I think I need face to face and I know that i'm probably seen as "lucky" cause I have 2 hours a week to talk to a counsellor if I need to (or can), but its times when you get this urge, this feeling, this craving, this everything is going wrong and only this can sort it...message in your head, you have a demon on ur shoulders saying ur only friend is the bottle, is a plastic "bomb", you feel so weak, so desperate, so need to escape and know that they right that it will help, but then u have this other thing, that says but only in short term....u want to stop, but as always the demon seems to win....before when I stopped, it helped to have someone either face to face or over the phone to help fight the demon......
I don't know how to fight the demon on my own.