hippychicky

I noticed it's been almost a year since my last post. STILL fighting this demon named alcohol. If anyone remembers me and has any words of advice/wisdom...PLEASE let me know. I REALLY need the help. I'm still of the mindset that I want to "control" not completely stop. Will someone please set me straight?(no pun intended)

Anna

Hi and Welcome back,

I think you need to change your mindset. I spent a long time trying to control my drinking and things worsened during that time. I had to stop completely and know that I wasn't going back.

It's hard to stop drinking and to stay sober and it takes lots of motivation.

I'm glad you're back!

redwine

I googled "brain scan damage alcohol".

I've tried controlling -- but here is the thing: I don't want too. I'd rather have 4 glasses of wine than one. So in order of preference for a nice evening, it is:

4 glasses of wine
NO glasses of wine
1 glass of wine (& pointless effort to control and not take more).

4 glasses of wine = brain damage = hang over = bad sleep.
So, that's ruled out.

Now, what are m preferences?

1: NO glasses of wine
2: One glass of wine.

Huh, so I'd rather not have the glass of wine. Wow. Ok then.

coffeenut

Glad you came back.....but as you know, only YOU can set you straight. Are you ready?

least

I too found it impossible to 'control' my drinking. I always drank the whole bottle and then felt horrible the next couple days. Glad I'm sober now. It takes some effort to stay sober but waking up feeling good (not hungover and sick) is so worth the effort.

Have you considered asking your doctor for help in quitting drinking? Medical help can make your detox safer and more comfortable. I wish you the best in getting and staying sober.:ghug3

Dee74

I remember you - welcome back

I think the thought we can control it is the great delusion for any alcoholic - I know I tried for 20 years.

Don't waste 20 years - however long it's been for you so far is long enough HC.

Accepting I had to let go, and jump into an uncertain future without booze, was scary as hell and very difficult - but it really was the best decision I ever made....and I had a lot of support here doing it

I hope you decide to leap sooner than later

D

hippychicky

What kind of medical help can my doctor give me? I didn't know my doc could give me any help other than refering me to AA, which I don't want to go to.

Dee74

Why not ask your Doctor what he or she can do HC - noone outside of a court can force you to AA, if thats not your wish.

I have no personal experience to offer, but many people have found help from their doctor - especially from a consultation before the detox process.

D

suki44883

A doctor can prescribe Campral or Revia (naltrexone), which can help significantly with withdrawal and cravings. If you are still drinking, it is always best to check with your doctor before attempting to detox on your own. Alcohol detox can be deadly. Please, make the decision to stop messing around with controlled drinking and give yourself the gift of sobriety.

Hevyn

Hippy, I remember you very well. I'm so glad you're back. I don't know for sure what to advise, since it took me many years to finally get it right and stop trying to moderate. I thought using willpower could make me into a social drinker, and almost killed myself trying to manage it.

I finally had enough of the insanity and uncertainty my drinking life was causing. For the first time in my life, I was losing the respect of people I truly cared about. I could see them slowly writing me off. That hurt my pride so much - plus, having health issues and DUI's - it had to end. I hope you've had enough, and will find comfort and support here with us once again.

flutter

I remember you, welcome back! Not sure that I have any advice.. you'll have to come to a decision about sobriety (or not) on your own, but I think you know that!

Glad you're here again!

pw773

Hey, well I understand the risk in not yielding control all too well... just relapsed this weekend. I don't know how to surrender.. but if you figure it out, let me know

C2H5OH_Free

Be a quitter, for once.

My biggest obstacle was pride. How can I possibly be defective? I can control anything. Right.

hippychicky

I thank all of you for your advice. Special thanks to those who remember me... it feels good to know you are there. Well, I had my last "hurrah" yesterday to celebrate my dad's birthday with half dozen Margaritas. I feel like total crap today, but meeting my trainer at the gym anyways. I'm really needing support now in these first few days (& weeks)... THANK YOU all.

NEOMARXIST

"Theres last hits and then theres last hits" Or something like that from Trainspotting. ie- Theres always another last 'hurrah' unless you totally admit defeat and surrender to king alcohol.

Hevyn

The thing is, for me there weren't any "hurrahs" left. I had to be honest and admit that it was no longer fun or exciting or anything positive. It only led to hell. Took me many years to finally get that, though! You can do it, hippy. Let's go!

Horselover

I'm there with Hevyn. The positive aspect of drinking left my life long, long before I was actually able to say goodbye to it. It almost took my son and husband away. I was an inch away from losing the 2 most important people in my life. To me that made alcohol enemy #1.

Good luck and you most certainly can give it up HC! I remember you here from before. Turn to SR when the feeling strikes and if SR isn't enough and its too easy to turn off the computer and pour the drink then I would look into finding something face to face. Maybe you need real live voices to help you stay accountable. Just a thought. Whatever you decide you are in my prayers. xxx