All Addictions place.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: nc
Posts: 765
Hey Guy's.
Good Afternoon. Thanks for the feedback on the disability. I think I will just see where it leads. I've certainly been having some issues the last few days that would have been impossible to handle if I were on a job.
My hernia keeps trying to strangulate and the only way to get it to stop is to lie down on my back and let it go back in.. I wouldn't have been able to do that. that is the kinds of things I worry about trying to take a job. I know it sounds ridiculous but it's a real problem.
It is very painful and nauseating. If it wont go back in it is an emergency situation. But the last few days I've spent a couple hours at a time trying to get the thing to stop trying to strangulate. How can I work never knowing when that's going to occur.
I'm having the swelling again too and If I have to start Albumin Infusion again I'll have to try and schedule around it. But both the md appts they've made for me is after I'm supposed to start that job and I don't think you can qualify for disability if you're working or can you? I sure don't know but at any rate I will talk with my MD and maybe just call the numbers on the papers they sent and see what's what instead of just canceling and saying I don't need it.. Maybe they have ways they could help me other than just me not having to work..
I felt so blessed this morning while I was in church. I was feeling so thankful that My higher power made a provision for us to have that one day a week to slow down and take time to stop and smell the roses.
I hope I don't have to work a lot of Sundays with that job. I'm not going to worry about all this stuff.. If I'm trusting My higher power then I can't worry at the same time. It helps to remind myself of that.
Wonder what you all use to help your selves stay on track. If you want to share some of them I'd love to read them.. I have a few I use but the one I just mentioned is one of the ones that's helping me the most right now.
Have a beautiful afternoon... Love y'all.
Good Afternoon. Thanks for the feedback on the disability. I think I will just see where it leads. I've certainly been having some issues the last few days that would have been impossible to handle if I were on a job.
My hernia keeps trying to strangulate and the only way to get it to stop is to lie down on my back and let it go back in.. I wouldn't have been able to do that. that is the kinds of things I worry about trying to take a job. I know it sounds ridiculous but it's a real problem.
It is very painful and nauseating. If it wont go back in it is an emergency situation. But the last few days I've spent a couple hours at a time trying to get the thing to stop trying to strangulate. How can I work never knowing when that's going to occur.
I'm having the swelling again too and If I have to start Albumin Infusion again I'll have to try and schedule around it. But both the md appts they've made for me is after I'm supposed to start that job and I don't think you can qualify for disability if you're working or can you? I sure don't know but at any rate I will talk with my MD and maybe just call the numbers on the papers they sent and see what's what instead of just canceling and saying I don't need it.. Maybe they have ways they could help me other than just me not having to work..
I felt so blessed this morning while I was in church. I was feeling so thankful that My higher power made a provision for us to have that one day a week to slow down and take time to stop and smell the roses.
I hope I don't have to work a lot of Sundays with that job. I'm not going to worry about all this stuff.. If I'm trusting My higher power then I can't worry at the same time. It helps to remind myself of that.
Wonder what you all use to help your selves stay on track. If you want to share some of them I'd love to read them.. I have a few I use but the one I just mentioned is one of the ones that's helping me the most right now.
Have a beautiful afternoon... Love y'all.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: nc
Posts: 765
Hey Y'all,
I'm cleaning house and trying to get all my ducks in a row,, Ha.. Before starting the new job Monday evening. I chose to start training in the Pm shift because I figure it will be easier to get back in to the working thing if I don't have to worry about being late right off the bat along with first day nerves.
I used to really hate getting up early and having to be somewhere and be fabulous at 7 AM. I think maybe if I start on 2nd shift maybe they will offer that shift for the regular job and especially if they decide to offer me something permanent after this one is over.
I turned in the papers they were sending me for the disability and I was honest on them. I still have to call and cancel the MD appts they made for me.. I forgot them till just now.. I know I don't qualify for it right now but in the future if I become disabled I will at least have that much on their records.
It's funny how us human beings can so easily be side tracked from what we know is right. I spent 2 days thinking over all of that and why I do not know. I guess it was tempting to try and get it since it would mean not having to worry about insurance and working if I do become that ill.. It takes forever to get approved I've heard.
My family thinks I should try to get it while it has came up but I can't in good conscious pretend to be worse off than I am. That wouldn't be trusting in my higher power either. I feel like If anything comes of it then fine... I will know I was honest and then it wont bother me.
I just wonder if any of you have it and if they sent you to a doctor and stuff like that because I still think it's odd that this all came up without any prompting from me. When they said this past spring that I didn't qualify because of my husbands income, I didn't protest it or anything so I still don't know how it even got started.. Oh well.
I hope y'all are having a good day so far... Maybe the sun will come out later I hope.. In my neck of the woods it's been cloudy for two days now... Talk to ya later...
I'm cleaning house and trying to get all my ducks in a row,, Ha.. Before starting the new job Monday evening. I chose to start training in the Pm shift because I figure it will be easier to get back in to the working thing if I don't have to worry about being late right off the bat along with first day nerves.
I used to really hate getting up early and having to be somewhere and be fabulous at 7 AM. I think maybe if I start on 2nd shift maybe they will offer that shift for the regular job and especially if they decide to offer me something permanent after this one is over.
I turned in the papers they were sending me for the disability and I was honest on them. I still have to call and cancel the MD appts they made for me.. I forgot them till just now.. I know I don't qualify for it right now but in the future if I become disabled I will at least have that much on their records.
It's funny how us human beings can so easily be side tracked from what we know is right. I spent 2 days thinking over all of that and why I do not know. I guess it was tempting to try and get it since it would mean not having to worry about insurance and working if I do become that ill.. It takes forever to get approved I've heard.
My family thinks I should try to get it while it has came up but I can't in good conscious pretend to be worse off than I am. That wouldn't be trusting in my higher power either. I feel like If anything comes of it then fine... I will know I was honest and then it wont bother me.
I just wonder if any of you have it and if they sent you to a doctor and stuff like that because I still think it's odd that this all came up without any prompting from me. When they said this past spring that I didn't qualify because of my husbands income, I didn't protest it or anything so I still don't know how it even got started.. Oh well.
I hope y'all are having a good day so far... Maybe the sun will come out later I hope.. In my neck of the woods it's been cloudy for two days now... Talk to ya later...
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: nc
Posts: 765
OMG.. It's the invasion of the stink bugs again.. Lordy I've grown to hate those things. Have you guy's got them too? I live in North Carolina and last year they were so bad. I heard the government had released them for some reason or other. I don't know if that's true or not but there were a scary lot of them.
If they did release them there should be plenty enough left over to do for a life time. Ha! I know I'm blessed if that's all I have to complain about. I'm still trying to get things in order before starting the job but I'm terrible to procrastinate.
Procrastination. I can't be the only one. It has been an issue for me for many years. What's puzzling is that I never used to be that way. In fact just the opposite. I wonder why when I think about things that have changed about me over the last few years it is usually nothing I proud of.
All the good changes I get kudos from people for are a result of having to recover from other things that I ended up doing that wasn't like me either.. For instance becoming an alcoholic and getting cirrhosis from drinking too much for too long.
Funny... Six years or so ago... I didn't have any of these problems.. That isn't a very long time. I've been truly blessed to get out as well as I did considering that I had worked my way up to a fifth of bourbon a day for about a good 2 years.
When I started taking pills on top of it is what really did it. I'm so very thankful to be sober today. so very thankful...
Love y'all... ttyl.
If they did release them there should be plenty enough left over to do for a life time. Ha! I know I'm blessed if that's all I have to complain about. I'm still trying to get things in order before starting the job but I'm terrible to procrastinate.
Procrastination. I can't be the only one. It has been an issue for me for many years. What's puzzling is that I never used to be that way. In fact just the opposite. I wonder why when I think about things that have changed about me over the last few years it is usually nothing I proud of.
All the good changes I get kudos from people for are a result of having to recover from other things that I ended up doing that wasn't like me either.. For instance becoming an alcoholic and getting cirrhosis from drinking too much for too long.
Funny... Six years or so ago... I didn't have any of these problems.. That isn't a very long time. I've been truly blessed to get out as well as I did considering that I had worked my way up to a fifth of bourbon a day for about a good 2 years.
When I started taking pills on top of it is what really did it. I'm so very thankful to be sober today. so very thankful...
Love y'all... ttyl.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: nc
Posts: 765
Lordy Mercy,
Y'all, I'm so very disgusted with myself. I was supposed to start that job yesterday afternoon. I got there and rode around the parking lot for a space and I don't know what happened but I started feeling panicy, I know that's not a word, but anyway, I left ...... Just like that... I just left.
I don't know what the crap is the matter with me... It's like I talked myself right out of it.. Just that quick. I can't explain it and I don't understand it.. If any one can help with this one I would so much appreciate it.
I tried to email the contact person this morning and called another person and left a message to see if maybe they would give me a chance to start today and I didn't hear back from them.
I don't blame them at all... God I just completely blew it.. I really did. I keep telling myself that it will be ok.. that every thing will be ok and work out as long as I don't drink.
That's the saying I use every day to stay sober and on the right track. Or at least try to act like a normal person. Geezzzee what kind of person just completely blows off a job they really need?????
Do any of you have any insight about this.. Please help if you can.. I'm starting to think that I'm really mentally unbalanced... Wouldn't I have to be to have done this. I really cannot believe it.
Let me hear from you please.. Today I really need to....
Thanks.... Love to all..
Y'all, I'm so very disgusted with myself. I was supposed to start that job yesterday afternoon. I got there and rode around the parking lot for a space and I don't know what happened but I started feeling panicy, I know that's not a word, but anyway, I left ...... Just like that... I just left.
I don't know what the crap is the matter with me... It's like I talked myself right out of it.. Just that quick. I can't explain it and I don't understand it.. If any one can help with this one I would so much appreciate it.
I tried to email the contact person this morning and called another person and left a message to see if maybe they would give me a chance to start today and I didn't hear back from them.
I don't blame them at all... God I just completely blew it.. I really did. I keep telling myself that it will be ok.. that every thing will be ok and work out as long as I don't drink.
That's the saying I use every day to stay sober and on the right track. Or at least try to act like a normal person. Geezzzee what kind of person just completely blows off a job they really need?????
Do any of you have any insight about this.. Please help if you can.. I'm starting to think that I'm really mentally unbalanced... Wouldn't I have to be to have done this. I really cannot believe it.
Let me hear from you please.. Today I really need to....
Thanks.... Love to all..
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Hi rinky, I am sorry about your experience yesterday. I, too, wonder if it may have been a panic attack. You have been through so much, I hope you are not being too hard on yourself right now.
Have you heard back from the contact person? How are you feeling today?
Take heart (((rinky))) that you are far from the only person who has ever panicked and had to leave somewhere immediately.
And it will be okay, look at what Dee has in his signature, it fits your situation (most of ours, really) quite perfectly.
Keep your sobriety front and centre, rinky, I believe things happen for a reason. Just do what you can to repair this situation. If it is not reparable then maybe this wasn't meant to be.
I feel for you and will say a prayer for you, dear
Have you heard back from the contact person? How are you feeling today?
Take heart (((rinky))) that you are far from the only person who has ever panicked and had to leave somewhere immediately.
And it will be okay, look at what Dee has in his signature, it fits your situation (most of ours, really) quite perfectly.
Keep your sobriety front and centre, rinky, I believe things happen for a reason. Just do what you can to repair this situation. If it is not reparable then maybe this wasn't meant to be.
I feel for you and will say a prayer for you, dear
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: nc
Posts: 765
Hey Guy's.
Thanks so much for responding. Yes, I've had a couple of panic attacks in the past, they were severe and I couldn't even catch my breath, I thought I was truly dying.
The more I think about it the more I think it was a mild one. My Mom says along with my oldest Daughter that I'm not ready for something full time and that much of a commitment and maybe they are right.
I've had a terrible time with my stomach this past two weeks with the hernia and I seriously doubt I'd have been able to last a whole shift any day this week. My Mom and Daughter think I should try to get the disability.
The problem is how do I pay my bills while I'm waiting for approval. I've heard it takes a good while even with the most obvious cases.. I don't know anything about it but seems to me if I take a job to try and pay my bills then they will never approve me.
I'm thinking of maybe some way I could make some money on the side for a while till I could get it but I hate thinking about that. Besides, I don't have a clue what it would be.
You guy's are right though. It's useless to beat myself up over the blown opportunity and I always tell my self every thing will be ok as long as I don't drink so I'm just sticking to that and praying for more faith that things will work out how they are supposed to.
I really do appreciate the suggestions and insights you all give when I ask. It helps so much to have opinions from an outside source.
My Daughter got married yesterday pm in Las Vegas.. I watched that today.. That put a bright spot in my day. It was supposed to be on live last night but for some reason I couldn't get it but it did come through today.. Boy,, the things we can do today that wasn't even thought of when I was her age... lol..
Well I think I'll close on that note... thanks again and I hope every one has a restful evening..
Thanks so much for responding. Yes, I've had a couple of panic attacks in the past, they were severe and I couldn't even catch my breath, I thought I was truly dying.
The more I think about it the more I think it was a mild one. My Mom says along with my oldest Daughter that I'm not ready for something full time and that much of a commitment and maybe they are right.
I've had a terrible time with my stomach this past two weeks with the hernia and I seriously doubt I'd have been able to last a whole shift any day this week. My Mom and Daughter think I should try to get the disability.
The problem is how do I pay my bills while I'm waiting for approval. I've heard it takes a good while even with the most obvious cases.. I don't know anything about it but seems to me if I take a job to try and pay my bills then they will never approve me.
I'm thinking of maybe some way I could make some money on the side for a while till I could get it but I hate thinking about that. Besides, I don't have a clue what it would be.
You guy's are right though. It's useless to beat myself up over the blown opportunity and I always tell my self every thing will be ok as long as I don't drink so I'm just sticking to that and praying for more faith that things will work out how they are supposed to.
I really do appreciate the suggestions and insights you all give when I ask. It helps so much to have opinions from an outside source.
My Daughter got married yesterday pm in Las Vegas.. I watched that today.. That put a bright spot in my day. It was supposed to be on live last night but for some reason I couldn't get it but it did come through today.. Boy,, the things we can do today that wasn't even thought of when I was her age... lol..
Well I think I'll close on that note... thanks again and I hope every one has a restful evening..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: nc
Posts: 765
God... The rain, the rain.. Phew.. so sick of it.
LOL.. I know if you live any where near NC your sick of it too. I don't have much to allow today except my estranged husband just left and in a huff. Nothing new. I was hoping he wanted to pay me to clean his new place once a week for him and he does but he don't want to pay me what it's worth or anything near what I need till I hear from disability.
I think I'm gonna talk to a lawyer next week and see if there is any way to work part time and still get some assistance. That is really what I need. I think I could work a part time job but I'm pretty sure I can't do a full time one.
I wish they would take things like that in consideration but I don't think they do. I'll find out some how. I'm still sober.. I know I say that every time I post but I'm glad to be able to say it especially when I'm feeling as depressed and doomed as I do today.
Actually I've been feeling pretty depressed for a week now and it has gotten worse this week especially since I messed that job up. I sure do hope my mood will turn around and I can feel happy at least a little bit that I don't have to put up with a man I don't love.
I hope you guy's are having a good Friday. Lordy I used to look forward to the weekend so much to go out but now it's just like any other days. Some times I wonder if I will ever be really happy about any thing ever again. I really do feel like I've had my turn and now it's just all so meaningless.. Or I should say It feels that way.
Maybe that mental health doctor they want to send me to will have some magic up his sleeve... Ha.. Oh well... till later..
LOL.. I know if you live any where near NC your sick of it too. I don't have much to allow today except my estranged husband just left and in a huff. Nothing new. I was hoping he wanted to pay me to clean his new place once a week for him and he does but he don't want to pay me what it's worth or anything near what I need till I hear from disability.
I think I'm gonna talk to a lawyer next week and see if there is any way to work part time and still get some assistance. That is really what I need. I think I could work a part time job but I'm pretty sure I can't do a full time one.
I wish they would take things like that in consideration but I don't think they do. I'll find out some how. I'm still sober.. I know I say that every time I post but I'm glad to be able to say it especially when I'm feeling as depressed and doomed as I do today.
Actually I've been feeling pretty depressed for a week now and it has gotten worse this week especially since I messed that job up. I sure do hope my mood will turn around and I can feel happy at least a little bit that I don't have to put up with a man I don't love.
I hope you guy's are having a good Friday. Lordy I used to look forward to the weekend so much to go out but now it's just like any other days. Some times I wonder if I will ever be really happy about any thing ever again. I really do feel like I've had my turn and now it's just all so meaningless.. Or I should say It feels that way.
Maybe that mental health doctor they want to send me to will have some magic up his sleeve... Ha.. Oh well... till later..
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Oh Rinky, I sure hope the Doctor can help you. 
Depression can suck the joy right out of you. Adding money issues on top of that is a lot to handle.
I'm not sure about working while applying for disability, but they do have work programs once you're approved. I know, it's so complicated.
Sorry your EH cannot help you out. Please keep posting and know I'm in your "corner".
Love and big hugs!
Depression can suck the joy right out of you. Adding money issues on top of that is a lot to handle.
I'm not sure about working while applying for disability, but they do have work programs once you're approved. I know, it's so complicated.
Sorry your EH cannot help you out. Please keep posting and know I'm in your "corner".
Love and big hugs!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: nc
Posts: 765
Hi,
Boy what a difference a day or two can make. The sun is out, It's an absolutely beautiful day where I am. I think folks south of NC are still getting it though.
I feel so bad for everyone in South Carolina and other places that are flooding so bad. My thoughts and prayers and the prayers of my church are with all of you.
Thanks to all of you for being there when I'm depressed. I'm still having to fight it but seeing the sun helps more than even I thought it would.
I called and confirmed the MD appts the disability people made for me. One is Friday and the other is in a week and half.. I'll be glad to get that behind me. My estranged person is being more agreeable for the time being too so I really can't complain today.
He rented a small house and He's going to pay me to clean it for him. Plus for packing some of his things since he's not here. I'd rather do that than to have him here with his grand kids packing it.
He's being nicer about things than I would probably under the same circumstances. It is big of him to be willing to help me since I practically threw him out. I don't regret that we aren't living together, I just hate that he had to be hurt.
I will say that when I'm so depressed I have the hardest time keeping my eyes open when I'm typing or reading.. shoot, it's like I just can't get enough sleep. I feel like I could actually sleep the whole week.
I wonder how much the disability people take depression under consideration. I actually feel physically sick when it's bad.. I ache all over.. can't hold my eyes open. don't have an appetite. I'm sure some of you suffer it as well.
It does help to get on here and read the posts or I like to read in the AA book to, I just have to fight nodding off. I don't smoke and read any more.. I have a lot of places on my rug from doing that in the past. I was blessed that it didn't catch fire but I did set a small plastic trash can on fire once... I just picked it up and sat it in the front yard and watched it burn.. lol.
I hope all of you are having a good day and staying dry. Thanks again for the support as always.. You guy's are angels...
Boy what a difference a day or two can make. The sun is out, It's an absolutely beautiful day where I am. I think folks south of NC are still getting it though.
I feel so bad for everyone in South Carolina and other places that are flooding so bad. My thoughts and prayers and the prayers of my church are with all of you.
Thanks to all of you for being there when I'm depressed. I'm still having to fight it but seeing the sun helps more than even I thought it would.
I called and confirmed the MD appts the disability people made for me. One is Friday and the other is in a week and half.. I'll be glad to get that behind me. My estranged person is being more agreeable for the time being too so I really can't complain today.
He rented a small house and He's going to pay me to clean it for him. Plus for packing some of his things since he's not here. I'd rather do that than to have him here with his grand kids packing it.
He's being nicer about things than I would probably under the same circumstances. It is big of him to be willing to help me since I practically threw him out. I don't regret that we aren't living together, I just hate that he had to be hurt.
I will say that when I'm so depressed I have the hardest time keeping my eyes open when I'm typing or reading.. shoot, it's like I just can't get enough sleep. I feel like I could actually sleep the whole week.
I wonder how much the disability people take depression under consideration. I actually feel physically sick when it's bad.. I ache all over.. can't hold my eyes open. don't have an appetite. I'm sure some of you suffer it as well.
It does help to get on here and read the posts or I like to read in the AA book to, I just have to fight nodding off. I don't smoke and read any more.. I have a lot of places on my rug from doing that in the past. I was blessed that it didn't catch fire but I did set a small plastic trash can on fire once... I just picked it up and sat it in the front yard and watched it burn.. lol.
I hope all of you are having a good day and staying dry. Thanks again for the support as always.. You guy's are angels...
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: nc
Posts: 765
Good Morning.. Well, almost noon.
Any Ways... Why in the world would some one start in treatment at a methadone clinic and then, still take opiate pain killers.
Lord, that's what one of my family members is doing and I just so don't see the point of getting on something as difficult to come off of as methadone if You're still going to abuse the other.
This person has a family history of this kind of thing, I try to be understanding myself being an alcoholic and opiate dependent but gosh.. It is expensive at the treatment center I go to and I sure wouldn't waste money to go if I was going to continue to do the pills.
This person has Medicaid though and the clinic she goes to accepts it. The one I go to only takes cash. I get a lot more personal attention though than I did at the other place. still, even if I had Medicaid I still wouldn't take the methadone If I was going to use the other.
That's my grip for the day.. LOL, I said that like I just have to have a grip.. I really don't have much to complain about other than how I pulled my rotator cuff on my shoulder ya know.. and it hurt so bad last night , I got up at 5am. Just could not get comfortable with it so I went to the clinic early.
The sun is out again today and I'm hoping to get some house work done that I keep procrastinating about.
Does any one have any good ideas to break the habit of procrastination.. I'm terrible about it. Seems like the older I get the worse it gets.
I did go visit my Mother yesterday. She and my brother are both sick with bad colds or flu. They're not sure which , so I didn't stay long. Sure don't need either on of them.
You Guy's have a blessed day... I'll check in later on.... Bye 4 now.
Any Ways... Why in the world would some one start in treatment at a methadone clinic and then, still take opiate pain killers.
Lord, that's what one of my family members is doing and I just so don't see the point of getting on something as difficult to come off of as methadone if You're still going to abuse the other.
This person has a family history of this kind of thing, I try to be understanding myself being an alcoholic and opiate dependent but gosh.. It is expensive at the treatment center I go to and I sure wouldn't waste money to go if I was going to continue to do the pills.
This person has Medicaid though and the clinic she goes to accepts it. The one I go to only takes cash. I get a lot more personal attention though than I did at the other place. still, even if I had Medicaid I still wouldn't take the methadone If I was going to use the other.
That's my grip for the day.. LOL, I said that like I just have to have a grip.. I really don't have much to complain about other than how I pulled my rotator cuff on my shoulder ya know.. and it hurt so bad last night , I got up at 5am. Just could not get comfortable with it so I went to the clinic early.
The sun is out again today and I'm hoping to get some house work done that I keep procrastinating about.
Does any one have any good ideas to break the habit of procrastination.. I'm terrible about it. Seems like the older I get the worse it gets.
I did go visit my Mother yesterday. She and my brother are both sick with bad colds or flu. They're not sure which , so I didn't stay long. Sure don't need either on of them.
You Guy's have a blessed day... I'll check in later on.... Bye 4 now.
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