You might be an alcoholic if .....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: California
Posts: 81
You know the exact opening and closing time of at least 5 liqour stores in the area and the cashiers know you not by your real name but by your drink of choice.."hey Skyy" "whats up Jack" "hows it goin Taaka" "have a good one Brandy"
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
Posts: 226
You pay the $500 annual fee for the Amex Platinum card because it gets you free access to the airline clubs that offer free booze. Then you figure out how to fly as much as possible for "work"! The amount I drank, I broke even on the card week one, was in the money by the first return trip.
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
Originally Posted by Elisabeth888 
if you had your boss standing over when you typed and you had the shakes...made a hasty excuse that I had to go to the restroom.
not funny just an admission of my utter unmanageability.
not funny just an admission of my utter unmanageability.
THAT was a horribly nerve-wracking experience.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
It is cleansing. I certainly am not proud of any of my posts but that does not mean they did not happen. Alcohol makes us do insane things and then tells us that our behavior is normal.
"We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." In sobriety we have to learn from our mistakes not wallowing in the shame of the past we wish never happened.
We all do the same crazy stuff and as a result we can relate to each other and are able to help each other. This is one of the gifts of recovery. No one can understand an alcoholic better than a fellow alcoholic
"We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." In sobriety we have to learn from our mistakes not wallowing in the shame of the past we wish never happened.
We all do the same crazy stuff and as a result we can relate to each other and are able to help each other. This is one of the gifts of recovery. No one can understand an alcoholic better than a fellow alcoholic
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Middle of no where, oklahoma
Posts: 2,696
When you drive your daughter and brand new granddaughter home from the hospital under the influence then when your daughter goes into the store you take a few swigs from your "water bottle" while taking pics of your granddaughter.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by Freedom55
When you take your empties to the bottle depot and need two carts to bring in the empties. Cans and cans of beer and bottles and bottles of wine later, and the grand total is just short of $100. That's a helluva lot of empties.
Saved By Grace
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oop North, Furtlin' me Ferrets
Posts: 410
You might be an alcoholic if he have 40oz bottles of **** stashed all over your room that you peed into when you were drinking because you didnt wanna do the walk of shame out of your room past your roomates, into the fridge for another beer.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by Freedom55
When you just can`t seem to get the corkscrew into the cork, for some strange reason (teehee), so you get a pot, a sieve, and a hammer, hold the bottle over the sieve, smash the neck of the bottle with the hammer, hopefully the sieve will keep any glass out of the wine in the pot (a rather miniscule detail) and drink what`s in the pot.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
a) You're the only person in the movie theater who has to go to the bathroom to **** 3 times 'cuz you smuggled beer in. You sometimes miss the end of the movie because you have to **** so bad, and you sometimes knock over the half full beer that you've stashed under your chair when you return from the bathroom and it drains under the chairs in the front of you.
b) You chug a beer in a public restroom and stash the can under the paper towels in the garbage can so you don't "spoil your spot" for the next time you want to use that restroom.
c) You're embarrassed to keep seeing your doctor with yet another medical problem related to drinking.
d) You start having insomnia even when drinking a lot.
e) You get some phrase stuck in your head that is neither positive or negative and can't get it out.
f) You're more unsteady on your feet when you're not drinking than when you are.
g) You can't remember if you talked to that friend last night or the night before.
h) Your body temperature keeps changing.
i) You stop eating for days at a time and feel neither hungry nor nauseous... just "normal."
j) They cut you a deal at the liquor store because they know you're gonna be in there every day - even when the counter person has changed twice since you first got cut that deal. You're always well behaved and soft spoken, so people tend to cut you deals.
k) You say, "taste schmaste!" and think designer beers are for snobs.
l) You wear the same clothes for days to save on laundering expenses. You don't want to drive to the laundromat if you've been drinking, but you don't want to sit there for an hour without drinking either, so you postpone it until you can schedule a sober time... gang it up with some other errands where you know you're going to be driving and can't drink.
I know these aren't funny per se, but I'm sure many of you are no strangers to these behavior and thought patterns.
I heard a radio show about recovery and the guest said she got to the point where she said to herself that it was OK if she woke up in urine, as long as it was her own urine.
* * * * * * *
"The only thing that refrigerators are good for is keeping beer. Beer bottles do not decay. That's all. That's all."
- Charles Bukowski
b) You chug a beer in a public restroom and stash the can under the paper towels in the garbage can so you don't "spoil your spot" for the next time you want to use that restroom.
c) You're embarrassed to keep seeing your doctor with yet another medical problem related to drinking.
d) You start having insomnia even when drinking a lot.
e) You get some phrase stuck in your head that is neither positive or negative and can't get it out.
f) You're more unsteady on your feet when you're not drinking than when you are.
g) You can't remember if you talked to that friend last night or the night before.
h) Your body temperature keeps changing.
i) You stop eating for days at a time and feel neither hungry nor nauseous... just "normal."
j) They cut you a deal at the liquor store because they know you're gonna be in there every day - even when the counter person has changed twice since you first got cut that deal. You're always well behaved and soft spoken, so people tend to cut you deals.
k) You say, "taste schmaste!" and think designer beers are for snobs.
l) You wear the same clothes for days to save on laundering expenses. You don't want to drive to the laundromat if you've been drinking, but you don't want to sit there for an hour without drinking either, so you postpone it until you can schedule a sober time... gang it up with some other errands where you know you're going to be driving and can't drink.
I know these aren't funny per se, but I'm sure many of you are no strangers to these behavior and thought patterns.
I heard a radio show about recovery and the guest said she got to the point where she said to herself that it was OK if she woke up in urine, as long as it was her own urine.
* * * * * * *
"The only thing that refrigerators are good for is keeping beer. Beer bottles do not decay. That's all. That's all."
- Charles Bukowski
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Toronto ONtario
Posts: 80
...your'e conversations with the 911 (emergency) operators are short and to the point because you not only know all the questions they will ask, you have learned all the terminology, short hand, and acronyms that go with withdrawal symptoms.
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