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Old 12-21-2011, 09:47 AM
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More musing on my thread....

I've just begun reading the outstanding thread started by Jabbadabutt (what a great moniker!). I'm on page 2 where people are discussing his efforts to moderate.

As I read this, I realize that I did not face this question at all. I suppose I should be thankful (?) for that. It was not an option for me because I was at the point that I no longer saw the point of having only one bottle of wine at a time. When you reach that point, there is no point in seeing if you can "have just one drink" like a normal person. None.

I was already well past the point that I even tasted it. So what would be the point in trying to drink socially, anyway? There would be none.

So complete abstention was my only option.

I will remember this.
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Old 12-21-2011, 10:30 AM
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Originally Posted by huntress View Post
More musing on my thread....

I've just begun reading the outstanding thread started by Jabbadabutt (what a great moniker!). I'm on page 2 where people are discussing his efforts to moderate.

As I read this, I realize that I did not face this question at all. I suppose I should be thankful (?) for that. It was not an option for me because I was at the point that I no longer saw the point of having only one bottle of wine at a time. When you reach that point, there is no point in seeing if you can "have just one drink" like a normal person. None.

I was already well past the point that I even tasted it. So what would be the point in trying to drink socially, anyway? There would be none.

So complete abstention was my only option.

I will remember this.
The mere idea of "moderate drinking" is my downfall...
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Old 12-21-2011, 10:59 AM
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Thanks for the mention Huntress. I appreciate "the business"
I started my thread I think for the same reasons as you.....with the goal of getting support. I got a lot more than that here in the way of understanding and knowledge. As I have noted in my thread (I suppose you will get there eventually in the thread) moderating DID NOT WORK out so well for me and I had to make the very scary decision to not drink at all. It was the only way I was going to turn this ship around. Lokking back, I was afraid for no reason. I encourage you to come here to SR VERY often (as often as you need) and even more so, post here and share your journey periodically (I typically post once a week) with us. I find great help in hearing the "whole story" from people and not just bits and pieces of their issues. I wish you well. I will keep an eye out for you on here....in a good way.
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Old 12-21-2011, 10:45 PM
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Thanks, Jabba. I'm reading your thread start to finish because someone commented on the most recent page of it about your struggles with moderation, and your ultimate decision to abstain completely. It's a great thread. I find it very enlightening.
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Old 12-21-2011, 11:39 PM
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More thoughts from Jabba's thread....

He isn't the first person I've seen talk about this, but it's another thing that I admit I don't quite get. Why do we feel the need to give excuses for why we aren't drinking? Why don't we just not drink, and if someone asks us why, say, "Because I don't feel like it." Why does not drinking require any explanation?
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Old 12-21-2011, 11:41 PM
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It's 2:32AM awake and on day 6

I can also relate a lot to your posts. I just hit my "rock bottom" last Thursday. I think for years, I have had a problem but there were always people worse and it wasn't like I was drinking in the morning. But one drink was never enough! I have put myself in some scary situations and this week I found myself messing up in the one place I always had figured out... my job. I love what I do and since I graduated college it has defined me. The rest of my life has been a bit of a mess... wrong boyfriends, battling bulimia, self-esteem issues none of which reared there heads at work. At work I was a rock star. This week I let the alcohol come out and I made an a## out of myself. Everyone knows and while what I did was bad it wasn't nearly as bad as some of my other blackout experiences which happens about 5-6 times a year for the past 10 years. So I went to my first AA meeting tonight and I'm going to start this journey. It just scares me to think of my life without drinking. Does this mean I can't have a glass of champagne on my wedding day? Do I have to get all new friends? How am I going to get a new bf as in my early 30s this is all people do. I guess as they say, you can just take one day at a time. All i know is that I dont want to go to work tomorrow and i havent felt like that ever before!
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Old 12-21-2011, 11:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Cascabel View Post
No really clear idea why. I suspect that I get cocky and then slip into the "what the hell, you were never a drunk, things weren't that bad, you can control what you drink" mode and there is another try shot to hell. So, I just do as the song says: "I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again".
Jeez..that could be me talking!! I'm on day 7 (again) 2012 is going to be my year though
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Old 12-21-2011, 11:55 PM
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welcome aboard MarciaMarcia

Many people have asked the same questions

I had to make a lot of changes in my life for sure, but I don't regret any of them - my life is immeasurably better.

None of us would be here if we thought we were losing out by being sober.

I know sobriety can loom as some kind of enormous undertaking but just take it a day at a time - the journeys the same as any other...one foot in front of the other

you'll find a lot of support here

D
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Old 12-22-2011, 03:19 AM
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Hi, MARCIAMARCIA (love your name! )! Welcome to the board!

I know it's scary, but you'll be fine. I like Dee's line:
the journeys the same as any other...one foot in front of the other.
I've found this site to be invaluable. They listen (and if they don't, I at least have a place to talk about what's going through my head), and they have tons of helpful advice, and they've all been where we are now. Hang in there!
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Old 12-22-2011, 04:28 AM
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Ovrock,

I agree entirely. I could never settle for one drink always had to have another and if it was wine at home sure my wife would have a glass and if I had another she would go along with it. But hey it didn't really matter because thee was probably another bottle opened somewhere in the kitchen so as far as she knew I had been my usual self and had 2 glasses. The reality was a bottle at least. Or something else. I did that for years and years. Now ashamed.

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Old 12-22-2011, 01:28 PM
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Right...tonight instead of looking at old photos and stuff and feeling sorry for myself (again) Tomorrow is day 8
I went to the docs this morning...and addaction and also had a bank card in my pocket to get money and a prescription for my mum...and baccy for myself
I was sooooooooooo proud I was able to do so without taking out an extra few quid to buy booze cos i made a plan...
This might seem seem like a little thing but to me it is not!
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Old 12-22-2011, 01:51 PM
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Little thing? Life is composed of "little things" like that.

Every positive choice we make proves we have power over our addictions.

Well done, and congrats on day 8, cazzievee!
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Old 12-22-2011, 02:59 PM
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Excellent thoughts from that thread:

From BoutDamnTime:
Imagine that in the "social situations" you manage to drink a glass of wine and walk away. What did you gain other than a very, very dangerous glimpse back into the abyss?
Quoted by SSIL75:
How you spend your days is how you spend your years.
And...jabbadabutt nails it:
a little crazy how we end up treating ourselves like a 2 year old who went a whole day without pooping in their pants but it is what it is
Kinda depressing to juxtapose the second and third, but it is what it is.
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Old 12-26-2011, 08:41 AM
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Day 16.

My Christmas guests, two of my best friends, left this afternoon. They got here Friday night, and we spent two joyous days shopping and seeing the sights. Both of them drink, and they drank in my presence/home, but of course were respectful to my desire to abstain. Neither of them is a problem drinker in the least, so there was no tension. They did leave three cold beers in the fridge when they left today, so I put them in a bag and will take them to work tomorrow. I'm sure one of my colleagues will enjoy them.

I'm doing great. I've already dropped four or five pounds (some of it was no doubt water weight) despite eating anything I want whenever I want. I haven't had an urge or given alcohol a second thought for over a week, maybe more. The ease with which I'm leaving alcohol behind (so far) makes me a bit nervous. I can just imagine that I'll go a long time without alcohol or without wanting it, then get the notion that I can drink if I want to because quitting was "too easy" for me.

My partner made the decision to return permanently to sobriety just a couple of days ago (she posts here as Talulah), so I'm excited for our new life. We're still geographically separated, which I'm viewing as a gift while we both embrace a sober life and get our **** together. We'll have time to reacquaint ourselves when we are each solid again.

Today, I took a step toward my "I want" list. I ordered a classical guitar and a beginners lesson book. I've been looking for a decent one to learn on and a place to take lessons for some time now with no success, so I decided that I'll have to teach myself. Hmph. (In the 16 days I've been sober, I've already saved more money than I spent on the guitar and book, which also feels pretty awesome.)

Anyway. Just checking in. Hope y'all had a great Christmas.
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Old 12-26-2011, 02:19 PM
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enjoy the guitar - and congrats on 16 days huntress

D
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Old 12-26-2011, 03:30 PM
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Originally Posted by huntress View Post
The ease with which I'm leaving alcohol behind (so far) makes me a bit nervous. I can just imagine that I'll go a long time without alcohol or without wanting it, then get the notion that I can drink if I want to because quitting was "too easy" for me.
That was my problem too. Then a few drinks every three weeks, then every two weeks, then every week, then every day...

Pleased to hear you could enjoy your friends company over the holidays. Merry Xmas.
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Old 12-26-2011, 03:51 PM
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That's great both on the 16 days and the guitar! We're starting new habits as well that revolve almost nothing around alcohol.(food is, and will be always a habit, which of course many times involves alcohol)
That's good that it went so well with your friends!
Take care and see ya tomorrow.
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Old 12-26-2011, 04:36 PM
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Congrats my sober twin!! As I write this at 7:30 my time it is already Tuesday where you are...which leaves me behind for 5 hours.
Hopefully you are sleeping so you will have an excellent day 17.
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Old 12-27-2011, 05:02 AM
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Good Morning!!! Now I am back with you...Day 17 wa-hoooo!!!
Have a great one!!
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Old 12-27-2011, 05:05 AM
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It was an uneventful day. I went to work and sat around for hours and no one talked to me or even knew I was there.

I'm too bored to drink today.
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