keithj

The two are completely independent. AA has no affiliation with treatment centers, although there can some cooperation in certain cases.

If you are serious about beating alcohol, and find you can not do it on your own, call up your local AA hotline or go to a meeting and state that you would like someone to show you have to have a spiritual awakening as the result of the 12 Steps. That phrasing will generally limit the interest to those that are fairly serious about the solution in AA.

In some cases, the person may require some medically supervised detox to become physically separated from booze before they can have any success with the Steps. That's where short term detox or 28 day rehab comes in.

In many other cases, a person can white knuckle through the physical withdrawl and begin the Steps without a formal detox. This can be life threatening, depending on how long and how much you have been drinking.

fakesmiles

Thank you so much for continuing to respond. I made it through day 5. It has been a difficult weekend though as my husband and I had a huge blowup argument and he blurted/yelled at me to "Why don't you just go have another drink!" rather than argue with me about the issue. I HADN'T EVEN BEEN DRINKING!!! Idiot. I sure WANTED to after THAT though! However, I took many deep breaths and I made it through. We are now hardly talking. We can't talk about issues we have and it's killing me inside. Outside, I am continuing not to feel, even though I am not drinking. Is that good or bad? I don't know. Maybe I have been over this marriage a long time ago.

If I call AA, won't people from my town/city be there? I really don't want to have others in my community know I am dealing with this. How do I go about going through the steps anonomously?

Fakesmiles :-)

WashCapsFan

Fakesmiles, I wish you the best in your battle with alcohol and the same with your marriage. Find support for each wherever you can. I'm presently re-reading The DNA of Relationships by Dr. Gary Smalley and it has been a tremendous help to me (and my wife) in how we deal with conflict. The principles taught in the book help people take control over their life regardless of what their spouse may or may not do. I've never been big on self-help books, but this one had an incredible impact on me. I'm hardly at a point in my life to dispense advice to anyone about anything, but the author is on to something. Good luck to you.

keithj

Yes, most likely people from your town will be at local meeting because they are alcoholics or at least have a real problem with drinking. They will be there because they have found it necessary or useful in staying sober. One or more of them has been where you are and knows how to get and stay sober by taking the 12 Steps. Some of them may become your closest friends.

Yes, you could probably do the Steps in some fashion anonymously. It's not recommended, but probably possible. But the Steps require the self-searching, leveling of our pride, and confession of shortcomings that almost none of us likes. It requires honesty and truth.

How do you propose to level pride when you can't be honest or truthful about your problem?

I got sober when I became willing to go to any lengths to do so. Not a second before that. Pride in thinking I could hide or somehow manage my problem myself kept me drunk for many years.

DonaldS

You don't think anyone knows, Fake? You don't think your husband has good reason to be pissed? We alcoholics run rampant through life, using everything and anyone we touch for our own selfish, self-centered desires. Our lives are unmanageable and--apart from Divine help--we are doomed. Run, don't walk, to the nearest AA meeting and admit who you are to someone, before it kills you. Get on the road to recovery and off the road to misery and despair.

RacerX

I think this is a great quote from Keith, albeit a hard one to come to grips with for many, many people. That said, I'm 100% with Keith on this analysis.

I tried just over 4 years ago to get sober but I definitely was NOT willing to do anything/everything to get and stay sober. That lasted just short of a month before the booze train caught up to me again. It took 4 years of internal hell before I fully submitted to hitting rock bottom.

My sponsor told me that it's my choice regarding me being at rock bottom or just another ledge on the way down the abyss. Our actions show where we are. Someone at rock bottom will do anything to stay sober. Those on just another ledge will fight it tooth and nail.

I hope and pray that you'll put aside all of your worries regarding who will be at the meetings, any misgivings about what goes on at the meetings, etc, and simply go to one. What I think you'll find are a bunch of people like you (i.e. alcoholics) waiting with open arms to help and support you along your wonderful journey.

I wish you the very best and know that you've got a lot of other people here wishing you the same.

RacerX