Today Is The Day
now what?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 85
I just had one of those dreams I keep reading about, where someone offers me a drink and I briefly consider it. In the dream, I caught myself just as quickly as I would in real life, and walked away.
And even in the dream, that felt good.
d
And even in the dream, that felt good.
d
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 147
That is a sure sign of strong will power, turning down a drink in a dream! Fantastic!
All these posts I'm reading here are helping so much, it's helping me to see alchohol as the poison it really is and I'm not tempted in the slightest, I hope this feeling continues.
Keep up the good work Huntress, and keep the insightful posts coming.
All these posts I'm reading here are helping so much, it's helping me to see alchohol as the poison it really is and I'm not tempted in the slightest, I hope this feeling continues.
Keep up the good work Huntress, and keep the insightful posts coming.
MINEr
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 505
Just did a quick once over of this thread, and I am glad you are doing well. I started a daily journal on SR around day 20, and kept it up till day 100. It helped me tremendously, giving me a good outlet for the myriad emotions I was going through. It is quite entertaining to go back and read them, though I haven't done so in a month or so, and said thread is probably buried by now. I will try to follow this, and see if I can offer and/or learn. We are all in this together.
(I'm a total AA homer, BTW, so a lot of what I say will come from that direction)
camedown
(I'm a total AA homer, BTW, so a lot of what I say will come from that direction)
camedown
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 267
Huntress - tonight during my flight I dreamnt that I had two beers. It was so real. I mean real to the point that I woke up with a pit in my stomach. I remember distinctly worrying about confessing on SR or more specifically if I would have the courage to reset the date. I wish I was where you are in mind. I am still a little freaked.....but to be clear, still sober!
One thought - if a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, did it fall? I know SR is there, but it is anonymous. And even though people will throw the sarcastic comment here or there if I admit defeat, is that enough? I have been having trouble with the notion of Aa, but after that dream, I can see where a face to face could have helped clear the pit in my gut. I am still an SR'r, but really thinking about Aa.
One thought - if a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, did it fall? I know SR is there, but it is anonymous. And even though people will throw the sarcastic comment here or there if I admit defeat, is that enough? I have been having trouble with the notion of Aa, but after that dream, I can see where a face to face could have helped clear the pit in my gut. I am still an SR'r, but really thinking about Aa.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 267
Originally Posted by munchkin05 
I'm seriously thinking of attending AA meetings too mentalloop. Just probably going to wait till hubby gets home.
now what?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by MentalLoop
Huntress - tonight during my flight I dreamnt that I had two beers. It was so real. I mean real to the point that I woke up with a pit in my stomach. I remember distinctly worrying about confessing on SR or more specifically if I would have the courage to reset the date. I wish I was where you are in mind. I am still a little freaked.....but to be clear, still sober!
One thought - if a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, did it fall? I know SR is there, but it is anonymous. And even though people will throw the sarcastic comment here or there if I admit defeat, is that enough? I have been having trouble with the notion of Aa, but after that dream, I can see where a face to face could have helped clear the pit in my gut. I am still an SR'r, but really thinking about Aa.
One thought - if a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, did it fall? I know SR is there, but it is anonymous. And even though people will throw the sarcastic comment here or there if I admit defeat, is that enough? I have been having trouble with the notion of Aa, but after that dream, I can see where a face to face could have helped clear the pit in my gut. I am still an SR'r, but really thinking about Aa.
Best of luck!
d
now what?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 85
Well, I've been in my apartment all weekend by myself, playing games and chatting online, playing my guitar and reading, drinking tea, cooking, etc. I didn't go out because the weather is nasty, so it's no surprise that I got a touch of the pings this evening. I found that I couldn't focus on the book I was reading, couldn't nap, wasn't interested in any of my usual activities, and...after a while of this, I realized that this was precisely the feeling that a nice bottle of red would take care of.
I didn't consider the idea, but the fact that it came to me at all bothers me. I selected a book that engages me, found a comfortable place to lie down, and absorbed myself in it (so maybe part of the problem was a book that I wasn't really enjoying). By the end of the first chapter, the feeling had fled.
If that hadn't worked, I'd have gone for a walk in the rain and dark if I had to. It didn't come to that, though.
d
I didn't consider the idea, but the fact that it came to me at all bothers me. I selected a book that engages me, found a comfortable place to lie down, and absorbed myself in it (so maybe part of the problem was a book that I wasn't really enjoying). By the end of the first chapter, the feeling had fled.
If that hadn't worked, I'd have gone for a walk in the rain and dark if I had to. It didn't come to that, though.
d
now what?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 85
I'm reading another thread somewhere in the fora about alcoholism, and someone said again that it is the condition of "not being able to stop at one."
I disagree. It's the condition of not wanting to stop at one.
d
I disagree. It's the condition of not wanting to stop at one.
d
now what?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 85
Interesting.
We're very different animals, you and I. I simply don't understand the inability to exert one's will over a habit or substance, because I'm not built that way.
Why can't you stop if you want to, though? I'm not trying to be snarky or any such thing, and I apologize if I come across that way. It is not my intention.
I've heard this all my life and read about it and I simply don't understand how one does not make a choice each time they raise a glass to their lips. I'm honestly trying to understand. Any explanation would be appreciated.
d
We're very different animals, you and I. I simply don't understand the inability to exert one's will over a habit or substance, because I'm not built that way.
Why can't you stop if you want to, though? I'm not trying to be snarky or any such thing, and I apologize if I come across that way. It is not my intention.
I've heard this all my life and read about it and I simply don't understand how one does not make a choice each time they raise a glass to their lips. I'm honestly trying to understand. Any explanation would be appreciated.
d
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Irish
Posts: 552
From what I have Read Huntress.....you have nearly Compleated a Month away from the Booze.......Congrats.I am an adult Child Of A dysfunctional Family.>>> I did not think so at first, until I read the Laundry List of ACA>>>>Also Power Less over Alcohol and Drugs>>>>>>clean And Dry now Many Years.I have Attended 12 Step Meetings >>>>>.they have kept me Dry/Sober..........but not really Grateful or Happy......Something was Still Lacking>>>>>>>>>>I never Enjoyed my Childhood>>>but thats all changed....Sense I started attending ACA,and Got the Big Red Book.
I have seen on this site People that have used another way of getting Dry/Sober,Its Called AVRT,Google it for info........Id say If I had seen this 40 years ago Id have tried it.
I might even use it yet to Pack in the Cigarettes>>>>It will work.
AVRT is all about the Beast of Addiction...and Its about been aware of the Addictive Voice in my/your head.
How is the Guitar going....I love it,It was my Companion through all my Sufferings.
Good luck to you.....Get Safely Home and Thanks for making the World a safer Place for us all.
I have seen on this site People that have used another way of getting Dry/Sober,Its Called AVRT,Google it for info........Id say If I had seen this 40 years ago Id have tried it.
I might even use it yet to Pack in the Cigarettes>>>>It will work.
AVRT is all about the Beast of Addiction...and Its about been aware of the Addictive Voice in my/your head.
How is the Guitar going....I love it,It was my Companion through all my Sufferings.
Good luck to you.....Get Safely Home and Thanks for making the World a safer Place for us all.
now what?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 85
Thanks, micealc. I've been reading up on AVRT for a while, and my partner is going to order the book soon, so I'll read it soon.
I'm very much enjoying my guitar, but expect it will be a long time before I am at the level of actually playing music. But that isn't the point. The point is just playing it, and I'm doing a lot of that.
d
I'm very much enjoying my guitar, but expect it will be a long time before I am at the level of actually playing music. But that isn't the point. The point is just playing it, and I'm doing a lot of that.
d
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Irish
Posts: 552
Some of these Theroies are Simple..I have wrote about them Several Times Myself.There is another one called Parodoxical Intention..........
I think the Main Message of All is.........Whos in Charge.
This word alone Stops all thinking.....So whos Running my Brain>>>>there are two im told......at least.
One is the Mid Brain>>>which is simular to an animals,acts on Instint,the other seemingly only Humans Have ,the neo Cortex.This is the Brain that can Decide>>>>is it good or bad for me.
We cross the line somewhere and we become addicted to something,if we have over indulged in it>>> ie>>Alcohol,Drugs,Food,Gambling,Sex, we become like animals
Im no expert...........but it makes sense,there are People here far more familure with these techniques.
Cheers.
I think the Main Message of All is.........Whos in Charge.
This word alone Stops all thinking.....So whos Running my Brain>>>>there are two im told......at least.
One is the Mid Brain>>>which is simular to an animals,acts on Instint,the other seemingly only Humans Have ,the neo Cortex.This is the Brain that can Decide>>>>is it good or bad for me.
We cross the line somewhere and we become addicted to something,if we have over indulged in it>>> ie>>Alcohol,Drugs,Food,Gambling,Sex, we become like animals
Im no expert...........but it makes sense,there are People here far more familure with these techniques.
Cheers.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,476
This is just my opinion of course....
For a long time I really didn't have a choice - I'd drunk to the extent I only had only solution for everything - drink.
OK, you can argue I still had a choice but I don't believe I did - not in real terms.
The fear of change, the fear of pain, the physical reliance on the booze, the doubt and uncertainty of what my life would be like without booze - all that effectively robbed me of my choice.
Of course, ultimately, I had to quit or die.
It was rough but I survived, my head cleared, I learned some other skills, got some support, and my power of choice came back.
D
For a long time I really didn't have a choice - I'd drunk to the extent I only had only solution for everything - drink.
OK, you can argue I still had a choice but I don't believe I did - not in real terms.
The fear of change, the fear of pain, the physical reliance on the booze, the doubt and uncertainty of what my life would be like without booze - all that effectively robbed me of my choice.
Of course, ultimately, I had to quit or die.
It was rough but I survived, my head cleared, I learned some other skills, got some support, and my power of choice came back.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Irish
Posts: 552
Having said all that ,I still think the Obsession for alcohol would not have left me only That I Attended AA.
I defenitely got the Message when I read the Laundry List of ACA.
For the first time ever I seen where the Disease of Alcoholism could have come from,and how I had been affected.....Or as they say in ACA...........was Infected.
This Realization has Kept me sober.......Why would I ever Try a Substance again that Almost destroyed Me...........
My family has suffered great loss from this Terrible Disease,,several Deaths......in my Family of Origion .
I defenitely got the Message when I read the Laundry List of ACA.
For the first time ever I seen where the Disease of Alcoholism could have come from,and how I had been affected.....Or as they say in ACA...........was Infected.
This Realization has Kept me sober.......Why would I ever Try a Substance again that Almost destroyed Me...........
My family has suffered great loss from this Terrible Disease,,several Deaths......in my Family of Origion .
now what?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by Dee74
OK, you can argue I still had a choice but I don't believe I did - not in real terms.
The fear of change, the fear of pain, the physical reliance on the booze, the doubt and uncertainty of what my life would be like without booze - all that effectively robbed me of my choice.
The fear of change, the fear of pain, the physical reliance on the booze, the doubt and uncertainty of what my life would be like without booze - all that effectively robbed me of my choice.
d
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