Fakesmiles, I wish you the best in your battle with alcohol and the same with your marriage. Find support for each wherever you can. I'm presently re-reading The DNA of Relationships by Dr. Gary Smalley and it has been a tremendous help to me (and my wife) in how we deal with conflict. The principles taught in the book help people take control over their life regardless of what their spouse may or may not do. I've never been big on self-help books, but this one had an incredible impact on me. I'm hardly at a point in my life to dispense advice to anyone about anything, but the author is on to something. Good luck to you.