Expectations are unrealized resentments and resentments kill alcoholics[
Whether you are an AA fan or not I highly recommend you read pages 60 - 63 in the AA big book. It has saved me from drinking more times than I can count. The reading starts with:
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
Resentments are like you taking rat poison to get rid of the rats. Harming yourself to get back at others is alcoholic thinking