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can u go it alone?

Old 11-18-2009, 03:55 PM
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can u go it alone?

Is it possible to quit on ur own?

I have a drink and drug counsellor, started seeing one last wk, the other few weeks ago..

but what about in "real time"....can u quit without daily support, without somone to turn too when u need a fix, when u need a drink, oe just someone to talk too...be it 5 mins after making a call, or 5 hours? (not saying every second of the day...!)

Just wondering...cause when I had someone there, it was easier to stop drinking, to stop using cause just knowing she was there if i needed help, and also her reminding me "your getting back to where u was" was like a reality check...now i live on my own, I am my own worse enemy. I used to only use when I wasn't working, yet now even at work I will take a few lines (won't explain as don't think thats right).

I was just wondering that's all...cause the only time i've got things under control is when I've known that there is someone there at the end of the line that i know, and that i wouldn't have to say anything to, but would know that I needed to hear a voice i knew, and a reality check....

sorry if that seems dumb, that's the person I am. sorry
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:11 PM
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Hey again

it's possible...some people here work better that way - but most seem to need face to face support tho.

Use SR when you can, TKK

D
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:14 PM
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I need human contact (oh yeah...internet counts). I don't have many friends now...but I hang around here a lot for support. I'm keeping my head up and I reach out for help when I need it.

As long as you have internet access, you know you can always come here for support.
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:19 PM
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I think I need face to face and I know that i'm probably seen as "lucky" cause I have 2 hours a week to talk to a counsellor if I need to (or can), but its times when you get this urge, this feeling, this craving, this everything is going wrong and only this can sort it...message in your head, you have a demon on ur shoulders saying ur only friend is the bottle, is a plastic "bomb", you feel so weak, so desperate, so need to escape and know that they right that it will help, but then u have this other thing, that says but only in short term....u want to stop, but as always the demon seems to win....before when I stopped, it helped to have someone either face to face or over the phone to help fight the demon......

I don't know how to fight the demon on my own.
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:33 PM
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When I hit my bottom, everyone seemed to turn on me, and I felt totally alone.

I stopped cold turkey 5 months back, and pretty much kept my problems a secret. I now use this site as maintenance.
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:36 PM
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I could quit on my own, but I couldn't stay that way without support. I use AA almost daily, and I'm here on SR as often as possible.
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:39 PM
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I am glad you're posting with your concern.

I come here to SR every day and for me, that seems to work.

I hope you find what works for you.
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:47 PM
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So I guess what i'm reading (sorry if this seems wrong), is that, in order to get "clean" in the first instance its will power, determination, reminders of the "gutter" but to stay clean its support in any form, be it internet, groups, one on one...I appreciate that everyone has their own way off dealing with getting clean, and then stayin clean..just for me it seems I need someone there not nagging, but being understanding that i'm struggling, and to help destract me whilst the urge passes..or when i'm in physical pain from the withdrawals, to remind me that (cause when ur there, u don't, its only now i've used and drank that i know tomorrow I will be back where I was monday) I will have to go thru the withdrawals again, that i will have to have that "first day" again....I don't know. maybe its just my weird head that can't make sense of "me", or "deal with me".
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Old 11-18-2009, 05:35 PM
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The answer to your question is, yes, it is possible to "do it alone". The bigger question is, "Is it easier to "do it alone" or to have as much support as possible to help you?" From your posts it sounds like you feel like you would be better off with the support of others. If that is the case, why would you try to "do it alone"? Why not utilize the support that is available out there to help you. This is not an easy thing either way, there is no point in making things harder than they have to be. Take care.
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Old 11-18-2009, 05:42 PM
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You can, as others have pointed out. As you have pointed out maybe you need more support. If that's the case then find a way to work it into your recovery be it AA, church, other groups, family or friends.I find that SR works for me but everyone is different.
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Old 11-18-2009, 05:52 PM
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I quit on my own,.............when I was faced with losing alot more than I had already (ALOT)

I have 181 days today.
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Old 11-18-2009, 05:53 PM
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Old 11-18-2009, 06:12 PM
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Well I have quit on my own and am doing it on my own again...with support from here, although my family does know about my problem, how supportive they are is another thing LOL....my mom understands a bit but definitely not the rest...am already lookin forward to thanksgivin with my sis' hard drinking Italian inlaws....it helps to have trusted people who know and I think AA is a great resource for that
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Old 11-18-2009, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by thiskidknows View Post
Is it possible to quit on ur own?
I know if it possible for me to quit on my own I would stumbled on it at least once in the 5,000 times I tried & failed.
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:11 PM
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I would say support is necessary for me. I need to be accountable to something/someone external to myself. Whatever the something/someone is, that is up to you: God, sponsor, friends in sobriety, preferably a combination. Generally, I think romantic relationships and family are too close to us to give us the kind of objective support we need, at least in my experience. The first step is not admitting you have a problem; the first step is asking for help, and you are well on your way. Good luck.
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:11 PM
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Yes, it's possible to quit on your own. I quit for over 5 years on my own (although I guess you could argue that I didn't truly quit since I feel of the wagon this summer, but that's another story. But still, 5 years on my own is still a significant length of time). There are many alternative recovery methods, AA works for many people and is the most well known, but it is certainly not the only method (I've found SMART useful). You can google effective alcohol treatment methods and spend hours reading, there are also many good books on the subject as well.

One of the things I found interesting in my reading is that cigarettes are usually considered much more addictive than alcohol, yet there is no 12 step program called "cigarettes anonymous." Many people who manage to quit smoking, do it on their own (and it may take them many attempts). I don't smoke, so I don't have first hand experience here, but I've seen people trying to quit. It's seems very tough, but eventually many people I know have quit on their own.

It's interesting that smokers, like alcoholics, may have to give up some friends. Think about how often you've seen groups of people standing outside an office building smoking. A group of smokers might include everyone from the CEO to the janitor standing around smoking and talking, it doesn't matter who you are, if you smoke you are part of the group. When someone quits smoking, they give up hanging with a certain group of "friends" (who only had smoking in common) much like an alcoholic will lose his drinking "friends."
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Zebra1275 View Post

One of the things I found interesting in my reading is that cigarettes are usually considered much more addictive than alcohol...
I would say that for me cigarettes were much harder to quit, at least for the first 30 days. The thing that made it possible to quit on my own was the fact that it got easier each day.

With alcohol the opposite was true. It got harder for me every day. That is why I needed help.
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:32 PM
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I understand that some people have managed to quit on their own.

I just wasn't one of them.

I could stop , sometimes for years,
but when I drank again
it was always more than before.
That part of teh stereotypical alcoholic
fits me, unfortunately.
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Old 11-18-2009, 11:28 PM
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There is major fallacy in equating alcohol/drug abuse with ciggerettes. Physically and psychologically nicotine is very addictive, but once you get through the physical aspects of the addiction, which is difficult, the mental obsession is usually not as serious because we don't use ciggerettes in the same way as alcohol or drugs. Alcohol and drug addiction is a mind/body/soul deal, it affects our thought processes and being in ways that nicotine doesn't. Alcohol and drugs become a way to deal with the stress of life on a daily basis, to the point where even if you can put down the drink or drug, everyday life will continue to trigger you for a long time, if not forever. I don't want to diminish how difficult it is to quit smoking, but I think that we need to recognize that solutions for people quitting smoking successfuly and doing it alone, may not apply to alcohol or drugs.
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Old 11-19-2009, 01:08 AM
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In the end you have to do everything on your own.
Meaning, you can get all kinds of support, but YOU have to do it....
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