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Trying again....

Old 06-21-2015, 08:20 AM
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Trying again....

I joined this site a few years ago but was not able to give up drinking. I have come back as I decided to stop drinking on the 12th June 2015. But I'm finding it so hard. Admittedly I only drank between 5.30 to 8.30, but those 3 hours are the worst in my day. I so crave a drink during this period and I'm afraid that I will give in.
I can't occupy my time doing anything else because this is the period that I cook tea for me and my husband and I always had a few drinks whilst cooking. I would then have more whilst eating and afterwards whilst we watched TV.
Can anybody tell me how they have dealt with their cravings please?
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Old 06-21-2015, 08:23 AM
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I am on day 12 - and I too was an evening drinker. I know you have your routine, but probably worth trying to switch it up. I have started hiking in those evening hours - gets me out the house, and at the risk of sounding like a broken record on here - I feel I am gaining something, not losing something, by adding hiking (and losing drinking)
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Old 06-21-2015, 08:29 AM
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Welcome back, Pastcaring!

I think that stopping drinking is a bit different for each of us but there are also many common themes. IMHO, support from others is a critical piece of this. I also think that it helps to put in place a plan. Some have more difficulty than others. I had a very tough time but I'm finally getting there with lots of support.

For many, the early days are not easy but it does get easier with effort and time. Post often and let us support you. Really engaging in the process is crucial. Please consider joining the June 2015 newcomers' thread to share experiences with others who are just starting their journey.

I hope we'll see you around here a lot!
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Old 06-21-2015, 08:30 AM
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That was exactly the hardest time for me. And, I had to make a change to get through it. I moved the meal-time earlier and then simply loaded the dishwasher and got out of the house. I walked for miles and it truly saved me. It helped on so many levels.
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Old 06-21-2015, 08:42 AM
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Welcome to SR Pastcaring

Here is a seriously useful link http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Also reading really helped me understand a lot heres another very useful link http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rituality.html

Start making it a thing to expose your urges & cravings by posting daily

Spk soon
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Old 06-21-2015, 08:45 AM
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Welcome to the family. I don't think you're really past caring or you wouldn't be here.
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Old 06-21-2015, 08:46 AM
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Thank you for the ideas. My husband wouldn't go for an earlier tea, he's in the pub til 6.30! I need to deal with the craving and unfortunately for me avoidance isn't an option. I'm ok on the two evenings he goes to choir practice as I'll stay out in the garden. I'll join the June 2015 newcomers thread, maybe reading about others going through the same will help me.
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Old 06-21-2015, 08:50 AM
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I really want to change my username on this forum, as I picked the current one when I first joined. But I can't find where to change it, can anybody point me in the right direction please?
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Old 06-21-2015, 09:05 AM
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welcome back!

Welcome back! I know that witching hour well! I think most of us had the same issue; looking forward to drinking as a reward after work or while cooking. I replaced wine with flavored seltzer. Still use my fancy glasses so I don't feel like I'm missing out. It takes a while to adjust, like breaking any other bad habit. I can tell you though the reward is priceless. I'm finally proud of myself, don't say or write (texts, emails etc) that I would regret and cringe the next day. It's taken me quite a few tries to quit, but I know I can't turn back. In just a few weeks I look and feel better (people have commented on it) so I am slowly getting my confidence back. If I continued to drink wine, I'd still be in that endless pit of sadness and self loathing.
You can do this!! Take it minute by minute if you need to and keep reading and posting. Alot of great advice and support here.😊 and just remember that if you stop for good you never have to feel like this again!!
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Old 06-21-2015, 09:16 AM
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Thank you!

That was really helpful, I think I'll print off your response and tape it to the fridge door as a reminder that I'm not the only one going or have gone through this again.
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Old 06-21-2015, 09:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Pastcaring View Post
That was really helpful, I think I'll print off your response and tape it to the fridge door as a reminder that I'm not the only one going or have gone through this again.
I'm so glad I could offer encouragement. Just paying it forward like so many others on this site have done for me! Stick around, you'll be glad you did.😃
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Old 06-21-2015, 10:14 AM
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Past caring, I can identify with you; our start and end times might have been different, but the end result was the same.
About 6:30, Hubby starts on his first whiskey while sitting on the porch and of course I would join him with a glass of wine.
Then, making dinner, have more wine. I used to put off serving dinner so I could have more wine, which didn't bother him in the least because he was happy having more whiskey. I really never drank with dinner or after, but I sure did a good job before dinner.
I will have 2 weeks tomorrow, so I am a relative newbie, but I will share what has helped me.
I go online and check in with SR, which I find to be very inspiring... reading all the new post takes some time! I went to the library and loaded up on books. I retreat to my bedroom, put my feet up and have quiet time with a diet Coke, my book, and play my favorite music. It's my private time, and it's all about me...
That's how I get through my witching hour.
You can do this, and the good people at SR are here to support you on your journey: read and post often....that has helped me a lot.
I wish you all the luck in the world and will check in often to see how you are getting along. A big Georgia welcome to my British friend..
(BTW, I would love to change my "name" as well. Don't know why I chose something as goofy as RTDB...I just couldn't think of anything, looked up and saw the indoor doorbell mechanism...and the rest is history! LOL!)
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Old 06-21-2015, 10:46 AM
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Welcome to the Forum!!

For me it was all about changing up my evening, I started to go out for long walks after arriving home from work, would spend hours getting creative in the kitchen, house work, box sets, online puzzles, something to fill my time before bedtime!!
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Old 06-21-2015, 11:07 AM
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Hi PC, (I will not call you by your posting name as you want to change it and I completely understand). I cannot tell you anything specific about how to dodge those cravings but I'll offer what I can. We are creatures of habit, I know I am...badly. You can set your watch by what my day is like. Changing a routine for me is extremely hard. It messes with my head. BUT, I changed my routine and I am not going to lie, it was hard. But being a creature of habit, I quickly adjusted to my new routine, which didn't involve alcohol. Now if I wanted to start drinking again, it would yet again have to change my routine, and it would mess me all up again. Full disclosure here, before I injured myself a month ago, I was still a weekend warrior. The reason I joined this site was to improve that last little portion of my life. Not sure if this helped you in any way, but I wish you the very best.
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Old 06-21-2015, 01:20 PM
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Let myself down

Thanks folks, I realised.... too late, that I should have my iPad in the kitchen with me so that I can post instead of drinking. I had managed 8 days without a drink, but one of the things I find difficult is my husband putting his half full glass of wine back in the fridge. Unlike me he can do this. But, it meant that every time I opened the fridge there was the wine right at eye level! 😧
This evening I just took a little sip but found that I felt so guilty that I may as well have the bad feeling for drinking the lot as for taking a sip. So I drank it all. Thankfully there was only about 100ml in the glass, even so I felt I had let myself down. 😔
I have asked my husband to stop putting his wine back in the fridge, we have another smaller fridge that I hardly use so he can store it in there.
So, tomorrow is another day and I start again. 🙏
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Old 06-21-2015, 01:46 PM
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Just pick yourself up and start new tomorrow. Every day is a new opportunity for growth and change. Now next time you know that seeing it in the fridge is a trigger. Make a plan so the next time it happens you do differently. It took me several tries.
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Old 06-21-2015, 02:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Pastcaring View Post
This evening I just took a little sip but found that I felt so guilty that I may as well have the bad feeling for drinking the lot as for taking a sip. So I drank it all. Thankfully there was only about 100ml in the glass, even so I felt I had let myself down.
The take away from your relapse is this: You gave into your cravings and it did not make you feel better. Drinking didn't feel good.

SO you might as well resist the next time, and not give in.
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Old 06-22-2015, 01:01 PM
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Thank you, you're both right. This evening my husband is at choir practice so I didn't need to cook tea. Soooo, when I got home from work I took my two dogs out to a local woodland park for a run. I felt so good when I got back home that I didn't want to spoil it by having a drink. I even managed to pour a glass of wine and put it in the fridge ready for my chorister when he gets home later this evening. Feeling more positive today 😇
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Old 06-22-2015, 02:14 PM
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Don't know whether anybody has seen the Horizon programme on BBCi player regarding the effects of alcohol on the body? It's very enlightening.
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