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I'm new and need help

Old 11-01-2009, 09:38 PM
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Jin
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I'm new and need help

Hi! I'm Jin and new to this forum. I had troubleshooting my first post

I have absolutely no friends, no job, no money, no family except for my mom and my soberity, how can I improve my myself from here on? It's still a lonely place.

In the past, I had everything but lost it all because of my addiction. I feel like I have a new addiction now which is "thinking about my losses"

Is that possible to have such an addiction?
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Old 11-01-2009, 09:53 PM
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Welcome jJim ....

You will find a lot of support and information here.
Glad you decided to join us.....

How long have you been sober?
Are you useing a recovery program/support net work?
What sort of things are you interested in?
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Old 11-01-2009, 10:03 PM
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Des Plaines, yep, been there worked there for years, love the old McDonald's shrine, lol.

Welcome to SR. I'm a former Chicago boy, now in CA. Don't miss the winters much at all, cept around Christmas, loved those white Christmas's.

I know the AA program is strong there, in fact I went to my 1st AA meeting in Desplaines, I was 19 and not ready, but I still remember it. That's where I'd start looking to build a new network for support and contacts. You may also consider day labor, but I know it's hard with no money for transportation, buses, etc.

Losses, sure, I have a ton of those, ex-wife who tried every way possible to help me stop drinking, family, business I built over many years, trucks, the home my ex still has, sure, the losses just keep piling up over many years of alcohol abuse. The most important loss is of myself, for I became someone I didn't recognize when I looked in the mirror, there was something about my eyes, they looked hollow and scared, so I know how it is. I also know there are alot of great, caring people here at SR, so keep asking for help, and keep in touch. An addiction is an addiction, most are harmful, so start with sobriety first, then focus on dealing with the losses. Just suggestions.

Welcome again.
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Old 11-01-2009, 10:22 PM
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Hi Jin

For me the only way to get over what I'd done to myself was to start again and do it better.

I realised I couldn't do anything about yesterday, but I could try my best to make today ok.

It takes time to retrain yourself to let go of the past but it's worth it.
It's worked for me for over 2 years now.

I found a lot of support and help here. I know you will too

Welcome
D
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Old 11-01-2009, 10:49 PM
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jin, im also new here, and welcome.

i know about your first post, when i first found this website a few days ago, i was all exited to find a support network, i spent like 3 hours writing my first post. then it wouldnt post, every time i hit the button the screen went blank. i literally cried.

but i finally got through and all is well. i have been here several times a day, this website is fantastic, everyone here is so great.

i dont have any advice on your question other than stay here, you will def have friends in no time flat.
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Old 11-01-2009, 10:52 PM
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Jin
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Originally Posted by firestorm090 View Post
Des Plaines, yep, been there worked there for years, love the old McDonald's shrine, lol.

I know the AA program is strong there, in fact I went to my 1st AA meeting in Desplaines, I was 19 and not ready, but I still remember it.
Wow, that's great to hear. I'm a Chicago boy too. You should see Des Plaines now, all new condominiums.

I just need to get this out of my system, my losses is about my 2 cars I sold for drugs, my 2nd DUI that costed me 10,000 dollars and my best job loss.

The result of my using that is affecting me 4 years later, I can't find or get to a job because of my DUIs and because I sold it. But reading your reply has helped me one step in letting go.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:09 PM
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:11 PM
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Jin,

Condos, huh? My oldest brother still lives in Addison, my ex-wife is in Elmhurst, in the house we bought together, my sister lives in Naperville and is in AA, so I know the drill very well. I had a great job in DesPlaines years ago, on Mannheim Rd (sp?), but lost it due to getting drunk and spouting off at the owner one day, so I, as well as many here, know what it's like. Losses mount up in life, alcoholic or not, but they're damn tough to deal with sometimes, and especially tough to overcome. But overcome, we must. Try looking for solutions instead of focusing on the problem, write them down, then let your mind wander, think of every solution you can think of, then try to find one that works, not a perfect one, just one that works, then give it all you've got and don't quit till you get positive results. You can do this.

Just wish the Cubs could win a world series in my lifetime, but who knows?
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:14 PM
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Jin
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Originally Posted by myxomatosis View Post
i spent like 3 hours writing my first post. then it wouldnt post
Hi Myxomatosis,

Me too, about 3 hours...I literally wrote a whole story but we can laugh about it now.

I think I learned something right now...I can learn to take the past and the losses in a lighter way and maybe kind of laugh about it now. Hmmm...

And the replies above, everybody else that's reading this post can learn too about loss and the past, we can learn to take things lightly and to always know that we are not alone in this.

Boy, I have alot of practicing to do. :ghug3
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Old 11-02-2009, 05:06 AM
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Welcome to our family, Jin. It's so great to have you here.

Grieving over my past losses kept me from getting sober in the first place. Every time I'd try to drink less & the fog would lift, I'd see the destruction I'd caused & run right back to my "shelter". Numbing myself cost me years of my life. When I finally was able to quit, I still spent about a year wasting time on regrets. That's where SR came in. The more I read the stories here, I knew I was not alone anymore. I wanted to move forward & enjoy the rest of my life, the way most people here had learned to do.

We've already been devastated by a terrible disease & had many things taken from us. To waste the time we have left dwelling on the past makes our existence pointless. We can't allow that to happen - let's remember the bad stuff only to serve as a reminder that we're never going back down into hell again. Then let's walk forward toward the light of a new day. You can do this!
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