Class of June 2011
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: BoulderCo
Posts: 111
^I'm glad you're feeling better this morning.
I'm feeling better too. Spent my day laying in the sun and reading. It was kinda nice not having to get up and refill my drink all the time. I feel really relaxed at the moment.
And I feel kinda odd because every time I have to talk myself out of using all the reasons are incredibly vain and shallow. But those silly shallow reasons have been keeping me motivated. I'm hoping in time I'll find something else other than that alcohol was making me fat or that all the snorting was destroying my nose. But for now they work and I guess that's what matters.
I'm feeling better too. Spent my day laying in the sun and reading. It was kinda nice not having to get up and refill my drink all the time. I feel really relaxed at the moment.
And I feel kinda odd because every time I have to talk myself out of using all the reasons are incredibly vain and shallow. But those silly shallow reasons have been keeping me motivated. I'm hoping in time I'll find something else other than that alcohol was making me fat or that all the snorting was destroying my nose. But for now they work and I guess that's what matters.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: london UK
Posts: 3
Hi all
Internet has been down all weekend, so unable to check in... Bit tough at times this weekend, as I have found just logging on and catching up on everyone's progress really helpful.
Still sober and feeling very proud of myself, although feeling a bit sad about how not drinking for 10 days seems like such an achievement when some folks wouldn't even give it a second thought. But I am learning to accept that for me - someone who has been drunk nearly every weekend, and at least once a week for the last 15 years - it is an achievement!
Have been really tired, and sleeping like the dead, which surely is better than waking up at stupid o'clock nearly every morning with the dreads. Also been having the most vivid dreams, often involving people I have behaved badly around, treated cruelly etc. I wonder if the tiredness comes from the fact that I have admitted to myself that I am an alcoholic and the dreams from my subconscious working through the stuff I haven't allowed myself to think about, and drown with a few too many savignon blancs!
Interestingly as I type this there is a family guy episode on BBC 3 about AA and 'messing with Mr Booze'... Quite amusing.
Cherry, please don't think of your thoughts as vain and shallow... These are the thoughts that are helping you through. We should be thinking about the reasons for not drinking etc.
Right now I can taste the wine, and would give anything just to hold a sip of it in my mouth, and keep thinking no one but me will know if I have a glass or two - but as cheesy as it sounds I know I will only be letting myself down, and I know I will wake up tomorrow having gotten through yet another craving!
I found all sorts of reasons for having a drink - and as stupid as it sounds, the most popular reason currently is a celebration of the fact that I haven't had a drink for 10 days... Madness!
sorry, haven't been able to share with anyone the past few days - so bit of a torrent of words I am afraid...
thanks to those who took the time to read all my outpourings, and thanks to all sharing! so helpful
night night
Internet has been down all weekend, so unable to check in... Bit tough at times this weekend, as I have found just logging on and catching up on everyone's progress really helpful.
Still sober and feeling very proud of myself, although feeling a bit sad about how not drinking for 10 days seems like such an achievement when some folks wouldn't even give it a second thought. But I am learning to accept that for me - someone who has been drunk nearly every weekend, and at least once a week for the last 15 years - it is an achievement!
Have been really tired, and sleeping like the dead, which surely is better than waking up at stupid o'clock nearly every morning with the dreads. Also been having the most vivid dreams, often involving people I have behaved badly around, treated cruelly etc. I wonder if the tiredness comes from the fact that I have admitted to myself that I am an alcoholic and the dreams from my subconscious working through the stuff I haven't allowed myself to think about, and drown with a few too many savignon blancs!
Interestingly as I type this there is a family guy episode on BBC 3 about AA and 'messing with Mr Booze'... Quite amusing.
Cherry, please don't think of your thoughts as vain and shallow... These are the thoughts that are helping you through. We should be thinking about the reasons for not drinking etc.
Right now I can taste the wine, and would give anything just to hold a sip of it in my mouth, and keep thinking no one but me will know if I have a glass or two - but as cheesy as it sounds I know I will only be letting myself down, and I know I will wake up tomorrow having gotten through yet another craving!
I found all sorts of reasons for having a drink - and as stupid as it sounds, the most popular reason currently is a celebration of the fact that I haven't had a drink for 10 days... Madness!
sorry, haven't been able to share with anyone the past few days - so bit of a torrent of words I am afraid...
thanks to those who took the time to read all my outpourings, and thanks to all sharing! so helpful
night night
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Morning everyone. Had a dream my car would not drive up a steep hill- and I had that panic that sets in when that happens..... woke up, got up, very early. My Dad was in the passenger seat- he is a model of sobriety but for lots of other reasons I do not want to be like him- it's one of my "issues". Don't know what it means.......If it's important I will deal with it in time
Today the "pink cloud" has undeniably gone- but I would much rather be a "wet fart" than a "drunk wet fart".
Wishing everyone strength
Today the "pink cloud" has undeniably gone- but I would much rather be a "wet fart" than a "drunk wet fart".
Wishing everyone strength
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,618
Welcome Iwantmeback 
Up to you, but I actually found it more useful not to use a glass that reminded me of my drinking days - I think it makes the break harder to use things that remind us of the recent past?
D
Up to you, but I actually found it more useful not to use a glass that reminded me of my drinking days - I think it makes the break harder to use things that remind us of the recent past?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: CO.
Posts: 141
6)
Hey all! I hope everybody had a good weekend. Dee you aren't kidding, it does quiet down around here during the weekend. I've missed keeping up with you folks! Really though, it has been great spending a bunch of time with the family this weekend. We have had quality days together and are as ready as can be for the week ahead! Tomorrow will be 7 days again for me and it feels like I am feeling strong and focused on maintaining the pattern!
4thekids--, you have such a way with words! Sleep is our best friend; it really helps hit the reset button after a good night's sleep. It sounds like you are ready to go some more!
Cherry--, It sounds like life isn't too awful if you are comfortably reading poolside! I am sorry about the raw emotions... I guess that those feelings mean you feel deeply about the direction your life is going...this stuff matters to you. That is what I tell myself when I ask myself why it has to be such a hard thing to get through. Be strong kid.
Coyote--, Have you ever had ginger ice cream? I wonder how that would go with a nice frosty mug of ginger beer?!? MMmmmm...
1 for 3 today with 2 RBI's. it's amazing how well I can see the ball when I'm not trying to shake off a hangover. Hit a couple of curve balls hard today (foul) which I've really been fooled by earlier in the year, so I am feeling good rolling toward the all-star break. With all the efforts I've put in since April, I am having one of the best seasons of my life. Talk about awesome motivation!
Have a great Monday friends, and welcome to all of the newcomers!
PN
Hey all! I hope everybody had a good weekend. Dee you aren't kidding, it does quiet down around here during the weekend. I've missed keeping up with you folks! Really though, it has been great spending a bunch of time with the family this weekend. We have had quality days together and are as ready as can be for the week ahead! Tomorrow will be 7 days again for me and it feels like I am feeling strong and focused on maintaining the pattern!
4thekids--, you have such a way with words! Sleep is our best friend; it really helps hit the reset button after a good night's sleep. It sounds like you are ready to go some more!
Cherry--, It sounds like life isn't too awful if you are comfortably reading poolside! I am sorry about the raw emotions... I guess that those feelings mean you feel deeply about the direction your life is going...this stuff matters to you. That is what I tell myself when I ask myself why it has to be such a hard thing to get through. Be strong kid.
Coyote--, Have you ever had ginger ice cream? I wonder how that would go with a nice frosty mug of ginger beer?!? MMmmmm...
1 for 3 today with 2 RBI's. it's amazing how well I can see the ball when I'm not trying to shake off a hangover. Hit a couple of curve balls hard today (foul) which I've really been fooled by earlier in the year, so I am feeling good rolling toward the all-star break. With all the efforts I've put in since April, I am having one of the best seasons of my life. Talk about awesome motivation!
Have a great Monday friends, and welcome to all of the newcomers!
PN
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: BoulderCo
Posts: 111
Papa - I'm not sure if our crappy little patio counts as poolside. But I definitely can't complain about too much today. It's the weekend, the sun was out, I had no obligations and I have a good book. So for today at least life is good.
And it's pretty amazing what we can do when we're not intoxicate or hungover. Glad you had a good day.
Giggles - Congrats on day 10 I think you're right in that reasons are reasons no matter what they are at this stage.
Welcome Iwantmeback
And it's pretty amazing what we can do when we're not intoxicate or hungover. Glad you had a good day.
Giggles - Congrats on day 10
I think you're right in that reasons are reasons no matter what they are at this stage.Welcome Iwantmeback
Last edited by CherryD; 06-12-2011 at 10:16 PM. Reason: I can't spell
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Morning all.
Ive not posted much over the weekend but ive been reading all yours and checking in as often as I can. I usually leave myself permanentaly logged into SR now.
The pain has definately eased off although comes back now and then but it is more bearable.
Ive done 4 meetings in 4 days and it was great. My daughters were with their Dad this weekend so I have more freedom to try out new ones. Did my usuals meetings Thursday and Friday evening and Sunday afternoon (decided to go there instead of the convention as my sponsor shares the chair at that meeting and I needed to reconnect with her). Saturday evening I went to a new one, it was a candlelit meeting, lovely and calming, then afterwards when for a scrummy Thai meal with an AA friend who is very similar in sober time and personal circumstances to me and who lives 5 mins down the road. We were marvelling how we had had a great evening, entertainment (the meetings - there were lots of laughs), fantastic food (Thai is my favourite) and good conversation for less than £20 each. We could taste and enjoy the food whereas if we had been drinking we would of been rushing it to get back to the pub for last orders and we would of both been drunk before the meal anyway and probably not bothered. It was a lovely evening and im grateful to have been shown how I can enjoy myself out socially without a drink so early in my recovery considering I had become such a lonesome hermit and stopped going out pretty much just drinking alone at home.
Apart from that ive been rather lazy so no Paddy I havent started on the garden. Im not beating myself up about it Ive decided im going to allow myself some slack until ive got a month sober. That doesnt mean im gong to be lazy the next 3 weeks but if I feel tired and not so motivated im not going to push myself to do anything except get to the meetings and do what I need to do to stay sober. When ive got a month then I need to address my diet and start some regular exercise and set myself a routine where I spend at least an hour a day doing something useful at home (the garden/clearing clutter etc). Life is busy enough with work and my daughters need running about and entertaining frequently - its a novelty to be able to do that without a second thought. My eldest has a party to go to this weekend and it was so nice to say yes of course you can go and I will give you a lift/pick you up without panicing cos its Saturday night and I would be drinking and how do I get around it because drink came before everything. Its so hard to see when you are in the fog of the addiction how ridiculous and selfish it is or its hard to care because the drink was priority over everything. Im so glad that I currently feel free of that hell.
Ive had no cravings at all this weekend - im so lucky. The habit of wanting to drink after work seems to have left me as well. So Ive just got to be prepared for those out of the blue sudden cravings that occasionally hit when I might not expect it. Ive learned through experience to avoid trigger places, people and times.
Hello to newcomers and well done to everyone. Its not easy but for me, I can say that this time round (I mean since early May when I seriously started trying again) it has mostly been pretty easy and that is thanks to AA. A year or so ago I thought it wasnt for me and didnt really enjoy the meetings or feel connected to the people. Thank god I went back because I dont think I could live without it now. Its given me a social life back on top of helping me stay off the booze! I know many of you are reluctant or dont like the thought of AA but if you want help saving your life then all I can say is that its out there and it doesnt hurt to give it a try.
Day 9 has come quickly - the first 5 days dragged but the past 4 (meetings days) have flown by. I really wish I could go to one every day - there are enough within a 10 mile radius here for me to be able to locationwise - I am very lucky indeed!
Have a good monday everyone - isnt it bloody ACE to be clear headed and feeling well on a Monday!
PS x
Ive not posted much over the weekend but ive been reading all yours and checking in as often as I can. I usually leave myself permanentaly logged into SR now.
The pain has definately eased off although comes back now and then but it is more bearable.
Ive done 4 meetings in 4 days and it was great. My daughters were with their Dad this weekend so I have more freedom to try out new ones. Did my usuals meetings Thursday and Friday evening and Sunday afternoon (decided to go there instead of the convention as my sponsor shares the chair at that meeting and I needed to reconnect with her). Saturday evening I went to a new one, it was a candlelit meeting, lovely and calming, then afterwards when for a scrummy Thai meal with an AA friend who is very similar in sober time and personal circumstances to me and who lives 5 mins down the road. We were marvelling how we had had a great evening, entertainment (the meetings - there were lots of laughs), fantastic food (Thai is my favourite) and good conversation for less than £20 each. We could taste and enjoy the food whereas if we had been drinking we would of been rushing it to get back to the pub for last orders and we would of both been drunk before the meal anyway and probably not bothered. It was a lovely evening and im grateful to have been shown how I can enjoy myself out socially without a drink so early in my recovery considering I had become such a lonesome hermit and stopped going out pretty much just drinking alone at home.
Apart from that ive been rather lazy so no Paddy I havent started on the garden. Im not beating myself up about it Ive decided im going to allow myself some slack until ive got a month sober. That doesnt mean im gong to be lazy the next 3 weeks but if I feel tired and not so motivated im not going to push myself to do anything except get to the meetings and do what I need to do to stay sober. When ive got a month then I need to address my diet and start some regular exercise and set myself a routine where I spend at least an hour a day doing something useful at home (the garden/clearing clutter etc). Life is busy enough with work and my daughters need running about and entertaining frequently - its a novelty to be able to do that without a second thought. My eldest has a party to go to this weekend and it was so nice to say yes of course you can go and I will give you a lift/pick you up without panicing cos its Saturday night and I would be drinking and how do I get around it because drink came before everything. Its so hard to see when you are in the fog of the addiction how ridiculous and selfish it is or its hard to care because the drink was priority over everything. Im so glad that I currently feel free of that hell.
Ive had no cravings at all this weekend - im so lucky. The habit of wanting to drink after work seems to have left me as well. So Ive just got to be prepared for those out of the blue sudden cravings that occasionally hit when I might not expect it. Ive learned through experience to avoid trigger places, people and times.
Hello to newcomers and well done to everyone. Its not easy but for me, I can say that this time round (I mean since early May when I seriously started trying again) it has mostly been pretty easy and that is thanks to AA. A year or so ago I thought it wasnt for me and didnt really enjoy the meetings or feel connected to the people. Thank god I went back because I dont think I could live without it now. Its given me a social life back on top of helping me stay off the booze! I know many of you are reluctant or dont like the thought of AA but if you want help saving your life then all I can say is that its out there and it doesnt hurt to give it a try.
Day 9 has come quickly - the first 5 days dragged but the past 4 (meetings days) have flown by. I really wish I could go to one every day - there are enough within a 10 mile radius here for me to be able to locationwise - I am very lucky indeed!
Have a good monday everyone - isnt it bloody ACE to be clear headed and feeling well on a Monday!
PS x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Hi Everyone - I didn't officially join yet - Day 9 for me today. I have been reading everyone's progress and am proud of everyone. I'm starting another week alone w/ huz traveling but SR has been giving me tremendous support. Off to walk the dog and then go to the gym. Have a great Monday everyone!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 200
Things seem on the up-and-up with this June crowd....good going all.
Me....feh...the low points seem lower and more drawn out than "last time." Caffiene and cardiovascular activity seem to be keeping me afloat today, as the fatigue and depression are unbelievably intense at times.
Wow, 53 days sober, then a 2 day horrendous binge (two fifths in two days) and now day 5 feels as if that good streak never happened. kindling??
one day at a time.....
Me....feh...the low points seem lower and more drawn out than "last time." Caffiene and cardiovascular activity seem to be keeping me afloat today, as the fatigue and depression are unbelievably intense at times.
Wow, 53 days sober, then a 2 day horrendous binge (two fifths in two days) and now day 5 feels as if that good streak never happened. kindling??
one day at a time.....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: BoulderCo
Posts: 111
Welcome bratnik, Northrop and scared1
I am bored out of my mind. I'm taking my first semester off in 3 years and all this free time is driving me insane. Basically all I have to keep myself occupied is TV, reading and thinking about not using. Not a good situation. I'm looking for a job right now but unfortunately all of my experience is in bars and liquor stores and massage. None of which I need to be doing right now. I applied at Ihop so hopefully the cocktail waitress experience might count for something.
I am bored out of my mind. I'm taking my first semester off in 3 years and all this free time is driving me insane. Basically all I have to keep myself occupied is TV, reading and thinking about not using. Not a good situation. I'm looking for a job right now but unfortunately all of my experience is in bars and liquor stores and massage. None of which I need to be doing right now. I applied at Ihop so hopefully the cocktail waitress experience might count for something.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Thanks everyone. Hey CherryD - I know how you feel. I lost my job 2 years ago and it's very scary with that free time. And the worst thing is, people would tell me "go and take a walk" or "go to Starbucks" and I would say, "yeah yeah yeah" and do nothing because I didn't feel like it.
Seriously, it does help to get out of the house, as hard as it may be. 2 years later, i have just started doing it! Your house/apt can become a prison if you let it. I passed the hump finally and got myself to get out every day, but mind you, I'm only 9 days in!!! Hope this helps.
Seriously, it does help to get out of the house, as hard as it may be. 2 years later, i have just started doing it! Your house/apt can become a prison if you let it. I passed the hump finally and got myself to get out every day, but mind you, I'm only 9 days in!!! Hope this helps.
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