Withdrawal Anxiety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 26
Withdrawal Anxiety
I wasn't too worried about withdrawal this time around as I had "quit" twice in the last 4 months without any of the serious symptoms setting in. I have paid close attention to myself though, since I was on a pretty good binge the week before I quit. I've had problems sleeping every time, but that's par for the course for me, I've had problems insomnia since I was a kid. Hell, I had problems falling asleep in freakin basic training when I joined the army. 
Anyway, I was doing alright until I dumped my stash last night (day 3). While I had thought I was just too busy to take care of it, I'm thinking maybe I was secretly thinking those cans were my safety net. Not long after tossing the empties in the recycle, I began feeling... nervous? Free floating anxiety, maybe? Getting rid of them was a bit of a trigger, and aroused feelings I was not owning up to or simply ignoring, knowing that there was still a fair amount of alcohol in the house.
I stayed up a little late reading stories of success and hope here, and it brought me some calm and I went to bed. Wife said I tossed and turned quite a bit, tho. That's new. My typical alcohol soaked sleep rendered me a big immobile unresponsive lump on the bed.
I know I'm on the right track, and I'm not craving a drink, but... My mind keeps remembering there's no "stash" in the house and I get nervous again.
Anyway, I was doing alright until I dumped my stash last night (day 3). While I had thought I was just too busy to take care of it, I'm thinking maybe I was secretly thinking those cans were my safety net. Not long after tossing the empties in the recycle, I began feeling... nervous? Free floating anxiety, maybe? Getting rid of them was a bit of a trigger, and aroused feelings I was not owning up to or simply ignoring, knowing that there was still a fair amount of alcohol in the house.
I stayed up a little late reading stories of success and hope here, and it brought me some calm and I went to bed. Wife said I tossed and turned quite a bit, tho. That's new. My typical alcohol soaked sleep rendered me a big immobile unresponsive lump on the bed.
I know I'm on the right track, and I'm not craving a drink, but... My mind keeps remembering there's no "stash" in the house and I get nervous again.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
I'm glad you're doing well!
I think that what happens is, once the addict-mind recognizes that you are truly serious about not drinking, it goes into overdrive. It's not going to go down without a fight. But, you can get through it.
I think that what happens is, once the addict-mind recognizes that you are truly serious about not drinking, it goes into overdrive. It's not going to go down without a fight. But, you can get through it.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Anxiety seems to be a common occurence after giving up drinking. If it doesn't go away, or gets worse, please see your doctor or a counselor. But yes, I think anxiety is common after getting sober. Exercise also helps your sleep and helps 'work off' anxiety. Chamomile tea can help calm you too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 26
Actually, in my previous "attempts" I made sure to run out beforehand.
While I'm still addicted to nicotine, I did have years of successfully being quit. What finally worked for me way back when was quitting halfway through a pack. Every time I tried to quit "when I ran out" was an utter failure - but, smashing a nearly full pack into the ground was an act of victory and dominance over the addiction that made me feel like I was winning from the first minute. Going to war was kind of tough, so I eventually succumbed to nicotine again (after a LONG time quite), and have been off/on for a few years. I'm going to beat that again in due time.
Anyway, I hoped to have that same victorious feeling last night... but I could almost hear a voice yelling in my ear that I shouldn't pour those out.... It even crossed my mind to just go put them in the fridge (I didn't even bother refrigerate my last case, ugh). In the end I won out, but I've been feeling nervous and anxious off and on ever since.
Reading SR helps.
While I'm still addicted to nicotine, I did have years of successfully being quit. What finally worked for me way back when was quitting halfway through a pack. Every time I tried to quit "when I ran out" was an utter failure - but, smashing a nearly full pack into the ground was an act of victory and dominance over the addiction that made me feel like I was winning from the first minute. Going to war was kind of tough, so I eventually succumbed to nicotine again (after a LONG time quite), and have been off/on for a few years. I'm going to beat that again in due time.
Anyway, I hoped to have that same victorious feeling last night... but I could almost hear a voice yelling in my ear that I shouldn't pour those out.... It even crossed my mind to just go put them in the fridge (I didn't even bother refrigerate my last case, ugh). In the end I won out, but I've been feeling nervous and anxious off and on ever since.
Reading SR helps.
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by Anna 
I think that what happens is, once the addict-mind recognizes that you are truly serious about not drinking, it goes into overdrive. It's not going to go down without a fight. But, you can get through it.
Hi Jay,
Anna says it well here. Your mind is starting to get really worried as it is addicted to alcohol and you have cut of its supply.
Alcohol is "cunning, baffling and powerful". You do not need to act on those thoughts that it is putting in your mind.
It was said to me the other day that thoughts are like a train which pulls into a station and the doors open. You can either choose to get on the train or let the doors close and the train pull out of the station without you. You know where the train is heading anyway.
Most alcoholics need a program of recovery to help them recover from this illness. The powerful obsession of the mind is usually too much for will-power alone to handle.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
When your mind is racing, just remember alcohol always winds up in the sewer, you just saved yourself a step and are healthier because of it.
The anxiety you feel is normal, you are letting go of a crutch and trying to climb what you perceive to be a mountain. Take small steps, and keep climbing. The best piece of advice I received from this site is "all you have to do is avoid the first drink". Concentrate on that, keep yourself busy, and it should all fall into place.
Keep coming back for support, you will find a lot of it here either directly or indirectly.
Stay strong, and keep with it! You can do it!
The anxiety you feel is normal, you are letting go of a crutch and trying to climb what you perceive to be a mountain. Take small steps, and keep climbing. The best piece of advice I received from this site is "all you have to do is avoid the first drink". Concentrate on that, keep yourself busy, and it should all fall into place.
Keep coming back for support, you will find a lot of it here either directly or indirectly.
Stay strong, and keep with it! You can do it!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Thanks Jay.....
Anxiety was not part of my de tox ..so I don't have
any experience to share on it.
After the initial 3 days....I felt like I was
floating clueless with no direction.
If that was anxiety I never thought it to be
I considered it to be my brain de saturating....
Anyway......
That's when I got serious about my recovery.
As always....all my best as you continue to move forward.
Anxiety was not part of my de tox ..so I don't have
any experience to share on it.
After the initial 3 days....I felt like I was
floating clueless with no direction.
If that was anxiety I never thought it to be
I considered it to be my brain de saturating....
Anyway......
That's when I got serious about my recovery.
As always....all my best as you continue to move forward.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Jay, I will watch for when you quite nicotine too, I might learn from it. (I need to quit that too!) I related to you in a few ways: the fear over getting rid of the stash and the debate in the head over when the optimum time is. And the insomnia, which I am dealing with again (hate it!!!!!!!!!).
I still have no clue how I stopped drinking and how I dealt with the "debate" and the timing thing (getting rid of the stash, etc). I can tell you that as I was getting rid of the recyclables, it was a great feat (disgusted with myself, and kept telling myself I was getting my life back bit by bit). And that I was even able to get rid of the empties and take my little refunds without replenishing on two occasions. There was a sort of sense of prowess in doing that, ha ha. It was a quiet one, all to myself, but hey, good for me.
I respect what you are talking about, and I also respect you for your military service! Thanks.
I still have no clue how I stopped drinking and how I dealt with the "debate" and the timing thing (getting rid of the stash, etc). I can tell you that as I was getting rid of the recyclables, it was a great feat (disgusted with myself, and kept telling myself I was getting my life back bit by bit). And that I was even able to get rid of the empties and take my little refunds without replenishing on two occasions. There was a sort of sense of prowess in doing that, ha ha. It was a quiet one, all to myself, but hey, good for me.
I respect what you are talking about, and I also respect you for your military service! Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Jay, I forgot to mention also that I think this has to do with our belief that the substance is the Friend - that awful fear of "it" running out. I think it's all connected. Sounds obvious and obtuse to say it, but I guess we have to hang on to the idea that we already grasped, that it isn't our friend and we're going to withstand.
Thanks
Thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 26
Thanks for all the encouragement and advice.
I'm feeling a bit better now. I really really needed to get to the gym to release some tension, but it closed early yesterday and I couldn't make it til this evening. Now my head is much clearer.
In my last few attempts to quit, I don't think I made a very honest commitment to myself to do it. I kept old habits, and you can guess what happened. Despite making it 7-10 days before, I hadn't really changed anything. This time, I'm recognizing what knocks me off the wagon and altering course... thus the anxiety, since I'm taking away my crutch. My really big crutch.
I'm feeling a bit better now. I really really needed to get to the gym to release some tension, but it closed early yesterday and I couldn't make it til this evening. Now my head is much clearer.
In my last few attempts to quit, I don't think I made a very honest commitment to myself to do it. I kept old habits, and you can guess what happened. Despite making it 7-10 days before, I hadn't really changed anything. This time, I'm recognizing what knocks me off the wagon and altering course... thus the anxiety, since I'm taking away my crutch. My really big crutch.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Raleigh NC
Posts: 100
You might not sleep well for a few weeks or even 1-2 months but after a while you will sleep like a baby. If you like to exercise that might help with the anxiety. Even a walk around the block. Meanwhile, try to stay away from too much caffeine, sugar and etc the first few days. Now, if you need those things not to drink, then use them and worry about sleep later. Staying sober is priority 1
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
