All Addictions place.
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All Addictions place.
Hello!
I'm Rinky and I was here a couple of years ago with Rinkys all addictions corner . I wanted a thread that was open to all people with all addictions no matter what it may be.
Anything in excess that causes problems and keeps a person from leading a normal life has the potential to steal, kill, and destroy.
I'm back because I relapsed In a big way last year. I drank my way into hepatitis and pancreatitis and blacked out on my front porch and fell about 4 feet onto my cement sidewalk.
I now have cirrhosis of the liver thanks to my drinking. My life and health will never be the same. It isn't as bad as it could be thank the good Lord, but the fact that I let it get that far is so hard for me to accept.
This community and the support I found here really helped me when I was here on a regular basis. I hope to reconnect with old friends and make some new ones. I hope my story will be of some help in some way and I know I will find understanding and support here.
It's good to be back and I look forward to getting to know people and being able to share with people who are going through similar things.
Love to all..
I'm Rinky and I was here a couple of years ago with Rinkys all addictions corner . I wanted a thread that was open to all people with all addictions no matter what it may be.
Anything in excess that causes problems and keeps a person from leading a normal life has the potential to steal, kill, and destroy.
I'm back because I relapsed In a big way last year. I drank my way into hepatitis and pancreatitis and blacked out on my front porch and fell about 4 feet onto my cement sidewalk.
I now have cirrhosis of the liver thanks to my drinking. My life and health will never be the same. It isn't as bad as it could be thank the good Lord, but the fact that I let it get that far is so hard for me to accept.
This community and the support I found here really helped me when I was here on a regular basis. I hope to reconnect with old friends and make some new ones. I hope my story will be of some help in some way and I know I will find understanding and support here.
It's good to be back and I look forward to getting to know people and being able to share with people who are going through similar things.
Love to all..
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I meant to say that I've been sober for nine months now praise God. I also want to say that during my hospital stays with the pancreatitis I became physically dependent on opiates again and I've had to go back to the methadone clinic.
This causes me a great deal of regret and It has been hard to accept. I swore I'd never put any more of that stuff in my body, but I couldn't keep up with the increasing demands for opiates my body required to keep from getting sick and I couldn't get any help from my primary care dr or my gastroenterologist.
I didn't meet the requirements of the pain clinic either so I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. I just pray that when it is time to come back off of it that it don't make me sick with pancreatitis and all like the last time. That is the sickest I've ever been.
I had found a good alternative on the internet that worked well finally last year, but since I've gotten cirrhosis now I'm allergic to what I was using so can't go that route.. To have to walk in there after all I went through to get off of it was one of the scariest hardest things I've ever had to do.
What really bothers me is when I was in the hospital I plainly told the doctor that was caring for me that I was previously on methadone for opiate dependence and that I couldn't just stop taking it if I started.. He said,, "don't worry, I'll help you, this isn't my first time around the ball park".
When I was discharged he gave me a script for 30 roxie 10 and I thought he was going to slowly wean me off.. When It was time to refill he informed me that their office didn't prescribe narcotics and that he would refer me to the pain clinic... Then I was told I don't meet the criteria for that,, so I was left out in the cold to try to deal with it myself.
I will be so happy if there is ever any help for people like me who become physically dependent on that stuff. I mean real help with real alternatives. It is such a hard problem to try and tackle. I really don't appreciate the way this doctor left me swinging by that rope after I plainly told him I was easily addicted to oxy. Oh well... Just wanted y'all to know about that..
This causes me a great deal of regret and It has been hard to accept. I swore I'd never put any more of that stuff in my body, but I couldn't keep up with the increasing demands for opiates my body required to keep from getting sick and I couldn't get any help from my primary care dr or my gastroenterologist.
I didn't meet the requirements of the pain clinic either so I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. I just pray that when it is time to come back off of it that it don't make me sick with pancreatitis and all like the last time. That is the sickest I've ever been.
I had found a good alternative on the internet that worked well finally last year, but since I've gotten cirrhosis now I'm allergic to what I was using so can't go that route.. To have to walk in there after all I went through to get off of it was one of the scariest hardest things I've ever had to do.
What really bothers me is when I was in the hospital I plainly told the doctor that was caring for me that I was previously on methadone for opiate dependence and that I couldn't just stop taking it if I started.. He said,, "don't worry, I'll help you, this isn't my first time around the ball park".
When I was discharged he gave me a script for 30 roxie 10 and I thought he was going to slowly wean me off.. When It was time to refill he informed me that their office didn't prescribe narcotics and that he would refer me to the pain clinic... Then I was told I don't meet the criteria for that,, so I was left out in the cold to try to deal with it myself.
I will be so happy if there is ever any help for people like me who become physically dependent on that stuff. I mean real help with real alternatives. It is such a hard problem to try and tackle. I really don't appreciate the way this doctor left me swinging by that rope after I plainly told him I was easily addicted to oxy. Oh well... Just wanted y'all to know about that..
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Rinky, I'm glad to see you back as well. 
Sometimes, we put so much trust in our Doctor we forget about self care. I've been guilty of doing it, that's for sure.
What an awful way to learn, but learn we do.
I'm sure your post will help another member who finds himself in a similar position. Maybe save them the suffering you are going through now.
Thank you
Sometimes, we put so much trust in our Doctor we forget about self care. I've been guilty of doing it, that's for sure.
What an awful way to learn, but learn we do.
I'm sure your post will help another member who finds himself in a similar position. Maybe save them the suffering you are going through now.
Thank you
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Lord.. I had a whole post done and almost ready and my stupid computer or internet went out and I lost all I had written...
I was writing about the lady who's sister just died of end stage liver disease.
I'm so very thankful that she shared her story with us. It helps me remember what condition I was in last year and what a blessing it is that I didn't die like that.
How awful it would have been to leave my kids in that way with that being the last memory they would have had of me.
It is so courageous for her and people like her to be able to share through the pain of the situation to be able to help people going through similar things.
I rarely have the urge to take a drink so far in these 9 months but when I do I just remind myself that every thing will be ok as long as I just don't take a drink. Nothing else can defeat me as long as I just don't have that drink.
That and the realization that through the grace of God I was saved from that same awful fate and not to waste the gift of that realization.. I guess that's my thought for the day... Love to all.
I was writing about the lady who's sister just died of end stage liver disease.
I'm so very thankful that she shared her story with us. It helps me remember what condition I was in last year and what a blessing it is that I didn't die like that.
How awful it would have been to leave my kids in that way with that being the last memory they would have had of me.
It is so courageous for her and people like her to be able to share through the pain of the situation to be able to help people going through similar things.
I rarely have the urge to take a drink so far in these 9 months but when I do I just remind myself that every thing will be ok as long as I just don't take a drink. Nothing else can defeat me as long as I just don't have that drink.
That and the realization that through the grace of God I was saved from that same awful fate and not to waste the gift of that realization.. I guess that's my thought for the day... Love to all.
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Hi guys,
I read an article this morning that was talking about methadone treatment being 40 years old. This article covered the history of how this medication was developed and a lot of what went into the research that was done and all the hard work it took..
It also talked about alcoholics and this peaked my interest.
The article said that studies show that some people with a strong family history of alcohol addiction had a certain gene mutation and if a person has this particular mutation that they were up to 50% more at risk of developing an addiction.
It also said that when these individuals take a drink or two that it caused the same endorphins and chemicals to be released in the brain that heroin does and that that is the reason methadone and another drug that is used to help addicts stay sober can be beneficial in helping alcoholics.
I thought that was very interesting. At least there is a reason that I used the stuff till the point of death nearly... Alcohol dependence runs heavily in both sides of my family all the way back to my great uncles ect.. I thought some of you may find it interesting too.. I'm going to do some more research myself and see if there is anything else in that research that could help even more than I already knew...
More later....
I read an article this morning that was talking about methadone treatment being 40 years old. This article covered the history of how this medication was developed and a lot of what went into the research that was done and all the hard work it took..
It also talked about alcoholics and this peaked my interest.
The article said that studies show that some people with a strong family history of alcohol addiction had a certain gene mutation and if a person has this particular mutation that they were up to 50% more at risk of developing an addiction.
It also said that when these individuals take a drink or two that it caused the same endorphins and chemicals to be released in the brain that heroin does and that that is the reason methadone and another drug that is used to help addicts stay sober can be beneficial in helping alcoholics.
I thought that was very interesting. At least there is a reason that I used the stuff till the point of death nearly... Alcohol dependence runs heavily in both sides of my family all the way back to my great uncles ect.. I thought some of you may find it interesting too.. I'm going to do some more research myself and see if there is anything else in that research that could help even more than I already knew...
More later....
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Hey,
I'm feeling pretty good these days. I have to say though I have developed the awful habit of procrastination. I've always been prone to it but it has taken on a whole new meaning the last several months and I don't know exactly what to think of it.
It would seem easy to just say... Get up and get busy. I've tried and it just is getting me no where. I wonder what is really keeping me from doing the things I know I need to.
Like taking the steps and doing the work to get my professional license back in order. I know what needs to be done and it isn't going to be near as difficult as I dreaded but still I haven't started yet.
I need to buck up and make an apt with the dentist to get my teeth pulled and get dentures but haven't done that either. I knocked one out in the front and damaged the remaining ones when I fell last year so even if I get my license clear who would hire me with snaggled teeth?
The same goes with my house cleaning. I used to be pretty picky about it, and now I haven't cleaned in so long... I mean it's not nasty but I need to keep up with it far better than I do and for some reason I just keep putting that and all this other stuff on the back burner.
I don't get anything accomplished as the days go on. That's another reason I wanted to come back here. I figured it would help me to connect with every one going through the same kinds of things.
Thanks for asking about me... How are you doing?
I'm feeling pretty good these days. I have to say though I have developed the awful habit of procrastination. I've always been prone to it but it has taken on a whole new meaning the last several months and I don't know exactly what to think of it.
It would seem easy to just say... Get up and get busy. I've tried and it just is getting me no where. I wonder what is really keeping me from doing the things I know I need to.
Like taking the steps and doing the work to get my professional license back in order. I know what needs to be done and it isn't going to be near as difficult as I dreaded but still I haven't started yet.
I need to buck up and make an apt with the dentist to get my teeth pulled and get dentures but haven't done that either. I knocked one out in the front and damaged the remaining ones when I fell last year so even if I get my license clear who would hire me with snaggled teeth?
The same goes with my house cleaning. I used to be pretty picky about it, and now I haven't cleaned in so long... I mean it's not nasty but I need to keep up with it far better than I do and for some reason I just keep putting that and all this other stuff on the back burner.
I don't get anything accomplished as the days go on. That's another reason I wanted to come back here. I figured it would help me to connect with every one going through the same kinds of things.
Thanks for asking about me... How are you doing?
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(( Rinky)) Maybe try tackling one small chore and go from there? Sometimes depression can kick in for whatever reason and this makes everything seem like a major hill to climb.
Changing our lives is difficult in the best of circumstances. I'm glad your posting and reaching out. I can sure relate to your post and experienced major procrastination when I got sober.
For me, delving into the reasons I drank in the first place was key. You're not alone Rinky. We're here for you.
Sending you great big hugs.
Changing our lives is difficult in the best of circumstances. I'm glad your posting and reaching out. I can sure relate to your post and experienced major procrastination when I got sober.
For me, delving into the reasons I drank in the first place was key. You're not alone Rinky. We're here for you.
Sending you great big hugs.
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Thanks Opivotal'
I hope your day is going well. My depression has lifted a little bit for the last few days. I know it's to be expected to have mild bouts of it for me anyway and mood swings to and extent.
I went to see my Dad at the facility he's at, He has alzheimers disease, He just isn't there anymore in his mind. He didn't know who I was and he couldn't carry on even a simple conversation or have a complete thought.
It's amazing how fast this is happening. One of my great Aunts went that fast with hers while her sister hung on for years not knowing anything but her body wouldn't give in.
I'm trying not to get all bogged down with it but it is more difficult than I imagined. My Dad and I had grown apart for a while before he got sick and other things that people go through but now that this has happened it hasn't taken as much of the sting out of it as I thought it would.
I've been having really vivid dreams about drinking lately. Do any of you ever have those? They are so very real. when I wake up I'm so relieved that I was dreaming but I don't know why they have been so persistent lately .
Sometimes it is drinking and drugs but mostly drinking. It's that I'm getting ready to go out to the club usually and I'm trying to explain to someone that it's ok as long as I only go once and a while.. Or I dream that they are accusing me of drinking or having really strong drinks and I become angry and try to argue that I know what I'm doing and that it'll be ok..
Crazy isn't it? I don't usually have any urge to drink since my last one. I wonder if it is triggered by what my Dad is going through and maybe other stresses that I have lately.. usually I would have drank to take the edge off what ever problem I was having .. I guess it's kind of normal to dream like that, I've been told but it sure is upsetting especially when I wake up so relieved because the dream was so real I go through the guilt feelings too in the dreams. Oh well. that's all I have on my mind at the moment.. I hope everyone is having a good day...
I hope your day is going well. My depression has lifted a little bit for the last few days. I know it's to be expected to have mild bouts of it for me anyway and mood swings to and extent.
I went to see my Dad at the facility he's at, He has alzheimers disease, He just isn't there anymore in his mind. He didn't know who I was and he couldn't carry on even a simple conversation or have a complete thought.
It's amazing how fast this is happening. One of my great Aunts went that fast with hers while her sister hung on for years not knowing anything but her body wouldn't give in.
I'm trying not to get all bogged down with it but it is more difficult than I imagined. My Dad and I had grown apart for a while before he got sick and other things that people go through but now that this has happened it hasn't taken as much of the sting out of it as I thought it would.
I've been having really vivid dreams about drinking lately. Do any of you ever have those? They are so very real. when I wake up I'm so relieved that I was dreaming but I don't know why they have been so persistent lately .
Sometimes it is drinking and drugs but mostly drinking. It's that I'm getting ready to go out to the club usually and I'm trying to explain to someone that it's ok as long as I only go once and a while.. Or I dream that they are accusing me of drinking or having really strong drinks and I become angry and try to argue that I know what I'm doing and that it'll be ok..
Crazy isn't it? I don't usually have any urge to drink since my last one. I wonder if it is triggered by what my Dad is going through and maybe other stresses that I have lately.. usually I would have drank to take the edge off what ever problem I was having .. I guess it's kind of normal to dream like that, I've been told but it sure is upsetting especially when I wake up so relieved because the dream was so real I go through the guilt feelings too in the dreams. Oh well. that's all I have on my mind at the moment.. I hope everyone is having a good day...
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Good Afternoon folks,
It happened again, More drinking dreams last night. I wonder how long this is gonna last. I'm just going to try not to think about it anymore. I can't really control what I dream about so..
I have a doctors apt tomorrow and I dread it. The fluid on my abdomen isn't any better and I'm doing the best I can with the low to no salt diet. I don't eat that much anyway.
It is just a constant reminder of how I have damaged my body with alcohol. God if I could just go back just a little while and quit before this happened. I know thinking like that will just make me crazy.
I do know I'm certainly not the only person on earth to be going through this and a lot worse but sometimes it feels that way.
I'm embarrassed to be seen by old friends. Since I fell and knocked my teeth out and lost so much weight it's such a stark difference in appearance I dread what they would think and say .
I know I can get my teeth fixed but I don't know how to put my muscle weight back on. It seems that it's just not going to come back.. It's like I aged 20 years over night. I wonder if anyone here knows what to do to try and build some muscle back.. The cirrhosis and the hepatitis and pancreatitis is what caused it. I'm not having any trouble with that at the moment thank God but just can't seem to get my body to respond the way I'd like it to..
Oh well, that's my griping for the day.. I really do realize how blessed I am despite these problems. ttyl..
It happened again, More drinking dreams last night. I wonder how long this is gonna last. I'm just going to try not to think about it anymore. I can't really control what I dream about so..
I have a doctors apt tomorrow and I dread it. The fluid on my abdomen isn't any better and I'm doing the best I can with the low to no salt diet. I don't eat that much anyway.
It is just a constant reminder of how I have damaged my body with alcohol. God if I could just go back just a little while and quit before this happened. I know thinking like that will just make me crazy.
I do know I'm certainly not the only person on earth to be going through this and a lot worse but sometimes it feels that way.
I'm embarrassed to be seen by old friends. Since I fell and knocked my teeth out and lost so much weight it's such a stark difference in appearance I dread what they would think and say .
I know I can get my teeth fixed but I don't know how to put my muscle weight back on. It seems that it's just not going to come back.. It's like I aged 20 years over night. I wonder if anyone here knows what to do to try and build some muscle back.. The cirrhosis and the hepatitis and pancreatitis is what caused it. I'm not having any trouble with that at the moment thank God but just can't seem to get my body to respond the way I'd like it to..
Oh well, that's my griping for the day.. I really do realize how blessed I am despite these problems. ttyl..
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Hello y'all,
I had another night filled with dreams of looking for pills and my ex husband. For some reason he is usually in these dreams I've been having lately. They have moved from drinking to the pain pills lately.
I woke up crying because I was dreaming that the ex was being mean to me in front of our friends when we were making our rounds looking for pills.. This is nuts the way I continue to have these dreams of using.
My current husband said this morning that I probably dream about the ex in the dreams because it was the break up of our marriage and my inability to handle it that started me down this road. That makes sense to me.
I think when I go in for my medication tomorrow I will talk with my counselor and get her opinion. I can't be the only one who goes through this but I haven't read anything on here lately about dreams and I didn't get any feed back so I really need to figure out if this is something that may potentially throw me off track. I don't feel like it would but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
The fact that the dreams are so vivid is also troubling. My dreams usually are but these are even more so than my usual. Well I know you guys are probably tired of reading about this problem I'm having so I'll go move on to something else. I hope everyone has a good day.
I had another night filled with dreams of looking for pills and my ex husband. For some reason he is usually in these dreams I've been having lately. They have moved from drinking to the pain pills lately.
I woke up crying because I was dreaming that the ex was being mean to me in front of our friends when we were making our rounds looking for pills.. This is nuts the way I continue to have these dreams of using.
My current husband said this morning that I probably dream about the ex in the dreams because it was the break up of our marriage and my inability to handle it that started me down this road. That makes sense to me.
I think when I go in for my medication tomorrow I will talk with my counselor and get her opinion. I can't be the only one who goes through this but I haven't read anything on here lately about dreams and I didn't get any feed back so I really need to figure out if this is something that may potentially throw me off track. I don't feel like it would but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
The fact that the dreams are so vivid is also troubling. My dreams usually are but these are even more so than my usual. Well I know you guys are probably tired of reading about this problem I'm having so I'll go move on to something else. I hope everyone has a good day.
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Hi Rinky!
I can relate to so much of what you post. The drinking dreams, ex dreams... I went through it and still do sometimes. I know how they can shake you up.
The drinking dreams are very common, heck in early sobriety, I sometimes woke up feeling drunk. They never stopped all together but occur less often. I stopped trying to figure them out. That being said, I think my dreams were from guilt, always sneaking, hiding, and lying about drinking.
I still have dreams of the ex.. in fact had one last night that upset me. I suppose mine are from unresolved issues. I'm sure it's different for everyone.
Talking about it helps, so glad you are posting. Please feel free to post as much as you like,you never know who's going through the same issues unless you put it out there.
Hope you have a great day, Rinky.
I can relate to so much of what you post. The drinking dreams, ex dreams... I went through it and still do sometimes. I know how they can shake you up.
The drinking dreams are very common, heck in early sobriety, I sometimes woke up feeling drunk. They never stopped all together but occur less often. I stopped trying to figure them out. That being said, I think my dreams were from guilt, always sneaking, hiding, and lying about drinking.
I still have dreams of the ex.. in fact had one last night that upset me. I suppose mine are from unresolved issues. I'm sure it's different for everyone.
Talking about it helps, so glad you are posting. Please feel free to post as much as you like,you never know who's going through the same issues unless you put it out there.
Hope you have a great day, Rinky.
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I've tried twice to post and my computer keeps messing up. Thanks for your support Opivotal. May I ask how you came up with that user name, it's so unusual?
I've decided to do like you say and stop dwelling on the dreams so much. I have enough going on since yesterday to keep my mind off of it any way.
I have an umbilical hernia from my accident last year and the ascites from my liver disease had it swelled out, so I use a girdle to help hold it in so it doesn't strangulate. I developed a small pressure wound from the tightness of the girdle so I've been doctoring it by keeping it clean and putting a bandage on daily.
Yesterday when I was cleaning it,, it sprung a pin hole size leak and all that fluid came streaming out. It took the better part of an hour and It was 5.5 liters. Lordy.. Needless to say, that was different. Natures on paracentisis. lol.
Then when I went out to feed the cats and kittens this am, a male cat that has been missing for a month was home finally but he is skin and bones and can scarcely keep himself standing. It's as though he was trapped or stuck some where all this time that he couldn't get home.
I thought he was off tom catting around like they do to start with but he was gone longer than usual for this and he don't have any scratch wounds like they have if they have been fighting other males. I'm really stumped as to where he could have been all this time and how he got is such bad shape. I can tell he is traumatized too. the way he looks at me... It's heart breaking. If he doesn't show some improvement in the next day or two I will take him to the vet.
We are getting all of them fixed anyway so this just prompts me to get on the ball instead of procrastinating about it. I think the momma cat is pregnant again anyway.
I'll post more later on. I want to get this on here before my computer messes up again.
I've decided to do like you say and stop dwelling on the dreams so much. I have enough going on since yesterday to keep my mind off of it any way.
I have an umbilical hernia from my accident last year and the ascites from my liver disease had it swelled out, so I use a girdle to help hold it in so it doesn't strangulate. I developed a small pressure wound from the tightness of the girdle so I've been doctoring it by keeping it clean and putting a bandage on daily.
Yesterday when I was cleaning it,, it sprung a pin hole size leak and all that fluid came streaming out. It took the better part of an hour and It was 5.5 liters. Lordy.. Needless to say, that was different. Natures on paracentisis. lol.
Then when I went out to feed the cats and kittens this am, a male cat that has been missing for a month was home finally but he is skin and bones and can scarcely keep himself standing. It's as though he was trapped or stuck some where all this time that he couldn't get home.
I thought he was off tom catting around like they do to start with but he was gone longer than usual for this and he don't have any scratch wounds like they have if they have been fighting other males. I'm really stumped as to where he could have been all this time and how he got is such bad shape. I can tell he is traumatized too. the way he looks at me... It's heart breaking. If he doesn't show some improvement in the next day or two I will take him to the vet.
We are getting all of them fixed anyway so this just prompts me to get on the ball instead of procrastinating about it. I think the momma cat is pregnant again anyway.
I'll post more later on. I want to get this on here before my computer messes up again.
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Hey guy's,
Hope every one is having a good day. I went for my albumin infusion earlier. I don't mind it too much but I wish I could do with out them. I'm hoping now that all the fluid drained off the other day that it will stay that way and I wont have to worry about it any more.
Albumin is a protein that the liver makes and sometimes with damaged liver it don't make enough which adds to the fluid build up. That's about all I know about it.. If some of you know about Albumin I'd love to know more information.
I rarely search the internet for things like that because it's such a hassle to weed through all the crap they bring up and then it takes you round and round trying to get the right site lol.
My cat isn't much better if any. I can't really tell because I haven't gotten a good look at him so far today. I wasn't home til just a lil while ago. I hope he will come out of hiding because if I'm gonna have to take him to the vets I would rather know it today and not have to pay the extra for the weekend vet.
If any one checking by on this thread also has cirrhosis I'd love to hear from you, so to speak. I feel like sometimes it would help with my feelings of anxiety when I start thinking about how I damaged my health in a permanent way. That very much so bothers me.
Have a fantastic day.
Hope every one is having a good day. I went for my albumin infusion earlier. I don't mind it too much but I wish I could do with out them. I'm hoping now that all the fluid drained off the other day that it will stay that way and I wont have to worry about it any more.
Albumin is a protein that the liver makes and sometimes with damaged liver it don't make enough which adds to the fluid build up. That's about all I know about it.. If some of you know about Albumin I'd love to know more information.
I rarely search the internet for things like that because it's such a hassle to weed through all the crap they bring up and then it takes you round and round trying to get the right site lol.
My cat isn't much better if any. I can't really tell because I haven't gotten a good look at him so far today. I wasn't home til just a lil while ago. I hope he will come out of hiding because if I'm gonna have to take him to the vets I would rather know it today and not have to pay the extra for the weekend vet.
If any one checking by on this thread also has cirrhosis I'd love to hear from you, so to speak. I feel like sometimes it would help with my feelings of anxiety when I start thinking about how I damaged my health in a permanent way. That very much so bothers me.
Have a fantastic day.
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