So I guess what i'm reading (sorry if this seems wrong), is that, in order to get "clean" in the first instance its will power, determination, reminders of the "gutter" but to stay clean its support in any form, be it internet, groups, one on one...I appreciate that everyone has their own way off dealing with getting clean, and then stayin clean..just for me it seems I need someone there not nagging, but being understanding that i'm struggling, and to help destract me whilst the urge passes..or when i'm in physical pain from the withdrawals, to remind me that (cause when ur there, u don't, its only now i've used and drank that i know tomorrow I will be back where I was monday) I will have to go thru the withdrawals again, that i will have to have that "first day" again....I don't know. maybe its just my weird head that can't make sense of "me", or "deal with me".