Musician getting off booze, Day 4- Attempt #99
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 79
Great weekend! Huge party at my house, dj's, fiends, family's, kids, lots of drinks. Somehow it was really easy not to drink. There was beer everywhere and even friends with booze, heck one of my fiends brought the beer I left at his house and put it in my fridge, he obviously would not have wanted me to have it if he knew, he maybe had an idea. I had like one moment where I was sad I couldn't join in but just avoided it and played with the kids. I feel great, just was going to say how thankful I am not to be hungover and today was awesome as well. My wife was a bit hungover as she drank six beers and I just shined on and cleaned up the small mess and took the kids and even put up our above ground pool! I'm at the point where I am like happy not to be hungover and I can do what would be considered normal stuff. This site has been pretty much my own rehab type thing. I dunno maybe I am weird..... some people think so. I also say I am not drinking now and taking s break, it's easy to say to my friends and family that I may someday drink again on occasion but for now I am taking a break. To me this takes the anxiety out of making people think I am weird and uninvite me, ultimately it's my choice. When I'm a drunk my life is hard and sucky. Right now things are nice...... I have everything great now as far as how I am physically feeling. Still sad about the blackout disaster gig, I will see something or someone will say something. Moving on........ anyways today was a good day and I am really thankful not to be hungover and or still drinking! Winning for now!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 79
121 days no alcohol! Been challenging at times but gets easier as time goes on. I have not went to bars or music events so that makes it easier. I do feel like I want to drink some beers especially with the nice weather but not today!!!!! For me personally just focusing on not drinking each day not eternity and also allowing myself the opportunity to drink if absolutely necessary and not beating up on myself. But if I just stay the course and think about the present moment. 121 days is close to a record I think, I may have went longer before. Jeez am I high strung though. I workout like a crazy person and I have biceps popping out, I was once overweight. I don't see how I am so high strung or I guess I just don't understand. Alcohol used to be the way I would unwind and now I have been like psycho focused. My wife says I am different and high strung..... well at least not hungover and useless! Thanks for reading my stuff, this has been the only support I used to get me 121 days no alcohol. Thank you
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,447
Congrats on your milestone 
I'll offer some personal advice - think about some balance..I went from all play to all work and while I was productive I had no idea how to relax...it's really easy to start thinking just one drink will help me blow off steam...
Before you get to that point think about other healthy ways to relax and put them into action - everyone needs down time
D
I'll offer some personal advice - think about some balance..I went from all play to all work and while I was productive I had no idea how to relax...it's really easy to start thinking just one drink will help me blow off steam...
Before you get to that point think about other healthy ways to relax and put them into action - everyone needs down time
D
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 79
At Midnight it will be 150 days! It has been hard but really a great move and things have gotten easier! Not fun when everyone else is drinking. Its easy not to drink as time goes on... Thanks everyone!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 79
166 days today! The past week has been a challenge.... I have been called out on my January fiasco by some of my friends poking fun at me. They were all righteous in what they said and its the truth. I think they assumed I have gotten over it and did not realize how much it meant to me to fail so epically and publicly. The very well known and legendary promoter publically forgave me on the FB after I was able to help with a very tedious editing task that took hours to complete and months to setup. Our group is pretty hardcore, nothing is off limits. It is almost like a biker gang.... So I can imagine reading my disaster gives people a good chuckle. However after he publically forgave me he went down the list of all the things I did wrong, this was in a funny way and we are friends. I did not take any offense to it I am just ashamed at reality and what I all did. Then today I one of my friends sort of blast me also in a kind way stating that if I do what I did in January at the festival in August she was not going to babysit me. I can't agree more with her and I am seriously in her debt for watching over me as I was completely blacked out and making a fool of myself.... Ahh....
So in 21 days is the party of the summer.... Everyone I know will be at this very very special show where we camp out for 3 days and listen to techno music for 72 hours straight. We can only stay for 48 hours. My wife is going with me... I can guarantee she will be drinking all day with every single other person and then taking coke and E periodically. She will probably take some mushrooms or acid as well, maybe some nitrous oxide. I am having a hard time thinking about what I should do? I am ok with maybe taking E and that doesn't make me want alcohol. However, if I take acid I will want to drink so I have to make sure I don't get dosed by one of my friends. (I have been dosed before unknowingly). My other options are to maybe have a few beers and take it really easy OR the route I am thinking is to not drink and just use my MMJ as normal. I am scheduled to play the 2nd day at 3pm so that's good. This is the only party I am going to with my wife all summer (she has been partying and that's ok with me). We did go to a club gig where I DJed and she got drunk and did blow all night, I was cooking breakfast at 7am feeling great and she slept till noon! That was a big win. So I can't miss the party that is coming up as it is a part of my life and extended family. I am on the fence with what to do. I am ok with social rave drugs but I don't want people who the last time they saw me I was drunk and crying to see me with a beer in my hand and think that nothing has changed. Totally confused, I know my wife is going to put a E in my mouth, we usually have the time of our life. I am just so ashamed to party and I want to keep my chin up. Going to be nearly impossible to not drink unless I do E. Hope I don't get dosed unknowingly....
So in 21 days is the party of the summer.... Everyone I know will be at this very very special show where we camp out for 3 days and listen to techno music for 72 hours straight. We can only stay for 48 hours. My wife is going with me... I can guarantee she will be drinking all day with every single other person and then taking coke and E periodically. She will probably take some mushrooms or acid as well, maybe some nitrous oxide. I am having a hard time thinking about what I should do? I am ok with maybe taking E and that doesn't make me want alcohol. However, if I take acid I will want to drink so I have to make sure I don't get dosed by one of my friends. (I have been dosed before unknowingly). My other options are to maybe have a few beers and take it really easy OR the route I am thinking is to not drink and just use my MMJ as normal. I am scheduled to play the 2nd day at 3pm so that's good. This is the only party I am going to with my wife all summer (she has been partying and that's ok with me). We did go to a club gig where I DJed and she got drunk and did blow all night, I was cooking breakfast at 7am feeling great and she slept till noon! That was a big win. So I can't miss the party that is coming up as it is a part of my life and extended family. I am on the fence with what to do. I am ok with social rave drugs but I don't want people who the last time they saw me I was drunk and crying to see me with a beer in my hand and think that nothing has changed. Totally confused, I know my wife is going to put a E in my mouth, we usually have the time of our life. I am just so ashamed to party and I want to keep my chin up. Going to be nearly impossible to not drink unless I do E. Hope I don't get dosed unknowingly....
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
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" am ok with maybe taking E and that doesn't make me want alcohol. However, if I take acid I will want to drink so I have to make sure I don't get dosed by one of my friends. (I have been dosed before unknowingly). My other options are to maybe have a few beers and take it really easy OR the route I am thinking is to not drink and just use my MMJ as normal. I am scheduled to play the 2nd day at 3pm so that's good'
THAT reads like untreated alcoholism talkin.
THAT reads like 100% complete insanity
"I am on the fence with what to do. "
it reads like youre on the fence with sobriety.
THAT reads like untreated alcoholism talkin.
THAT reads like 100% complete insanity
"I am on the fence with what to do. "
it reads like youre on the fence with sobriety.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Hey DJ,
Look - I get the culture. I was a DJ, producer and party promotor about 15 years ago. I played at huge festivals, as well as the dirtiest of underground warehouses. I've had bouncers take my drugs and then give them back once they realized I was on the bill. Hell, I even got paid for a few gigs in drugs and free drinks. So I understand the desire to want to fit in with what people are doing, especially with your wife.
But here's the deal:
1. I used to think that almost everyone got high or drunk at parties because I was high or drunk. Looking back, that wasn't the case. Many sober people still can party and have a good time without substances.
2. At least for me, putting any kind of mind-altering substance in my body is just not an option. It doesn't matter if it's alcohol (the substance that really took me out), E, or even weed. This is because using these substances was all coming from the same place - the desire to not feel what I was feeling and the delusion that I needed external substances to have a good time. It is all a huge slippery slope.
So many times I thought a particular drug was my problem, so I stopped doing it, but then I thought it was ok to do something else because I hadn't abused it yet. But then that drug became a problem for me until it was on to the next one.
I didn't drink during my party days besides a couple of beers after playing. So I thought drugs were my problem, not alcohol. But the cold, hard truth is that I'm an addict and anything can become my problem. Within less than three years, in my late twenties/early 30s (I got sober at 31, I'm 35 now), I went from those two beers to drinking 5ths of vodka. Again, it was all coming from the same place. That urge to fill an unfillable void and the mindset that I needed substances to enjoy myself. I had to take everything off the table in or to achieve true recovery. If I was in your position, it would be going to the party completely sober (see #1) or not going at all.
3. You need to set clear boundaries with your wife about your sobriety. This is the woman you chose to spend the rest of your life with. There should not be any opportunity for her to slip a pill in your mouth or get dosed "accidentally." Tell her why your journey of sobriety is so important to you. Tell her than under no circumstance should she pressure you to get high; that she is free to do what she wants, but you are not going to partake. Part of this is your responsibility to have this conversation with her and your friends as well. If they don't get it, that's their problem. You have to protect you. Clear, defined boundaries are the only way to handle this. Otherwise, you might as well just skip everything except your slot.
Hope you get all this worked out and have a great time!
Look - I get the culture. I was a DJ, producer and party promotor about 15 years ago. I played at huge festivals, as well as the dirtiest of underground warehouses. I've had bouncers take my drugs and then give them back once they realized I was on the bill. Hell, I even got paid for a few gigs in drugs and free drinks. So I understand the desire to want to fit in with what people are doing, especially with your wife.
But here's the deal:
1. I used to think that almost everyone got high or drunk at parties because I was high or drunk. Looking back, that wasn't the case. Many sober people still can party and have a good time without substances.
2. At least for me, putting any kind of mind-altering substance in my body is just not an option. It doesn't matter if it's alcohol (the substance that really took me out), E, or even weed. This is because using these substances was all coming from the same place - the desire to not feel what I was feeling and the delusion that I needed external substances to have a good time. It is all a huge slippery slope.
So many times I thought a particular drug was my problem, so I stopped doing it, but then I thought it was ok to do something else because I hadn't abused it yet. But then that drug became a problem for me until it was on to the next one.
I didn't drink during my party days besides a couple of beers after playing. So I thought drugs were my problem, not alcohol. But the cold, hard truth is that I'm an addict and anything can become my problem. Within less than three years, in my late twenties/early 30s (I got sober at 31, I'm 35 now), I went from those two beers to drinking 5ths of vodka. Again, it was all coming from the same place. That urge to fill an unfillable void and the mindset that I needed substances to enjoy myself. I had to take everything off the table in or to achieve true recovery. If I was in your position, it would be going to the party completely sober (see #1) or not going at all.
3. You need to set clear boundaries with your wife about your sobriety. This is the woman you chose to spend the rest of your life with. There should not be any opportunity for her to slip a pill in your mouth or get dosed "accidentally." Tell her why your journey of sobriety is so important to you. Tell her than under no circumstance should she pressure you to get high; that she is free to do what she wants, but you are not going to partake. Part of this is your responsibility to have this conversation with her and your friends as well. If they don't get it, that's their problem. You have to protect you. Clear, defined boundaries are the only way to handle this. Otherwise, you might as well just skip everything except your slot.
Hope you get all this worked out and have a great time!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Why can't you just not do any E or any drugs or any booze. Just be sober and have a blast. Why can't you do it that way? "You keep dancing with the devil, you gonna get burned." Your wife doesn't have your best interest in mind. That must be very difficult. Good luck and keep us posted.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,447
This is a recovery site - noones going to recommend you do coke and E and acid and shrooms and whatever else.
There's no such thing as a lesser evil - trust me I tried to find one.
There's a great peace and joy to be found in not being enslaved to any substances.
It's a shame your wife is not on board with recovery but you have a choice now
what's best for you...and do you have the courage to follow that path?
I hope you do. You won't regret it.
D
There's no such thing as a lesser evil - trust me I tried to find one.
There's a great peace and joy to be found in not being enslaved to any substances.
It's a shame your wife is not on board with recovery but you have a choice now
what's best for you...and do you have the courage to follow that path?
I hope you do. You won't regret it.
D
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
I totally get where you are coming from being a musician. I've been to these 3 day "events" and know how hard core the parting goes. It's non stop and there is so much of everything available to take.
You mentioned taking E...
Why take anything ? Why ?
Why open that door at all?
Why not just drive up for your band's slot.... play and ditch it back to hotel or home. I'd be firm with "friends" do not dose me. Bring your own drinks and keep them away from everyone.
Sorry ..I'm being a party pooper.
You mentioned taking E...
Why take anything ? Why ?
Why open that door at all?
Why not just drive up for your band's slot.... play and ditch it back to hotel or home. I'd be firm with "friends" do not dose me. Bring your own drinks and keep them away from everyone.
Sorry ..I'm being a party pooper.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Hi all.. busy summer so far... my Eddie Lee is doing so much better.. even his Mom this weekend noticed the change.. he has moments of the mind wandering and when he is driving.. I pray a lot..
djmchammered 166 days kiddo that is a Huge WOOT WOOT.. from this end of Wisconsin.... you are still young to an extent... we had dinner in early July with some pals of mine in music.. and now that we are older.. ekekek over 60... the chatter went back to the days when.. they passed the stories around the table Hey Man Remember when we all.. and Remember all the great times.. but know what they have to be together to piece the time and life of that Great time back together for none of them remember a complete thought on the Great Time... parts snipetts and little bits.. some times it makes me sad.. for when they add me in the mix .. its always. ok Doll.. tell me what it was like in 1985 and I came off stage to the side room again... I can tell them clothes day night last song temp stars in the sky and what they were handed the minute they came off stage... my old friends of song... lost another this last week ... I found out by accident.. could hear something on my shoulder and ran his name.. just a little rock and roll group from the 1960's to 1990's in a little bit of God's County Indian Head Wisconsin... still is hard today Steven you would have turned 68 in a month.. and so many would be 68 next year for our class reunion of 50 years.. 1968 to being 68 in 2018........that silly kid with a flash of a smile and a quick rift................his heart gave out..... I keep saying they have gone on to another gig and off stage left there is a place in the wings for a chair and a clown wig that waits..... I did drink not as much as all of them or you all.. maybe we all have demons that we are trying to run from or shut the door on............ the Demons don't go away as you get older they just have different masks they wear...... got to hug a young lady that was part of the Zombie Frat House movie we were in .. Rach... had not seen her in 6 years.. we cried and jumped up and down in a circle much to the delight of so many shoppers.. and our hubby's... maybe that little bit helped hide some of her demons and mine at least for the next few days.......
The Fair Starts on the 3rd of August and Drop Kick Murphy is Aug 9th... we will be there not as close as our tickets sit us tho.. ekekke no but I will do photos and video's of all around us for Eddie Lee in the Winter... come find the Lady clown and smile kiddo smile.. click.. ahahahah the clown with a camera for all of the days to come...
ok so the old lady is wandering.. Hugs so proud that you have hit the ground running and 166 days kiddo its almost a year.. wooot wooot. love ardy
djmchammered 166 days kiddo that is a Huge WOOT WOOT.. from this end of Wisconsin.... you are still young to an extent... we had dinner in early July with some pals of mine in music.. and now that we are older.. ekekek over 60... the chatter went back to the days when.. they passed the stories around the table Hey Man Remember when we all.. and Remember all the great times.. but know what they have to be together to piece the time and life of that Great time back together for none of them remember a complete thought on the Great Time... parts snipetts and little bits.. some times it makes me sad.. for when they add me in the mix .. its always. ok Doll.. tell me what it was like in 1985 and I came off stage to the side room again... I can tell them clothes day night last song temp stars in the sky and what they were handed the minute they came off stage... my old friends of song... lost another this last week ... I found out by accident.. could hear something on my shoulder and ran his name.. just a little rock and roll group from the 1960's to 1990's in a little bit of God's County Indian Head Wisconsin... still is hard today Steven you would have turned 68 in a month.. and so many would be 68 next year for our class reunion of 50 years.. 1968 to being 68 in 2018........that silly kid with a flash of a smile and a quick rift................his heart gave out..... I keep saying they have gone on to another gig and off stage left there is a place in the wings for a chair and a clown wig that waits..... I did drink not as much as all of them or you all.. maybe we all have demons that we are trying to run from or shut the door on............ the Demons don't go away as you get older they just have different masks they wear...... got to hug a young lady that was part of the Zombie Frat House movie we were in .. Rach... had not seen her in 6 years.. we cried and jumped up and down in a circle much to the delight of so many shoppers.. and our hubby's... maybe that little bit helped hide some of her demons and mine at least for the next few days.......
The Fair Starts on the 3rd of August and Drop Kick Murphy is Aug 9th... we will be there not as close as our tickets sit us tho.. ekekke no but I will do photos and video's of all around us for Eddie Lee in the Winter... come find the Lady clown and smile kiddo smile.. click.. ahahahah the clown with a camera for all of the days to come...
ok so the old lady is wandering.. Hugs so proud that you have hit the ground running and 166 days kiddo its almost a year.. wooot wooot. love ardy
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