When i first started posting here
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Originally Posted by Zee 
Well, we are her for support, not to judge... heck, I had alcoholic hepatitis and ended up in hospital for a month... who am I to judge? jeez (thats me being american btw) I really thought I had cirrhosis and that my time on earth was over... I'm still here though... still dealing with acute anxiety (life sucks sometimes, but we make the best of what we got eh?) you have kids... I can't have kids, but my furry kids make up for what my insides couldn't deliver (literally) If you are going to do anything... think of your kids, they need you x
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Originally Posted by bigsombrero
I went to inpatient treatment. It helped me quite a bit. Now that I'm sober my brain is getting way more activity than I ever had while drunk. There is still life after treatment, and it's a wild ride. I am telling you this so that perhaps sobriety looks more appealing. It is.
Do the treatment, any way possible. I know it's tough with all those kids but they will be okay. To them you'll just be on a little vacation/break. Whatever. Just do it, you can change. Good luck.
Do the treatment, any way possible. I know it's tough with all those kids but they will be okay. To them you'll just be on a little vacation/break. Whatever. Just do it, you can change. Good luck.
I've done rehab before. It didnt work, I went out and used even harder but I'm sure this time it will. I don't think I can taper myself. Went well for awhile then took double my dose the last couple of days, 60mg plus lots of codeine .
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I was detoxed in hospital sept 2011, I was acutely malnourished, I was on a feeding tube for 3 weeks up my nose... I have been probed, prodded, poked, gagged, drained, lifted in and out of a bath in hospital, anaethsatised, had 2 teeth pulled, lost all body hair, lost boobs... but I'm still smiling and after over a year sober, my liver isn't even fatty now... you can get through anything if you surrender to the sheet you are going through... PS I hate valium... its funny that I have never taken to drugs but alcohol nearly killed me! (?)
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Hi midlifecrisis,
Others will be way more qualified to help you with your sobriety (I'm struggling enough with my own), but I think I might be able to explain this:
It very well might work differently.
Medications which mess with the brain are often designed with time-release controls so that you don't get too much of the active ingredient at once. Crushing sometimes circumvents this.
I've done it too (not with benzos though). Maybe you should be careful, hard to know exactly how much you're getting if you're not using them the traditional way. Is it possible to OD on benzos?
I wish you the best of luck.
Others will be way more qualified to help you with your sobriety (I'm struggling enough with my own), but I think I might be able to explain this:
Originally Posted by midlifecrisis
It just seems to work differently for me that way (crushing and snorting benzos).
Medications which mess with the brain are often designed with time-release controls so that you don't get too much of the active ingredient at once. Crushing sometimes circumvents this.
I've done it too (not with benzos though). Maybe you should be careful, hard to know exactly how much you're getting if you're not using them the traditional way. Is it possible to OD on benzos?
I wish you the best of luck.
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Originally Posted by Someguy23
Hi midlifecrisis,
Others will be way more qualified to help you with your sobriety (I'm struggling enough with my own), but I think I might be able to explain this:
It very well might work differently.
Medications which mess with the brain are often designed with time-release controls so that you don't get too much of the active ingredient at once. Crushing pills sometimes circumvents this.
I've done it too (not with benzos though). Maybe you should be careful, hard to know exactly how much you're getting if you're not using them the traditional way. Is it possible to OD on benzos?
I wish you the best of luck.
Others will be way more qualified to help you with your sobriety (I'm struggling enough with my own), but I think I might be able to explain this:
It very well might work differently.
Medications which mess with the brain are often designed with time-release controls so that you don't get too much of the active ingredient at once. Crushing pills sometimes circumvents this.
I've done it too (not with benzos though). Maybe you should be careful, hard to know exactly how much you're getting if you're not using them the traditional way. Is it possible to OD on benzos?
I wish you the best of luck.
Benzos are hard to od on unless mixed with alcohol.
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Originally Posted by Zee
I was detoxed in hospital sept 2011, I was acutely malnourished, I was on a feeding tube for 3 weeks up my nose... I have been probed, prodded, poked, gagged, drained, lifted in and out of a bath in hospital, anaethsatised, had 2 teeth pulled, lost all body hair, lost boobs... but I'm still smiling and after over a year sober, my liver isn't even fatty now... you can get through anything if you surrender to the sheet you are going through... PS I hate valium... its funny that I have never taken to drugs but alcohol nearly killed me! (?)
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
Sounds awful
Never make light of something you have not been through... I swelled up like a balloon with ascites and edema... one day I thought I would take a bath.... haha... took me 2 hours to get out, I was in so much pain... that was in March 2011... then in august my stomach swelled up like I was 7-9 months pregnant... it was toxic fluid that my liver was swilling out because it couldnt process it... I was luckily drained in hospital and they relieved my symptoms by draining 6.5 litres of fluid from my stomach cavity..... I may start a new thread about this because its important to get a liver function test for anyone who is either alcoholic, drug addicted, obese, diabetic... I cannot stress enough how much your liver has to go through if it is filtering toxins all the time!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
If the pill does not have a line in the middle, it is NOT meant to be broken and you won't know if that particular dose will harm you immediately or not.
Try to do something for you, Mid, your kids need you fully present.
Try to do something for you, Mid, your kids need you fully present.
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Location: Sussex, England
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This is my first post here on SR....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-my-story.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-my-story.html
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Originally Posted by Zee
Yeah... cheers.. It bloody was
Never make light of something you have not been through... I swelled up like a balloon with ascites and edema... one day I thought I would take a bath.... haha... took me 2 hours to get out, I was in so much pain... that was in March 2011... then in august my stomach swelled up like I was 7-9 months pregnant... it was toxic fluid that my liver was swilling out because it couldnt process it... I was luckily drained in hospital and they relieved my symptoms by draining 6.5 litres of fluid from my stomach cavity..... I may start a new thread about this because its important to get a liver function test for anyone who is either alcoholic, drug addicted, obese, diabetic... I cannot stress enough how much your liver has to go through if it is filtering toxins all the time!Guest
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Originally Posted by sugarbear1
If the pill does not have a line in the middle, it is NOT meant to be broken and you won't know if that particular dose will harm you immediately or not.
Try to do something for you, Mid, your kids need you fully present.
Try to do something for you, Mid, your kids need you fully present.
. I don't know what I'll do when I run out this week Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
I would love to numb my feelings... Doesn't turn out the way you plan it though... it usually ends in people not liking you, until you make amends with a bit of sobriety... my dog hated me until I got sober...that is true feelings when a blimmin chihuahua wont come near you until she smells the coffee not the vodka!
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Midlife, it's my opinion you need some serious help from competent professionals. Judging by your posts here, it seems your issues run very deep. I also believe your issues run much deeper than addiction.I don't believe this site can offer you the help you need at this point in your addiction (for follow-up care yes, but right now you need more).
I urge you to give in and get yourself back into some kind of rehab--as in right now. Virtual group hugs, holding hands and singing Kumbya and words of encouragement from us won't be enough to help you get out of the hellish world you currently inhabit. You should at least start a 90 for 90 program (but I think you need more than that).
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't know any other way to put it, and frankly, I think you're in a very dangerous place right now. And most of all, you deserve a clean, healthy and happy life; work on getting that for yourself and your family.
I urge you to give in and get yourself back into some kind of rehab--as in right now. Virtual group hugs, holding hands and singing Kumbya and words of encouragement from us won't be enough to help you get out of the hellish world you currently inhabit. You should at least start a 90 for 90 program (but I think you need more than that).
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't know any other way to put it, and frankly, I think you're in a very dangerous place right now. And most of all, you deserve a clean, healthy and happy life; work on getting that for yourself and your family.
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Originally Posted by FeenixxRising
Midlife, it's my opinion you need some serious help from competent professionals. Judging by your posts here, it seems your issues run very deep. I also believe your issues run much deeper than addiction.I don't believe this site can offer you the help you need at this point in your addiction (for follow-up care yes, but right now you need more).
I urge you to give in and get yourself back into some kind of rehab--as in right now. Virtual group hugs, holding hands and singing Kumbya and words of encouragement from us won't be enough to help you get out of the hellish world you currently inhabit. You should at least start a 90 for 90 program (but I think you need more than that).
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't know any other way to put it, and frankly, I think you're in a very dangerous place right now. And most of all, you deserve a clean, healthy and happy life; work on getting that for yourself and your family.
I urge you to give in and get yourself back into some kind of rehab--as in right now. Virtual group hugs, holding hands and singing Kumbya and words of encouragement from us won't be enough to help you get out of the hellish world you currently inhabit. You should at least start a 90 for 90 program (but I think you need more than that).
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't know any other way to put it, and frankly, I think you're in a very dangerous place right now. And most of all, you deserve a clean, healthy and happy life; work on getting that for yourself and your family.
They do run deep. I got clean 13 years ago but was seriously bulimic that whole time. The drugs only came back last year. It just seems to Muxh to face.
I would love to do 90 in 90 ( you mean NA right ) but as I've said before ( sorry feel like
A broken record as I've said this before but with different posters coming in all the time
It's tricky ) my closest meeting is over 2 hours away
It's really hard trying to fjnd competent professionals out here in the sticks. I really need to deal with my childhood abuse, eating disorders plus attraction to drugs. It's so messy.
The counsellors I have seen out here all just pay me on the back and say 'how can we make your family life eaise? Put your youngest in daycare blah blahs. My current circumstances are great. Kids and hubby and money no probs. it's the deep stuff I've never faced. And it scares me. Last time I did rehab I wasn't ready and only stopped using again because I fell pregnant.
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