Class of July 2014
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 102
Hope today is going better for you deanyya. Congratulations to everyone who made it another day sober! Day 3 for me and feeling really anxious. Started last night and I wasn't the most patient of moms, found myself thinking that drinking would mellow me out and reminding myself that drinking and the following hangover makes me an ineffective parent. Better to be edgy then nonexistent. Strange but I woke up to my alarm this morning and the first thought in my head was that I was hungover and to suck it up like I always do and get through the day.. Took me a second to realize that I wasn't, and that I didn't feel bad at all. Hope everyone has a good day!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 18
Day 2. Day 1 was fine. A few sweets to get me through mild cravings/withdrawals but all in all not bad. I'm going to be looking after my brothers dog for a few days at his house and I suspect he has some booze around. I'm not too worried as my pattern of drinking is binging and for a couple of weeks after a binge and withdrawal, all I usually feel is disgust for booze. But if I do get tempted, I'm either going to get out of there or get the booze out of there.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,107
Day 3 for me here today. Of course I've been here before I've made it all the way to 100 days but then falter but I'm done with that.
From this point forward I'm going to be too busy living to be busy drinking.
Remember keep workin them angels overtime
From this point forward I'm going to be too busy living to be busy drinking.
Remember keep workin them angels overtime
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 104
hey Pushkin, I can relate to that, posting on here when I get a craving..much more advantageous than drinking 2 bottles of wine methinks.
Lofty, keep going! How nice is it not to deal with the shame and embarrasment we all felt on a daily basis
Went to AA today, was so nervous speaking aloud I was actually shaking, but everyone was so kind and welcoming
Hope everyone is feeling positive today and for those struggling post post post!!
Lofty, keep going! How nice is it not to deal with the shame and embarrasment we all felt on a daily basis
Went to AA today, was so nervous speaking aloud I was actually shaking, but everyone was so kind and welcoming
Hope everyone is feeling positive today and for those struggling post post post!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 49
Day 9 for me and it hasn't been easy but the good outweighs the bad. I'm starting to feel different now,like my inner warrior woke up, I'm trying to do 1 hours sweaty exercise every day,so I'm a bit sore and have suddenly developed a taste for chocolate which I didn't like before but I'm getting married in 423 days and am starting a new job soon,I have a lot to be thankful for. You don't need to hit rock bottom but you need to dig deep. I'm grateful for 9 days and the class of July 2014.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,448
day 3 for me, probably won't be able to get back online until sunday or monday, but I won't be drinking. Tonight I have a bunch of shopping/packing to do, then the next 4 days I'll be camping, no booze.
The thought of not having to worry about moderating my drinking in the future has been a relief to me the past couple days. I've spent so much energy and worry on how much I was drinking and how much I drank and how to drink less in the future, that it's really impossible to explain how any of it was worthwhile at all. I was consumed with anxiety and problems by something that is supposed to relax you. In the end, it doesn't. I'm happy to let it go.
I need to be more wary of things that trip me up. Home wine and beer brewing was a part of my life, and I have many reminders of it in conversation with friends and just in my own yard. I can't get rid of all those reminders (well maybe if sold everything, moved, changed jobs and didn't talk to old friends), but I might be able to refocus or re-purpose them. My hops vines for one are really only useful for making beer, but make an attractive climbing vine and I would really hate to kill them. Just walking by them at times can be worse than going to a restaurant in terms of the AV talking to me. For me though, it was a part of my life, and someone else can use the hops if they want I and I don't really want to tear up my yard to exorcise things I would have at one time use to make beer or ferment into wine. I need to find ways to quiet down the AV, by refocusing or if only by the passage of time. I also have a last batch of beer I had been aging, and I just plan on giving it away and getting it out of the house. Most of my batches were consumed quickly so I don't have a cellar full luckily. It's just frustratingly frequent how brewing, beer and wine come up in conversation, but we live in a drinking culture (in the US and elsewhere) so if it wasn't that it would be something else. In time, it will lessen and people stop knowing me as a homebrewer and drinker.
The thought of not having to worry about moderating my drinking in the future has been a relief to me the past couple days. I've spent so much energy and worry on how much I was drinking and how much I drank and how to drink less in the future, that it's really impossible to explain how any of it was worthwhile at all. I was consumed with anxiety and problems by something that is supposed to relax you. In the end, it doesn't. I'm happy to let it go.
I need to be more wary of things that trip me up. Home wine and beer brewing was a part of my life, and I have many reminders of it in conversation with friends and just in my own yard. I can't get rid of all those reminders (well maybe if sold everything, moved, changed jobs and didn't talk to old friends), but I might be able to refocus or re-purpose them. My hops vines for one are really only useful for making beer, but make an attractive climbing vine and I would really hate to kill them. Just walking by them at times can be worse than going to a restaurant in terms of the AV talking to me. For me though, it was a part of my life, and someone else can use the hops if they want I and I don't really want to tear up my yard to exorcise things I would have at one time use to make beer or ferment into wine. I need to find ways to quiet down the AV, by refocusing or if only by the passage of time. I also have a last batch of beer I had been aging, and I just plan on giving it away and getting it out of the house. Most of my batches were consumed quickly so I don't have a cellar full luckily. It's just frustratingly frequent how brewing, beer and wine come up in conversation, but we live in a drinking culture (in the US and elsewhere) so if it wasn't that it would be something else. In time, it will lessen and people stop knowing me as a homebrewer and drinker.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 126
Hello everyone,
I am an alcoholic and I know it. Today is day 1. I have to stop this cycle or I will certainly and slowly kill myself. I am motivated to stop but horribly afraid that I will lose myself after a few weeks. That is my pattern. I eventually forget how I feel today and relapse. But I know it has to end and that I have to stop.
I am hopeful that by using these forums I can have a tool that will help me stay sober. I want it so much (until I don't of course).
In any event, thanks for listening.
I am an alcoholic and I know it. Today is day 1. I have to stop this cycle or I will certainly and slowly kill myself. I am motivated to stop but horribly afraid that I will lose myself after a few weeks. That is my pattern. I eventually forget how I feel today and relapse. But I know it has to end and that I have to stop.
I am hopeful that by using these forums I can have a tool that will help me stay sober. I want it so much (until I don't of course).
In any event, thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 164
TXAlchy, you're not alone in this. It's a horrible cycle we are dragging ourselves out of but it's either that or slowly kill ourselves... I'm scared of the day when I forget why I'm sober, or when the AV starts telling me I can drink "just a sip." I have to build up a strong arsenal of reasons for quitting. Like the fact that I don't want to black out. I need to be ready to fight this thing.
Today is day 4. I was able to hang out with my boyfriend last night while he drank a beer. He had a few before he came home out of respect for my sobriety. Luckily he was drinking a crappy beer that wouldn't even appeal to me or the "beer monster" in my gut, lol. But, there have been times when even those have made my AV kick in.
Right now though, I'm so excited for my sobriety, I want to shout it from the rooftops! I feel so free! Like you said, nmd, it's so amazing not to have to worry about how to regulate it ever again. Not to have to worry about how to "moderate" drinking or become a "social" drinker without "becoming" an alcoholic. I used to be terrified of becoming "one of those" alcoholics who has to go to AA or rehab or quit drinking entirely. HA! I was one the whole time!!! Now I'm just so excited I don't have to make the day-to-day decision about whether to drink or not, because I know that I'm not and it's already made.
I've been telling a lot of close people in my life that I quit drinking. I don't frame it as "I'm an alcoholic and now I need to be sober forever." I just say I quit. I've gotten a lot of support and positive feedback. I feel great about it! So I am thinking of this as changing my lifestyle to a healthier one. It feels just like when I told everyone I was quitting smoking, or becoming vegetarian. Gradually, in both of these other areas I became a positive influence on other people in my life just by living the way that I do, and maybe that will happen with this change, too. Maybe I've been a bad influence on the people I love with my binge drinking. "Be the change you wish to see in the world," as Gandhi said.
Drinking is just not what I do anymore. My body just doesn't want those toxins. I am choosing to live, not to avoid my own consciousness through blackouts.
So, to start off day 4 I just made myself a huge hardcore salad. Dandelion greens (supposedly good for the liver), baby kale, baby spinach, shredded carrots, chopped cucumbers, celery, cannellini beans, and hard boiled eggs for protein. TAKE THAT, beer monster!
Today is day 4. I was able to hang out with my boyfriend last night while he drank a beer. He had a few before he came home out of respect for my sobriety. Luckily he was drinking a crappy beer that wouldn't even appeal to me or the "beer monster" in my gut, lol. But, there have been times when even those have made my AV kick in.
Right now though, I'm so excited for my sobriety, I want to shout it from the rooftops! I feel so free! Like you said, nmd, it's so amazing not to have to worry about how to regulate it ever again. Not to have to worry about how to "moderate" drinking or become a "social" drinker without "becoming" an alcoholic. I used to be terrified of becoming "one of those" alcoholics who has to go to AA or rehab or quit drinking entirely. HA! I was one the whole time!!! Now I'm just so excited I don't have to make the day-to-day decision about whether to drink or not, because I know that I'm not and it's already made.
I've been telling a lot of close people in my life that I quit drinking. I don't frame it as "I'm an alcoholic and now I need to be sober forever." I just say I quit. I've gotten a lot of support and positive feedback. I feel great about it! So I am thinking of this as changing my lifestyle to a healthier one. It feels just like when I told everyone I was quitting smoking, or becoming vegetarian. Gradually, in both of these other areas I became a positive influence on other people in my life just by living the way that I do, and maybe that will happen with this change, too. Maybe I've been a bad influence on the people I love with my binge drinking. "Be the change you wish to see in the world," as Gandhi said.
Drinking is just not what I do anymore. My body just doesn't want those toxins. I am choosing to live, not to avoid my own consciousness through blackouts.
So, to start off day 4 I just made myself a huge hardcore salad. Dandelion greens (supposedly good for the liver), baby kale, baby spinach, shredded carrots, chopped cucumbers, celery, cannellini beans, and hard boiled eggs for protein. TAKE THAT, beer monster!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 126
Thanks, Clementina,
I like the thought of having the decision remade for me. I know that in the past I have always known when I was going to lose my sobriety. I'd have few weeks and just wake up knowing one day that I wasn't going to make it another. I need to build in defenses to that impulse.
I never regret not drinking. I always regret drinking after I come out of a binge. I wish that thinking was enough to keep it away.
I like the thought of having the decision remade for me. I know that in the past I have always known when I was going to lose my sobriety. I'd have few weeks and just wake up knowing one day that I wasn't going to make it another. I need to build in defenses to that impulse.
I never regret not drinking. I always regret drinking after I come out of a binge. I wish that thinking was enough to keep it away.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 166
Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement. Feeling pretty good today. Spending time with the kiddos on my day off. I will start posting here everyday. I think it will help me fight this battle. Staying sober tonight
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 102
Good to hear deanyya. Welcome TXAlchy! Sounds like an awesome lunch Clementina. I've signed up with a local farm market vendor to take a Kambucha class. Suppose to have fantastic health benefits. I've tried it a couple of times. Bit strange to drink, but tasty. Going to learn to "brew" something healthy!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 126
Thanks FacingFuture. Welcome petals
Going to a baseball game tonight out of a prior commitment. Wish I felt better but we all know why I don't. Thankfully won't be any drinking pressure with who I am going with. Really kind of wallowing in guilt at the moment, though. However, not going to drink today.
Going to a baseball game tonight out of a prior commitment. Wish I felt better but we all know why I don't. Thankfully won't be any drinking pressure with who I am going with. Really kind of wallowing in guilt at the moment, though. However, not going to drink today.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 16
Day 10 sober. My morning workout really calmed me down for the rest of the day, and I had a great conversation with a client about recovery. I mentioned I was an alcoholic, and she shared amazing insight to being sober for 20 years. "Get rid of the toxic people in your life, and surround yourself with positive". This time around, I'm letting the 'normies' around me know that I'm in recovery. I feel there's accountability in it, and surprisingly enough, no judgement. I'm just human. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 69
Back for Another Go....
I came on these boards in late 2012. After a couple of weeks, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and I let that and other excuses derail me. Still have had getting sober on my mind and now I have my 40th birthday approaching in a few days, and it occurred to me that I should take back the second half of my life now, and enter my 40s sober. So right now I am on Day 9. I don't like to think of myself as an alcoholic and I am also aware that can be a problem with recovery, so I'm struggling with that. But right now, I want to be a healthy, sober wife, mom, daughter, employee, etc. and am trying to focus on one day at a time.
Thanks for letting me join this class!
Thanks for letting me join this class!
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