It's never too late to hit a new low...
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
There is a lot of love in this thread...and that is absolutely wonderful. Not all that long ago, I had a thought about addiction that I jotted down in a sobriety journal. It still comes to mind often and that is "addiction" is a state of un-love. It was reaffirmed when I recently read that the chemistry of addiction roosts in the same part of the brain where love should.
I have nothing but blessings and hope for you Raider but I have largely tried to avoid this thread (which is difficult at times). I will tell you why and I do hope this doesn't ruffle any feathers as it is only my personal issue. I know you are lined up for rehab..and that's fantastic..but I guess I've had to avoid it because something gets "tweaked" inside me when someone is still drinking and waiting on the illusive tomorrow. Forgive me, it's my "stuff" and I own it. I only say this because I'm hoping that support is balanced enough to allow more than "you go girl..we love you..." and that maybe we can be honest enough to muse on possible truths not so easily digestible.
I dunno...sometimes I just hope "Newcomer's" or not we can offer our honest perceptions or fears about what is or could be going on. I know I welcome balance in the perspectives offered to me. I may not like them, I may discount them or maybe they will get at the truth of something I'm not admitting to myself..let alone anyone else.
I have nothing but blessings and hope for you Raider but I have largely tried to avoid this thread (which is difficult at times). I will tell you why and I do hope this doesn't ruffle any feathers as it is only my personal issue. I know you are lined up for rehab..and that's fantastic..but I guess I've had to avoid it because something gets "tweaked" inside me when someone is still drinking and waiting on the illusive tomorrow. Forgive me, it's my "stuff" and I own it. I only say this because I'm hoping that support is balanced enough to allow more than "you go girl..we love you..." and that maybe we can be honest enough to muse on possible truths not so easily digestible.
I dunno...sometimes I just hope "Newcomer's" or not we can offer our honest perceptions or fears about what is or could be going on. I know I welcome balance in the perspectives offered to me. I may not like them, I may discount them or maybe they will get at the truth of something I'm not admitting to myself..let alone anyone else.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 1,052
Originally Posted by Nuudawn 
I dunno...sometimes I just hope "Newcomer's" or not we can offer our honest perceptions or fears about what is or could be going on. I know I welcome balance in the perspectives offered to me. I may not like them, I may discount them or maybe they will get at the truth of something I'm not admitting to myself..let alone anyone else.
So, you go girl!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
NuuDawn, of course I want your honest opinion. I have been wondering why you haven't posted. I kind of thought you weren't because you might have thought I wouldn't like what you had to say. Not true GF. I got myself in a bit of a pickle here. Should have made some different choices over the past month ( probably longer than that). But I am where I am, and I will sort through it. Sooner better than later. Please don't hold back on your posts. I love them.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
I am by no means condoning chasing anyone away or being mean spirited or abrasive. As I say..I have largely avoided it because well...lol...sometimes alternate perspectives could just well...lie there rather than be rebutted.
LOL..I think I'm in over my head. Just a nigglin' something something I had to say. Bright blessings to you Raider.
LOL..I think I'm in over my head. Just a nigglin' something something I had to say. Bright blessings to you Raider.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
...I'm hoping that support is balanced enough to allow more than "you go girl..we love you..." and that maybe we can be honest enough to muse on possible truths not so easily digestible.
I dunno...sometimes I just hope "Newcomer's" or not we can offer our honest perceptions or fears about what is or could be going on. I know I welcome balance in the perspectives offered to me. I may not like them, I may discount them or maybe they will get at the truth of something I'm not admitting to myself..let alone anyone else.
I dunno...sometimes I just hope "Newcomer's" or not we can offer our honest perceptions or fears about what is or could be going on. I know I welcome balance in the perspectives offered to me. I may not like them, I may discount them or maybe they will get at the truth of something I'm not admitting to myself..let alone anyone else.
The issue you raise is a fine line around which some of us seem oblivious and still others stomp all over carelessly with no obvious insight to the harm they do. No one -- me included -- is immune to failing at being skillful and wise around knowing when to continue giving outright support and when to be honest in the service of helping someone through their suffering. It doesn't always have to be one or the other. But if someone continues to suffer, or get worse, in response to unbridled support, something needs to change. This "something" never includes abusing someone's fragility.
Giving support is a great thing, but it doesn't always come wrapped as a Christmas present. More important, to me, is bearing in mind that we're talking about a potentially fatal condition that kills tens of thousands of people each year. Among the millions who survive, the majority continue to kill themselves slowly in every possible way while destroying all that's good in their lives.
As long as your heart's in the right place, you can sleep easily at night.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Raider
I kind of thought you weren't because you might have thought I wouldn't like what you had to say. Not true GF.
No one wants your sweet soul outta that pickle as much as me. Okay..that's a figure of speech. Lots and lots here want you outta that damn pickle as much as me : )
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
We often have to suffer well meaning but unhelpful people in life. Incessant cheerleading often turns to enabling which, in turn, is ultimately more harmful than being straightforward about what's going on. "Why should I do anything as long as people love me unconditionally, no matter what I do?"
The issue you raise is a fine line around which some of us seem oblivious and still others stomp all over carelessly with no obvious insight to the harm they do. No one -- me included -- is immune to failing at being skillful and wise around knowing when to continue giving outright support and when to be honest in the service of helping someone through their suffering. If someone continues to suffer, or get worse, in response to unbridled support, something different needs to change. This "something" never includes abusing someone's fragility.
Giving support is a great thing, but it doesn't always come wrapped as a Christmas present. More important, to me, is bearing in mind that we're talking about a potentially fatal condition that kills tens of thousands of people each year. Among the millions who survive, the majority continue to kill themselves slowly in every possible way while destroying all that's good in their lives.
As long as your heart's in the right place, you can sleep easily at night.
The issue you raise is a fine line around which some of us seem oblivious and still others stomp all over carelessly with no obvious insight to the harm they do. No one -- me included -- is immune to failing at being skillful and wise around knowing when to continue giving outright support and when to be honest in the service of helping someone through their suffering. If someone continues to suffer, or get worse, in response to unbridled support, something different needs to change. This "something" never includes abusing someone's fragility.
Giving support is a great thing, but it doesn't always come wrapped as a Christmas present. More important, to me, is bearing in mind that we're talking about a potentially fatal condition that kills tens of thousands of people each year. Among the millions who survive, the majority continue to kill themselves slowly in every possible way while destroying all that's good in their lives.
As long as your heart's in the right place, you can sleep easily at night.
Ya..it's that damn fine line.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
Well said..as usual (see I can do that too my friend).
Ya..it's that damn fine line.
Ya..it's that damn fine line.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by Dee74
tough love is fine....so long as we remember the love bit
D
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think tough love needs a relationship to work, yeah. Something I hear from a mate is a whole different thing to something some stranger yells at me in the street.
It might be no less true but my reaction is likely to be different
It's sometimes easy to forget that here, I think
D
It might be no less true but my reaction is likely to be different
It's sometimes easy to forget that here, I think
D
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Dee74
I think tough love needs a relationship to work, yeah. Something I hear from a mate is a whole different thing to something some stranger yells at me in the street.
It might be no less true but my reaction is likely to be different
It's sometimes easy to forget that here, I think
D
It might be no less true but my reaction is likely to be different
It's sometimes easy to forget that here, I think
D
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Dee74
I think tough love needs a relationship to work, yeah. Something I hear from a mate is a whole different thing to something some stranger yells at me in the street.
It might be no less true but my reaction is likely to be different
It's sometimes easy to forget that here, I think
D
It might be no less true but my reaction is likely to be different
It's sometimes easy to forget that here, I think
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
Thank you Raider for sharing your honest struggles - I view SR as a place where we can be honest. Getting sober is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. Please be careful and safe if you do drink and keep a cell phone close by in case you need to go to hospital or whatever.
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