I'm taking a beating today for being honest on the fourums
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 374
"And then the promise to never do this again. Everyone here knows that promise, you know right after a huge bender you say, " never again this hurts what the hell have I done", " thats it I swear of alcohol" That promise, I've made it time and time again, everytime I break that promise a little piece of me goes with the broken promise"
How about the only promise you make, is the one to go to a hospital - surrender yourself to the medical professionals who will help you.
How about the only promise you make, is the one to go to a hospital - surrender yourself to the medical professionals who will help you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
The thing is TDG...some of is WANT help and are taking the suggestions that people post. When you keep begging for help and sending S.O.S. signals it takes away from the people on SR who really want help and are willing to do whatever it takes.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and fix us all but without action...nothing will ever get better. Gotta get ready for my AA meeting. I don't want to die so I am taking action. You should too and you should start by detoxing safely at a hospital and then going to inpatient. After reading all your past posts and praying, I feel very strongly that treatment is your only chance.
The choice is up to you now. I can pray...but I won't beg. I have my own alcoholism to work on. I will not drink today. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless Jeremy.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and fix us all but without action...nothing will ever get better. Gotta get ready for my AA meeting. I don't want to die so I am taking action. You should too and you should start by detoxing safely at a hospital and then going to inpatient. After reading all your past posts and praying, I feel very strongly that treatment is your only chance.
The choice is up to you now. I can pray...but I won't beg. I have my own alcoholism to work on. I will not drink today. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless Jeremy.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 349
Have you ever thought you didn't matter? That is how I felt this morning like I didn't matter and I could go to my corner and just die and nobody would notice. And then this, all these replies, over some random post. Wow, I am dumbfounded, I don't know what it is about this post, but thank you all. Its eye opening, I am truly in awe with this response. There is a lesson to be learned here, and I thank you all for caring enough to read what I wrote and offer advice.
I can't do this, I am loser freak, addictive dummy. So with that I am going to logout and not post anymore, screw it, I can't no amount of help helps me , so Its better I sign off, good bye , thank you all TDG is done no more posting I am done.
Both of these posts seem like a cry for attention more than anything else. Which makes me wonder if that is why you continue to drink and post here. Some attention (coming from a negative event) is better than none. Right?
I am an atheist, but I pray I am wrong in my atheism. As strange as it sounds, I want a god to exist. I wish a god exist, and I hope that god stops me from me and saves me. The idea of an omnipotent being saving me is profound, but I can only wish for such a thing. I don't think there is a god, I can't control how I think or what I feel to be true. Which leaves me to save me and I am not doing a good job of that.
I believe in God and He WILL save you, but that "saving" might end up being death with the way you are going. If you want that, keep drinking.
Sorry for the tough love, but after reading many of your posts TDG, I think you need it.
I can't do this, I am loser freak, addictive dummy. So with that I am going to logout and not post anymore, screw it, I can't no amount of help helps me , so Its better I sign off, good bye , thank you all TDG is done no more posting I am done.
Both of these posts seem like a cry for attention more than anything else. Which makes me wonder if that is why you continue to drink and post here. Some attention (coming from a negative event) is better than none. Right?
I am an atheist, but I pray I am wrong in my atheism. As strange as it sounds, I want a god to exist. I wish a god exist, and I hope that god stops me from me and saves me. The idea of an omnipotent being saving me is profound, but I can only wish for such a thing. I don't think there is a god, I can't control how I think or what I feel to be true. Which leaves me to save me and I am not doing a good job of that.
I believe in God and He WILL save you, but that "saving" might end up being death with the way you are going. If you want that, keep drinking.
Sorry for the tough love, but after reading many of your posts TDG, I think you need it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Not "could" do today. Take ownership and make it "will" do it today. And then do it. Either call someone you know to drive you to detox or go yourself. Start today. Let go. Just get your hands off the steering wheel and let someone else do the driving.
Two years ago in October I called my supervisor on a Sunday while drunk and told her I needed to go into treatment. I was that desperate. She had no clue I was a drunk. The next day I was taken to detox and from there to inpatient. Scary? Of course. Didn't know whether I'd have a job when I came back. I just let go and took a leap of faith that anything would be better than the misery I was living in.
Was it worth it? Heck yeah. Would I do it again if I was in the same boat? Heck yeah. I felt like the entire weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders because I finally saw hope. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. But it is scary. And takes a leap of faith.
Two years ago in October I called my supervisor on a Sunday while drunk and told her I needed to go into treatment. I was that desperate. She had no clue I was a drunk. The next day I was taken to detox and from there to inpatient. Scary? Of course. Didn't know whether I'd have a job when I came back. I just let go and took a leap of faith that anything would be better than the misery I was living in.
Was it worth it? Heck yeah. Would I do it again if I was in the same boat? Heck yeah. I felt like the entire weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders because I finally saw hope. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. But it is scary. And takes a leap of faith.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy 
My thoughts this early morning, its the immediate after glow of a bender. With that I go forward, to where I don't know anymore. So off into the abyss I go to try to make sense of things............
1. Take your meds
2. Call the inpatient treatment centers that you are supposedly on the waiting list for immediately. Tell them you cannot wait any longer and you need to come now.
3. Follow through on your outpatient appointment today if you can't get into inpatient this morning. Explain your situation to your counselor.
4. Go to as many AA meetings as you can in the meantime as well.
Do not think - ACT. and ACT now.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Jeremy, I don't doubt for a second you have a serious addiction. You have choices available to you, until you decide you have had enough, you will continue on. Life does not have to be this way, you need to go inpatient and get the help you deserve. Unfortunately, no one can make you do that, you have to want it, and want it badly.
I know you can do it if you set your mind to it.
I know you can do it if you set your mind to it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
There has been some criticism of what some have posted. There has been a lot of love and encouragement. Perhaps the posts that seem critical or harsh are from concerned individuals who feel that taking a different approach may spark something or hit a nerve with the OP that finally clicks. Remember, we are not trained negotiators and sometimes the frustration of those trying to help overwhelms them. Perhaps they are posting ideas out of desperation/frustration. Also remember that most if not all of us have our own issues that may or may not be apparent. Maybe there are some who are experiencing the same sorts of feelings as our Jeremy is.
Regardless of what people post, be assured it is their way of trying to help. We all may not agree with everything, but I think of it as a kind of brainstorming session.
The one thing that jumps out at me I liken to the guy who always sits in the corner of the board room and never says anything. You know these people in the corporate world or in military situations or in any conglomerate of people. These people let everyone else go through the trials and applications, and watch from the sidelines.
But after a time when it seems to be a futile endeavor, they speak up.
This is what I have seen as the wisdom of experience finally taking over a situation. There may or may not be a new solution. But when we are running out of ideas, these people finally speak. Sometimes they recommend an idea that was already presented to the group but in a different light. Sometimes they speak the obvious that was sitting right in front of us.
Regardless of that, I noticed there are people coming "out of the woodwork" to try to help. People who do not normally get involved with the daily goings on around here.
To me, that signifies a true "call to arms" of the conglomerate. This also signifies that something must be done now.
Jeremy, many people are concerned for you. But unless you submit yourself to the reality of the situation and listen to what has been said I'm afraid you may give up completely. Whether or not you are letting us down doesn't really matter. Sure, I would be devastated, as I'm sure others would be, if you gave up. But you are the one who matters. Don't let yourself down.
You are teetering on the edge. DO IT, or GIVE UP. Don't give up. The way you are able to articulate your feelings, thoughts show appreciation for life tells me you don't want to give up. And you certainly have so much to offer the world. You are a good person. Your kindness and concern for others has shown itself. Why not show yourself that same kindness and compassion as you have to others. I know you love life. But there is something in the way at the moment. There is a solution. You know what it is. Put your fears aside and do what you know needs to be done.
I want to be the first to congratulate you in a year when you are able to make that post: THAT DELIVERY GUY DELIVERED A YEAR OF SOBRIETY!
Take care of yourself. Make the commitment. Get the help that is available.
Regardless of what people post, be assured it is their way of trying to help. We all may not agree with everything, but I think of it as a kind of brainstorming session.
The one thing that jumps out at me I liken to the guy who always sits in the corner of the board room and never says anything. You know these people in the corporate world or in military situations or in any conglomerate of people. These people let everyone else go through the trials and applications, and watch from the sidelines.
But after a time when it seems to be a futile endeavor, they speak up.
This is what I have seen as the wisdom of experience finally taking over a situation. There may or may not be a new solution. But when we are running out of ideas, these people finally speak. Sometimes they recommend an idea that was already presented to the group but in a different light. Sometimes they speak the obvious that was sitting right in front of us.
Regardless of that, I noticed there are people coming "out of the woodwork" to try to help. People who do not normally get involved with the daily goings on around here.
To me, that signifies a true "call to arms" of the conglomerate. This also signifies that something must be done now.
Jeremy, many people are concerned for you. But unless you submit yourself to the reality of the situation and listen to what has been said I'm afraid you may give up completely. Whether or not you are letting us down doesn't really matter. Sure, I would be devastated, as I'm sure others would be, if you gave up. But you are the one who matters. Don't let yourself down.
You are teetering on the edge. DO IT, or GIVE UP. Don't give up. The way you are able to articulate your feelings, thoughts show appreciation for life tells me you don't want to give up. And you certainly have so much to offer the world. You are a good person. Your kindness and concern for others has shown itself. Why not show yourself that same kindness and compassion as you have to others. I know you love life. But there is something in the way at the moment. There is a solution. You know what it is. Put your fears aside and do what you know needs to be done.
I want to be the first to congratulate you in a year when you are able to make that post: THAT DELIVERY GUY DELIVERED A YEAR OF SOBRIETY!
Take care of yourself. Make the commitment. Get the help that is available.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Reno, Nevada treatment centers:
http://www.altamirarecovery.com/reno...tment-centers/
http://rehab-international.org/nevada-rehab/reno
Reno, Nevada Alcoholics, Anonymous:
1-(775)-355-1151
http://www.nnig.org/
http://www.altamirarecovery.com/reno...tment-centers/
http://rehab-international.org/nevada-rehab/reno
Reno, Nevada Alcoholics, Anonymous:
1-(775)-355-1151
http://www.nnig.org/
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Click on the SECOND treatment link. It lists MANY treatment centers in your area. The first link (Alta Mira) is for people with a criminal history or something. I didn't mean to post that one. Good luck!
Molotov Kitty!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Chicago IL
Posts: 60
You are thinking way too much... That is a huge part of the problem....
There isn't too much to think about anymore TDG.
All the writing is on the wall... All the options are there waiting to be utilized.... the commitment for today should be not to drink.... Today and everyday. It's that simple, and that commitment needs to be renewed everyday with all of your heart and soul.
You had a plan for today before the weekend.... That was IOP today while you are waiting to get into inpatient... You have the resources there. NOTHING HAS CHANGE except for that fact that you used.
I hope you go. Stop thinking, just act. Have faith in the process...
As I told you before, we have all had to make that step, face those fears, and actually surrender that we couldn't make it better by ourselves....
So jump in, the water is fine in recovery land. Sure sometimes we still struggle to tread water, but it's so much easier than continuing to stay stuck in your mind. I also know what it feels like to feel paralyzed, I am pretty sure almost everyone here does...
Best,
Jeff
There isn't too much to think about anymore TDG.
All the writing is on the wall... All the options are there waiting to be utilized.... the commitment for today should be not to drink.... Today and everyday. It's that simple, and that commitment needs to be renewed everyday with all of your heart and soul.
You had a plan for today before the weekend.... That was IOP today while you are waiting to get into inpatient... You have the resources there. NOTHING HAS CHANGE except for that fact that you used.
I hope you go. Stop thinking, just act. Have faith in the process...
As I told you before, we have all had to make that step, face those fears, and actually surrender that we couldn't make it better by ourselves....
So jump in, the water is fine in recovery land. Sure sometimes we still struggle to tread water, but it's so much easier than continuing to stay stuck in your mind. I also know what it feels like to feel paralyzed, I am pretty sure almost everyone here does...
Best,
Jeff
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Lbrain hit the nail on the head there.
I also would like to see your sober for 1 year post !! All of us here would.
This awful place that you find yourself in can be escaped, probably much more easily than your fear is letting you believe. I don't presume to know what it's like to be you, but I think that you are in a place where your perceive reality and recovery to be something terrifying.
You're between a rock and a hard place, I understand that.
You're no different to us, though, J.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. It's ok.
I also would like to see your sober for 1 year post !! All of us here would.
This awful place that you find yourself in can be escaped, probably much more easily than your fear is letting you believe. I don't presume to know what it's like to be you, but I think that you are in a place where your perceive reality and recovery to be something terrifying.
You're between a rock and a hard place, I understand that.
You're no different to us, though, J.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. It's ok.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
So what are you going to do today Jeremy?
Are you going to do your best to get to inpatient, reach out to some AA friends and to your outpatient counselor and take your meds or are you going to sit on your behind paralyzed by fear, guilt, anxiety and wallowing in a pool of self pity?
Nothing changes if nothing changes
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 550
Jeremy my friend, I'm sorry you are hurting. I have a suggestion.
Sit somewhere comfortable and repeat to yourself 100 times - The ACTIONS of Jeremy can save Jeremy. And think about what that really means.
Actions. Making a change. A change that's needed more now then ever.
You sound like a perfect candidate for inpatient. There you could learn more sober tools as well as talk face to face with others. You could share your stories and hear theirs. And get lots of advice. I'm willing to bet you would actually enjoy interacting with others and discussing your struggles, while learning new ways to work through them.
The time has come, take the action. A million dollars can't buy your way out of this. Only a new action from Jeremy can.
Hugs to you. You CAN do this.
Sit somewhere comfortable and repeat to yourself 100 times - The ACTIONS of Jeremy can save Jeremy. And think about what that really means.
Actions. Making a change. A change that's needed more now then ever.
You sound like a perfect candidate for inpatient. There you could learn more sober tools as well as talk face to face with others. You could share your stories and hear theirs. And get lots of advice. I'm willing to bet you would actually enjoy interacting with others and discussing your struggles, while learning new ways to work through them.
The time has come, take the action. A million dollars can't buy your way out of this. Only a new action from Jeremy can.
Hugs to you. You CAN do this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 69
I also have been watching this train wreck from the sidelines. I only have 16 days sober myself, so I'm probably not all that useful for advice, but I would like to point out if you are drinking & taking psych meds you are likely to have seizures mixing the two.
I knew everything, I ignored the dr, warning labels etc. I had been doing it a long time and nothing bad ever happened. Then it did. I had a seizure. And again. And again. And again. Even on days I wasnt drinking. I had a seizure at work, in the store, in COURT(!!) etc.
And you won t have any choice you will be taken to the ER against your will and you will by law lose your driving license.
Why not just get the medical help now rather then later?
I knew everything, I ignored the dr, warning labels etc. I had been doing it a long time and nothing bad ever happened. Then it did. I had a seizure. And again. And again. And again. Even on days I wasnt drinking. I had a seizure at work, in the store, in COURT(!!) etc.
And you won t have any choice you will be taken to the ER against your will and you will by law lose your driving license.
Why not just get the medical help now rather then later?
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