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Sobriety Toolbox...

Old 04-19-2015, 01:35 AM
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Sobriety Toolbox...

I saw those two word in a recent tread and I thought Hmm... I am very new to learning how to really stay sober and curious what people keep in their sobriety tool box. I feel like the first thing I should put in mine is my gratitude. I have come so far from where I started and I have to be thankful for the journey that brought me here and all that I have over come since meth but now that my struggle is with alcohol I can't just move away and make different choices. I go to the grocery store to fill my water and I have to look my addiction.right in the face. So I'm curious what is your favorite tool???
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Old 04-19-2015, 01:45 AM
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Hi Valerie I am newly sober and the tool that helps me the most is reaching out. Getting sober is something that no one can do for us but it is something we can't do alone. Having support is really important for me and also just having people to talk to who know what I am going through and have had similar experiences. I go to AA and call my sponsor every day to be accountable and try to make sober friends. And SR is a great way to reach out and get feedback.
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Old 04-19-2015, 01:49 AM
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Kewl thread! My contribution:

Having contingency plans for difficult moments - and adding to the plan as you discover new triggers.
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Old 04-19-2015, 01:52 AM
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Hi Valerie

There's a link at the top of this forum about recovery plans and that's got some brilliant ideas. I really recommend that if you haven't already checked it out.

I have a few aspects to my toolbox. I go to meetings and my local addiction support centre. I also write every day and keep an ongoing list of things that help me during cravings like yoga, going for a walk and coming on this forum.
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Old 04-19-2015, 02:06 AM
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Hi

Im only 23 and starting sobriety and now i have found this site its made me more motivated to do it. They way i see it now is ive been fighting to drink harder then i have to stop drinking so actually i do have the power within me to stop, but i no its not that easy!

at the moment in finding boredom is when it gets me thinking about alcohol so instead i research alot on the internet, i keep a diary of how im feeling i do zumba in my home �� i look like a crazy person its so much fun ! I play alot of computer games also.

alot of people say about AA although this personally didn't work for me probably the area im from i walk out more irritated then when i walked in, ive had counselling for an eating disorder and that didn't work either so i moved back home and my mum counselled me and we used tools online to re educate my brain and now i can proudly say ive beaten the eating disorder but my drinking is now the problem...but if you have the will power and alot of things to distract you it makes it alot easier. MJ x
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Old 04-19-2015, 02:58 AM
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. I go to AA and call my sponsor every day to be accountable.

With the sponsor thing I had a bad experience. I started AA a few years ago and when I asked a woman that I wanted to be like she told me she would be my temporary sooner until I found a permanent one. She was going to school to be an addiction counselor at the time and I thought that's what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I feel like she gave me alot of wrong direction and made me feel uncomfortable with AA.
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Old 04-19-2015, 03:18 AM
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Every evening is a tool for me. Because I feel the same as I did in the morning. I had barely half a life on the booze and now I have full days.
When I sit down in the eveing to watch tv I am so grateful that I have made it through another day and I feel great. My weakness was always day time drinking.
I use how good I feel in the evening as a tool for the next day.
It is now 11am and I am going to visit my mother, maybe shopping or just chatting, but I know I can plan the day with a freedom I never had before.
And this evening I will be grateful once again.
Good luck, Keeping coming here.
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Old 04-19-2015, 03:21 AM
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Originally Posted by valeriemae0205 View Post
So I'm curious what is your favorite tool???
The knowledge that I am not required to do anything my AV tells me.
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Old 04-19-2015, 04:14 AM
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Hi.
Alcohol is powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious and will pounce on a “sober” person in a heartbeat. Getting into recovery and staying sober is not a wishy washy I don’t like this or that. It requires serious work on ourselves for the duration which is usually abandoned after a period of time which almost always results in unrecoverable relapses.

In my opinion people forget the pains we endured until getting sober and the pains getting sober.
My tools are remember when, being grateful, making many meetings even many years later, helping another alcoholic, becoming active in the program, not taking myself so seriously at times, having and USING a sponsor, working to lessen and recognize the reasons I drank, and much more including not picking up the first drink even if my A$$ falls off.

BE WELL
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Old 04-19-2015, 04:59 AM
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playing the tape through till the end …

One drink today i might get away with but it opens the door to two next week , a bottle the month after , 3 bottles 6 months after that and i'm right back worse than when i started .
Also it works by not romanticising the buzz , think of the long day hungover , the lasting low mood , the not washing properly or brushing my teeth .

Lot's of things spin out of control when i drink ,

So yer play the tape through , all the way … 1 hr , 6 hrs , 1 day , a week , a month , a year .

m
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Old 04-19-2015, 05:06 AM
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I don't know if this is a 'tool' so much, but it's something that's definitely worked for me these past few weeks.

It's brutal honesty, and complete self-awareness. At its root is mindfulness in everything I do. For the first time I'm catching myself when I get into old thinking habits, which allows me to recognize it (try not to judge) and then stop it in its tracks.

And it's not *just* cravings, but just general patterns of obsessive/anxious thinking that would were a part of my overall problem.
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Old 04-19-2015, 05:17 AM
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There's a lot of good suggestions in the following links

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

D
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Old 04-19-2015, 10:34 AM
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For me SR has been invaluable, I worked into my schedule in early Sobriety, the first thing I looked at when I woke, I checked it out on my lunch break and the first thing I looked at when I got home from work!!

I needed something outside of myself to give me a second opinion on things, keep me focused on the goal ahead.
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Old 04-19-2015, 10:47 AM
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I had to throw out my old toolbox and start a new one with shiny new tools. I was using a screwdriver (pun intended) when I needed a hammer. Didn't have a hammer...but now I do.

Having the wrong tools for the job is worse than having no tools because not only do you not fix the problem, you can make it worse.

My current set of tools is SR, mindfulness, staying as busy as possible, exercising, reading, and a big project of changing my life over all. That one needs a back hoe, sledge hammer and chainsaw.
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Old 04-19-2015, 10:55 AM
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1) I'm on SR every day. I don't always post, but the reading is always helpful for me, plus the sense of community is nice.

2) AVRT was a game changer for me. It put the responsibility for staying sober squarely on me. No one or nothing was going to save me, I have to save myself or I will remain unsaved.

3) Sometimes I reflect on how miserable and pathetic I was after a solid binge, and it's a pretty good deterrent. But more often I think forward to the things that I would like to have/achieve and have not. I've already discovered that I'm simply not going to do anything significant with my life while actively drinking. Now I need to try another way. When I get that itchy feeling like maybe I should have just one more binge, I think of the distance between where I am and where I want to be. Drinking got me where I am. Sobriety makes it more likely that I'll get closer to where I'd like to be. That usually helps a lot.
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Old 04-20-2015, 02:56 AM
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
I had to throw out my old toolbox and start a new one with shiny new tools. I was using a screwdriver (pun intended) when I needed a hammer. Didn't have a hammer...but now I do. Having the wrong tools for the job is worse than having no tools because not only do you not fix the problem, you can make it worse. My current set of tools is SR, mindfulness, staying as busy as possible, exercising, reading, and a big project of changing my life over all. That one needs a back hoe, sledge hammer and chainsaw.
I really love that analogy. I need a sledge hammer too!
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Old 04-20-2015, 03:33 AM
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I always liked the toolbox metaphor. Always felt that the more tools I had and used, the easier the ride would be, and the better the results. Important part for me though was to USE THEM, and not just have them sitting in the box. Knowledge is useless without action.

AA and the 12 steps were my hammer and screwdriver, especially in early recovery. 30 years into this I don't go to too many meetings any more, but the steps have become part of my life. I unconsciously live them. For the first 10 years sober though I went to lots and lots of meetings (mostly step and BB meetings), and pretty much always had an AA related commitment.

Other important tools for me are regular exercise, eating as healthfully as I can, and keeping my mind wide open for new ideas and experiences.

I have probably 100 or more other tools I use regularly, that I won't list, but I'd advise anyone interested to pick up the book Living Sober. It is an easy reading book FULL of awesome tools, especially for the newcomer.
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Old 04-20-2015, 03:51 AM
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Awesome link
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Old 04-20-2015, 04:07 AM
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Lately..
() Supreme cut back on idle time.
() Having a job that I am hyped about and work every week.. kinda above's notion.
() Reading religious books and books on our conditions
() Sometimes even FORCING myself to come onto SR to even just read if I don't want to post
() Being honest with everyone about what's going on with me
() Slowly but surely weeding out people not on the same day to day journey as me. Even if it's still friendly.
() More of a routine based living
() MAKING SURE MY STOMACH IS AS PURE AS MY THOUGHTS
() Not getting caught up in much entertainment *including social medias......*
() The practice of love!!!
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:00 AM
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Originally Posted by CharlesG View Post
Lately.. () Supreme cut back on idle time. () Having a job that I am hyped about and work every week.. kinda above's notion. () Reading religious books and books on our conditions () Sometimes even FORCING myself to come onto SR to even just read if I don't want to post () Being honest with everyone about what's going on with me () Slowly but surely weeding out people not on the same day to day journey as me. Even if it's still friendly. () More of a routine based living () MAKING SURE MY STOMACH IS AS PURE AS MY THOUGHTS () Not getting caught up in much entertainment *including social medias......* () The practice of love!!!
Charles

This is a great list, thank you for sharing. I especially appreciate the point about honesty.
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