Aurora80

I'm new to AA, so I'm not even sure if it will work for me or not. But I know it's worked for many people. I know there are people who recovered without AA. I also know there are people for whom AA is the only thing that works. So I guess whatever works works!

Supercrew, it's ok that you don't agree with all AA principals... that you don't agree with the statement that an alcoholic cannot get better by willpower. That's fine. But you also have to realize that for some other people, those principals are the truths that led them to sobriety and it's ok to share that. People can take it or leave it.

I hope AA works for me. I do know that for me personally, willpower is not enough. If I could just quit because I wanted to, I wouldn't need ANY program, much less AA.

Supercrew

Thanks for the post Aurora..

As far as this:

"I hope AA works for me. I do know that for me personally, willpower is not enough. If I could just quit because I wanted to, I wouldn't need ANY program, much less AA. "

If willpower was just as easy as you stated above I would agree, but I think anyway you accomplish it for an alcoholic it is one of the hardest tasks they will ever be faced with.

If it were as easy as just quitting because you wanted to there would be no alcoholics, but I think the misperception that most people don't get is even if some people may be saying they want to quit, the reality is on some subconscious level they really don't want to give it up.

This is where recovery programs come into play, to finally get you to want to quit on the subconscious level.

SSIL75

^ this is completely true for me! I often say here that when I shifted my focus from "I really want to stop drinking so much" to "I really want to live a sober life", everything changed.

coop1

Bottom line is this...there are many roads that lead to the same destination. Whatever road you choose to take...I hope you reach your destination.

Kjell

I'm an AA'er and I understand there are many ways to get and stay sober.

I respect those other ways, but often times there is no "clear cut" direction. I hear a lot of "don't drink, do what it takes, or love yourself, or forgive yourself", but how does one actually do that? Where is the direction and action to actually recover?

AA does not own sobriety nor does "it" claim to, but it does provide clear cut directions and actions to recover. That is a fact.

I believe I'm in serious danger when I'm spending more time criticizing another's opinion or program than I do sharing my exerpience, strength, and hope. I've done this before and I never feel good about it once I realize what I've done.

We are stronger together then we are apart.

Let's remember that we are here to stay sober and share our path with others. Let's put our egos and agendas aside and help each other (and have some fun).

Kjell

ru12

"I hear a lot of "don't drink, do what it takes, or love yourself, or forgive yourself", but how does one actually do that? "

Well here is a start . . . don't put anything that contains ethanol C2H5OH into you mouth and swallow. Ever. That is how I actually did it. I stopped drinking.

Kjell

Thanks Ru12.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. I think that's great that you were able to just, well, stop. ...but that wouldn't have been enough for me. I needed more direction on how to quit and stay sober. Then once I got sober, I needed, then later wanted a new way of life. I needed, then wanted a design for living without alcohol.

Kjell

1_day@_a_time

THAT would be me!

This has been a real eye opener for me, a glaring light if you will, to step back and realize I am hurting myself (and others) as well as my recovery when I engage.

ru12

Kjell,

You asked how to just stop and I told you. Don't drink ethanol. Ever. It is a really simple program. Just one Step. Notice I didn't say it was easy. But here it goes:

Step 1 of 1. Don't ever put ethanol in your mouth and swallow.

Now if you want an entire different life, well that is out of my league. My problem was drinking. Now I don't drink. No, my life isn't perfect, but I don't have alcohol related problems anymore. My problem wasn't/isn't my spirituality, my problems was a compulsive maladaptive behavior disfunction. . . or I drank too d@mn much too often. Now I don't.

Kjell

Thanks Ru12. You've proven my point exactly and I commend you for stopping by simply stopping.

What's great here is you're not trying to share an experience you haven't had and that's another great reminder to us all.

We can't give away what we don't have.

Kjell

1_day@_a_time

congrats on 3 months of sobriety! : D

recycle

This thread is a little toxic. Yes, there are many ways to get and remain sober. As someone who has figured out everything there is to know about alcoholism more than once, newcomers might want to look to people that have more than a few months sober for declarative statements of how alcoholism rolls. Caveat Emptor

Supercrew

This is where I feel I might differ slightly. When I was still unsure in my recovery I was looking for as many answers as possible, and looking for as much information about my specific problem that I could find.

Now that I feel pretty secure where I am in my recovery efforts I am looking to help others find a solution to their issues. I have nothing against any program that helps another person find their solution.

My intitial post wasn't to critique a specific program, but to let anyone reading know that just because they might get a vibe or a perception from someone using a specific recovery method who is posting in this forum, don't let it disuade them from trying the program first hand.

My mistake was not knowing that in the fundamental AA teaching from the BB it includes using some of the principles that I disagree with to be used when describing AA to new members. So by me questioning the message to newcomers, I was infact questioning the AA program and its principles.

I sincerely apologize though because when I started the thread it wasn't meant to question any progam, but at the time I didn't realize that the strong message itself is and integral part of the program for some of its members.

My mistake. I will try to do more research before I post again regarding any aspect of anyone elses program and try to get a better understanding to begin with. I should have been aware that spreading the word might be just as important as the word itself, and it has given me a better understanding of how divisive some of my previous posts may have come across to someone who happens to practice AA a certain way.

Thank you again for all of the replies, I learned alot.

ItWillBeWorthIt

I think everyone's recovery is different... AA is a wonderful program for those that do and feel comfortable with it... it does work

My program is:

It is to connect with SR
Simplify and de-stress my life - VERY huge
Understand triggers and find ways to intervene.
Talk to my family when I need to
Go to bed early if needed
Hot bath
Finding and recording gratitude
Finding ways to reduce anxiety
Finding out why I relapsed after 7 years... yeah, goes back to simplifying my life.

ru12

"congrats on 3 months of sobriety! : D"


Judging from the tenor of your posts . . . I certainly DON'T want what you have. I happy being sober and in the way I got there.

1_day@_a_time

I have been quite clear I made numerous mistakes recently.

It was a wake up call & a time to reflect and pull back.

I apologized to all, and a few in PM's.

Thx for the love......oh and softening that up

Dee74

Both Anna and I have commented on this thread once each.

This is last call, guys...

Please post about YOUR program and method of recovery, without pointing fingers or criticizing anyone else's program.

Keep any and all personal comments to PMs.

D

FrothyJay

The process outlined in the Big Book saved my ass, so I may refer to it from time to time.

The program of AA (from the Big Book) is based on the idea that willpower fails us in the matter of alcoholism. In fact, the steps are designed not to help us stop drinking (we can't), but to remove the obstacles to a power greater than ourselves that can solve our problem.

What seems to be misunderstood here is that in AA, willpower is not just a solution that didn't work, it's the problem. It deludes me, tells me I'm weak, and seduces me into an early grave after it drags me through life. So part of the message in AA is dispelling the notion that trying harder can solve your problem. This is the essence of powerlessness, and the 1st step.

This is AA, and it's not mandatory.

spryte

Great thread!

I go to AA, hang our here on SR, use yoga (asanas, meditation, and chanting and satsang) for the spiritual part of things (slooow progress, but progress all the same), CBT and SMART recovery for anxiety and mental obsession, and for lack of a better descriptor - oprah-type things for lifestyle balance (work, social, creative etc). I don't even like Oprah, but you get the picture re advice for work - life balance advice that's out there.

The last piece that's missing is journalling which I'm not doing; I don't know why, but I strongly feel that it is essential for me.

FrothyJay

Finally, something we can all agree on.