Hi Jin
For me the only way to get over what I'd done to myself was to start again and do it better.
I realised I couldn't do anything about yesterday, but I could try my best to make today ok.
It takes time to retrain yourself to let go of the past but it's worth it.
It's worked for me for over 2 years now.
I found a lot of support and help here. I know you will too
Welcome
D