Blogs


Notices

The other shoe drops.

Old 03-07-2015, 02:41 PM
  # 101 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,605
Blog Entries: 1
Continued best wishes to you and your sister

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-07-2015)
Old 03-07-2015, 02:45 PM
  # 102 (permalink)  
Member
 
Cathryn2001's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 551
Thank you for the updates--I've been thinking of you both!
Cathryn2001 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Cathryn2001 For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-07-2015)
Old 03-07-2015, 04:02 PM
  # 103 (permalink)  
orangutan
 
aussieblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,758
More prayers for your sister and your family.
aussieblue is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to aussieblue For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-07-2015)
Old 03-07-2015, 04:12 PM
  # 104 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,855
Thoughts are with you both!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to PurpleKnight For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-07-2015)
Old 03-07-2015, 04:50 PM
  # 105 (permalink)  
EndGame
Thread Starter
 
EndGameNYC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,497
Mary Ann has been home for a few hours. We just finished eating pizza. She said the food at the hospital sucked (What are the odds?), so she was eating fruit every day.

Her surgeon told her that it's possible that there is a primary cancer responsible for her brain tumor, and he specified her lungs, breasts and colon. She needs to be tested when she's back on her feet. I'll be staying with her this week. Her walking is shaky, and she'll probably need help getting things done for herself, and I can help monitor her medications.

She's been on the nicotine patch since Tuesday, and says she hasn't had any cravings. Of course, everyone on the staff told her several times that she needs to stop smoking, and she seems ready to give it an honest attempt. We'll see. She also hasn't had a drink since Tuesday and, as of now, is looking forward to having one.

For anyone reading this who has yet to take advantage of this site, I can say from my recent experience and from what I've observed since I've been here that there is an enormous amount of support available on SR that truly makes a difference. Please don't deny yourself of the help you need.

Thank you again to each of you who have made this much more manageable for me than would otherwise be the case. I'm extremely touched and better for the experience.
EndGameNYC is online now  
The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to EndGameNYC For This Useful Post:
AliWProk (04-20-2015), ArtFriend (03-09-2015), aussieblue (05-11-2015), bemyself (04-18-2015), Berrybean (04-19-2015), biminiblue (03-08-2015), brighterlife (03-09-2015), Carlotta (03-08-2015), chicory (03-09-2015), courage2 (03-09-2015), Della1968 (03-07-2015), Flawed (03-09-2015), Gonnachange (03-07-2015), Hawkeye13 (03-08-2015), Kris47 (03-14-2015), PurpleKnight (03-07-2015), RobbyRobot (03-07-2015), Sasha4 (03-09-2015), SoberLeigh (03-09-2015), Venecia (03-09-2015), Verte (03-07-2015)
Old 03-07-2015, 05:00 PM
  # 106 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
Again, glad your sister is home and doing well. One of the benefits of living in the NYC area is that we have access to some of the finest medical care on the planet without having to travel very far. Going forward I wish a full and speedy recovery for your sister.
Gonnachange is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Gonnachange For This Useful Post:
chicory (03-09-2015), EndGameNYC (03-08-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 07:40 AM
  # 107 (permalink)  
EndGame
Thread Starter
 
EndGameNYC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,497
It's all catching up to me...the emotional impact of all that's happened.

My sister remains in good spirits and is now going a little stir crazy. She's not used to sitting around. She talks about possibly losing her job as a result of her condition, and especially if it turns out that her tumor was an indication of cancer elsewhere in her body. I don't tell her not to worry about it. She'll worry no matter what I say, and for where she is now in the process, it's quite natural to focus on everyday concerns so as not to spend too much worrying about what she may be up against in terms of her health. Now that she's home and I'm back at work, she'll have plenty of time on her own to think about her mortality. Of course, I'll be here to listen and do whatever else she needs to get through this.

Not a single thought about drinking on my part. I see my therapist about once a month, basically for maintenance, and I'm seeing her this Friday. Also still going to meetings. I noticed over the weekend that it's been difficult for me to keep my mind on the things I need to do for myself, but doing my regular stuff has always been a big help for me, even though there are several moments when I stop and think about what's happening. My father died of lung cancer twenty years ago, a couple of months after someone else close to me died, also of cancer, so the memories -- actually the feelings attached to those memories -- are pushing their way to the forefront. I'm very sad. I'm only grateful that I'm able to be there for her.

It was good to see my family. I have two brothers, one who lives in California and the other, a doctor, who lives in New Hampshire. They were all here at different times during the week and over the weekend. Also Mary Ann and another sister who lives in Long Island. It was great to see and experience all the support.

Thanks again for all your support here on SR.
EndGameNYC is online now  
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to EndGameNYC For This Useful Post:
AliWProk (04-20-2015), alphaomega (03-09-2015), ArtFriend (03-09-2015), aussieblue (05-11-2015), bemyself (04-18-2015), biminiblue (03-09-2015), CodeJob (04-19-2015), courage2 (03-09-2015), Della1968 (03-09-2015), Fandy (03-09-2015), Gonnachange (03-09-2015), Hawkeye13 (03-09-2015), Kris47 (03-14-2015), RobbyRobot (03-09-2015), SoberLeigh (03-09-2015), Venecia (03-09-2015), Verte (03-09-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 08:16 AM
  # 108 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hawkeye13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 9,361
I'm very glad to hear you are holding strong in sobriety, and are getting
regular therapy support.

I'm the same as your sister--sitting around is almost worse than being sick

Continued good wishes to you both.
Maybe some decadent only-found-in-NYC ice cream and another fantastic deli sandwich will take her mind off holding still and mending. . .
Hawkeye13 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Hawkeye13 For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-09-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 08:19 AM
  # 109 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 20,388
Prayers going out to you both today, EndGame. You are a shining example to us all.
biminiblue is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to biminiblue For This Useful Post:
Berrybean (04-19-2015), EndGameNYC (03-09-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 08:28 AM
  # 110 (permalink)  
p***enger
 
courage2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 16,259
Thinking of you, and hoping that whatever comes, you're able to continue to offer caring support for your sister, and receive it from others.

((EG))
courage2 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to courage2 For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-09-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 08:33 AM
  # 111 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
EndGame, I'm glad that your sister is in good spirits and that you are staying sober and finding the support you need.
Gonnachange is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Gonnachange For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-09-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 09:14 AM
  # 112 (permalink)  
EndGame
Thread Starter
 
EndGameNYC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,497
Originally Posted by Gonnachange View Post
EndGame, I'm glad that your sister is in good spirits and that you are staying sober and finding the support you need.
Still following your thread, GC. Keep on going. There's nothing "back there" that will make anything in your life better.
EndGameNYC is online now  
Old 03-09-2015, 11:00 AM
  # 113 (permalink)  
EndGame
Thread Starter
 
EndGameNYC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,497
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 View Post
I'm very glad to hear you are holding strong in sobriety, and are getting
regular therapy support.

I'm the same as your sister--sitting around is almost worse than being sick

Continued good wishes to you both.
Maybe some decadent only-found-in-NYC ice cream and another fantastic deli sandwich will take her mind off holding still and mending. . .
Thanks, Hawkeye.

You're right about the food. She looks like she lost at least ten pounds while in the hospital, and now she's on steroids and is constantly hungry. I went out yesterday and got her some of her favorites.
EndGameNYC is online now  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to EndGameNYC For This Useful Post:
alphaomega (03-09-2015), bemyself (04-18-2015), courage2 (03-09-2015), Kris47 (03-14-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 11:33 AM
  # 114 (permalink)  
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
 
alphaomega's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,741
Blog Entries: 15
Thinking about you everyday Endgame.

Lean on us, so we may be the strength for you that you have offered so many of us, so selflessly.

Grateful for you. So please, take care of you, K ?

XO AO
alphaomega is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to alphaomega For This Useful Post:
ArtFriend (03-09-2015), EndGameNYC (03-09-2015), Kris47 (03-14-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 11:53 AM
  # 115 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 115,471
I am continuing to keep you, your sister and your family in my thoughts and prayers, EndGame.
SoberLeigh is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-09-2015), Kris47 (03-14-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 05:58 PM
  # 116 (permalink)  
Member
 
Venecia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,810
Thank you for the update, EndGame.

I join others here in extending my most hopeful wishes for Mary Ann.

You noted that it's hard to keep your mind on the things you need to do for yourself. I can certainly see how that would be the case during this time of uncertainty and fear. I hope that you practice good self-care. Those occasional cups of coffee and the NYT. A walk outside -- probably all the sweeter after the winter you've had. Even a little nap or extra shower. As insignificant as they may seem, those little respites help.
Venecia is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Venecia For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-09-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 06:03 PM
  # 117 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,844
I'm still with you in all of this.
You have my support, my best wishes and love.

xx
Sasha4 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Sasha4 For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-09-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 06:14 PM
  # 118 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 81
She sounds like such a lovely person. I can tell from your post that you care deeply. She is so lucky to have a person such as you in her corner.

Wish you all the very best.
Boylan is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Boylan For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-09-2015)
Old 03-09-2015, 06:59 PM
  # 119 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 6,882
thinking of you, EndGame.
and so wonderful you have a supportive and compassionate family, pulling together.
fini is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to fini For This Useful Post:
EndGameNYC (03-09-2015)
Old 03-13-2015, 07:40 AM
  # 120 (permalink)  
EndGame
Thread Starter
 
EndGameNYC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,497
Update

We're going to the hospital later today to have my sister's staples removed. She'll then meet with her surgeon. When enough time has passed since her surgery, she'll have a few different tests for cancer based on different parts of her body.

After her initial shock and her putting aside the seriousness of her condition, her mood visibly dropped. She's worried about losing her job, and she got her financial matters in order. She spends a lot of time at home, by herself, so I give her my time whenever I'm there. I encourage her to talk about what's going on with her, knowing that she doesn't want to burden me with her troubles. I mostly listen.

In my original OP, I commented on my concern for my sister's drinking habits prior to her surgery. I asked her the other day whether or not she had thoughts about drinking or had cravings for wine. She said, "not at all," and I've seen no evidence to contradict this.

As I wrote earlier, my sister rarely went to see a doctor, and hadn't had a physical in years. As the years went by, she suspected that "something was wrong" the more she avoided getting checked out. Her smoking and more recent near-daily drinking only made her anxiety much worse. She couldn't even bring herself to talk about getting a physical.

I've been doing what I've been doing for a very long time. In terms of medical problems (and perhaps many other things in life), when you don't know, your anxiety is generally out of control, and this adversely influences virtually every part of your life. (As with drinking, we continue to drink because of our anxieties around the problems that drinking brings, only making things worse.) When you do know, anxiety subsides or at least is transferred to something tangible, something that can be treated. You then have an opportunity to channel all that wasted fear, the wasted energy, by doing the things that are necessary to heal. Some people here might call this "acceptance."
EndGameNYC is online now  
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to EndGameNYC For This Useful Post:
AliWProk (04-20-2015), ArtFriend (03-13-2015), aussieblue (05-11-2015), Bebrave (05-03-2015), bemyself (04-18-2015), Gonnachange (03-13-2015), Hawkeye13 (03-13-2015), Kris47 (03-14-2015), LBrain (03-14-2015), RobbyRobot (03-13-2015), SoberLeigh (03-13-2015), Verte (03-13-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:28 AM.