thing and stopped. That was a couple weeks ago and I know everyone drug tests these days.
Unfortunately I didn't know that Sudafed and ibuprofen can give false positives and I took both the day before to fight a headache. Se la vie. If I get disqualified by that, then it wasn't meant to be. I still got the ego boost and the practice interview. Onward. I'll keep looking and stop getting headaches
Unfortunately I didn't know that Sudafed and ibuprofen can give false positives and I took both the day before to fight a headache. Se la vie. If I get disqualified by that, then it wasn't meant to be. I still got the ego boost and the practice interview. Onward. I'll keep looking and stop getting headaches
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