SoberLeigh

Prayers continue, EndGame, for you, your sister and your family.

You are a good brother.

EndGameNYC

Hey Robbie.

Thank you so much for your thoughts.

I know you know this...that sobriety grants us the gift and the orientation to help those who are suffering.

People in my family tend to want to do things, to accomplish things, on our own. Just like a lot of folks here. When Mary Ann and I were speaking yesterday, and we were talking about the power of support, I told her that I never would have gotten sober without the tremendous amount of support I received. Besides not drinking, support was the most indispensable component of my recovery.

Kris47

Hope today will be a good day for you both in the midst of everything.

Gonnachange

Hope it's been a good day for your sister, you, and the rest of your family.

Aellyce

Hello, my friend.

Just read the latest updates... I'm so sorry about the news your sister received. All this must feel a bit unreal to both of you, and you are handling it extremely well. I am glad that Mary Ann lets you be with her and support her through this, given her generally very independent spirit. The power of support (both on the side of the giver and receiver) is definitely something that is not easy to imagine before experiencing it first hand and she has someone outstanding to experience it with in the current situation.
I hope for the best possible treatment approach for Mary Ann.

Dee74

Continuing best wishes thoughts and prayers for you and your sister and family EndGame.

My ex mother in law is going through something very similar right now and, against most medical opinion, is doing well and making great strides to full recovery.

I wish the same for MaryAnn.
D

EndGameNYC

Thanks Dee.

I'm happy to see that you're up and around.

Verte

How is your day going today, EndGame? How about your Monday, how was that as well?

hopeful4

EG, continued prayers for you and your family from me also. It is great that she sounds like she is ready to put her health before her work life now. Sometimes it takes something pretty awful to make change.

Hugs to you both!

EndGameNYC

Hi Verte.

Thanks again for your continuing support. And thank all of you for your thoughts and your support. It makes a difference.

Mary Ann is holding up fairly well.

She has appointments with a radiologist and with someone who specializes in chemotherapy (I think) on Friday. I generally don't work on Fridays, so I'll be able to go with her.

She's been driving doctor-approved short distances since the weekend. She's been going stir crazy at home, and it's probably a good thing that she can get around on her own, though I went with her on the weekend.

She's concerned about her job, but not excessively so. She's preparing herself emotionally and in other ways should her treatment prevent her from returning as quickly as they may want her to. Her supervisor is a good and brilliant man who's formed a strong emotional attachment with my sister, and who would do anything for her. His supervisor, the CEO, is a high-achievement and business-first woman who, despite being thrilled with my sister's work, always refers to the bottom line when making decisions. So there's that.

As for me, I've been staying with her for the time being, and I'm leaning towards staying with her for the long-term, depending on what we learn this week and next about her treatment. My family and I are grateful that I'm able to be here for her. It would be very difficult for my siblings to spend a great deal of time with her, and impossible for my aging mother to do so.

I get anxious when I leave for work each day, but I've got her trained to call me if she needs me to come home or to pick up anything she might need while I'm out. I've been down this path before with other people in my life, so I'm not surprised that I'm able to focus very well at work, more than it seems is routine for me. I also continue to work out at the dojo a few times a week, which has become one of my safe places, and where I can again focus in the moment while relieving stress.

Mary Ann's life has been turned upside down in a dramatic way, and both of our priorities have since changed. I don't feel burdened or put out, and my only concern is that she get well. We've always talked a lot, so it's not a chore for us to discuss painful matters or to help each other laugh.

Life is once again and truly one day at a time.

Thanks again.

EndGameNYC

I should add that it's been comforting for me to read and otherwise participate here on SR.

Kris47

Sending well wishes and more prayers your way.

LBrain

well wishes for Mary Ann and you too EG... do your best as usual but don't over tax yourself if you know what I mean.

EndGameNYC

I've been experiencing fatigue for at least the past several days, and I finally surrendered to it today.

Yesterday I forced myself to take care of my responsibilities, and all but collapsed when I got back to my sister's house. I sat and watched TV with her for awhile, until she went to bed.

I woke up this morning after a night of broken sleep, including nightmares and making an amends I've been putting off (in my dream). I never call in sick for work, but I just couldn't get myself to do it today. Lots of aches and pains, and feeling as though I'd just been through a fight. Did nothing all day, pretty much guilt-free. People in different parts of my life are supportive, often very much so, and it all helps.

Mary Ann seems to be holding up well, and I've noticed that I carry a lot of anxiety for her, which is new to me. And then there is the exhausting rebound afterwards. And probably during. We talk, we laugh...but there's a permanent elephant in the room, and I know she's suffering, both with her condition and with the uncertainty of it all.

Next week is gamma radiation surgery for tiny brain tumors. I think my other sister is taking her, which would be a break for me. I accompany my sister to all her appointments, and I'm ordinarily happy to do so. We've waited for a couple of hours or more once we've gotten there on more than one occasion, but I learned patience during my sobriety. I'm very good at entertaining myself, and I'm happy to be there for and with her. But this would be perhaps a necessary break for me, though I imagine I'll go along anyway.

On a positive note, I was invited to teach at another university today, starting in the fall semester. Always nice to have something to look forward to, but I wasn't able to muster up any enthusiasm for it.

Thanks again for all your support.

Venecia

Hi, EndGame,

No surprise that this has all caught up with you. Your body is telling you that it, along with the rest of you, needed a break. Which you recognize, of course. I hope that a day of doing nothing was therapeutic.

Along with the rest of SR, I continue to hold Mary Ann and you in my thoughts. Yes, an elephant in the room for everyone in your world, but I'm hopeful for her.

At some point, I hope the new university opportunity registers a little "yee-ha!". Knock yourself out -- get a *really* expensive, caloric coffee drink or something equally enough out of the ordinary to qualify as celebratory. Maybe get something at Zabar's and then come back and write about it in gloating detail. I still remember a pear-ginger muffin there as being the best I'd ever tasted.

Take good care.

Della1968

Everything Velencia said. You and yours continue to be in my thoughts.

MythOfSisyphus

Take care of yourself, too, EG! It's easy to get wrapped up helping others to the point where you let yourself go. Get some rest!

Kris47

Take time out for you, too. Hugs..............

SoberLeigh

Take good care of endgame; he is important to many and to us.

biminiblue

More prayers for your peace and your sister's health.