Thatdeliveryguy

Antabuse carries me 3 days everytime I take it, so if I took it today so I couldn't drink if I wanted to until Sunday, if I take it tomorrow Monday and so forth.... So, I will continue taking it, tomorrow I am going to do AA at least 3 meetings.

My plan for now is to continue to use these boards AA and my medication as aides. Additionally, if I have any issues at all, I was told to call the hospital which i came from ASAP and they will dispatch for any reason (mental). Believe me, if I thought I was going to drink, the anxiety and depression are reasons enough to call.

I have more family support now, many in the family were taking back by my hospitalization. I don't think they knew how bad it is, was, because i hid it... Now there is no hiding it.

Jsbodhi

Good for you! Best wishes, we're all in this mess together <3

Dee74

You should a lot more positive J. I do think inpatient is the way forward for you so I hope it happens soonest.

Use those numbers and contacts you have if you need them too

D

Anna

I'm glad you have some family support, and I hope that you pursue the in-patient option.

Hevyn

What a relief to know you're doing better J. Keep it going.

andyroo72

Hey TDG,

Hiding sucks the energy out of you, I think. I'm really pleased things are calmer and you're getting support. Don't forget that the folks at the hospital and other agencies are there to help you, they're even paid just to do that. They're not going to judge :=] Take care.

Bailey3

Take care of yourself Jeremy.

sprout50

I am glad to hear this Jeremy. Make sure you stay med compliant and keep that appt for inpatient.

Carlotta

This is good news Jeremy. Make sure you stick to your plan and show up on the 3rd for your appointment.

CNY46ER

Care enough about yourself to break your cycle of madness. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Don't let your demon control you any longer. Do inpatient......good luck

thepinkcrayon

i just stumbled across your posts. i'm new here, this is my 3rd post, but i'm going to say something anyway.

no. no no no. do not try for the antabuse and coming here and AA and hope that will work. listen to these people, do the inpatient time. once you're into the super-waffling stage, which is what i'm reading when i read on the 3 threads of yours i've found, you're going to stay in that without outside help. the best outside help for now is the one that gives you no option to renege. inpatient, that's it.

i know, i wanted out of the addiction i was in, ten years ago, in the worst way...i thought. i went to detox over and over, i went to a million meetings, i was regular about it, and. i. was. not. strong enough. i got incredibly lucky in that i got so physically ill that i ended up in a nursing home - yeah, like in a managed coma and then on a ventilator to breathe, and so sick my parents signed a 'do not resuscitate' order so i wouldn't end up physically alive but brain-dead.

you don't want to go that far. but - being in that nursing home for 9 mo. and then in a recovery center for another 3 mo. gave me the time i needed to get body and mind clear enough to know i never ever wanted to get back into it.

i thought i was strong, i thought i was smart, i was not in denial, i knew i was a freakin' addict, but i thought i could do it. no. you need time in a position where choosing to drink/use isn't even an option. that's the only way, i truly believe that.

all my arguments against it - well like you said, there's just plain fear - "oh my god now i can't change my mind if it gets too rough," and there's not wanting to give up the few things you have left....well, you'll lose 'em anyway if you waffle much longer. and then there's that humility thing, having to say '"all right, experience has shown i suck at doing this left to my own devices, no matter how bad i know it is and how much i think i want out. now i have to just. give. up. let someone else direct me, for however long that takes."

i really wish i'd done it before i ended up half-crippled and on disability. don't be proud, learn from experience, give up. just give up. go to inpatient.