ubntubnt

There is really nothing I can add that the folks here on this site have not said. Only one thing to say, there are times in your life J where it is not a weakness to listen to those around you, even lean on them. Sometimes people know what is better for you better than yourself even. Happened to me a few times when I lost focus. Seems that the whole forum is pleading with you to see some sense and check in to inpatient. They have said it over and over again so that you do not just hear it but LISTEN to it.
Please don't say you don't know what to do....you do....go to inpatient. It's only a first step but it's the biggest one and the most important.

Good luck buddy, not nice to read this thread today and i feel for you. Your addiction is no different than anyone else's. We have all lived our own hell. I am still in mine but trying so hard to come out the other side. I hope that you can listen to the folks here. They have more collective experience than you and I combined times 1000.

Go to inpatient and get you life back, mate.

Alphabet

You're not alone. We are right here with you.

Thatdeliveryguy

Lost? Just lost, alcohol is winning! Nothing more I can say.

least

Only because you let it. I hope you get off your duff and go to inpatient soon.

Nuudawn

What can you DO Jeremy to end the game its winning? Getting yourself all riled about and feeling sorry for yourself is playing right into your addiction's evil hands...and you know it. What does this post mean Jeremy? Does it mean you're upset and drinking again???

You have to STOP the cycle of addiction. I'm starting to fear that SR is becoming a pawn in your AV's hands.

Thatdeliveryguy

A pawn in my AV's hands I am not deceiving anyone, I am not lying or trying to convice anyone of anything. Don't want to reply, don't reply. What can I say.....

Serenidad

Can you send someone your address through a private message and have them call 911 or treatment for you? Would that make it easier? If I lived close to you I would come help you. Do you have friends or family that would help you? I bet they love you very much and would help you....

jryan19982

Not really sure what else you want us to say. Or why you want us to say it. Call 911, Im sure they would agree you need the inpatient and will get you in. Its not funny what you are doing. You are drinking while posting and say alcohol is winning? Why can you be winning? I highly suggest,if you can, to read this thread subjectively like if it was someone else, and you will see that getting help and stop drinking is best.

RobbyRobot

Alcohol is not winning, Jeremy. Its very true you're in dire straits, seriously dire. Nobody could be happy or successful dealing with what your dealing with WHILE DRINKING. Its the booze my friend. Not the mental illness which is doing you wrong right now. Its the booze that needs to be put down and out. That action alone will help you the most right now and later as well.

Nuudawn

I really hope you're not drinking right now Jeremy. I really, really hope you get yourself into inpatient rehab. People here care about you...

It seems your addiction is even using posts here to justify itself. I'm putting you in my Godbox.

I'm out.

OklaBH

The question is " do you want this to end ? Do you want to feel better? Do you want to enjoy your life?" None of it'd possible while your drinking. I don't think you gave outpatient a real shot . You have to go inpatient before somebody gets hurt

BackToSquareOne

Most cities have crisis intervention workers. The police can put you in touch or look the number up if you think you need it. They make all the arrangements for you if you're not up to it.

2muchpain

I just think it is absolutely AMAZING how much people have tried to help Jeremy!!!! When you look at all the threads Jeremy has started and all the responses he got....well....I've never seen anything like it, including AA meetings. It just shows me that there really are people out there that do care. You guys are awesome!!!!!!!!!! John

Xtreem

I hope I always wish people luck and good will along their journey.

But... I usually don't see the point of discussing options with a person that is actively using or drinking. I think in order for the person to hear and be open to the message they must first be capable of hearing it. A person in the middle of drinking or drugging does not hear my message, as they are usually to busy trying to think of what to say next.

Wishing you the best ;-)

Thatdeliveryguy

but this isn't about Jeremy, I lurked here on the threads for a long time but afraid to post. I have issues with drinking and gambling and mental issues, I am sincere and post my reality. So is this about Jeremy.... NO its not, this community is awesome and supportive regardless of the individual. Even in my diluted state I believe that.

I am so grateful for all the support, I can't define what is going on with this post.I am taken aback and truly in awe with all the responses, thank you all.

jryan19982

I think this will conclude my posts on this thread.

If it is inspiring and you are truly grateful show us and go to inpatient. and stop drinking bud. Come on you can do it.

Anna

You are in my prayers, Jeremy.

SoberComposer

Completely agree. Your addiction is out of your control and you should seek inpatient.. if you don't then this will only get worse. Once you get some good time and support infrastructure set-up then you will begin to get in-control of your life and it will put alcohol in perspective for you. I know if I ever drink again I will be stranded out there and so I simply don't' drink again. Its not an option for me. It's simple when you don't play games with it. We are all different and stopped at different stages but there was a time I felt like you. Seemingly utterly helpless and a complete and docile subject for my addiction to run amuck on.

Get the tools you need to begin your recovery! Go to impatient and stop playing games. If not, you may find that you have run out of time. Seize your life!

Much Respect Dear Friend

HotSauceJeff

You are deceiving the person that matters the most.... YOURSELF

This isn't a new crossroad, same one, and you choose to remain in the same place. All the options and support are there right in front of you. Just take the step brother...

You are focusing on the problem.... Not the SOLUTION

colagirl

I don't post here that often anymore, but I read every day, and you are one whose threads I always look at. I know exactly the place you are in. I was on here for 5+ years before I found real sobriety, you can look at all my up and down, drunk and sober posts. I have terrible addiction, just like most of us on here. As much as I wanted sobriety, I wanted to drink more. Until that changed, I couldn't recover. I needed to find the one thing that worked for ME, to get me motivated to find a real change. I was a lone drinker who hid my problem like it was my full-time job - thought I would die if I told anyone about it. Fought and fought for years to do it by myself. Once I stopped fighting and told a couple of people close to me, I finally found the motivation. What is that one thing for you? What is the one thing that scares the hell out of you? That's probably where you should start.

Just want you to know that I totally understand, and that your life is worth fighting for. Keep fighting.