Thatdeliveryguy

this place is lonely and scary, knowing that you're slowly killing yourself and can't stop is frightening. Nobody in my personal life thinks I can do this, and now I am thinking I can't. What more can one say, I am losing this battle and am finding it harder and harder to find reality and me agan.

Thank you all for responding, don't know what to do now, what do do.... Nothing stick and nothing works.... I hate this habit, but can't live without my own habit....

MIRecovery

Until you are ready to quit no one can give you any advice that will make a differance

Carlotta

Dee74

I lost faith in myself too. It was easy to do filling myself with equal doses of despair and alcohol.

are you drinking now Jeremy?

D

Impurrfect

Jeremy - I think you do have an idea of what to do, but you are scared to make that leap. So many of us have gone through this. I didn't go to inpatient but the very thought of dealing with life clean and sober scared the dickens out of me.

I finally got miserable enough that I listened. MY way sure as hello wasn't working.

I think a lot of us think there is no one who is as messed up as we are. By reading around the forums, I've found out that is not true.

I pray you give inpatient, and yourself, a chance.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

RobbyRobot

I too didn't have any one in my personal life who believed I could stay sober. I had my own impossible doubts too. Harder to stay in reality, I understand about that, Jeremy. I still managed to quit by putting everything into just staying quit and not being worried about whatever the hell staying sober meant. I eventually realized I just didn't care about sobriety but I did care about quitting and staying quit. Like I said, residential rehab and detox helped me quit AND stay sober. Later on I learned to care...

You can too. Seriously.

mistory5

You SR folks are amazing! I don't know your history Jeremy on SR. I only have 7 days, but I am in awe over how these people are taking the time to talk, advise, care, be honest over and over again! Wow...

TopEndChick

Delivery guy, I read that post yesterday (Sunday night in Aus) and some of the comments after made me hurt for you. One particular poster said he was starting to get 'peed off' and that you were just seeking attention. I don't agree with this. Feeling the way you obviously are, If I was you that may well have scared me off this site for good, and that doesn't help anyone. So you were feeling a little self indulgent, big deal. I'm behind you 100% percent and hope you keep coming back and keep trying.

Soberwolf

Hello Jeremy there is a lot of responses but i wanted to shw you this its not much but here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...got-sober.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...some-news.html

Hevyn

Prayers going up for you to do what must be done to leave the misery behind, and begin your new life.

Thatdeliveryguy

For better or worse I am staying on this site, yep sared to death. I suppose I am not normal and can't make a decision. Yes Dee, I am drinking again, if I stop reality is going to come roaring back. I don't want reality I want fantasy. Why would anyone lose everything, but keep posting, Because i know I can quit, I know there is a way, I know I can do this, I just haven't found the solution.

least

The solution is right there in front of your nose: go to inpatient!! How much lower do you want to go?

jryan19982

Please for your own sake and the sake of your family, bite the bullet and go to inpatient. Used that 35 days to get yourself right. We will all be here when you get back.

ScottFromWI

First off TDG, if you've quit your meds and are drinking again, you know the routine...call 911 and they will make you take them. If you are insistent enough, they may even hospitalize you this time and perhaps get you into the intensive treatment you need.

Blaming those here that have tried to give you an "ultimatum" of sorts is simply another cop out / excuse to avoid doing what you need to do. The vast majority of responses to all of your posts here is always positive, and your posts always generate a large number of replies.

You know EXACTLY what you need to do, but you refuse to do it. There is really not much else to say.

Thatdeliveryguy

but you know I am not alone, or others wouldn't respond. I know I am not the only one, I just know it.

jryan19982

Its scary. For sure. No one is disputing that. What we are disputing is your rationale for not going. You just need to lower your head and bullthrough and just do it- as Nike would say. Why do you keep arguing the fact? You need help, we have all needed or still need help. Maybe the "others" who are posint because you are not alone (whatever that means) will follow in your footsteps and go to inpatient or rehab. Maybe you will give them the strength to do so.

Soberwolf

Forget about everyone else this is about you

Get inpatient asap

Briar

You know you have a tendency to think too far into the future and spin out on things that may never happen. You have a great opportunity to do inpatient, and the way things have been going is not working. You know that. You're driving your life off a cliff, Jeremy, you need to let somebody else take the wheel for a while. You have a whole lot more to lose if you don't go.

SoberLife2014

I don't know what to tell you Jeremy. You're kind of at a crossroads here and the choice is yours. It seems that everyone has given the best advice that they have to give.

I really hope you choose to go to rehab because the other choice could be... well... death. I hate to say it but it sounds like you're approaching that. We're here for you but we can only do so much.

Dee74

The fantasy is not sustainable J - you know that.

The fear of reality is very real and powerful - but I promise you the pain and terror caused by the fear is far far greater than the discomfort of simply putting down the bottle, taking your meds and getting help.

A lot of your pain fear and despair is alcohol fuelled.
You don't need to be Einstein to see what your next move should be, man.

D