Help, Xanex is ruining my life
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,460
You scheduled an appointment, but you dunno when it is arjck? Did your mom make it for you?
Whatever is happening, I hope you do let your parents in on everything you've shared here - and I hope you let your doctors in on all of this too.
D
Whatever is happening, I hope you do let your parents in on everything you've shared here - and I hope you let your doctors in on all of this too.
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: STROUD, OK
Posts: 158
I really do hope that what I say is taken to be mean spirited here because I truly do not mean it to be. Rather it is born out somethings that seem to me to be quite obvious. Also it is frustrating and reading this thread creates such an awareness of our complete powerlessness.
I am wondering if most of what the poster says seem to be horrible inconsistent to anyone else? I have to be frank I find most replies to our inquirires to be general at best. When we do inquire for specifics we are given inconsistencies. I notice this in almost every post. I don't know why this should surprise as I did the very same things..probably worse ones.
To Arjck I want to say that I care about what you are going through and I think I feel alittle frustrated that nobody here can seem to get you to make that first step. I am a little frightened for you. I did the xanax as well and I know how they can mess with your head. Throw in a little clinical depression in there and look out. it is a very dangerous place that you are deciding to inhabit right now. I do not think that in your current state of mind that you can completly understand how very easy it would be to cross the line and make some stupid move and end up hurting yourself while you are under the influence. You should take it very seriously it really is quite common. You are the only one that can take the steps and being underage it seems that your parents are going to have to be told at some point regardless of how you start this. And you need to start it .. the alternative is death. Its the natural end result of our disease/addiction... we stop or die. Your young, and on Xanax you aren't thinking correctly, tell someone who is to help you. I say this with no malice towards you whatsoever but I read your posts and the only thing I believe in them is when you say you are hooked on xanax and depressed.
I really worried about you and I guess this post is a result of my feeling pretty frustrated and it is no attack on you. ANd I do not mean to chastise you rather I want to encourage you to take the first steps. You may find that the dread of making the first few is actually much worse than actually taking them.
I am a little mad at this disease I guess, I had a friend who spoke to me as you speak in your posts and he took valium... lots.. and when he was high oh there was never any solution to his problems... oh he couldnt do the right thing because of blah blah blah.. or no he couldnt do the other because etc etc etc. I would give him suggestions and he would give contradictory answers and reason why it didn't work. Well I lost my friend ERNIE WAYLAND. HIs good thinking was completly being incapacitated by this drug. he blew his head off with a very high powered rifle in front of his father after going into a depressed state during a bing on valium. He felt great great pressure to be perfect because his father and family occupied a place of social standing in our town. He felt he let them down...He hid all to much from his family he just couldnt tell them.... he stuffed so much he shot himself. this has happened to three of my friends. You can see that it isn't something that just happens here or there and you are in a very dangerous place.
I wont say tell your doctor, or your parents, or your counsellor... I say tell them all.. you'll get no better until you tell someone and seek the help you need.
I pray for you Arjck, and I do wish that much strength will find you and fill you....and that you get the help you need. Way too many of us die from this. DOn't ride the fence anymore. Theres absolutly nothing that any of us can do for you except encourage and support you... I know I do
Chris
Learn from People like Ernie, my friend Becky and my other friend Jamie .. every single one of these people took their own lives as a result of depression and addiction. They all killed themselves under the influence. They did not seek help for whatever reasons. The reasons they didn't do not matter.
I am wondering if most of what the poster says seem to be horrible inconsistent to anyone else? I have to be frank I find most replies to our inquirires to be general at best. When we do inquire for specifics we are given inconsistencies. I notice this in almost every post. I don't know why this should surprise as I did the very same things..probably worse ones.
To Arjck I want to say that I care about what you are going through and I think I feel alittle frustrated that nobody here can seem to get you to make that first step. I am a little frightened for you. I did the xanax as well and I know how they can mess with your head. Throw in a little clinical depression in there and look out. it is a very dangerous place that you are deciding to inhabit right now. I do not think that in your current state of mind that you can completly understand how very easy it would be to cross the line and make some stupid move and end up hurting yourself while you are under the influence. You should take it very seriously it really is quite common. You are the only one that can take the steps and being underage it seems that your parents are going to have to be told at some point regardless of how you start this. And you need to start it .. the alternative is death. Its the natural end result of our disease/addiction... we stop or die. Your young, and on Xanax you aren't thinking correctly, tell someone who is to help you. I say this with no malice towards you whatsoever but I read your posts and the only thing I believe in them is when you say you are hooked on xanax and depressed.
I really worried about you and I guess this post is a result of my feeling pretty frustrated and it is no attack on you. ANd I do not mean to chastise you rather I want to encourage you to take the first steps. You may find that the dread of making the first few is actually much worse than actually taking them.
I am a little mad at this disease I guess, I had a friend who spoke to me as you speak in your posts and he took valium... lots.. and when he was high oh there was never any solution to his problems... oh he couldnt do the right thing because of blah blah blah.. or no he couldnt do the other because etc etc etc. I would give him suggestions and he would give contradictory answers and reason why it didn't work. Well I lost my friend ERNIE WAYLAND. HIs good thinking was completly being incapacitated by this drug. he blew his head off with a very high powered rifle in front of his father after going into a depressed state during a bing on valium. He felt great great pressure to be perfect because his father and family occupied a place of social standing in our town. He felt he let them down...He hid all to much from his family he just couldnt tell them.... he stuffed so much he shot himself. this has happened to three of my friends. You can see that it isn't something that just happens here or there and you are in a very dangerous place.
I wont say tell your doctor, or your parents, or your counsellor... I say tell them all.. you'll get no better until you tell someone and seek the help you need.
I pray for you Arjck, and I do wish that much strength will find you and fill you....and that you get the help you need. Way too many of us die from this. DOn't ride the fence anymore. Theres absolutly nothing that any of us can do for you except encourage and support you... I know I do
Chris
Learn from People like Ernie, my friend Becky and my other friend Jamie .. every single one of these people took their own lives as a result of depression and addiction. They all killed themselves under the influence. They did not seek help for whatever reasons. The reasons they didn't do not matter.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 78
Well, i know this sounds very immature of me, but i don't fully know how to respond to that comment. but i would like to have you know i read it and understand all of it, and i would like to thank you. you said some very wise words, and i want you to know i have taken them all to heart (in a good way) i have decided, i will tell my therapist, and then invite my parents in, and we (my therapist and i) will tell them (my parents) together.so thank you for all the support and kindness. it really means a lot to me. I am very sorry about your friends, they must have been amazing people, and i know they will forever be in our heart.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
HI, I was prescribed xanax....at the end I was prescribed 6 a day way too many.
I had been prescribed xanax for many years.
First I want to tell you that xanax causes depression. Taking them in the amounts you are taking doesn't mean you need a new or different antidepressant, it means you are experiencing one of the primary side effects of xanax and it is dangerous.
You are having blackouts. You could actually act on a suicidal impulse when you are not in your right mind and not even know what you are doing.
I have had that experience once, thankfully some part of me called 911.
I woke up with a respirator tube down my throat (it wasn't xanax I took, but similar enough). I just wanted to get some sleep and woke up in ICU.
You CANNOT go cold turkey off Xanax. That pain and falling down was just the beginning. It gets worse and it stays worse and bad for a long time. It has to be strictly monitored and tapered. There is no other way.
Not only are seizures a risk, but your grasp of reality will become very weird and surreal, you will be very, very sick in so many ways...I don't even like to think about it.
Sometimes my Drs will still suggest that I take a different kind of benzo but related to xanax. my answer to that is hell no!
This is not going to get better. It is going to get way worse.
Sooner or later you will have to get help. Sooner is easier.
I did it on my own several times. Bad news and I would always wind up back on them at some point.
It takes time to taper and get your system clean. I always rushed it.
Without it in my system, I don't ever want that mess in me again.
That is my experience, in part.
This is one of the wickedest drugs. You can't just pop them like pez candies to stop the withdraws. I see you keep taking more when you do that.
This particular chemical is running you.....it has the tendency to do that and always should be carefully monitored when prescribed.
I hope you get professional help ASAP, that is the only successful way to health with that one.
hugs!
I had been prescribed xanax for many years.
First I want to tell you that xanax causes depression. Taking them in the amounts you are taking doesn't mean you need a new or different antidepressant, it means you are experiencing one of the primary side effects of xanax and it is dangerous.
You are having blackouts. You could actually act on a suicidal impulse when you are not in your right mind and not even know what you are doing.
I have had that experience once, thankfully some part of me called 911.
I woke up with a respirator tube down my throat (it wasn't xanax I took, but similar enough). I just wanted to get some sleep and woke up in ICU.
You CANNOT go cold turkey off Xanax. That pain and falling down was just the beginning. It gets worse and it stays worse and bad for a long time. It has to be strictly monitored and tapered. There is no other way.
Not only are seizures a risk, but your grasp of reality will become very weird and surreal, you will be very, very sick in so many ways...I don't even like to think about it.
Sometimes my Drs will still suggest that I take a different kind of benzo but related to xanax. my answer to that is hell no!
This is not going to get better. It is going to get way worse.
Sooner or later you will have to get help. Sooner is easier.
I did it on my own several times. Bad news and I would always wind up back on them at some point.
It takes time to taper and get your system clean. I always rushed it.
Without it in my system, I don't ever want that mess in me again.
That is my experience, in part.
This is one of the wickedest drugs. You can't just pop them like pez candies to stop the withdraws. I see you keep taking more when you do that.
This particular chemical is running you.....it has the tendency to do that and always should be carefully monitored when prescribed.
I hope you get professional help ASAP, that is the only successful way to health with that one.
hugs!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
In the mean time can you lock up your supply of pills except what you are prescribed or the minimum needed and ALSO any means you might use to harm yourself??? Also the pain pills, that is a deadly combo.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 81
Hi I am swag and new to this forum-BUT- I too have been on the zanax roller coaster of hell. I tapered off with what little I had left, and when it ran out , I thought I was going to die. My doctor would not help as I owed him money ,I know what you are experiencing and I know a properly supervised long term taper is the right way to do it. Unfortunately I was not able to do that and ended up hooked on clonazapam another benzo- for years! Please dont do as I done ,listen to the advice from the post replys above. Benzos are a nightmare my doc is an idiot and I just turned 50 , dont end up like me...please! swag
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,460
The sooner you reach out and open up about it arjck - the sooner you can start to get on with your life.
You need to do it sometime - do it now when you can, not later when it may all come out anyway.
D
You need to do it sometime - do it now when you can, not later when it may all come out anyway.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by Live 
take some deep breaths, hug a stuffed animal and think how wonderful it will be to be free of this addiction, these secrets and fear!
hugs
hugs
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