Class of July 2009
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Osaka Japan
Posts: 55
Congrats and some Info...Hope everyone is doing well.
Hello fellow classmates...congrats to everyone on their clean and sober time....This post has some information that I felt was very helpful to me. Wanted to share it with you. URL is at the bottom.
Figure 3 illustrates the change in behavior and attitude when alcohol is ingested by someone with subconscious emotional conflicts.
Figure 4 illustrates the emotional picture when alcohol is withdrawn. An even greater emotional instability is created. This emotional state becomes increasingly too painful to tolerate. Now the alcoholic feels the compulsion to drink, not just because of the preexisting subconscious emotional conflicts, but also because of the new anxieties and guilt produced by the last drinking bout, which impose an additional burden of pain. The conscious thought processes have also become even more confused and filled with negative and self-destructive attitudes.
William E. Swegan, 2. The Psychology of Alcoholism
Figure 3 illustrates the change in behavior and attitude when alcohol is ingested by someone with subconscious emotional conflicts.
Figure 4 illustrates the emotional picture when alcohol is withdrawn. An even greater emotional instability is created. This emotional state becomes increasingly too painful to tolerate. Now the alcoholic feels the compulsion to drink, not just because of the preexisting subconscious emotional conflicts, but also because of the new anxieties and guilt produced by the last drinking bout, which impose an additional burden of pain. The conscious thought processes have also become even more confused and filled with negative and self-destructive attitudes.
William E. Swegan, 2. The Psychology of Alcoholism
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5
Just checking in with the class of July. I am happy to say that tonight makes 45 days of sobriety for me. I also attended my first AA meeting Sunday from the advice from a few others to keep my strength intact for long distance sobriety. Every day things are getting better. The transformation of body and mind is incredible. Hang in there the fight is well worth the struggle and you won’t regret it.
Good luck to all of you who decided to take the step of becoming well again. Also thanks to all of the support that you people provide here on SR, I couldn’t have made it without you.
Thanks
Makeitso
Sobriety Birthday (07/05/09)
Good luck to all of you who decided to take the step of becoming well again. Also thanks to all of the support that you people provide here on SR, I couldn’t have made it without you.
Thanks
Makeitso
Sobriety Birthday (07/05/09)
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
MrOsaka, that chart is disturbing. I found myself staring at it, and slowly realizing it was near accurate. I guess thank you for posting it, it makes this upheaval in my mind less random and more defined. But it brings up questions, too--questions that are still undefined, nagging at the upper levels of my subconscious I suppose.
Makeitso, congratulations on 45 days. That's a long time, but I'm happy it was worth it for you.
I'm at the end of my day, halfway through the day. It was a fairly busy day--much more so than I've had in a while--and I am sitting here realizing another trigger I have. The comedown from being productive all day. I want to do something, but I feel stuck right here in this chair. Seems I just ought to relax till tomorrow, but I can't seem to unwind. I remember what I used to do now. It's been a long time since I had a day like this, and I better get used to them again.
The Team (the AA people I connected with) told me they were going to pick me up for a AA meeting tonight, but then they couldn't get hold of the person they wanted to drive me, since they all live 20 miles away. I hadn't planned anything for tonight, and now I'm really regretting it.
More so than when I posted in my 'new' class, and that's making me nervous, it's only been about a half hour and, watching my written words, I can see how my mood has changed so rapidly.
Makeitso, congratulations on 45 days. That's a long time, but I'm happy it was worth it for you.
I'm at the end of my day, halfway through the day. It was a fairly busy day--much more so than I've had in a while--and I am sitting here realizing another trigger I have. The comedown from being productive all day. I want to do something, but I feel stuck right here in this chair. Seems I just ought to relax till tomorrow, but I can't seem to unwind. I remember what I used to do now. It's been a long time since I had a day like this, and I better get used to them again.
The Team (the AA people I connected with) told me they were going to pick me up for a AA meeting tonight, but then they couldn't get hold of the person they wanted to drive me, since they all live 20 miles away. I hadn't planned anything for tonight, and now I'm really regretting it.
More so than when I posted in my 'new' class, and that's making me nervous, it's only been about a half hour and, watching my written words, I can see how my mood has changed so rapidly.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Osaka Japan
Posts: 55
Understandable
Thirtybubba...
I understand what you mean. It was disturbing to me as well when I first looked at it, but it helped me better "put my finger" on the things that were really nagging me. I believe that we can fix the problem as long as we can identify the problem. It is very difficult to fix the problem when we don't really know what the problem is.
Eg. For me...I began using to enhance my bravery and alter my sexual attitude. Then the day after I noticed the Fear and Guilt, however, I hadn't realized that it was the same Fear and Guilt that I suppressed in the first place, plus the Guilt of using. So it was in essence a tripple shot of Anxiety.
The clincher for me is...Now I truly understand that this is going to happen every time I use. It is physical. I believe I am intelligent enough to realize only one shot of Anxiety is better than three and there is no way to get round the first one.
Thanks for your response and Good luck with the rest of today. Hope you don't have too much anxiety.
I understand what you mean. It was disturbing to me as well when I first looked at it, but it helped me better "put my finger" on the things that were really nagging me. I believe that we can fix the problem as long as we can identify the problem. It is very difficult to fix the problem when we don't really know what the problem is. Eg. For me...I began using to enhance my bravery and alter my sexual attitude. Then the day after I noticed the Fear and Guilt, however, I hadn't realized that it was the same Fear and Guilt that I suppressed in the first place, plus the Guilt of using. So it was in essence a tripple shot of Anxiety.
The clincher for me is...Now I truly understand that this is going to happen every time I use. It is physical. I believe I am intelligent enough to realize only one shot of Anxiety is better than three and there is no way to get round the first one.
Thanks for your response and Good luck with the rest of today. Hope you don't have too much anxiety.
Keep leading the way!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Hi all another dawn of day...
Congrats on the 45 Makeitso. thirtybubba that sucks about the lift, i hope you got there in the end or have another one lined up for today! MrOsaka i have loads of these from rehab and they are all spot on, i have lent my steps 1-3 book to a friend but will have a look and see if i can photocopy and scan a couple...these are really useful to get the information right there in your face, so thanks for the post!
So...AA meeting tonight whoohoo:-)
Oh yeah i have to write an amend letter today, my sponsor keeps reminding me so today is the day...i have managed to put it off for a week, even without thinking about it but will do it today!
Got to go and dump some boxes, go swimming...top up tan...go for coffees...that's it!
Have a great day everyone!
Congrats on the 45 Makeitso. thirtybubba that sucks about the lift, i hope you got there in the end or have another one lined up for today! MrOsaka i have loads of these from rehab and they are all spot on, i have lent my steps 1-3 book to a friend but will have a look and see if i can photocopy and scan a couple...these are really useful to get the information right there in your face, so thanks for the post!
So...AA meeting tonight whoohoo:-)
Oh yeah i have to write an amend letter today, my sponsor keeps reminding me so today is the day...i have managed to put it off for a week, even without thinking about it but will do it today!
Got to go and dump some boxes, go swimming...top up tan...go for coffees...that's it!
Have a great day everyone!
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
23 days today...learning about how to put 'faith into action' , humility, and doing my HP will. By becoming vulnerable before others--just putting my stuff out there--not knowing how it will be taken by those I speak to, yet doing it anyway...has given me much needed freedom I have needed about being honest--not so much with them--but with me. I no longer have to hide behind my mask. I am an addict in recovery. I have something to offer--not because of anything I have done--but because I have allowed myself to be a vessel--an instrument with which to have my mistakes be exposed to help the next person seeking help...all in my HP "perfect timing". It's not all about me. It never really was. I am starting to actually see that now. More has been revealed.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: fl
Posts: 246
Congrats to all our July class those days are getting bigger well be counting months soon !! ( doing the happpy dance )
Does everyone else have a lack of consentration mine is still real bad my work is starting to get effected GRRRRRRRR need brain pills I wonder when my brain will get back to normal.
Keep hanging in, to all have a great day off to see if I can kick start this brain into working
MrOsaka your post was like looking in a mirror
Does everyone else have a lack of consentration mine is still real bad my work is starting to get effected GRRRRRRRR need brain pills I wonder when my brain will get back to normal.
Keep hanging in, to all have a great day off to see if I can kick start this brain into working
MrOsaka your post was like looking in a mirror
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I went down to the gym today for the first time in years. When i was in my mid to late twenties i was really into the gym, loved it...the smell and just being there today was great! Did 45 mins on the bike, bear in mind i have been swimming everyday for 5 weeks...ffs don't go to the gym and start off with 45 mins hehehe
Good GA meeting tonight, although some people in there really struggling at the moment which is a shame, it's only a small group so i gave a lady my email and said if she wanted a coffee no probs up to her. Obviously as a rule that would not be appropriate but there was only 4 in our meeting tonight!
Need to top up my tan tomorrow, AA meeting tomorrow night.
Oh yeah i almost forgot, i have moved the last few boxes from my ex's flat, they have been there for 4 years lol i found an old playstation 2 and my favourite game so have been devoting sginificant time to that last 2 days...whilst playing it yesterday my face started to hurt and i realised i had been literally smiling all the time whilst playing it.
Thats about it, living life and enjoying it:-) Hope all are good too:-)
Good GA meeting tonight, although some people in there really struggling at the moment which is a shame, it's only a small group so i gave a lady my email and said if she wanted a coffee no probs up to her. Obviously as a rule that would not be appropriate but there was only 4 in our meeting tonight!
Need to top up my tan tomorrow, AA meeting tomorrow night.
Oh yeah i almost forgot, i have moved the last few boxes from my ex's flat, they have been there for 4 years lol i found an old playstation 2 and my favourite game so have been devoting sginificant time to that last 2 days...whilst playing it yesterday my face started to hurt and i realised i had been literally smiling all the time whilst playing it.
Thats about it, living life and enjoying it:-) Hope all are good too:-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Just been to gym to do some weights on the upper half, lol...i have been through this twice in my life so far third time is a charm hopefully i will manage to keep it up for more than 18 months! It is such a hassle to get into...lifting 10kilo ladies weights for biceps whilst looking in the mirror is not the same as 20 kilos with a nice rip! No matter i know it's only 4-6 weeks of aches and pains whilst the body says what the hell are you doing to me and then gets used to it...fantastic though i haven't done weights for 10 years...used to have a very nice bod so got a lot to live up to;-)
Really cool to be able to so this in (sorry am able to do it because of sobriety i mean)sobriety, hope everyone is well!
Really cool to be able to so this in (sorry am able to do it because of sobriety i mean)sobriety, hope everyone is well!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 248
I don't post on here too much, but still in class! Guess I'm the wallflower. Yesterday was 30 days and while physical symptoms have pretty much leveled out my mental state is not great.
I seem to suffer from "Is this how the rest of my life is going to be". I frankly am very bored and not used to it. I know all about finding new sober friends, get a hobby, follow the steps and all the other suggestions. Maybe I'm just not ready. I did start a new part time job and the dr put me on antidepressants but I wish I could feel the happiness that so many of you are feeling.
Yesterday I came ....this....close to picking up a drink and I don't want to start over. I hung in and am very glad today!
Sorry for the pity rant. I am glad everyone is doing so well and hanging in there!
I seem to suffer from "Is this how the rest of my life is going to be". I frankly am very bored and not used to it. I know all about finding new sober friends, get a hobby, follow the steps and all the other suggestions. Maybe I'm just not ready. I did start a new part time job and the dr put me on antidepressants but I wish I could feel the happiness that so many of you are feeling.
Yesterday I came ....this....close to picking up a drink and I don't want to start over. I hung in and am very glad today!
Sorry for the pity rant. I am glad everyone is doing so well and hanging in there!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Osaka Japan
Posts: 55
What's up Class of July!!
Yeahgr8...looks like you are staying active. In my case going to the gym is like staying sober...gotta take it day by day...Thinking about the long haul is a bit daunting. Keep it up though...It will give you mental strength if you push yourself past the "give up" points.
Wanttolive...Congrats on not picking up the drink. Someone once told me that if you are bored when you are alone then you are probably a boring person.
I don't believe you are a boring person. When I get bored I try to remind myself that staying sober is actually an activity. You don't really have to be doing anything else along with it. Recently I have been visualizing the time in advance, setting a schedule (can be simple like...drink a glass of water...take a shower...watch a movie...go to the grocery store...take a nap...etc..) and then trying to do those things step by step. We generally know the right things to do. Been working on that system for a couple of years. Seems to be working now.
Tomorrow will be 4 weeks for me.
Had an argument with my girlfriend tonight and thought about drinking but then thought...Nah...Not the way I wanna go. However, I had a big ball of "damn" in my belly. I had read before that we have to go thru those feelings and then replace them with alternative positive actions. This reinforces the new habits. So I took a walk. Prayed. Thought about swimming with my kids tomorrow. Visualized drinking some cold water, writing this piece, watching a movie, making love to my girl, and then falling asleep. After that I had a much more positive attitude when I got home. Already on writing this piece and my girl just went to take a shower. We are gonna be ok.
Hope you guys are doing well. Once again. Congrats to everyone for every sober day.
Thanks for letting me share.
Mr.Osaka.
Wanttolive...Congrats on not picking up the drink. Someone once told me that if you are bored when you are alone then you are probably a boring person.
I don't believe you are a boring person. When I get bored I try to remind myself that staying sober is actually an activity. You don't really have to be doing anything else along with it. Recently I have been visualizing the time in advance, setting a schedule (can be simple like...drink a glass of water...take a shower...watch a movie...go to the grocery store...take a nap...etc..) and then trying to do those things step by step. We generally know the right things to do. Been working on that system for a couple of years. Seems to be working now. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks for me.
Had an argument with my girlfriend tonight and thought about drinking but then thought...Nah...Not the way I wanna go. However, I had a big ball of "damn" in my belly. I had read before that we have to go thru those feelings and then replace them with alternative positive actions. This reinforces the new habits. So I took a walk. Prayed. Thought about swimming with my kids tomorrow. Visualized drinking some cold water, writing this piece, watching a movie, making love to my girl, and then falling asleep. After that I had a much more positive attitude when I got home. Already on writing this piece and my girl just went to take a shower. We are gonna be ok. Hope you guys are doing well. Once again. Congrats to everyone for every sober day.
Thanks for letting me share.
Mr.Osaka.
Last edited by MrOsaka; 08-22-2009 at 07:35 AM. Reason: Adding more info...
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Hey y'all it's July's own lil' prodigal daughter. Don't know how y'all did it, but congrats for everybody and their time. Me, I'm back to a day, but still h-bent on doing this, so I guess that's something.
I think I found the person in AA who does not care at all, and for being a dependent fool I let her bring me down. Pick myself up again, dust off again, I'll be back at that meeting tomorrow if I gotta steal a car to get there. I don't know how her reckoning goes, but phone time costs me and I see no point in talking for an hour about how she can't come and get me again.
I'm starting to think I'm becoming a reverse binge drinker. I binge on sobriety every so often? Ugh, going through withdrawals every so often instead of a hangover? Now there's a future to look forward to. Somalia's a nice vacation spot, I hear...
Wantto- wow, yeah, I hear that about knowing all that but just not doing it. Only this time--don't know about you--I don't feel I got a choice, so I'm going into all that headlong like I do, hopefully have a bunch of things to do by next weekend. I'm not real worried about weekends anymore, it's Tuesdays I gotta watch out for, so hopefully on Tuesday I'm learning something new to do.
Yeahgr8, that's great you're back into that. I used to be an athlete, now I can't walk straight... 'course it is temporary. When I got a few more weeks, I'll be following your lead... hoping for different results though. I'd look strange all ripped. Okay, it would probably scare small children.
Well off to look at Anna's list again and try to find things I can do/afford to do.
I think I found the person in AA who does not care at all, and for being a dependent fool I let her bring me down. Pick myself up again, dust off again, I'll be back at that meeting tomorrow if I gotta steal a car to get there. I don't know how her reckoning goes, but phone time costs me and I see no point in talking for an hour about how she can't come and get me again.
I'm starting to think I'm becoming a reverse binge drinker. I binge on sobriety every so often? Ugh, going through withdrawals every so often instead of a hangover? Now there's a future to look forward to. Somalia's a nice vacation spot, I hear...
Wantto- wow, yeah, I hear that about knowing all that but just not doing it. Only this time--don't know about you--I don't feel I got a choice, so I'm going into all that headlong like I do, hopefully have a bunch of things to do by next weekend. I'm not real worried about weekends anymore, it's Tuesdays I gotta watch out for, so hopefully on Tuesday I'm learning something new to do.
Yeahgr8, that's great you're back into that. I used to be an athlete, now I can't walk straight... 'course it is temporary. When I got a few more weeks, I'll be following your lead... hoping for different results though. I'd look strange all ripped. Okay, it would probably scare small children.
Well off to look at Anna's list again and try to find things I can do/afford to do.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Today is World Unity Day in the NA fellowship.......the main event being held in Barcelona, Spain. (yeahgr8 --I am jealous. 
j/k) Anyway, I went to work this morning then went to an NA group near my job....they were playing some of the actual speakers over the loudspeakers in the main meeting room. How they were connected to Spain---I'm not sure exactly...maybe over the phone or something........anyway--I got to hear people from many different parts of the world speak---such as Japan, India, Puerto Rico, etc....as well as a lady from the US got to share their ESH with all of us. It was absolutely amazing. The 12 steps have changed many lives--I guess I never really understood the magnitude of it before. We do recover.
j/k) Anyway, I went to work this morning then went to an NA group near my job....they were playing some of the actual speakers over the loudspeakers in the main meeting room. How they were connected to Spain---I'm not sure exactly...maybe over the phone or something........anyway--I got to hear people from many different parts of the world speak---such as Japan, India, Puerto Rico, etc....as well as a lady from the US got to share their ESH with all of us. It was absolutely amazing. The 12 steps have changed many lives--I guess I never really understood the magnitude of it before. We do recover. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Went to a meeting up the coast last night then for coffees afterwards...got to meet this guy who was credited with starting up NA in Spain..wow! Anyways was talking to him for 3 hours, well i was listening mostly. Totally blew my mind, he was a millionaire having made money all the wrong ways...then got sober, kept making money then lost it all as is often the case when you are doing that kind of stuff over here. Anyways he goes back home to live with his mother at 40, then take a degree, actually several then spends the next 22 years helping addicts and alchies in the prison service whilst setting up worksshops all over the UK...blew my mind, i felt knackered by the time i got home and took ages to get to sleep. You hear on the grapevine about **** like that, kind of like an urban myth but to actually meet these people. He didn't have an ego at all, but has literally saved 1000's of lives for his one life...i asked him a couple of times but didn't you want to make the money again and he replied no it wasn't important anymore. I always though that i would get sober, make some money buy a couple of properties outright, set up a business to tick income over, get a partner, go and explore the world...it's just...it just blew me away i guess?! I'm not even sure i want my plan anymore...thank goodness i only have to live in today lol
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: fl
Posts: 246
HI All
been bussy with training for my first 5K staying fit & feelign good, funny you saying that yeahgr about money! you start to think more deeply about life when you get a second chance
Thirtybubba hang in thier, congrats to everyone hers to more sober days
My only day off!! I have a new theme I have to do something diffrent at least once a week, so I'm off out shopping ( my fav thing ) may take in an art gallery
Everyone enjoy the day
been bussy with training for my first 5K staying fit & feelign good, funny you saying that yeahgr about money! you start to think more deeply about life when you get a second chance
Thirtybubba hang in thier, congrats to everyone hers to more sober days
My only day off!! I have a new theme I have to do something diffrent at least once a week, so I'm off out shopping ( my fav thing ) may take in an art gallery
Everyone enjoy the day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Started thinking about when i would get a job, y'know 1,2,3 months if this year...then went down the gym and now am sooooo happy im not having to go to work lol
Mental note - mind starts wandering go on the bike for an hour!!!! And my ass hurts bloody stupid expensive gym bike, must be preteen seats????!!!!!! hehe
Mental note - mind starts wandering go on the bike for an hour!!!! And my ass hurts bloody stupid expensive gym bike, must be preteen seats????!!!!!! hehe
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