Verte

(((EG, Mary Ann and family)))

When I have had the experience of being a patient in crazy circumstances or environs, my sibs have been the keepers of the lip balm, readers of stories and generators of smiles, laughs and levity. You are all in a really tough place but that you are there together is a blessing. Your presence is a big, giant fuchsia sparkle bow-wrapped present!

As you know thoroughly understanding the science of something does not necessarily make an experience easier. Similar to your sister Mary Ann, you have been 'all heart' for us on SR and are likely 'all heart' in real life as well. Take care of your heart!

Thanks for the update EG. Great thoughts and prayers ballooning up and out!

ArtFriend

I hope she recovers quickly and is bad to her old self ASAP! Praying for Mary Ann, you, your mom and other sister.

Gonnachange

Thank you for taking the time to post. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your sister, and the rest of your family.

Aellyce

Good crash course on neuroanatomy / physiology there

Again, if her mind is any way similar with such processes to mine: it's that every more specific revelation, information, whatever that sheds some light on a disturbing mystery is good news, or better than uncertainty and not knowing. Even if it's very bad news and/or news that brings additional or unexpected challenges, it's perceived as progress relative to stagnation and lack of (even if only short term) perspective. Then you have some stuff to work with, instead of nothing or only guesses. Again, it's related to problem solving - now there is a specific, more defined problem. For me all this is usually super powerful and provides new focus and renewed motivation. I use it in my work all the time, and maybe Mary Ann does as well. Perhaps she's also relieved that finally she was forced into the doctors vs her earlier resistance and history with such things. Just speculations...

I'm sure that she will do her best to recover from this within realistic limitations of the situations. And it sounds like the family you guys have is a true blessing!

EndGameNYC

When I went to visit her when she was having symptoms, Mary Ann joked about having a brain tumor. On some level, and with her avoiding doctors for most of her adult life, she must have guessed that there was "something wrong." She also brought up, again, the idea of moving in with her last week. She lives alone in a house in Long Island. Given the events of the past several days, I'm starting to lean in that direction. We'll see.

biminiblue

Oh, my. Well, it certainly sounds like she may need a little help for a while. You're a good bro.

Aellyce

That fits with what I imagined based on your descriptions. I was also going to mention this in my first post today: that from what you mentioned it sounds like she is the kind of person who does not only want to be "self-sufficient" regarding problems, but this independence comes with standing alone in her life in other ways as well -- since you did not mention her having children or a significant other, stuff like that. All this attitude and behavior will inevitably lead to someone feeling lonely and scared at times, especially when facing very difficult challenges that cannot be resolved simply by taking action and responsibility. Again, very familiar, not only from my own life but also from others close to me: my dad again, and I had an ex of whom your sister's story really reminded me of. The ex was a very strong character, always with "bigger than life" ideas and projects, super successful career, very independent and charismatic, always the kind of person who would go out of his way to protect the people in his circles, but denying a lot of his own needs and often the reality of his situation. Won't go into more details here but there was also a neurological issue involved that he did not take seriously enough. I hope your sister will. But again, I suggest that you guys not push her by telling her what to do...

As for moving in with her... well, give some time to that thought, it's really not the best moment to decide, I think.

Carlotta

I was thinking of you and your sister today. I think it is really awesome that you are sober and able to be present for her when she needs you.

((hugs))

EndGameNYC

My sister is out of surgery, and the surgeon said it went as well as could be expected. She's now resting comfortably.

EndGameNYC

No one pushes my sister by telling her what to do. She often has what I consider to be brilliant ideas that are elegant in their simplicity. What she takes as obvious, many of us see as something like genius. And, yes, she's a big-time problem solver. About her neglecting her physical and mental health, I can only wonder that this is part of the way she functions in the best possible way for her. It's a huge blind spot that I believe many people who approach life in the way that she does suffer from.

She acquired her professional status and achievements without the benefit of a complete liberal college education. Never studied banking or business. She taught herself to speak French, and studied philosophy on her own after having had a good experience with a philosophy professor...and with a little prodding from her brother. She's been to Paris several times, and has offered her expertise in setting up itineraries for people making their first trip.

I'm happy that things are going well with her so far.

ArtFriend

Glad the surgery went well! Must be a relief for you!!

Aellyce

Now that really sounds like my father. He did not have much formal education either, never went to college, etc. But taught college courses based on the expertise that he acquired completely on his own terms and in his own way. He also had some quite revolutionary contributions to his chosen and self-taught field during his 50's and 60's, including a unique collection of plants that one of the most significant botanic gardens will take over from him apparently soon this spring as he's no longer able to take care of them so much on his own. I think he likes that his life work and name will survive like that for the upcoming generations. Never went to the doctors and always hated everything about doctors and hospitals (when it was about him). Still does. He has a lot of issues now that I'm sure could be helped after some new examinations and with medical care. He says he won't go to the hospital because they would kill him. Would not give him his herbal teas that he knows and makes for himself, for example. And doctors are sloppy anyway. I am really the only person he trusts with just about anything at this point. Old age seems to be what has finally "broke him"... kind of. At least in ways that he acknowledges that now this is beyond his control and stuff he can figure out and influence. It really made him very scared, even paranoid at times, and also sometimes clingy in ways that I find difficult to handle. He has also brought up multiple times that maybe I could move back to our country, at least transiently, and live with him... and I did consider it multiple times over the past ~2-3 years. Again, not something I want to discuss right now in more detail, but we can later if you are interested, it's a very complex issue for me and I need some external help with it because I got lost in it in the end (just recently).

You guys do sound like some quite outstanding bunch of people, and also people who continuously strive to be that way. Very cool
I'm glad the surgery went well and hope that she can have some good rest.

Gonnachange

Thanks for sharing the good news about your sister's surgery.

Notimetoloose

EG, it is lovely to hear how proud you sound of your sister. Thank you for the update, I hope it is a good long term prognosis.

Verte

Yesterday I came across the travel guide Quiet Paris by Siobhan Wall and it was lovely. Maybe while her brain is resting you could read some descriptors of Parisian gardens and bookstores? Springtime in Paris!

feeling-good

Good thoughts and prayers for your sister's recovery

EndGameNYC

Umm...Yeah. No.

That would be like feeding a lion by hand rather than leaving her to do it herself.

Verte

oh boy.

strategery

I am so sorry to hear about your sister. Sending hugs and prayers for you, her and your family.

Very happy to hear the surgery went well for her.

Aellyce

About the "lion" (or whatever animal symbol). This is from another good friend of mine (the composer and who plays and shows her face in the video).