I'm back....if you'll have me....

Old 07-08-2014, 09:56 AM
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Location: North salt lake
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I'm back....if you'll have me....

Sooooooooo. Yes my feelings were hurt to the core. I can take the tough love part until it gets personal. Then I won't.

We all have had horrible things happen in our lives. I've dealt with mine, doesn't mean I have forgotten any of it. Or maybe I haven't dealt with it effectively if one post brings all that **** back, washing over me like a sad wave.

Anyway enough of that crap. Got home in one tired piece. I thought well since I screwed up the night before. Might as well keep it going. Had one. Poured a second. Thought hard about it. Do I want it? Why am I drinking it? How is this going to end? Do I really want to go through that sweaty awful Withdrawl? NO! I poured it out. This is new for me. Never stopped drinking in mid drink and gave it any thought. Drank water the rest of the night. Praying no withdrawals. Slept good last night. ZeeFuzZee is still knocked out.

Here we go (again).

Thanks for all your replies. I read them. Then I read them again and again.
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Old 07-08-2014, 09:58 AM
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welcome back... good job pouring that poison out.
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Old 07-08-2014, 09:58 AM
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Mom quit chasing me around with that giant iPad.
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Old 07-08-2014, 09:58 AM
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Only when we give up trying Raider that's when we have lost. You can do this
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:03 AM
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You know you are always welcome here Raider. What's your next step? Something has to change in the way your are going about this obviously.
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:03 AM
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Realising my life
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Welcome back, Raider. So glad you are up and fighting again
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:05 AM
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Welcome back, Raider and Fuzz
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:06 AM
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You're not defined by how many times you get knocked down but by how many times you can get back up. Welcome back.
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:07 AM
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Welcome back things will have to change but you can do this.
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:08 AM
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Welcome back Raider...and fuzz is adorable.

I support you and care. Same place as you right now.

Fight with me, ok?
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:09 AM
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I'm in your court all the way.
BTW, does Fuzz have a coat for colder weather?
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:10 AM
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Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
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Onward we go. Side by side...

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Old 07-08-2014, 10:13 AM
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Glad you and the Fuzz are back Raider X
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:17 AM
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Marchia in Aeternum
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As pilots say, "As long as safe landings equal take offs you're doin fine.
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:17 AM
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wow, if there was ever a cat face asking for memes, that's the one.

Raider, our disease is very powerful and very tricky. I drank when I didn't want to but I didn't know it wasn't really me. When I was able to understand the nature of the Beast, it got much easier. Soon, I could identify the Addictive Voice that was whispering, attempting to rationalize a drink. learning AVRT was very helpful for me. You might give it a look.

What I've learned is there's no reason to pick up a drink. None at all. Ever. The urge will pass. Sometimes it tantrums more than other times but it does quiet down. it does take other, sometimes less articulated forms, like anxiety. Like irrititabilty, like self pity. When I took a closer analyzation of these feelings, it was "Beast" activity. It goes away too. sort of like recognizing it defeats it.

I'm glad you're back. I needed and continue to need support.

Love from Lenina
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:19 AM
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welcome back!
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:21 AM
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What's the new plan? . . . welcome back!!
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:22 AM
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Sobriety is Traditional
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Location: Orcas Island, Washington
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Glad to see you back Pam! In addition to believing in astrology, I have some faith in herbal remedies. Some people who quit use Kudzu. It should be inexpensive, it is a noxious weed in the southeast:

And here is an excerpt from today's ***** Horoscope:

"...humanity is being served an unnerving mixture of positive and negative aspects -- making a large percentage of the human population completely mixed up, and not knowing whether they are coming or going..."
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by MrBen View Post
You're not defined by how many times you get knocked down but by how many times you can get back up. Welcome back.
I love that. Welcome back.
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:26 AM
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Awesome Raider. This is what it takes. You made a different decision and this is all that can be asked. Keep making that different decision and keep your head up. One day at a time.
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