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Not to be a bummer but...

Old 05-29-2015, 05:54 PM
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Not to be a bummer but...

Still no inquiries from family...near or far. Oh well

Goodbye.
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:00 PM
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I am so sorry, ArtFriend.

Your SR family loves you.

Please continue to stay safe.
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:03 PM
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Hi AF

for as long as I expected my family to behave a certain way I was destined to be disappointed.

You will never drink them into behaving differently - believe me I tried.

Just because your family never phones does not mean you're not worth attention or that there are not people who care about you and how you are...

it just means you got a dud family. Some of the best of us do too.

no goodbyes ok? - hurting yourself, beating yourself up and drinking is not going to help.

D
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:06 PM
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Hey, ArtFriend, it doesn't take away any of your self worth, just remember that. We don't get to choose our family but we can choose our friends
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:08 PM
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Artfriend.....some members of my family never call me either, even after a sizable earthquake. What Dee said is absolutely true, you can't really expect anything from anyone. Hope you are okay
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:09 PM
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Man, I am really tired. I read "Goodbye" as "Goodnight".

ArtFriend, please don't drink over the inexcusable inactions of your family.

Please believe me when I say that you are important to me and to SR. Please treat yourself with the respect you deserve.
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:10 PM
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Hey ArtFriend. I feel you on the family thing. I chose to stop wasting so much energy on people who didn't want my affection, and have started replacing them with people who truly care about me and deserve my time.

Hope you start feeling better soon! We're always here if you ever want to talk.
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:06 PM
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I second Dee74....... I've got a dud family too (great description dee74) and I have spent too much time trying to figure why they are how they are.......how they are is not good for me so I have very little contact w them. They never contact me either. And it may as well stay this way because they just cause me anxiety. I'm building a new life in my recovery.
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:11 PM
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Hope you are doing OK AF. There are many who care about you here and are willing to listen. Please don't use this as an excuse to drink again.
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:15 PM
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
Still no inquiries from family...near or far. Oh well

Goodbye.
Keep your head up friend. People do care.
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:17 PM
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Being disappointed is one of the worst feelings. But it's temporary.
Hopefully you've read all these posts and feel some love from them.
I hope you can get up tomorrow and feel better about things.
My best to you.
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:43 PM
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Art please don't drink.
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:49 PM
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I love my family to death, but I rarely call them.

I probably should call them more, but I'm just not a "chit chat on the phone" kind of person.

Please don't poison yourself just because the way someone else acts (something you have absolutely NO control over) displeases you.

Take care of what you DO have control over. Yourself.
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Old 05-29-2015, 11:15 PM
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Hey AF ,
sometimes the fight for sobriety is long and difficult ,
it's a new day here in the UK and it'll be with you soon , sending you sober wishes with the dawn .

m
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Old 05-29-2015, 11:53 PM
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Hi Art,

I think the majority of us here have had less-than-ideal families/childhoods. I had a traumatic childhood and I still can't get over the fact that I never have, nor never will, receive(d) approval from my parents. It is really tough.

I think that you have many friends here. On the whole, you are one of the more cheerful and encouraging (and insightful) people here. You are having a bad moment and I hope it passes because you definitely deserve happiness and support. Give it to yourself if you can't get it from your family. After all, isn't life summed up with how you feel in the end? When we all leave our time here on Earth, can't it be summed up with your own happiness? You deserve that. You really do.

I am sorry because I think I have Pollyanna-itis right now - I am normally not this positive (I swear). I know what it feels like to be in a dark place - as I often am.

I hope you feel better. Please stay close to SR and keep us informed. You are bored? Let us know. You are angry because you had an uncomfortable phone call? Let us know. You ate a salad that had too much dressing and not enough bacon? Let us know. You get the point..
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Old 05-30-2015, 12:56 AM
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Hi AF, I hope you wake up to a happy Saturday. Cheers from Oz.
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Old 05-30-2015, 01:16 AM
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Hello ArtFriend.
In early recovery, my family (Father, uncles, aunties and cousins) did not want to talk to me. That was 27 years ago. I have been alone, family wise, all that time and it is still that way. As far as I know, they think I am either still drunk or dead.

They know how to contact me if they wanted to. I have a very rare surname, but it can be Googled, and I am still listed on phone records. So go figure.

Non of them know that I have completely changed since they last knew me. I am a person who has recovered, and not the old me polished up, but a brand new me, and my family don't want to know.

So that is their problem - not mine.

PS. My username is exactly their last words to me.
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Old 05-30-2015, 01:35 AM
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Originally Posted by NotYouAgain View Post
PS. My username is exactly their last words to me.
Gah. You win.
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Old 05-30-2015, 02:31 AM
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Got a family right here, Art :-)

My brother is a lot older than me, and the only time he calls me is when he really needs something from me. Blah.

You're a cool person and please stick around!
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Old 05-30-2015, 03:38 AM
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Expectations are unrealized resentments and resentments kill alcoholics[

Whether you are an AA fan or not I highly recommend you read pages 60 - 63 in the AA big book. It has saved me from drinking more times than I can count. The reading starts with:

The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.

Resentments are like you taking rat poison to get rid of the rats. Harming yourself to get back at others is alcoholic thinking
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