When i first started posting here
mid, yer posts here are really concerning to me and i hope you can go back though them and see the insanity. snorting benzos: is that how they are prescribed? i dont know much about prescription drugs, but havent seen a benzo label that read,"snort one as prescribed." one other thing i know is that snorting benzos is illegal. if ya dont think it is, go snort it in front of a cop.
please!!! for you, get help!!! wheres GOD been through this??? HE loves you and wants you to be happy joyous and free!!! snorting benzos isnt free!!
please!!! for you, get help!!! wheres GOD been through this??? HE loves you and wants you to be happy joyous and free!!! snorting benzos isnt free!!
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It doesn't really say how to take them on the bottle . Nah i know it's not right. I just find it hard to stop doing it that way now more and more.
It's so weird tomsteve. I feel god has been using me even through all of my sin. Some great things have happened. That song that says 'how many times have I broken your heart but still you forgive if only I ask' makes me cry everytime. I keep failing him. I even have forgiven tattooed on my forearm and think one day I'll wake up and it will be gone.
It's funny people say how insane my posts are when I feel the most sane I have in years. I must e really delusional.
It's so weird tomsteve. I feel god has been using me even through all of my sin. Some great things have happened. That song that says 'how many times have I broken your heart but still you forgive if only I ask' makes me cry everytime. I keep failing him. I even have forgiven tattooed on my forearm and think one day I'll wake up and it will be gone.
It's funny people say how insane my posts are when I feel the most sane I have in years. I must e really delusional.
It doesn't really say how to take them on the bottle . Nah i know it's not right. I just find it hard to stop doing it that way now more and more.
It's so weird tomsteve. I feel god has been using me even through all of my sin. Some great things have happened. That song that says 'how many times have I broken your heart but still you forgive if only I ask' makes me cry everytime. I keep failing him. I even have forgiven tattooed on my forearm and think one day I'll wake up and it will be gone.
It's funny people say how insane my posts are when I feel the most sane I have in years. I must e really delusional.
It's so weird tomsteve. I feel god has been using me even through all of my sin. Some great things have happened. That song that says 'how many times have I broken your heart but still you forgive if only I ask' makes me cry everytime. I keep failing him. I even have forgiven tattooed on my forearm and think one day I'll wake up and it will be gone.
It's funny people say how insane my posts are when I feel the most sane I have in years. I must e really delusional.
welp, saying it doesnt say on the bottle how to take em, but snorting em, IMO, is rationalization- a polite form of insanity.
im not saying you dont need the benzos. many poeple( including myself) really do have chemical imbalances and mental problems requiring medication.
im on an anti depressant. what would be yer response if i said i was snorting or smokin them?
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Thanks Jeni, me 2.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
What I heard Mid, was that you are sleeping a little to much. When I was abusing benzos I thought I was awake more than I was.
Thing is, I didn't even know what day it was. My husband said I was always in a stupor and passed out most of the time.I was also in this insane cycle of obsessively counting my pills every day every hour looking at the calender to see how many I would have left and then all over again.
Are you neglecting your children? If we asked your husband would he give the same answer? Mid you need help now. Those children need a mother. A mother who is wide awake.
Thing is, I didn't even know what day it was. My husband said I was always in a stupor and passed out most of the time.I was also in this insane cycle of obsessively counting my pills every day every hour looking at the calender to see how many I would have left and then all over again.
Are you neglecting your children? If we asked your husband would he give the same answer? Mid you need help now. Those children need a mother. A mother who is wide awake.
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Sorry. What do you mean I am sleeping too much.
I know my kids need a mother. I don't think I've ever been great at it as Muxh as I love them, it scares me. The love scares me.
My husband tells me I'm a good mum, but I do fall asleep too early and struggle to get out of bed. They aren't neglected I can assure you. I promise that. Maybe emotionally a little. Anyone looking from the outside would see a loving, altogether, happy, well dressed family with well behaved kidS. they win everything at school, never jn trouble, always clean. i feel bad I am always letting them down by backing away from that closeness.
I know my kids need a mother. I don't think I've ever been great at it as Muxh as I love them, it scares me. The love scares me.
My husband tells me I'm a good mum, but I do fall asleep too early and struggle to get out of bed. They aren't neglected I can assure you. I promise that. Maybe emotionally a little. Anyone looking from the outside would see a loving, altogether, happy, well dressed family with well behaved kidS. they win everything at school, never jn trouble, always clean. i feel bad I am always letting them down by backing away from that closeness.
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Hmmmm. I dunno. I fear closeness. I fear intimate conversation but at the same tkme crave it. I never learnt it. I learned very early on (age 7) to keep secrets and be emotionally distant. Then as a teen love was, well, you know, with boys . Not healthy. I love my kids so Mucknit freaks me out. Hard to explain. Maybe I never felt loved like that.
now look at that! yer honestly lookin at this and seein the effects! good on ya!!! now we're getting somewhere!
Hmmmm. I dunno. I fear closeness. I fear intimate conversation but at the same tkme crave it. I never learnt it. I learned very early on (age 7) to keep secrets and be emotionally distant. Then as a teen love was, well, you know, with boys . Not healthy. I love my kids so Mucknit freaks me out. Hard to explain. Maybe I never felt loved like that.
fear intimate conversations; maybe fear of what others may think?
i never learned how to communicate until i got into recovery. well, i did know how to communicate, but it was more the drunken sailor communication.
the only way i leanred( and am still learning) is by practicing.i had ot start somewhere
actually, ya said prolly more than ya realize right here.
i went back and read some of yer threads/posts. ya had some really sane, sound, serene times. what i see ya were doin then was prayin to God, reading the bible, goin to bible study, goint o sunday service, talkin with yer pastor, and i think i read goin to meetings?
i personally wont stop helping someone that is reaching out.
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mid, i wasnt a pll popper myself. welllll, cept for the last year or so. got a love affair for vicodins. but one thing i have leanred through seeing many,many,many addicts is that that monkey aint the easiest thing to get off yer back. but it can be doneif ya want it!. then after its off yer back, ya can kill the lil bastaad!! ill help even!
i havent met ya in person and only know ya from what ya type here, but i know for a fact yer not a bad person( bad people wouldnt have remorse/regrets for their actions). yer just sick. yer worht every effort you put into it because you are somebody worthwhile because God dont make junk and yer a child of God!!!
i havent met ya in person and only know ya from what ya type here, but i know for a fact yer not a bad person( bad people wouldnt have remorse/regrets for their actions). yer just sick. yer worht every effort you put into it because you are somebody worthwhile because God dont make junk and yer a child of God!!!
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