August sobriety group
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 31
VC... Let me try to help. As I said, after 40 years of heavy drinking my tolerance for alcohol was obviously very high. I went to an event (old company reunion) and a few drinks and thought I was fine. I wasn't and got nailed on a DUI. I was handcuffed and taken to a detox center. if you haven't been handcuffed and put in the back of a cruiser... trust me you NEVER want that to happen. It was horrible. the detox center was worse. The only thing even worse than those two was calling my wife, and also having to have her come and get me out the next morning. Explaining to my 10 year old daughter why "daddy" wasn't home and where daddy's car was was pretty bad. Now, I can't drive her anywhere for the next month (or drive at all), and following that I will have the embarrasment of having to blow into a breathalizer attached to my ignition in order to get the car started and will have to periodically blow into it while driving (Hey kids want to go the movies? - I don't think so).
Five days ago my wife and I got a call. A dear friend of ours (maid of honor at our wedding) was in intensive care and had been for three days. She went to the hospital because she was throwing up a lot. When she got there the rushed her to ICU in fear a coronary arrest was near. She was loaded and her organs were in danger of shutting down. She became delirious, had no idea what was going on, didn't recognize good friends (and this was after three days in ICU), and they are still concerned that there may be permanent brain and/or organ damage. She was dehydrated, suffering malnutrition, had possible liver damage, and just mess. She was so far gone that it wasn't until yesterday - 7 days after being admitted, that the hospital felt she was aware enough to sign her admission papers and permission to give her parent medical information.
If she did not make it to hospital, she would be dead now. She is 47. she has a very successful career (including TV interviews and all kinds of prominence).
I don't know about you, but I was on my way there. I will not go back (God, I sure will try not to go back).
I know it is hard. Get rid of the stuff. I have also found it surprising. When I get together with people I know and offer a drink, I get a surprising response when I tell them I quit drinking. they look at me with a little smile and a nod - as if they are saying themselves, "Wow, that's pretty neat. He sure must have more personal strength than I thought."
Of course I hope they are right. I am almost looking for occasions to tell people I quit.
You can do this... and you must. Each time you try and fail, it get wore and worse. You only get so many chances before your loved ones can't get medical information on you as you lay dying in the hospital because you weren't lucid enough to get signed in.
VC... I hope you don' think I'm dumping. I am writing this probably more for me, than for you. I am 30 minutes from the 48 hour mark.
Buddha
Five days ago my wife and I got a call. A dear friend of ours (maid of honor at our wedding) was in intensive care and had been for three days. She went to the hospital because she was throwing up a lot. When she got there the rushed her to ICU in fear a coronary arrest was near. She was loaded and her organs were in danger of shutting down. She became delirious, had no idea what was going on, didn't recognize good friends (and this was after three days in ICU), and they are still concerned that there may be permanent brain and/or organ damage. She was dehydrated, suffering malnutrition, had possible liver damage, and just mess. She was so far gone that it wasn't until yesterday - 7 days after being admitted, that the hospital felt she was aware enough to sign her admission papers and permission to give her parent medical information.
If she did not make it to hospital, she would be dead now. She is 47. she has a very successful career (including TV interviews and all kinds of prominence).
I don't know about you, but I was on my way there. I will not go back (God, I sure will try not to go back).
I know it is hard. Get rid of the stuff. I have also found it surprising. When I get together with people I know and offer a drink, I get a surprising response when I tell them I quit drinking. they look at me with a little smile and a nod - as if they are saying themselves, "Wow, that's pretty neat. He sure must have more personal strength than I thought."
Of course I hope they are right. I am almost looking for occasions to tell people I quit.
You can do this... and you must. Each time you try and fail, it get wore and worse. You only get so many chances before your loved ones can't get medical information on you as you lay dying in the hospital because you weren't lucid enough to get signed in.
VC... I hope you don' think I'm dumping. I am writing this probably more for me, than for you. I am 30 minutes from the 48 hour mark.
Buddha
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 31
Richard... I sure hope you are right. I am shocked this first 48 hours has been ok. But I am scared that will change. I have heard of people having delayed withdrawal symptoms, and with as much as I used to drink (note the past tense!) I don't think I can count on being that lucky. So I am now sitting here waiting the shoe to drop, over-analyzing everything I feel and bodily reaction, wondering if "this is it."
Being her... and the support already from this board is helping.
Being her... and the support already from this board is helping.
perpetual optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,959
Wow Buddha.....that's alot of stuff going on......sorry about your DUI, that stinks.......and it ends up being pretty costly......also sorry to hear about your friend....this stuff can get really scary........no one would even know if something happened to me.....no family......just me......thanks for sharing your stories......an no, I don't think you were dumping on me......sometimes it's good to get that stuff out.
BD< I am in search of the motivation........I will be ok.....thanks for listening and helping......I do appreciate you.
BD< I am in search of the motivation........I will be ok.....thanks for listening and helping......I do appreciate you.
Love my puppies
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: lala land
Posts: 150
Originally Posted by MarsHill 
Good Morning 
Today is Day 1 for the one millionth time. I had 8 drinks last night. My head hurts. My internal organs are begging for mercy and I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever get control of this. It scares me that I might waste another year of my life drinking my evenings away because I don't have the energy to get through it on my own. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling like a prisoner. Everyday I wake up determined to change and by the end of the day, a light switches inside of me and I am not the same person. I can feel the effects that the alcohol is having on my brain. I'm depressed and have no energy. Alcoholism sucks. I can't believe I'm an alcoholic, but I am. I am angry. I have allowed alcohol to steal so much from me, but yet I continue to covet it like it's a prize. It's always there waiting for me, for whatever the feeling or occassion...UGH!
I want to let it go. And as I type that sentence I feel like a hypocrite already. If I *really* wanted to let it go, wouldn't I? Isn't that the real problem? I don't *really* want to NEVER drink again. I want to be *normal* (and I use the word loosely, hoping you all know what I mean by that). I want to be able to enjoy a drink on occassion and let it end at that. It's like whenever I attempt sobriety, I go into mourning rather than celebrating the freedom that lies ahead. UGH!
Thank you for listening. I am in. For today. I really hope I stay.
Love,
Mars
Today is Day 1 for the one millionth time. I had 8 drinks last night. My head hurts. My internal organs are begging for mercy and I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever get control of this. It scares me that I might waste another year of my life drinking my evenings away because I don't have the energy to get through it on my own. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling like a prisoner. Everyday I wake up determined to change and by the end of the day, a light switches inside of me and I am not the same person. I can feel the effects that the alcohol is having on my brain. I'm depressed and have no energy. Alcoholism sucks. I can't believe I'm an alcoholic, but I am. I am angry. I have allowed alcohol to steal so much from me, but yet I continue to covet it like it's a prize. It's always there waiting for me, for whatever the feeling or occassion...UGH!
I want to let it go. And as I type that sentence I feel like a hypocrite already. If I *really* wanted to let it go, wouldn't I? Isn't that the real problem? I don't *really* want to NEVER drink again. I want to be *normal* (and I use the word loosely, hoping you all know what I mean by that). I want to be able to enjoy a drink on occassion and let it end at that. It's like whenever I attempt sobriety, I go into mourning rather than celebrating the freedom that lies ahead. UGH!
Thank you for listening. I am in. For today. I really hope I stay.
Love,
Mars
Love my puppies
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: lala land
Posts: 150
Originally Posted by ViciousCycle
Didn't quite make day one....but a far cry from the last few weeks......baby steps I guess. You guys sound good.....the way I want to sound by the end of this weekend........that first step sure is hard!!!!!!!! I NEED to take it!
Sleep took some time, but it will come.......and when it does it will really feel good. You will get happier everyday too as the endorphins aren't being all drugged up......
So can someone kindly kick me in the a@@ to start this sobriety deal again? LOL.......
Sleep took some time, but it will come.......and when it does it will really feel good. You will get happier everyday too as the endorphins aren't being all drugged up......
So can someone kindly kick me in the a@@ to start this sobriety deal again? LOL.......
consider yourself kicked. Now how about a :ghug2 You can do it VC...have faith in yourself!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 31
Wow... I just spent time going through all of the messages in this thread. there is so much i want to say, comment on, people to thank, encouragement to give, etc. etc. I don't have that much time now.
BUT... I do have a suggestion that may help some for the weekend... it has been a blessing for me these first few days. I was a scotch drinker and needed a replacement. I am now addicted to SanPellegrino (sp?) sparkling water. I squeeze in a quarter of a lime (leaving it in the glass). It seems like a cocktail, but its water (necessary), with minerals (helpful), and very tasty.
I hope it might work for someone else as much as it has for me so far.
BUT... I do have a suggestion that may help some for the weekend... it has been a blessing for me these first few days. I was a scotch drinker and needed a replacement. I am now addicted to SanPellegrino (sp?) sparkling water. I squeeze in a quarter of a lime (leaving it in the glass). It seems like a cocktail, but its water (necessary), with minerals (helpful), and very tasty.
I hope it might work for someone else as much as it has for me so far.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
WOW, some great stuff on here again. For some reason, I just don't even want to drink. I know only being on day 6 I should be in all sorts of cravings, but I am not. I just got back from my parents house where me and my family and my brother and his family were celebrating my nieces 7th birthday. My dad, brother, mom, and wife all had a couple beers (they are all very responsible drinkers) and I just sipped on water. My brother asked why just water, and I just told him I am trying to get back in shape and I don't need the calories. He said congrats, and that was it. My mom and wife both said how proud of me they are. (Neither one of them know the extent that my addiction had gone either.) My wife doesn't even know I post on here. But it was so nice. I came home from work, actually thinking just "one" beer sounded kind of good. But instead I threw on my running shoes and put my daughter in her stroller and went our for a jog. By the time I got home, I was so thankful I didn't have that drink. I replaced something destructive with something constructive! I am getting up tomorrow (my first sober saturday in years) and heading to the gym.
I hope to see all of you back here on Monday at the latest!
I hope to see all of you back here on Monday at the latest!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 12
Hey Guys :)
It is almost 10:30 here and I am getting ready to head to bed. Tonight was the first night I've spent with my family and didn't have a buzz. We made S'mores after dinner and instead of shuffling them off to bed, we gazed at the stars and took an evening walk. It was AWESOME! I want all my nights to be like this...completely "unwasted"...no pun intended.
It was exciting to log in and see all the great posts. I wish I had more time to comment but I am so tired and really need to try and catch some zzz's.
Welcome to everyone who has joined in and thank you all for sharing and supporting. You are all awesome! Sweet dreams to all!
Love,
Mars
It is almost 10:30 here and I am getting ready to head to bed. Tonight was the first night I've spent with my family and didn't have a buzz. We made S'mores after dinner and instead of shuffling them off to bed, we gazed at the stars and took an evening walk. It was AWESOME! I want all my nights to be like this...completely "unwasted"...no pun intended.
It was exciting to log in and see all the great posts. I wish I had more time to comment but I am so tired and really need to try and catch some zzz's.
Welcome to everyone who has joined in and thank you all for sharing and supporting. You are all awesome! Sweet dreams to all!
Love,
Mars
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Congrats Mars. I hope you get some restful sleep. I am still having a hard time sleeping. The most I have gotten in any night is 4 hours at the most. I am so tired, but when I go to bed my mind just keeps spinning. I hope eventually it starts to come around. Looking forward to a nice sober weekend!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 12
Day 3
Good Morning Friends :)
I am rushing to get out the door for a day trip, but I had to come on and share that, as of last night, the battle with insomnia has begun. This happened last year too :( I am so bummed...The first night was fine...but last night was just how I remembered it. It's going to be a long week, but so worth it. I'll "see" you all later today.
Keep busy everyone and have an AWESOME day! :)
Love,
Mars
I am rushing to get out the door for a day trip, but I had to come on and share that, as of last night, the battle with insomnia has begun. This happened last year too :( I am so bummed...The first night was fine...but last night was just how I remembered it. It's going to be a long week, but so worth it. I'll "see" you all later today.
Keep busy everyone and have an AWESOME day! :)
Love,
Mars
grateful to be here
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 426
buddha thanks for the post. my dui was early last sunday morning. i'm going thru my own personal hell right now of my own doing. you sound like you are doing good nevertheless. i'm firm on my stand to never drink again too. i've drank for over 28yrs... the time for quitting is way overdue and i should have done it without the penalties of a dui scaring me ****less. im ashamed and embarassed and time isn't passing quick enough for the ppl that keep telling me this will pass. im on slowwww time now. but im here. [sorry about the woe is me] august is my month to make good and to do good. i'm glad there are so many supportive ppl here. and i love the ideas esp remembering HALT. that gets me every time esp tired and lonely. lonely was the evil being sitting on my shoulder the nite of the dui. tired usually gets me everyday after work--lonely is a weekend worker.
anyhow...i'm a gabber here lately on the boards..... congrats to everyone on sober days. i'm gonna wait a bit before i start counting. i feel like it's not counting right now since my mom is chauffeuring me around and checking in on me. and of course the dui courtdate hanging over my head--thinking about drinking makes me sick at my stomach at the moment.
anyhow...i'm a gabber here lately on the boards..... congrats to everyone on sober days. i'm gonna wait a bit before i start counting. i feel like it's not counting right now since my mom is chauffeuring me around and checking in on me. and of course the dui courtdate hanging over my head--thinking about drinking makes me sick at my stomach at the moment.
Love my puppies
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: lala land
Posts: 150
Originally Posted by bohemianzen
buddha thanks for the post. my dui was early last sunday morning. i'm going thru my own personal hell right now of my own doing. you sound like you are doing good nevertheless. i'm firm on my stand to never drink again too. i've drank for over 28yrs... the time for quitting is way overdue and i should have done it without the penalties of a dui scaring me ****less. im ashamed and embarassed and time isn't passing quick enough for the ppl that keep telling me this will pass. im on slowwww time now. but im here. [sorry about the woe is me] august is my month to make good and to do good. i'm glad there are so many supportive ppl here. and i love the ideas esp remembering HALT. that gets me every time esp tired and lonely. lonely was the evil being sitting on my shoulder the nite of the dui. tired usually gets me everyday after work--lonely is a weekend worker.
anyhow...i'm a gabber here lately on the boards..... congrats to everyone on sober days. i'm gonna wait a bit before i start counting. i feel like it's not counting right now since my mom is chauffeuring me around and checking in on me. and of course the dui courtdate hanging over my head--thinking about drinking makes me sick at my stomach at the moment.
anyhow...i'm a gabber here lately on the boards..... congrats to everyone on sober days. i'm gonna wait a bit before i start counting. i feel like it's not counting right now since my mom is chauffeuring me around and checking in on me. and of course the dui courtdate hanging over my head--thinking about drinking makes me sick at my stomach at the moment.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: wa.
Posts: 23
Well I'm glad to join this August group...good to be here. this is the third attempt and day 3 for me.. and I'm hoping it's the charm....think that I finally have the right attitude and I'm looking forward to the support here as well as day 4 and the future...thanks folks
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